@kandos I think the new year is a good natural starting point for a lot of things. If you negotiate even 1 more WFH day in January and then maybe add the last starting in Feb, you’ll be in a good position and probably at your most comfortable in the last month of your pregnancy.
AFM, I was lucky to be in CA with my last pregnancy and could take the month before my due date off work without it affecting my maternity leave on the back end. This time in VA I barely get any pay through company STDI so I plan to work as long as I can. That said, I’m hoping maybe starting in March I will be in a position to work from home just for my own comfort. I’m due March 20 and went 10 days late last time. I’ve already switched to exclusively office work and have WFH once or twice already so hopefully I can work that out.
DD1: June '16 DD2: March ‘19 :::: Married since 2011 :::: USN Wife ::::
IMO, if you have the option to be able to work from home or remotely then do it! I will have to work FT until 39 weeks unless there is some medical reason not to and I am assuming it will be physically difficult at that point. Luckily, I have been blessed with a wonderful class this year. Hopefully, they will take it easy on me. 😉
@kandos I would ask what options are available for working from home. I know it can be overwhelming when you are starting to have health concerns especially when pregnant. I don’t think it hurts at all to at least ask what your options are so working from home more if it will help you feel more productive and comfortable. I would
I am FTM and due on Feb 27 - Mar 1st week. I work as full time employee and our employer has tie up with Liberty mutual for the maternity leave and I believe short term disability leave as well. In our employer website it says you need to inform at least 15 days in advance. So guess my question is what if I get delivered earlier than my due date. Does anyone know how this works?
@kandos could it be that they require 15 days advance notice of pregnancy due date? At least for my company, you apply for leave in advance, but then modify the dates when the baby is born and you know the exact leave start date. They also offer short term disability for 2 weeks before the due date (you have to exhaust the sick leave first before it kicks in). And in that case as well if you end up delivering late you don't have to come back to work after 2 weeks but it's extended automatically until birth.
@kandos ours is the same as mihaelams1. It’s not that you have to tell them 15 days before you start your leave, they just want at least that much time to do all the paperwork and can adjust as time comes closer.
ETA: it’s probably written that way for other medical leave purposes like a surgery. Delivery is obviously less predictable than that and most employers understand and can be flexible.
DD1: June '16 DD2: March ‘19 :::: Married since 2011 :::: USN Wife ::::
Thank you @mihaelams1 and @meggyme both. You were right. I also did contact Liberty Mutual and they say as long as we notify them after the birth it should be ok. If only it is STD (short term disability) then it is more aggressive with doctor's note and reason and then they only they approve.
Seeing this thread pop up again reminded me: someone (childless) at my work is trying to schedule a week long training around the maternity leaves of myself and another employee and she keeps asking when we will be on leave. Ummmm, hello, it’s not something I can schedule. The best I could give her was a 4 week window and a reminder to try not to schedule something based on completely unschedulable events.
@maggiemadeit when I was pregnant with DS1 I was in a team room with ~8 male colleagues plus my then manager. All childless... They were clueless on so many things! Thankfully my water broke on my due date, so they didn't have to deal with the logistics of an unpredictable baby. I have kept in touch with my old manager after moving teams and we meet for coffee periodically. He has a son now and it's was so fun to see how he changed after that!
@maggiemadeit My childless practice manager scheduled us for a radio show the weekend I am 39 weeks. I told her I will most likely not be there and she laughed. Jokes going to be on her.
@purpleteacher82 I worked all the way up until I went into labor with DD. The plus side to working until the end is it keeps your mind busy. In the last few weeks I wanted my baby to be here so badly and couldn’t wait to meet her. I think I may have gone mentally crazy without the distraction of work. Being in a group like this where you see babies being born left and right while you are waiting for yours, makes it even more difficult to be wait.
@JLaVO888 That’s a good point! I just need to physically take it a little easier, I think. It’s hard for me to slow down and stay off my feet (as much as possible). I already feel overwhelmed with report cards, conferences, and getting ready for a long term sub all in the next 11 weeks. It would probably be worse if I had even less time to get it all done.
@purpleteacher82 I just wanted to put in that when I was in grade school I remember my teacher putting a chair in the center front of the room and teaching us sitting towards the end of her pregnancy.
@Kenneylynn3 I do actually teach from a chair most of the time, but there’s not a ton of direct instruction in first grade. Most of the time my students are working and I am roaming around helping, redirecting, etc. I just tend to be a very “active” teacher and that’s a hard habit to break! 🙂
@purpleteacher82 I so get you on that! I spend a lot more time at my guided reading table than usual and have my kids fetching things from around the room. It’s nice that they know how everything runs at this point in th year so they are helpful but even still I’m on my feet so much. The BH are pretty much non stop all day from it.
@JLaVO888 I need to be better about that! My class this year loves to help and I need to take advantage of that. 🙂 I don’t think I’ve had any BH yet. I’m sure that makes things harder. I hope the rest of your time until maternity leave goes well. I’m already sad about leaving my class for the year!
@purpleteacher82 I’ve got one really hard, aggressive kid this year that I’ve had to be very cautious around. (He throws things and punches when he gets escalated.) It’s honestly making me less sad about leaving my class this go around. I will miss most of them for sure but I mainly just feel stressed about having less time to work with them. Thankfully, academically they are the highest class I’ve ever had so that takes some of the stress off.
@JLaVO888 I have one of those this year too, but fortunately he has a one-on-one so I can mostly avoid being in the line of fire. I’m sorry you are having to deal with that. This by far the best class I have ever had, so I’m defintitely sad about leaving them, but it also makes me comfortable leaving them with someone else for the remainder of the year.
Anyone else's employer waiting til the last minute to make sure someone is there when you go on leave? I talked to my boss about when I leave today. She said they won't want to bring someone on too early. All I can think is, "what if this baby comes early?" I know it's not my problem, but it takes forever getting anyone hired and on-boarded as it is.
TTC #1 since April 2015 June 2016 - CP 2017 - Medicated Cycles & IUI's IVF w/ PGS - January 2018 FET #1 - April 2018 - BFN ERA Cycle May / June 2018 ERA Biopsy June 2018 ~ Results: receptive (no change) FET #2 - July 2018 - BFP Beta #1 - 137 Beta #2 - 410 U/S #1 7wk1d - HB 144 U/S #2 9w1d HB 166 Anatomy Scan 1st 11/2/18 2nd AS 11/19 EDD March 28, 2019 Baby Girl born 3/26/19
I work at a small business no chain or anything. The type that never lists as full time so no benefits vacation etc which means no maternity leave. I'm starting to stress trying to figure out how to do this when bump does arrive. I dont have the option to take 6 weeks off. Anyone have any advice?
@Bride2b1213 have you talked to them about how much time you will be able to take off? If you are part time, unfortunately they aren’t required to hold your job for you. Depending on your state laws, there may be some maternity pay.
DD1: June '16 DD2: March ‘19 :::: Married since 2011 :::: USN Wife ::::
I've talked briefly with the owner. No maternity pay what so ever and she asked me to write up what I'd like to do. I doubt I can take off more than 2 weeks I don't have the choice I have bills
I am due March 1st - plan to for sure leave work by 36 weeks. I am one of two cooks at a public school and it is a very physical job, 6 hours a day but it is very fast-paced, constant moving and lifting, mopping, bending, absolutely no sitting; I have had regular pelvic pain and lightning crotch every day since 5 1/2 mos. I had only experienced these symptoms at the end of my previous pregnancies. Now, at 32 weeks my crotch pain is constant and so strong, it hurts pretty badly for me to walk. I told my boss I definitely plan to stop once February comes-- I HOPE I can make it til then 🙁 I won't get paid leave, nor FMLA because I haven't been working there above a year. I don't get any disability in my state. I *may get unemployment for the summer if my boss does manage to keep me on an unpaid leave but that's still unclear. She has never had anyone on maternity leave (it's mostly post menopausal women in this profession LOL) and has to get "back" with me on that. We are used to living on a single income- my fiance lost his job and been out of work for months; (with two kids in the mix) we've been living off of $1000 a month, It's been a horrible situation and been doing my damnedest to replace my current position with an office job (I fell out of the field recently...its been a disastrous career year for our family- let's put it at that!) My fiance's new job offers us a stable enough living. It will be a welcome break. With two hyper young kids and so physically tired out every day, I can't wait for some rest.
@Bride2b1213 I am considered contracted with my group, basically self employed. So this time around I have no benefits, PTO, or FMLA. It is something I brought up when I interviewed last year because I knew we wanted at least one more LO. I am able to make my own plan of leave but obviously will not be paid during my time off. Are you able to swing going back part time to start? I know not everyone can afford to take a lengthy leave in that situation. I kind of planned ahead and worked my butt off until I had to reduce my hours recently to hopefully make up for some of the loss while I’m off.
So apparently I have an interview on Friday for a position with my current company but in San Diego. Trying to find something "more than jeans but not too formal either" to wear ought to be interesting... I feel a little bad because right now I have no intention of taking the position that I'm interviewing for, but it is my backup plan just in case my other verbal offer falls through somehow.
DD1: June '16 DD2: March ‘19 :::: Married since 2011 :::: USN Wife ::::
good luck, @meggyme! I found some inexpensive dressier black pants at Motherhood Maternity that I bought to have on hand for interviews/non-leggings/non-jean occasions, could you do something like that and a nice sweater?
@catlady2015 I'll have to look at what I have. I think I have a couple dresses or skirts that might work. I just hate dressing like a girl for anything professional since I work in a male dominated industry. But I guess showing up 7 1/2 months pregnant is kind of a giveaway too. I also don't really want to buy anything this late in the game because I'm cheap.
DD1: June '16 DD2: March ‘19 :::: Married since 2011 :::: USN Wife ::::
@meggyme Good luck at the interview! It’s super hard to look professional while this pregnant. I am barely presentable most days, let alone professional!
@meggyme good luck! And ya, I’m with you on not wanting to buy anything more at this point... and trying to look put together at this point either turns out kind of frumpy or makes me look super pregnant (I mean... 31 weeks is super pregnant, but still)!
@meggyme good luck! I’m with you and everyone else on not wanting to invest much more into the clothes at this point! Barely anything I have fits or is long enough now.
@meggyme good luck with your interview! I am also in the rotating clothes/none of my maternity stuff fits stage. I remember last time getting this far and thinking I understand why people wear moo moos and can I just wear pjs from now on?! LoL
@meggyme good luck with your interview!!...and I understand your pain, i am definitely out of pants options of my own wardrobe, and being that it is constantly 30-40 degrees F, and my office is always cold has made it very pleasant trying to be warm and comfortable at all times. I think my last time around my mom bought me a lot of maternity work/jeans she caught on sale, but i have just been wearing a lot of dresses. I definitely need more tights/leggings
@purpleteacher82 How has returning to work after the break been treating you? It’s been a real struggle bus for me most days haha. I was thinking of you and your Firsties so I just wanted to check in on you.
Anyone else have concerns about pumping at work? My pump just came in, which started me thinking about it.
My concern: my supervisor is notorious for meetings that run late. And we're talking really, really late. For a particularly bad example, a few weeks ago he scheduled a meeting from 1-3 pm that actually didn't wrap up until 5:15 -- and the only reason it did was because one of my colleagues spoke up that she had to leave to go pick up her kids.
This time wasting (we go off topic A LOT) is annoying when I'm trying to meet my deadlines, but I'm assuming it will be an even bigger problem when I need to pump.
Even if I block off my calendar to pump, I know I'm going to have to be prepared to speak up in meetings to excuse myself, because with the number of meetings scheduled and the rate at which they run long, it's bound to be an issue.
I'd like to avoid talking about expressing milk from my breasts mid-meeting with my 60-something year old male boss who has never had kids, especially in front of an audience/full meeting. (And I can't just say I have another meeting. In the past, when I've had to excuse myself for another work-related meeting, he's asked what the other meeting is, so he could determine which is "more important" for me to attend.)
@heytherefriend You could talk to him about it in advance. It will be awkward, but anything relating to nursing and old men is. Maybe "I have another meeting" could be code for I'll be back in 20-40 minutes. Or just let him know that you don't want to be a distraction but when you need to pump, you NEED to do it. That way if you have to get up and walk out of the room, he will already know why and won't question it in the moment.
DD1: June '16 DD2: March ‘19 :::: Married since 2011 :::: USN Wife ::::
Agree with @meggyme, talk about it in advance and remind him about it on your first day back to work (or ahead if you’ll be in communication). My experience has been that men (and even women who don’t value breastfeeding) are really uncomfortable (sometimes childish) about it but mostly afraid of taking a misstep. Use that to your advantage! There is no reason for you to announce to a roomful of people *why* you have to leave, “excuse me, I need to leave” should be sufficient at any time, but definitely for pumping. There will be some judgmental jerks but let it roll off your back, you’re doing important work to feed your baby!
Also- that kind of meeting run-over time is outrageous and extremely inconsiderate to everyone. Worth bringing up separately, IMO.
Me: 30 DH: 31 Married: 2012 BFP #1 Sept 2014, MMC Dec 2014 | BFP #2 May 2015, DD Jan 2016 | BFP #3 May 2017, MC July 2017 | BFP #4 Jan 2018, MC Feb 2018 | BFP #5 July 2018, fingers crossed
@heytherefriend I agree with @meggyme I would talk to him beforehand and explain that if things run over you will need to leave the meeting for a period of time. Just say it's your scheduled time to pump, you don't need to explain further. That way you don't need to explain in the meeting, you can just get up and do your thing and come back. I mean if you had to pee, would you just wait out the meeting?! Nope.
I haven't even thought out how I'm going to make this pumping at work thing work for me. I stayed home last time and barely used my pump. This time I'll be back in the office at least a couple days a week for the first 6 months. I see clients on the hour, every hour and I need to find a creative way to stick like 30 minutes in there without blocking a whole hour because that would be like losing 2 clients a day.
Re: Pregnant and Working
AFM, I was lucky to be in CA with my last pregnancy and could take the month before my due date off work without it affecting my maternity leave on the back end. This time in VA I barely get any pay through company STDI so I plan to work as long as I can. That said, I’m hoping maybe starting in March I will be in a position to work from home just for my own comfort. I’m due March 20 and went 10 days late last time. I’ve already switched to exclusively office work and have WFH once or twice already so hopefully I can work that out.
reason not to and I am assuming it will be physically difficult at that point. Luckily, I have been blessed with a wonderful class this year. Hopefully, they will take it easy on me. 😉
Yeah I will try to work Dec atleast. Hopefully I don't have another dizziness episode.
ETA: it’s probably written that way for other medical leave purposes like a surgery. Delivery is obviously less predictable than that and most employers understand and can be flexible.
my students are working and I am roaming around helping, redirecting, etc. I just tend to be a very “active” teacher and that’s a hard habit to break! 🙂
I have ever had, so I’m defintitely sad about leaving them, but it also makes me comfortable leaving them with someone else for the remainder of the year.
June 2016 - CP
2017 - Medicated Cycles & IUI's
IVF w/ PGS - January 2018
FET #1 - April 2018 - BFN
ERA Cycle May / June 2018
ERA Biopsy June 2018 ~ Results: receptive (no change)
FET #2 - July 2018 - BFP
U/S #1 7wk1d - HB 144 U/S #2 9w1d HB 166
Anatomy Scan 1st 11/2/18 2nd AS 11/19
EDD March 28, 2019
Baby Girl born 3/26/19
[spoiler=TW in signature]
Me: 36, DH 37.
August 2014- 6w MMC
July 2015- CP
PCOS, plus some medical issues that make me high risk.
Our rainbow babies are due 3/21!!!!!
[/spoiler]
Married: 2016
BFP #1 4/23/18, blighted ovum 5/29/18
BFP#2 7/14/18, DS 4/5/19
I am also in the rotating clothes/none of my maternity stuff fits stage. I remember last time getting this far and thinking I understand why people wear moo moos and can I just wear pjs from now on?! LoL
My concern: my supervisor is notorious for meetings that run late. And we're talking really, really late. For a particularly bad example, a few weeks ago he scheduled a meeting from 1-3 pm that actually didn't wrap up until 5:15 -- and the only reason it did was because one of my colleagues spoke up that she had to leave to go pick up her kids.
This time wasting (we go off topic A LOT) is annoying when I'm trying to meet my deadlines, but I'm assuming it will be an even bigger problem when I need to pump.
Even if I block off my calendar to pump, I know I'm going to have to be prepared to speak up in meetings to excuse myself, because with the number of meetings scheduled and the rate at which they run long, it's bound to be an issue.
I'd like to avoid talking about expressing milk from my breasts mid-meeting with my 60-something year old male boss who has never had kids, especially in front of an audience/full meeting. (And I can't just say I have another meeting. In the past, when I've had to excuse myself for another work-related meeting, he's asked what the other meeting is, so he could determine which is "more important" for me to attend.)
Ugh ... any ideas?
My experience has been that men (and even women who don’t value breastfeeding) are really uncomfortable (sometimes childish) about it but mostly afraid of taking a misstep. Use that to your advantage!
There is no reason for you to announce to a roomful of people *why* you have to leave, “excuse me, I need to leave” should be sufficient at any time, but definitely for pumping.
There will be some judgmental jerks but let it roll off your back, you’re doing important work to feed your baby!
Also- that kind of meeting run-over time is outrageous and extremely inconsiderate to everyone. Worth bringing up separately, IMO.
Married: 2012
BFP #1 Sept 2014, MMC Dec 2014 | BFP #2 May 2015, DD Jan 2016