GTKY Poll: Where do you fall in the birth order?

misskimsue · November 2018

And if anyone is interested in discussing... How do you think your position in the birth order has affected you? Has it impacted your family planning or parenting style?

kvh22 · November 2018

I'm the middle of 3 and want 3 kids. I absolutely adore DD but my mom is a middle and she and I are so close that I knew I wanted a middle child. That probably sounds horrible. I just like the dynamic and camaraderie of 3 (even though my sister is 6 years younger than me). I'm the first girl so no classic middle child syndrome but I do like everyone to get along and I'm less entrepreneurial than most oldests (the thought of starting my own business is just...why would I want to do that?). I'm also very independent - middle children are the most likely to move away from home. If you couldn't tell, I find birth order fascinating. DH is a youngest/only (14 years between him and his next closest sibling) an I have so much fun analyzing that since it's somewhat unique.

k2k2tog · November 2018

I'm the baby of three. So is DH. I'm actually really nervous about having a third because I worry about our family dynamic ending up exactly like my family's dynamic. @kvh22, there was NO camaraderie in my family. We just fought constantly. My relationship with my brother (the middle) in particular was terrible. I have few to no good memories of time spent with him when I was a child. I've been nervous about history repeating itself, but I'm hopeful that, since DD2 is a girl and seems to get along fairly well with DD1, and since DH and I are much different parents than my own parents, maybe we can avoid that sort of family dynamic. But, it does worry me.

ETA to add, my relationship with my brother has improved significantly since we grew up and became adults. I'd even say we managed to become friends during university. Just - growing up with him was terrible, and I'm sure he thought growing up with me was pretty awful too.

eatinwatermelonseeds · November 2018

I am an only. I do not want my son to be an only. I used to want a large family, but when I had my son I realized I had no idea how to care for one baby, much less the 4 I wanted. As an only child, life was quiet and now I have some sensory issues that would make having a large family harder. My friend has 3 kids and it's fucking LOUD. I want to cry sometimes when they come over. So, I want 2 and we'll be done. I'm honestly not even sure how to raise 2 kids but we'll figure it out. I just know I don't want my son to deal with the crap I did as an only.

misskimsue · November 2018

@kvh22 I'm also a middle of 3 and seem to share some of the same traits as you. I am a middle child, second daughter, though, and have experienced some middle child syndrome. Mostly when I was growing up or as a teenager. Anyone remember A League of Their Own (one of my favorite movies)?

Even so, I love having two siblings, and I chose to have three of my own. I'm a little bit worried about DS2's transition to middle child, but luckily for him he is not as shy or inhibited as I was. DH is also a middle of 3, so we feel like we're in pretty familiar territory.

mrsdee15 · November 2018

I was raised as an only child, but I have a half sisters that's about 17 years older than me. We aren't close. I have always wanted a big family because of that.

kvh22 · November 2018

@k2k2tog that's funny, my brother (the oldest) and I had a really good relationship up until I was 14 and he was 17 but that was when my parents got divorced and my brother took it really hard. He stepped up a lot for us until he left for college but it was different, then he basically ignored us for a decade from ages 18-28. It was getting better but we had some major set backs with him pulling some stupid bullsh!t that I don't think I can forgive anymore so I'd say our relationship is the worst it's ever been. BUT...DH and I are not my parents at all. Well, I'm similar to my mom but DH is just so the opposite of my dad it's not even funny. And most of my issues with my brother are over his similarities with my dad (who I have a horrible relationship with). I think parenting style and then some circumstances outside of our control (tragedies, divorces, etc.) can seriously impact family dynamics. DH hated not having siblings close in age so when my brother said they were going to plan their kids 4 years apart DH said "what's the point of having a sibling that far apart?" to me later. I explained how my sister and I are 6 years apart but super close. We didn't have that "friend" growing up but it's still an amazing relationship. It's kind of similar to his relationship with his brother 14 years older but she remembers going on family vacations and stuff with us so a bit different. *end novel*

sleepy33 · November 2018

Look at all my only children brethren!

MaggieG183 · November 2018

DH and I are both oldest children which is where many of our arguments stem from - we both are very stubborn and always want to be right. I’m sure this will effect our prenting over time. We’re learning more and more how to communicate and be nice with our words and give each other the benefit of the doubt more often. With one more added to the bunch I imagine I will be more sensitive to the older sibling syndrome.

brie_and_almonds · November 2018

DH and I are both middles, and we are having three. That said, we had much different experiences being middle children. I am close with my siblings, we get together and hang out pretty regularly -- DH has siblings he's basically estranged from.

mcewen3 · November 2018

I am the oldest of two, but also the oldest-middle of four. My parents had me and my brother, then divorced. My dad remarried and stepmom had two boys from a previous marriage as well. But as the only girl I seemed to get the "oldest kid" treatment in both households, or at least special treatment in both households. DH is the youngest of two and is totally the baby.
I think both coming from families with 2 kids we had that number in our heads when we were planning our family. So it surprised us both when the thought of a 3rd kind of felt right.

eatinwatermelonseeds · November 2018

This wasn't the question, but DH is one of 6. It goes single boy, a year or two later they had twin boys, EIGHT years later, they had DH, one year later they had his brother, and a couple years after that they finally had his sister 😂 so, basically my husband and his younger brother were the "meh, we've done this already, whatever" kids and his sister was practically royalty. Poor DH really got lost in all of it. So, I don't want that many children and neither does he (though he used to want 7 😳). We had one and was like "mm... This is enough" 😂

mrskoz428 · November 2018

I have two older half-sisters from my dad’s 2nd marriage. They are 12 and 13 years older than me. I was 5 when the younger of the two moved out for college so the childhood I remember is as an only child. I became an aunt at age 6 and treated my niece more as a little sister since they lived with us for a while. My half-sisters have a half brother and sister on their mom’s side, as well. Because me eldest sister had kids young, I was constantly with those two as well. We are one big, blended, f-Ed up family and I love it. ❤️

expandcontract · November 2018

Im the baby of 4 girls. There's a huge age gap between me and the two eldest (11 & 7 yrs respectively). My third sister is 2 years older than me. SHE is the one who has the middle child syndrome. The other sisters would say Im the favorite and spoiled but actually I was abused the most by them. Especially my 3rd sister. Can I just say I do not want any more sisters? My husband is 1 of 7. He's the first boy after 3 straight girls and he IS spoiled.

knarlytaurus · November 2018

I'm the baby with two older brothers. Growing up we did our fair share of fighting, but mostly them with me (they were close friends and I was the girl and younger and always wanted to tag along). We're all very close now as adults. DH is the middle of three (older brother ,younger sister). His brother was really hard on DH and his sister, but I think it was because his brother had to be the center of attention(and still does). This will likely be our only only child which kind of makes me sad because I like having siblings. But DH is 53 and I'm 37 (38 when the LO arrives). The clock is ticking!

mrsclark731 · November 2018

Hello my fellow middle children!!!

I’m a “true middle.” I have an older sister and a younger brother. Not the oldest, nor the youngest, the only boy or the only girl. Just the second born girl

misskimsue · November 2018

@mrsclark731 I'm the same as you! I'm going to have three boys; I wonder if that's actually better for my (soon-to-be) middle child than if I'd had a girl? With DH and I both being middle children ourselves we're hoping we'll do a good job giving DS2 equal attention.

kvh22 · November 2018

@mrskoz428 your family dynamic sounds almost like DH's, except his BIL was in the military so they didn't see each other frequently enough to be close. There is a very weird dynamic between DH and his sister as well as the oldest niece (3 months older than me, <2 years younger than DH). It's all fine for the most part now, but DH used to get in trouble when his niece would lie that he'd done something she had and then she would smile about it. He is still very upset about this whole thing and he's 31!!

truth_trust · November 2018

Im the oldest of 2. My brother is 6 years younger than me. DH is the only child. So he of course wants a big family, where as I was okay with just one. We are having our 2nd child together but he already had 2 children before we got married. So in total we are at 4 kids and we plan to have 1 more if the baby that I am currently carrying isn't a boy.

shumbum · November 2018

I’m the youngest of 4 (2 girls, 2 boys), and DH is youngest of 3 (1 girl, 2 boys). He’s fairly close to his siblings, and I am extremely close to mine, even though our ages range across 13 years. What’s funny is that neither DH nor I have the personalities of a stereotypical baby of the family. We both hate to be the center of attention and have always been the non-rebellious and easy going ones in our families. I always find birth order and sibling dynamics so interesting!

jkduer · November 2018

I’m an only child. There was a lot about growing up an only child that was great, but as an adult with aging parents I find it quite lonely. I do think I’m more outgoing and extroverted because I had to make friends on vacations, outings, etc. I also made up for a lack siblings by having a very close group of friends - we have all been friends for over 22 years now. I’d like to have more than one child - hopefully that happens!

eatinwatermelonseeds · November 2018

@jkduer I did the same with friends. I'm by no means extroverted. I'm probably a little weird, but not the typical "oh she's definitely an only child" weird that I've seen before 😂 but my closest friends have been in my life for almost 20 years now. We still talk regularly.

jkduer · November 2018

@eatinwatermelonseeds I am definitely weird. I didn’t realize I do a lot of things at home that are “weird” until I went to college and had roommates. No one has pegged me as an only child so I guess my weirdness just screams weird and not only child weird, too.

eatinwatermelonseeds · November 2018

@jkduer there was a girl in my cohort who was just super quiet and awkward. So so sweet, but I just knew she was an only child. Once she said she was, I was just like yup, thought so.

tribemom5 · November 2018

Oldest of 2 and pregnant with baby 5! Always wanted a big family

kvh22 · November 2018

@shumbum hmm interesting. I don't think of rebellious as a youngest trait and the center of attention thing I think of for onlies, but when I read the birth order book, I had DH and my sister in mind and neither of them are at all rebellious and they're absolutely not people who want to be the center of attention, either, so maybe I just glossed over those without realizing it. None of the youngests I know are like that, thank god.

wishiwaspreggo · November 2018

I'm the youngest of 3 (2 older brothers). We're all about 2 years apart. Even though we had plenty of fights, I'm glad I grew up with siblings. As an adult I appreciate them more. I think my parents expected us to fight (they fought with their siblings a lot too) so they never tried to intervene or help us get along. But we did have fun together with the neighborhood kids and I subbed when my brothers needed an extra in Magic the Gathering.

I'll have 3 total but it's hard to say who the middle will be

one twin will technically be born minutes before the other so that will be the middle child. But can a twin truly feel like a middle child, I wonder? It'll be interesting to see the dynamics as they grow up. I am glad I'm having twins because typically they have a close relationship. And I'm happy my son will have them (even though he's fairly bitter right now and insists he wants to be an only child). He'll be happy when W and I are old and he won't be solely responsible for seeing to our elder care, at the very least. But I'm hopeful he'll have happy childhood memories with them too.

missy052819 · November 2018

I'm the baby of the family, however my brother and I are only 14 months apart. We fought a lot growing up but we do much better now. He was diagnosed with MS about 3 years ago & I was the lucky soul that got to be by his side during that because our parents were on a cruise.

My bf is the baby, he has two older sisters, 4 & 8 years older. We're close with the oldest sister because she lives here in MD, his other sister lives in Washington state,so we regularly text as much as possible. It would be super fantastic if they could move to the east coast.

GTKY Poll: Where do you fall in the birth order?

GTKY Poll: Where do you fall in the birth order? 61 votes

Re: GTKY Poll: Where do you fall in the birth order?

Choose Another Board

Search Boards