Weekly Chat/Randoms 12/3

mamaqdubu · December 2018

Now that this board has calmed down a bit (to complete silence), let's see if there's anyone out there who wants to chat?

GTKY: What has been your favorite place to vacation? Where is your vacation bucket list?

Any other discussion/conversation else goes too, just figured I'd put a conversation starter out there.

jackie_dunny · December 2018

Yeah it seems as though that thread got deleted completely 🤔

I’m not sure if I have a favourite. I love travelling and I’ve been to many places (16 different countries) and I don’t think it’ll ever be enough 😂 it’s one of the main reasons we’re putting off TTC actually.

In some wonderful news: my husband and I just picked out our puppy and were so in love! His name is Frank and he’s 75% back lab, 25% border collie. He’s one month today so we can’t take him home yet, not until 22 December and we CANNOT wait. This should definitely tame my baby fever for quite some time.

mamaqdubu · December 2018

yeah the full delete... that's a new one to me. I've seen them closed, I don't think deleted?

Anyways, for my favorite vacation it's probably been the cruises we've gone on. I know a lot of people hate cruises, but I love to go see various countries, stay in the same room, have reasons to get dressed up at night. Always something to do, something to eat, and somewhere to relax! *TW current children* I'd love to take my boys on a Disney cruise someday because I've heard great feedback for all ages *end TW*

@jackie_dunsford That is such a wonderful family addition!!! Congrats! And we similarly got a dog before TTC. He's now 5 and still acts like a puppy haha. Ours is a Goldendoodle named Dante. Do you think you will bring him along to travel? Or will you board in a kennel, have a dog sitter?

jackie_dunny · December 2018

@mamaqdubu DH and I are HUGE Disney fans so it’s one of our dreams to do a Disney cruise! He’s never done a cruise period so he doesn’t understand how amazing they are!

When we travel, we’ll leave him with family or friends all of whom have had dogs before or currently have them now.

hopeful207 · December 2018

Hopefully I can join in here without things exploding again. I have just been lurking since that thread was deleted.

@jackie_dunsford That puppy is super cute!

Favorite vacations so far have been Ireland and Nova Scotia. Actually, they are a bit similar in that they are both a bit cool and foggy and very very green with a lot of coastal areas. I love all the old architecture in Ireland though. Some of those old churches are absolutely awe-inspiring, and same with the old castles converted into hostels. One had a huge communal dining room with stone floors and radiant heating. It was bliss. The Olympic Peninsula was incredible, too. Probably my favorite natural spot so far, or tied with NS.

Vacation bucket list: Alaska, Hawaii, Iceland, Switzerland, Greece/Rome, Whales, Argentina (Mendoza), North Pole, Egypt, and probably a bunch of others that I'm forgetting.

I have never been on a cruise, but would definitely like to. The ones where everything is included sound awesome, but the ones where you are racking up a bill during sound stressful. It seems like it would be a great way to see a few different international destinations in one go.

mamaqdubu · December 2018

@hopeful207 those sound like amazing places! Also FWIW I’ve heard that Alaskan cruises are some of the best! I’m supposed to go to Iceland in 2020 for a friend’s wedding, that is if I’m not home pregnant or with a newborn. We will see.

*TW discussion on living children* Also, just as a BOTB themed chat, how are you guys handling not TTC right now? The holidays bring up so much thinking about family. Thanksgiving was 3 years since we found out about DS1. In addition I have good friends who just had a baby, one due in Dec, one due in Jan, and one due in Feb. plus our best friends just announced too and she’s due in June. The constant baby-talk has given me such baby fever and it’s hard to let it just lay low

hopeful207 · December 2018

@mamaqdubu An Alaskan cruise sounds unbelievably picturesque! I will definitely look into that at some point in the future.

Iceland 2020 might be a great opportunity to see the northern lights of you end up going

I have seen and heard about people traveling either during a low-risk pregnancy or with a young child with varying success. While young children seem to do poorly on planes, their sense of wonder can be totally opened up and taken advantage of (in a good way) by a new atmosphere. My cousin and her husband have a 2.5 and 5 year old (both adorable little girls with great temperaments) and they go on multiple camper vacations every year together as a family, and I believe have been doing so all the way through with minimal breaks as needed. Of course, as it gets closer you will be better able to better feel out your personal situation and whether it seems like a viable option for your personal circumstances.

ETA tag

hopeful207 · December 2018

@mamaqdubu As for the second question, I'm doing pretty well with the wait. I have been focusing on my physical and psychological health and waiting for my cycles to become regular again.

That is so many babies for your friends to be having so close together! I understand how that could be hard to see while you are trying to be patient about the wait.

ETA tag

jackie_dunny · December 2018

@hopeful207 great selections! The only places I’ve been to on that list are Greece and Rome and both are INCREDIBLE! But as someone who lives about 20 minutes from Wales* and works with a few Welsh people, don’t call it whales 😂 they’ll kick off lol *just messing around with you, not trying to be judgy lol*

@mamaqdubu wow that must be so hard 🙁 announcements left and right. I don’t think I’m surrounded by it nearly as much as you. In fact, even with my year+ wait, I’ll still probably be the first of all my siblings and all of our friends.

hopeful207 · December 2018

@jackie_dunsford Oops, that was my mistake. I actually know people from there, too (on another forum), so I really should know better. With you living around there, I am so tempted to ask. Do you generally speak and type in vastly different vernacular, and if so what's that like?

jackie_dunny · December 2018

@hopeful207 yeah I definitely do. I haven’t picked up the full accent and most likely never will but my inflection has definitely changed. I don’t notice it and no one here notices it but when I go back home to the US my whole family is like “stop talking like that” and people have said “I’m confused by your accent, are you American or English?” I’ve definitely picked up the lingo as in I say jumper instead of sweater and crisps instead of chips and chips instead of fries, and so on. It’s funny, I feel like I speak two different languages because when I talk to my American friends and family I go back to saying sweater or chips or fries so they’ll understand me 😂 or when they visit I’ll translate for them. I’ve started typing more things the British way as well (Ex. Colour or centre) because of my emails at work. That red squiggly “you spelt it wrong” line comes up.

Also! In other news! I can’t believe the timing. Just yesterday I said “no one in my life is having kids anytime soon” and I come home from work to my sister-in-law having driven the two hours from London to come see us because she had some “big news” 😂 I knew right away. She didn’t even have to say. You’re the first to know outside of my husband and my in-laws so 🤫! I recommended TB to her but she didn’t want “an American app” 😂 she’s already got 4 anyway. I’m just nervous for her because she’s only 6 weeks along, it’s her first missed period, and she hasn’t gone to the doctor yet to confirm, just relying on her 4 BFPs at the moment. FX for her though!

Anddddd end super long post.

hopeful207 · December 2018

@jackie_dunsford Thanks for answering.

Yeah totally makes sense. I didn't notice any part of the accent until you said "kick off", lol. I have been known to spell humour and flavour in the UK method. I also automatically change crisps and chips to chips and fries in my head when talking to friends from the UK. I think you might be able to change a setting in your spell check so the dictionary will be in UK english instead of US english, but I could be mistaken.

Wow yeah definitely strange timing. On one hand, congrats to her, and FX it sticks (personally I would be tempted not to announce until second tri). But on the other hand, I'm sorry that it is going to make the wait that much more difficult for you.

jackie_dunny · December 2018

@hopeful207 Yeah I already have it set to U.K. English. I meant I automatically type center or color and I get the little squiggly line in my emails at work lol

It hasn’t made the wait difficult for me but I did have one concern and I was wondering if any lurkers or you ladies could help me with this. I’m obviously so excited for her and I know when my time comes, everyone will be excited for DH and I but part of me wonders are people going to be AS excited because it’s not the first? Like, my in-laws are all excited about choosing their names (is she gonna be nana or gran? Is he gonna be grandpa or grandad, etc.) and by the time our LO comes around, they’ll already have their names. They’ll already be used to being grandparents. My concern is: is this normal? For me to be worried that the excitement of the first isn’t going to be AS exciting as ours? Like I said, I know they’re still going to be absolutely buzzing and overjoyed but some of that “first time” charm will be gone. Is it normal to think this?

I think it doesn’t help that out of all my siblings (6 of us and now 7 with my SIL), I was the first to do a lot (first to move out, first to get married, first to get a house) so I guess I got a little spoiled in being used to being the first lol

mamaqdubu · December 2018

@jackie_dunsford I know where you are coming from for sure! On my side of the family, I’m the first for everything (including children), so in that way I can’t relate. But I know DH struggles with it a bit because we have a nephew on his side of the family that’s older. His sister lived with his parents when our nephew was an infant —>9yrs old and just recently moved out, so in some ways DH feels like his parents are over the grand baby thing since they not only have one but lived with one and took so much responsibility for him.

I have to say for me personally I interrogated and evaluated these family dynamics a lot before my first was born, but now I don’t because my immediate family (the 2 kiddos and DH and me) come first. The rest of the extended family is wonderful and I enjoy my time with them, but I found it was really hard to balance what was fair, or normal, or what how I envisioned those relationships should be. It’s probably selfish, but it’s one of the only mechanisms I have to keep my sanity when daily life gets tough and complicated!

jackie_dunny · December 2018

@mamaqdubu wow that must be so annoying for your H! That’s such a better way of thinking about it though, not worrying about the excitement of your extended family but focusing on your immediate family and your and your H’s excitement. Plus like I said, it’s not like they’re going to be like, “oh, I’ve seen one of those before, NEXT!” 😂 they’re still going to be very excited.

hopeful207 · December 2018

@jackie_dunsford I can only speak for my family, but 2 of my 3 younger siblings already have accidental children and I dont think it will detract at all from when I have kids. If anything, I think my parents are even more eagerly awaiting my offspring since my niece and nephew were born.

In general, I think grandparents tend to dote on whoever is the youngest, so if anything it could be more about who has the last kid rather than who has the first kid.

Also, it will likely depend on the characters and other characteristics of the child themselves. If they are cute and fun to be around, they will likely get more (positive) attention than a cousin who is spoiled or bratty. And waiting and planning gives you a better opportunity to be prepared and educated and ready to raise the best child possible, rather than just the first one

Hope that helps

lulu1180 · December 2018

*lurking*
@jackie_dunsford I can only speak to what I have experienced, but my parents have been absolutely overjoyed for each and every grandchild. I will admit, that the first grandson and first granddaughter have a special place in my mom's heart but she still loves and dotes on all of them as equally as she can. And when/if I am ever able to get pregnant, they will be just as excited for my child(ren) and possibly moreso in my case because they know about my struggle to get pregnant. Yes, they may already have the name they want to be called picked out but it doesn't mean that it lessens the excitement, I think it only increases it because they have a taste of what being a grandparent/aunt/uncle/whatever is like.

jackie_dunny · December 2018

All great points (: thanks everyone!

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