Private Life:a film about infertility- spoilers — The Bump

Private Life:a film about infertility- spoilers

Recently, DW and I watched the film Private Life. It chronicles the struggles of a couple dealing with IF. The film was "good" and accurate. But, I recommend that most couples dealing with IF avoid watching it. You see, not only does the film capture the emotional pain of IF, but it is not a "happy ending" kind of movie. I would consider a happy ending either they get pregnant or they learn to accept IF and grow stronger as a couple. Unfortunately, that is not what happens. Instead, the movie ends with the couple sad, broken and desperate. As I said, the film is good, but I think most IF couples do not need to deal with this gritty and painful film.

However, the film does have a great use. I think couples dealing with IF should recommend this film to friends and family. The film makes a great window into our journey. The film will allow friends and family to understand our situation without a lot of painful conversations.


Re: Private Life:a film about infertility- spoilers

  • I recently watched it and I actually loved the ending. I saw the couple differently at the end. They stopped letting infertility dominate their lives and started living again.  The husband moving from across the table to next to the wife shows they became a team.   Their story wasn't over yet and we don't know what actually ended up happening. It can be encouraging to hear of people's success stories and people beating the odds.  It seems like what I read or hear about defines resolution of infertility as IVF working. I see less about struggles with infertility and people being successful through adoption.  And even less with people finding resolution living without children. The types of stories I'm coming across could be due to our particular path now of pursuing treatment through IVF at this time.   It was refreshing, for me, to see an ending in this movie where it's not "happy".  It is tragic, sad, pathetic, and real. I found this movie much more relatable to my situation because I also have uncertainty about what my ending will be. 
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  • Agree with @ah80
    People think we become mothers when we give birth but the truth is we become mothers the moment we start calling our babies to us in our thoughts, dreams and prayers. Some paths are short and some are so long that you can easily forget where you were headed.

    How I feel all of the time.
    My 7 Year Journey ***Tw in spoiler***
    IVF #1 - September 2018; Follistim, Menopur, Cetrotide & Lupron/HCG combo trigger; PGS; ICSI
    Back on Levothyroxine
    FET #1 - October 2018; cancelled, all PGS aneuploid
    FET #1 - November 30th, transferred anyway
    Wondfo BFP 5dp5dt, CB Digi 6dpt, 
    1st Beta on 7dpt 93
    2nd Beta on 10dpt 510!

    TTC #1 since 2011. Tried for 5 years before we knew there was a one year rule.
    Diag w/MS 2016; w/PCOS & IF 2017
    New RE 2018; PCOS diagnosis taken away, IF due to ovary adhesions, but prev. RE insists PCOS IF

    IUI #1 July 2017 w/100mg Clo+trigger; BFN; benched w/big cysts
    IUI #2 October 2017 w/50mg Clo+trigger; BFN; benched w/big cysts
    IUI #3 February 2018 w/5mg Femara+trigger; low P
    BFP February; mc March; Subclinical hypothyroid started Levothyroxine 
    IUI #4 March 2018 w/7.5mg Femara+trigger; BFN
    Medicated cycle & TI April 2018 w/7.5mg Femara+trigger; BFN
    Tried several cycles on our own; all BFN
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  • Ah80, I guess I can see your reading of the film. Glad you had a positive experience from it. But, it bummed us out.
  • @guyinsea I don't think my experience with the movie could be described as positive.  The word I have for the couple in the movie was "pathetic" and since I related to them, it left me with thoughts of myself also being pathetic.  I saw the movie a little over a week ago and had persistent negative feelings for days afterwards.  I can definitely see why you would caution others from seeing it.  It was just different to see or hear of an ending that they don't get a baby in the end as more real to me and my situation.  While encouraging, I can't relate to the "happy" ending yet.  More days than not, given my particular circumstances, I don't believe an ending in which we have a biological child is even possible. Unfortunately, right now, that is the only outcome that I can see myself being happy with and know we are doing everything possible to make that happen. People don't always get a child after going through this and it was just good to see to see this outcome depicted in the movie.  
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