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July 2019 Moms
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PGAL 12/22

PanaceiaPanaceia member
in July 2019 Moms
Hope no one minds if I start this.

This thread is a safe place for those who are pregnant after a loss. (PGAL).  If you have suffered a loss please feel free to answer the questions below and keep things going throughout the week as a continuing conversation. 

If you haven’t suffered a loss, please refrain from answering the questions, but know we welcome anyone who wants to come in and support the PGAL ladies and their milestones with encouragement or love tits! Thank you! 

1. How many weeks are you?

2. Previous loss(es)?

3. How are you feeling? Emotionally and physically?

4. Any appointment updates?

5. Rants/Raves/Questions? 

6. Any milestones coming up? 

7. GTKY: What are you most looking forward to over the holidays?
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Re: PGAL 12/22

  • PanaceiaPanaceia member
    Sorry everyone. I'm feeling super stressed and needed this thread to give me an outlet. Hope no one minds that I started it.

    1. How many weeks are you? 12+5

    2. Previous loss(es)? 2 MMC (13 & 10 weeks)

    3. How are you feeling? Emotionally and physically? Physically incredibly sick. Food doesn't stay down and I'm starting to have trouble with liquids. Emotionally super stressed. I'm quickly approaching a loss milestone...13 weeks...which will be Xmas eve. I haven't gotten my NIPT results back yet and I'm so worried that I'll end up getting bad news on Monday. Right at 13 weeks. Again. It has taken so much for us to get back to this point. I'm just terrified now that despite good US results and appointments that it is all going to get taken away from us again. Told you I needed this thread:/

    4. Any appointment updates? I had one on Wednesday. My OB found the HB with the doppler immediately  (163) and based on my last US from 10+4 moved my EDD up to July 1st. I have my next appointment on Thursday with my GP. I see the OB again on Jan 15th at which point they'll schedule the AS!

    5. Rants/Raves/Questions? Still stressing about NIPT results. I'm hoping they're in by Monday. If not I'm sure they'll have them by my Thursday appointment but I just really need to know that baby is ok.

    The only other time I've ever been pregnant over Xmas is when I was carrying DD. One month later she was in my arms:) I'm trying to see this as a good omen.

    6. Any milestones coming up? 13 weeks on Monday. A big one for me. I almost died during my first loss at 13 weeks 1.5 years ago...so it's a super stressy one for me.

    7. GTKY: What are you most looking forward to over the holidays? Watching DD open her gifts and just seeing her joy at being with family and friends. I keep reminding my self that no matter what happens we are so so lucky to have this little girl.
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  • yelyah4826yelyah4826 member
    @Panaceia I hope you are able to take the time to enjoy the holidays, focus on your positive US results ❤️

    I haven’t posted in a very long time because it’s not that I feel detached from this pregnancy it’s just I don’t know, it just changes after you’ve had a loss...

    How many weeks are you? 11 weeks 2 days

    2. Previous loss(es)? Cycle right before this pregnancy, lost at 5 weeks 5 days

    3. How are you feeling? Emotionally and physically? I have two older children and their pregnancies were night and day to this one. I am beyond exhausted, and nauseous probably  80% of the time. Emotionally I feel a lot of guilt because I want this baby so badly, but it has taken such a toll on my body already that I feel so guilty for wanting it because it’s so much added pressure on my husband to help out above and beyond what he normally does and I feel so much guilt for telling my 3.5 and 5 year old that mommy is always too tired or too sick. I just feel like I’ve really let the ball drop completely, things I love to do like bake and decorate/craft over the holidays I haven’t done because I just physically cannot.

    We haven’t told anyone yet and I’m struggling with what to do because we have not heard a heartbeat yet, my first app was at 10 weeks and she wouldn’t try the Doppler for fear of not getting the heartbeat and causing anxiety, they don’t have an US in office so I can understand why she chose that but it makes it had to tell people. I have a dating US scheduled for the 28th due to the miscarriage in the cycle immediately before, I want to tell people on Christmas but it’s just there are so many nieces and nephews plus my kids, that I can’t bare to confuse them or break their hearts if I have bad news 3 days later. I don’t know what to do. I feel like I’m being robbed of joy and excitement...

    4. Any appointment updates? 
    A dating US on the 28th

    5. Rants/Raves/Questions? 
    I pretty much ranted above. Would love anyone’s input on what they would do with regards to sharing if they were in my shoes

    6. Any milestones coming up? 

    7. GTKY: What are you most looking forward to over the holidays? 
    Anniversary
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    Lilypie Kids Birthday tickers

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  • Happyin14Happyin14 member
    @Panaceia, your post made me cry. Mostly because we are in such similar boats. I spent 2 of the last 5 Christmas Eves (since we lost our son) in the ER dealing with miscarriage. I won’t have the new NIPT test but I will get the blood results from NT on Monday and it just feels.... hard. It’s hard to imagine celebrating a pregnancy on Christmas ever. 

    But remember that every pregnancy is different. There’s no jinx or curse on dates. Even when it feels that way. This pregnancy has been great so far, right? I mean you can’t eat!! That’s amazing. 😉 Sending Love. I often wonder why I do this to myself around the holidays. But again, those are feelings and not the medical reality. 
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  • Happyin14Happyin14 member
    1. How many weeks are you? 12

    2. Previous loss(es)? 8 of them. 

    3. How are you feeling? Emotionally and physically? Physically: one day, better. One day, worse. Which is almost more annoying than always feeling sick. 

    4. Any appointment updates? NT scan yesterday and all was great. We told our son. So of course my anxiety is through the roof.

    5. Rants/Raves/Questions? We are telling my parents this weekend that I’m pregnant. But don’t plan to share widely. My mom cannot keep a secret and I know this. I know everyone will know and I just hate that. Blurgh.

    6. Any milestones coming up? I’ve passed loss milestones. But genetic testing stuff. 

    7. GTKY: What are you most looking forward to over the holidays? Christmas morning with the 4yo. He’s gonna love it. 
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  • PanaceiaPanaceia member
    @Happyin14 Thank you❤ You always know the right things to say to make me feel better. I've got my fingers crossed for both of us that we get good news on Monday!
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  • PanaceiaPanaceia member
    @yelyah4826 I'm like you in that I don't feel confident in anything. Honestly I'm not telling anyone anything unless I have my NIPT results back. My parents and sister know and my mom of course had to tell my brother and SIL but my nieces and nephew don't know. Neither does DD. And no one in SO's family knows. If we get good results on Monday then I'll tell MIL on Xmas day....but honestly I'm not telling anyone else. And I'm not telling DD until after the AS. But that's just me. I'm also sad that I feel more anxious than happy most of the time:(
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  • indulgentgypsyindulgentgypsy member
    1. How many weeks are you? 11w5d

    2. Previous loss(es)? 5

    3. How are you feeling? Emotionally and physically? Physically a bit better. Emotionally, I'm starting to think we may cross the finish line this time, but I'm still scared. 

    4. Any appointment updates? Not yet, appointment after Christmas, still waiting on the results of my NIPT.

    5. Rants/Raves/Questions? None 

    6. Any milestones coming up? 13w on New Year's eve is my last loss milestone. 

    7. GTKY: What are you most looking forward to over the holidays? Being off work for 2 weeks.
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  • cindlercindler member
    So happy to see milestones pass by for so many people. My heart is with you all as you try to find the good in this time of year.  <3
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  • pregnant_and_paleopregnant_and_paleo member
    1. How many weeks are you?
    11w today 

    2. Previous loss(es)?
    MMC found exactly one year ago today when I was 9w5d

    3. How are you feeling?
    Emotionally and physically? Lots of sharp cramping this evening which is terrifying me. I haven’t had anything like this before.

    4. Any appointment updates? 
    I just went from weekly appointments (to monitor a SCH)to biweekly appointments so I don’t go back until 1/4

    5. Rants/Raves/Questions? 
    Is sudden sharp pain ever normal?
    And is anyone else only 11 weeks but feel like their pants are the most uncomfortable thing in the world? Ha - bursting at the seams over here

    6. Any milestones coming up? 
    Looking forward to hitting my second trimester in a few weeks...

    7. GTKY: What are you most looking forward to over the holidays?
    Hanging with my family day of, and my husband’s family day after...plus -not paying attention to calories and carbs for once during Christmas dinner haha give me all the cookies this year
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  • PanaceiaPanaceia member
    edited December 2018
    @pregnant_and_paleo I get sharp pains from gas and have gotten them throughout. Also if I don't drink enough during the day I'll get them. So you are not alone there. And I'll be 13 weeks Monday but switched to mat leggings weeks ago due to the bloat. I don't even look at my regular pants anymore!
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  • pregnant_and_paleopregnant_and_paleo member
    @Panaceia yes I totally need some comfy leggings
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  • snootlessnootles member
    Had red bleeding on Christmas Day, just before sitting down for the main meal. Very stressful. Had faded to brown by next toilet visit, then nothing. It’s hopefully my SCH bleeding out.
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  • Happyin14Happyin14 member
    @snootles, sorry you have that today! That is the worst. I’m sure it’s the SCH - very likely candidate. Get some rest! 
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  • PanaceiaPanaceia member
    @snootles Sorry for the stress:( Hopefully you haven't had any since!
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  • PanaceiaPanaceia member
    I have my appointment tomorrow morning where I will find out my genetic results. Having had so much time to think about it has me totally stressed out now. If I had gotten the results last week like I was meant to I think I would have been ok...but the build up is just too much now. Basically I'm dreading my appointment tomorrow.
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  • Happyin14Happyin14 member
    @Panaceia, I am so excited for you. This hurdle is a huge one and you’ll be over it. And you can handle whatever is there BUT I am mostly sure it’s good news. Let us know!! Try and get some sleep tonight. You’ll be glad you did when you try and stay up late tomorrow celebrating. 
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  • PanaceiaPanaceia member
    Thanks @Happyin14 . I'm just jumping in the shower now and then I'm on my way. I woke up about 10 times last night from nerves but I'll have my answers in about am hour I guess. I'll update when I get home:)
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  • Bear14+Bear14+ member
    @Panaceia good luck today, all the t&p!! 
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  • nopegoatnopegoat member
    My fingers are crossed for nothing but great news today for you @Panaceia ❤️ 
    Wife. Boy mom x6. Expecting #7. Wannabe homesteader.
    , 💙💙💙💙💙💙
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  • NicholeL16NicholeL16 member
    @Panaceia so happy to see your update, congratulations!
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  • PanaceiaPanaceia member
    edited December 2018
    Thanks @NicholeL16 ! I was so so stressed but this definitely lets me feel like we may actually be bringing this little girl home in 6 months:)
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  • Happyin14Happyin14 member
    @Panaceia!!!! YAY!!! Congrats. Phew. 
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  • cvolkmarcvolkmar member
    1. How many weeks are you? 9w 1d

    2. Previous loss(es)? 1 in August 2018

    3. How are you feeling? Emotionally and physically?

    Physically, I feel fine. I’m just exhausted by 8:30 everyday. Emotionally, I’m a nervous wreck. 

    4. Any appointment updates? Had one today with an ultrasound. Everything is still
    going well. Baby is measuring 2 days ahead with a heartbeat of 170

    5. Rants/Raves/Questions? When do you start to get excited about the baby after a loss?? I feel like I’m not letting myself enjoy this pregnancy or get excited. Also, I don’t “feel” pregnant. So that’s not helping anything. I have very few symptoms. 

    6. Any milestones coming up? 

    7. GTKY: What are you most looking forward to over the holidays?
    Report Reply
  • PanaceiaPanaceia member
    @cvolkmar I'm 13+3 and honestly just started getting a little bit excited today once we got good news from our NIPT results. I'm pretty sure I'm not going to feel confident at any point this pregnancy but I'm going to start trying to let myself enjoy it at least a little.
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  • Happyin14Happyin14 member
    @cvolkmar, it will come! Give it time. There are lots of months before babe arrives and lots that will happen to start to get used to the idea. For me, I think it’s gonna be when I can feel babe kicking. 
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  • indulgentgypsyindulgentgypsy member
    So I really want to start crocheting a rainbow baby blanket for my Mouse, but part of me is still waiting in fear...

    What do you think mamas? Go ahead and start?
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  • Happyin14Happyin14 member
    @indulgentgypsy, I’ve been in the same boat. I haven’t started yet... but there’s no reason not to. Maybe decide what you would do if? And make sure you are at peace with that? 
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  • indulgentgypsyindulgentgypsy member
    @Happyin14 there is a teacher at my school a few weeks ahead of me. She's experienced a loss before too, so if I had to,  I would gift it to her.
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  • PanaceiaPanaceia member
    @indulgentgypsy I say go for it. I bought baby an Xmas gift and have it hidden in the closet. I keep reminding myself that hope doesn't make bad things happen. 
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