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May 2019 Moms
peachy13
member
Monday Bitchfest 12/24 - special holiday edition
peachy13
member
Vent about your MIL, stupid Christmas movies, last minute shopping, holidays in general, New Years Eve (ugh), etc.
LET IT OUT
LET IT OUT
Me: 33 DH: 34
Married: Oct 2015
TTC #1: Sept 2016
BFP: 10/19/16 ~ blighted ovum ~ D&C 11/23/16
BFP: 3/24/17
DD1 born 12/2/17
TTC #2: July 2018
BFP: 8/26/18 DD2 born 5/16/19
Married: Oct 2015
TTC #1: Sept 2016
BFP: 10/19/16 ~ blighted ovum ~ D&C 11/23/16
BFP: 3/24/17
DD1 born 12/2/17TTC #2: July 2018
BFP: 8/26/18
DD2 born 5/16/19
Re: Monday Bitchfest 12/24 - special holiday edition
This woman has also been not shy at all about her desire to be a grandmother and even told her daughter she should come back from her honeymoon pregnant (this was 3 years ago). I don't believe her daughter is even trying to start a family - although I would feel bad if she is and not getting lucky - however there are no grandchildren yet. So, I imagine this woman is a little bitter that I'm on baby #2. I recall her making a few tasteless comments when I was pregnant with DD and unloading some bad unsolicited advice on me, but I got pretty pissed off last night at the party when she stumbled up to me, disgustingly pointed at my bump, and said - "you already look like that and you're not due until May?" and then kind of eyerolled and walked away. Wow, seriously. GFY.
Married: Oct 2015
TTC #1: Sept 2016
BFP: 10/19/16 ~ blighted ovum ~ D&C 11/23/16
BFP: 3/24/17
TTC #2: July 2018
BFP: 8/26/18
My bitchfest is that my MIL, who hosts Christmas Eve and waits until the last minute for everything, just asked me to clean her house today and run errands in preparation for today so she can finish baking. This would be fine, except I have been asking her every single day of the last week before she expressly stated she "does this every year and doesn't need any help" on Saturday and got huffy about it. So, I made plans for today to paint shop, grab lunch with a few girlfriends from out of town and see a movie before I head over and she just called saying she told me that she asked me for help every day this week! I said no, I offered and she turned me down. I told her I am busy and to ask one of my other sisters-in-law.
Long story short, she went crying to my husband, who calls me and asked why I rudely turned his mother down...I explained and he said he'd call her to calm her down, but to enjoy my day!
Married: Oct 2015
TTC #1: Sept 2016
BFP: 10/19/16 ~ blighted ovum ~ D&C 11/23/16
BFP: 3/24/17
TTC #2: July 2018
BFP: 8/26/18
Mine is that my husband prioritizes football and drinking over helping me get ready for all of the holiday stuff we have going on this week. I was in pain and exhausted last night and he just didn't seem to care.
I guess I have a tiny bitch. I don't know if anyone remembers the crazy bil I talked about at Thanksgiving, talking about the neighbors being in the CIA and aliens and shit. The upside to my in laws coming here is he can't drive. Well, my H got a wild hair up his butt (he hates his brother) and told his dad he should invite bil down here and bring him with them. Mil is going to be PISSED. She's already so high strung during the holidays and he makes her SO mad. She literally hid in her room for HOURS after Thanksgiving dinner until he left. He's really difficult to be around. But really I have a hard time being mad. Because H did it because he knows his brother has no where to go (he lives in a boat in the woods) and knows his Dad is probably conflicted with coming here because he wants to see bil. So I'm in between "no, don't do that nobody likes him" and "aww, you're so sweet" 😂
ETA: My BF is my sister who is supposed to come over today but she won't give me a time. To say that she is a commitment-phobe is an extreme understatement! I didn't even find out until yesterday what day she actually would be coming over. Last week, she literally asked me my entire schedule for this week and was like "okay I'll let you know what I decide. " Mind you, she's single and doesn't have any kids or anything.
@cwell2016 Good for you and glad your DH backed you up too. Enjoy your day with friends
We are not giving each other gifts with DH for Xmas as we are buying stuff for the baby in the new year, but it is his bday today. We are at my parents and I fell with a massive cold and feel like shit so I feel like I am being the shitty one to all as I don’t want to do anything
My bitch is a long one, sorry in advance lol. My husband's oldest sister is a single mom of 4 who took in a foster kid no one wanted this summer. He's a great kid with some behavior issues but has made so much progress in the time my SIL has had him. Anyway we asked for christmas lists for all the kids in November and were told not to worry about the foster kid because the state provides like $300 in gifts for him and as a single mom she won't be able to do that for her kids so she was going to spread out the state gifts to the family to give her foster son so it wasn't sooo much on Christmas Day. So yesterday we were running out for any last minute stuff and I asked my husband to double check we were covered for her foster son so when we went over today to exchange gifts we didn't show up empty handed. She tells him the state gifts were not wonderful so if we wanted to get him something to do so much nothing big, a Seahawks shirt or something like that. In my mind that's not a great gift from your "uncle" especially since the other boys got RC cars from us. But we went out got the shirt, packed it up with everything else in the car for the 2.5 hour drive to my husband's family this morning. We were planning to get on the road at 10 so we could be there by 1230-1 but we get a call from my SIL at about 930 asking us to stop and pick up a Santa gift for her foster son on our way over because she didn't have time to. She lives 5 minutes from my mother in law which is where we're going. Drop the kids off and run your own damn errands🙄. Anyway she gives a list of things to get as a Santa gift one of them being an RC car which is what I wanted to get the foster son in the first place since it's what we got the other boys. So we have to go out shopping on Christmas Eve at the last minute because she doesn't have time for the gift I wanted to buy in the first place. It's now 230 and we still haven't made it to my mother in laws because of the ferry traffic on our side of the water and now highway traffic on their side of the water. I'm so ticked at the whole situation. I asked my husband repeatedly if I could just buy this kid a RC car for Christmas, even yesterday as a just in case gift.
@eatinwatermelonseeds they said they don’t think it’s sciatica because of where the pain is, but some other pinched nerve higher up I guess. Who knows.
Overall update: My OB (who I’ve still never met) told the ER doctor he felt my pain was due to anxiety. Have I had a lot of anxiety surrounding my pregnancy? Yep. I’m very upfront about it. Two years of infertility treatments will do that to you. However having a Dr who has never met me mansplain my legitimate pain and inability to walk as anxiety really pissed me off. The ER doctor basically dismissed all my concerns after that and told me to follow up with my OB in two days. Of course they’re closed for the week. I’m seriously considering switching doctors.
My OBs are a larger group so I see like 6+ (I’m high risk so I know them all well—I had more than 40 appointments my last pregnancy). I definitely understand wanting to see a woman (I have a slight preference for men which I know is not the norm), but as I think about it none of the women doctors in the group are moms who have given birth. All the men are dads whose wives gave birth, which I only know because they will occasionally anecdotally draw on their own experiences, but for whatever reason none of the women are moms. And my long term gyn who I saw for a decade before getting pregnant and risked out of her practice was a mom, but she had used a surrogate so wouldn’t have had first hand experience at pregnancy.
Personally, outside the medical context, I find the least sympathetic people to pregnancy tend to be moms who had really easy pregnancies. I work in a very male-dominated field and when I told men I had to take time off of work due to vomiting several times a day they “got it” (or at least pretended to get it), whereas women who had easy pregnancies and never took a day off of work had more of an “If I could do it, she should be able to do it” attitude. That’s purely anecdotal, just my experience!
And most importantly: totallly agree that the OP should get a new doctor.
@jkduer you gotta find a new provider! How have you not met your ob yet and you're past 20 weeks?! Definitely find a midwife or other ob that will actually meet and listen to you. He's never met you and yet is mansplaining about you. Nope nope nope! Follow your intuition.
I agree with others about a having a male ob/gyn or primary care provider. It just seems like such an incongruous thing to have a man in charge of labor and delivery although I know there are many good male obs out there.
Hang in there, everyone! Happy Christmas!
I've never seen a midwife but that would make me too anxious. The reason I chose an OB the first time around was on the off chance I needed a C-section and she's at a hospital with a level III NICU. I ended up needing both those things and am pretty sure this will end in C-section as well.
I'm not really making sense 😂 @anonellis I do see what youre saying and I guess I have just heard of many male OBs writing their pregnant patients off. Even H, who GETS it and watched me suffer through labor ended up prioritizing his comfort over mine at a few points during the process. He wasn't being a jerk, he just wasn't thinking.
But after a day and a half of that I just broke down. I was exhausted. I also brought the wrong shoes, which is on me, so my feet are all torn up. We didn't make it to the large historic fort or the conservation center.
So last night hubs woke me up at 7pm after I fell asleep. I asked him to bring me some plain food, like pasta, for dinner. No more fish. It's unusual for me to stop eating the local cuisine when I travel but I'd had enough. No, he insisted I come out with him to find food.
Since my feet were in such bad shape I asked him to know where we were going before we went. Long story short he did not check if the place was open so we had to walk 3x the distance to double back to a Chinese place I said was fine in the first place. I cried in the resteraunt.
Today he did very good though. All day on a quiet island, got to snorkle and meet some dolphins and read a book. But yesterday ... I could have killed him.
I have mentioned a lot that I had a terrible pregnancy with DD. I did not sleep for days at a time and then when I did- it was never more than 4 hours a night. I had to take all kinds of meds to sleep and I was just absolutely miserable, depressed, and suicidal at times. I got the least amount of sympathy from coworkers who had been pregnant and even my never been pregnant female colleagues. I am beyond thankful that my 2 male bosses fully recognized that I was NOT myself and given that a lot of child advocacy work revolves around PPD and depression in pregnancy, recognized that what I was going through was connected to chemical changes due to pregnancy and not that I was being a baby about being pregnant. I got so many nasty looks and even comments about not pulling my weight from coworkers, which made things even worse. I am beyond grateful that my bosses encouraged me to take leave early and still let me take 13 weeks after DD was born.
Along those lines, yesterday I was chatting with DH's cousin who is also due in May and asking her about the awful sciatic pain she was dealing with. She's had a much rougher pregnancy than me- MS through 14 weeks, puking every day, weird cysts growing on her body, and all kinds of other weird shit. Her mom, DH's aunt, interrupted us and said: "You know Jenny's the only woman who has ever been pregnant before." I seriously could have slapped the woman in the face. Luckily the cousin looked at her and "Mom, why do you have to be such a BITCH?"
But it goes back to the lack of understanding that not every pregnancy is the same and some women SEVERELY suffer to the point of constant hospital/doctors visits, while others float right on through. And it's the women who are usually the worst about understanding this!