Ask A STM+ w/o 12/31

Twinkiedoll · January 2019

@cato99 Lol. Your comment reminded me of the one other aspect of my birth plan. I refused to leave the house to go to the hospital until I had a smoothie. I was told by so many other moms that they would not let me eat once I got admitted. So there I am, contractions were like 3-4 minutes apart. I'm doubled over in pain at my blender, refusing to go until my damn smoothie was ready. I was 8 cm dilated by the time I got to the hospital. My husband thought I was crazy.

suzycupcake · January 2019

My MIL said that there are some things with having a baby that you just cannot go cheap on because there are things to consider like safety and that kind of stuff. What are the some things that you cannot go cheap on?

Twinkiedoll · January 2019

@suzycupcake a car seat. I would never buy a used car seat on Craigslist. You never know if the structural integrity of the car seat has been compromised because it was in an accident. If you are ever in a car accident, insurance generally covers the cost of another car seat for this reason. Structural damage/weakening is not something that you will necessarily be able to see by a visual inspection. Also, car seats have expiration dates o them. Don't buy a car seat that's expired. The impact absorbing foam and the plastics degrade over time.

I also wouldn't use a really old crib. The safety standards have changed over time. An old crib from when you were a kid was made to different specs than a crib today.

Things I would (and did) buy second hand: baby swings, bouncers, exersaucers, push walker toys, swaddles/sleepers.

suzycupcake · January 2019

Thank you! You STMs are awesome to help us FTMs out like this.

heml · January 2019

I agree with @suzycupcake THANK YOU ALL so much for answering any and all questions!!! So freaking helpful.

Twinkiedoll · January 2019

Also, it should probably go without saying, DO NOT BUY BABY FORMULA OFF EBAY or other resale website unless you are 1000% sure of the source. There is a huge problem with Chinese knockoff formula. Not only is it diluted, but it's replaced with carcinogenic and toxic chemicals.

If you have heard of "daigou" in Australia, you will know what I mean. https://www.abc.net.au/news/2018-04-26/daigou-chinese-personal-shopping-$1-billion-industry/9671012

olivemomma · January 2019

@suzycupcake I agree on the car seat. You definitely don’t need the most expensive one on the market market but new is key. Other things I think worth splurging on are good carriers (I have not yet heard of a baby who doesn’t love being worn by momma), and a stroller system. I don’t think these items have to be new but you want nice ones that will last. I would also consider some kind of wearable monitor that senses babies breathing and will alert you of any problems. The new mom paranoia that the baby has stopped breathing is real. I finally gave in a bought a Snuza which baby could wear and it would beep if they stopped breathing. It was a game changer and finally allowed me to relax. I THinkthe new cool version of this is the owlet.

Things i I would not go crazy on are bouncers, swings, etc. just because you don’t know what your little one like. I know of way too many moms who spent big bucks on the latest and greatest swing or bouncer only to have the baby hate it.

catebn824 · January 2019

....when did you cave and buy maternity pants? Different bras? I’m only 8+2 but my jeans are SO uncomfortable and the underwire on my bras is killing me! I sat at work today with my jeans completely unbottoned/zipper down all day (the hair tie trick is a no-go for me). My whole abdomen has been pretty sensitive to varying degrees so would love some input here...and what to buy!?

Twinkiedoll · January 2019

@catebn824 I switched to yoga pants and dresses early on because of the bloating. I started wearing leggings pants from Uniqlo to work and haven’t gone back to regular dress pants since my first pregnancy.

My cup size didn’t change until well into second trimester. If you don’t want to buy new pants yet, I recommend the Bellaband to hold up unbuttoned prepregnancy pants. I had them in two colors for my last pregnancy.

WinchesterGirl · January 2019

@catebn824 There's not necessarily a "too early" for maternity clothes, just a few things to consider:

1. Maternity clothes are typically meant to show off, not hide, the bump. Only problematic if you haven't announced yet.
2. You may have to buy more later in pregnancy, because you will grow & expand like you cannot believe right now. Some people wait longer in hopes of buying one set of clothes & no more the rest of the pregnancy.

Personally I bought some maternity jeans last week. There's no shame in my game!

wabash15 · January 2019

@catebn824 no need to delay on the maternity pants... comfort is key! It might just be bloat now but I pulled out the maternity pants last weekend.... as for bras if yours are uncomforitable it might be worth getting a new one but since its so early be aware that you may go up several more sizes. with my first successful pregnancy i went from a 32D to a 36G.... it was crazy...

Beauxbaton · January 2019

@suzycupcake as others have said don't buy a used carseat. But as far as the infant bucket type seats I have always bought the cheapest model. Use usually only use them about a year and they all have to pass the same safety regulations. I was more picky when buying the convertible carseats.

Twinkiedoll · January 2019

While all car seats pass the same minimum regulations, some exceed them and there are websites that perform tests to show which provide the most impact protection. And while it’s not a safety thing, ease of use was a big deal for me since I had to use the car seat all the time. My kid is on the small side so I used that infant car seat for 15 months, which is a long time in terms of baby products. That’s how I settled on the Chico Keyfit.

olivemomma · January 2019

For bras you may strongly want to consider something with no underwire that isn’t quite as size specific as 34B, 38D, etc. if you go that route and start now you may find yourself buying a ton of bras throughout pregnancy (and after!) to only have them fit for a short time. Trueandco.com makes a great option - no underwire so much more comfortable, especially once that belly really starts to grow. They also allow a little more flexibility in the cup size to grow and not necessarily have to size up each time.

ElcaB · January 2019

catebn824 said:

....when did you cave and buy maternity pants? Different bras? I’m only 8+2 but my jeans are SO uncomfortable and the underwire on my bras is killing me! I sat at work today with my jeans completely unbottoned/zipper down all day (the hair tie trick is a no-go for me). My whole abdomen has been pretty sensitive to varying degrees so would love some input here...and what to buy!?

@catebn824 there's no "caving" here! Maternity pants are a treat and I couldn't wait to start wearing them, so I didn't. Maternity leggings are where it's really at, though. Just wear what's comfortable to you, whenever you want. Fun fact: I wore maternity pants for a long time postpartum because I had a really hard time finding pants that fit properly.

Also, your bra size is going to keep changing. I'd recommend purchasing a few cheap but well made bras (TJ Maxx is a great place to find them). Sports bras are great, too. And you might want to snag some band extenders to help you get the most wear out of bras as your breasts change throughout and after pregnancy.

Twinkiedoll · January 2019

I want to take a minute to rep for my girl Jessica Simpson. I hate her music and her reality show, but that girl made the comfiest maternity bras and clothes I own. I waited for them to go on sale at Motherhood Maternity/A Pea in a Pod.

BigBadWolf12 · January 2019

catebn824 any time you want to wear maternity clothes, go for it! They definitely tend to accentuate the tummy though, so advice to be careful about what cuts you choose before you have gone public was good advice imo. I found a sale when I was ku before and bought two sizes of the maternity jeans and was thankful since the bigger size was definitely more comfortable at the end of third tri.

As for bras, depending on how big you are and how much support you need, you might have luck with stretchy bras. That's what I got and they've been great. Grew with me up through third tri and nursing, and shrunk back down with me after my supply regulated and I wasn't engorged and I lost a ton of weight. You'll get different recommendations from different people, but I liked buying all nursing bras when I was ku. your boobs change so much in pregnancy and after birth, even if i ended up growing out of the size I got (I didn't since I got stretchy bras lol), I would have been able to start using them again on the "way back down" post partum. If you plan to formula feed of course, I wouldn't since nursing bras *can* be more money than regular ones, but if there's a chance of breastfeeding, I would totally go for nursing bras

boymom312 · January 2019

I always showered at nap time with them in the bathroom with me or with the video monitor in the bathroom with me. I’d use their r&p, bouncy chair, or lay them on the floor on the bathroom rug. Whatever worked at the time. I do have glass shower doors so I’d always have a visual on them.

boymom312 · January 2019

Think of a birth plan as a guideline of how you would like l&d to go. Cover it lightly with your doc/nurse/midwife, but have the expectation that things may not work out that way. As in, probably won’t. It does help your nurses to be able to tailor your experiences or treatments with the closest, healthiest, options for you and baby.

I.e. with my second, I was adamant that I did not want pitosin if at all possible. However, my lo was stuck on a cervical lip and wasn’t budging when I was ready to push. They talked about pitosin to help it completely dialate. My doc, knowing my preference, opted to manually move the cervical lip aside. LO shot out at that point. It was a win win and all because my doc and I were flexible with our plans. Have a plan, but be flexible!

BigBadWolf12 · January 2019

oh, other maternity clothes suggestion: get a shaping short. I had a couple weddings to go to so I was like, ah, screw it, I'll buy a shaping short just to look good for the weddings, and omg, I wore it all the time even in daily life. It gave a bit of extra support to the bump (some people wear belly bands or different things for that) AND it just smoothed things out (butt, hips, thighs) while accentuating the bump in the best possible way. 10/10 would recommend

mkrel · January 2019

One of my biggest pregnancy scare/advice pet peeves is people telling you that you'll never be able to shower. I need to shower every day, that is just how I am, and guess what? I did. My daughter wouldn't nap anywhere aside from in my arms and always wanted to be held, but I put a bouncer chair next to the shower and when I knew she was fed and happy I took a quick 3 minute shower. On days that didn't happen, I showered when my husband got home from work. I will never understand why so many people told me it was impossible.

As far as maternity clothes/bras.... I think I may be the only pregnant person ever who's boobs don't get bigger, so I didn't have to worry about switching bras until the postpartum period when I needed nursing bras. I did live in sports bras third tri though since they were just more comfortable overall. I started with maternity clothes around 14 weeks last time, and this time I'm close to needing them at 10 weeks. I think it just depends on your level of comfort, but it is never too early.

It may be the nurse in me, but I am not a fan of birth plans. To each their own, but I didn't see a need for it. I communicated questions and concerns with my OB and my L&D nurse, and let me husband know that if I seem "off" or something ever doesn't seem right, he needs to speak up. Other than that I just rolled with the punches and enjoyed the process and spending the last few (12?) hours with my husband just the two of us pre-child. Looking back on it, it was one of my favorite times with him ever.

catebn824 · January 2019

@wabash15 oh lord I feel that...I’m a 36DD normally but swelling out of them already 🙈

thanks ladies for the advice!! May aim for some yoga pants or something stretchy for now...

Ask A STM+ w/o 12/31

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