SIL posted a thing about not going to see family at Christmas if it isn't good for your mental health. I know they had a bad experience going to her family's for Christmas a few years ago and it's not really directed at us (I think) but it's just shitty. She was pretty upset the first year she didn't go home for Christmas (they live in Virgina, she's from Montana, my mom is in NH, so they came to NH). I think it's hard for her to be with our family and not hers even though she has problems with both of her parents who are divorced. They don't go anywhere for Christmas anymore (okay, fine) but that's when we go home. They prioritize going for Thanksgiving because my brother cares more about his friends than family and people go out the Wednesday night before Thanksgiving in our town. It's a huge lift for us to do Thanksgiving instead of Christmas - just as much money for less time and my mom's work schedule is crazy, plus my sister isn't off of school like she is at Christmas but we were going to do it this year because there is no other way to meet our nephew. Cue me getting put on modified bedrest and I just can't sacrifice the safety of this baby to try to accommodate their inflexibility every year (toddler + stroller + carseat + 2 suitcases for 3 ppl cannot equal me not lifting more than 20 lbs on cross country flights). Her mat leave ends Dec 28 and she would give anything to be a SAHM but she still has over $100k of student loan debt so they cannot afford it at all. I get this and it's hard to be around other people right before going back to work and having to leave your baby. There's a lot of reasons for them not to go *this* year but past years it has been the same without all of this stuff going on and it's dumb IMO. Basically, if your family follows you on social media, don't post something like that. It's rude and offensive, even if it's how you feel.
@kvh22 that's incredibly rude of her to post something like that. Even if she's not directing it at your family, you're left wondering in the back of your mind who exactly she's talking about. Also, IMO it says a lot about someone who talks bad about their family on social media.
With that said, my FIL is really pissing me off but it's ok for me to talk about my family here cuzyou guys don't know him, right? He has a habit of taking a bunch of fruits on a plate, with a knife, and sitting on the ground in front of the tv cutting and eating all the fruits. I must have told him a thousand times not to do that because 1. The living room is not the place to chop fruits, it's messy. Go in the kitchen or sit at the dining table. 2. Most importantly, safety. My daughter LOVES fruits so when he does this, she gets super excited and comes and sits so close to him while he's cutting away. The girl doesn't sit still. She literally gets so excited eating fruits she'll dance and jump all around. Well, FIL COMPLETELY ignored me and just sits down doing his business. At this point im yelling at him. He just puts his hand up and says "it's ok it's ok. " I was absolutely furious but i bit my tongue and called my husband who was in the kitchen to come take care of it. Did FIL listen? No. I just stood there watching him the whole time until he finished and got up. I didn't get a chance to talk to my husband last night, but i told him this morning that FIL has outstayed his welcome and to send him back by next week. Look, I get that it's a cultural difference and also he's older so he thinks he knows what he's doing and I'm just an over protective mother. But you know what, I don't care how big your ego is, you do not fuck with the safety of my family. I asked him nicely soooo many times, I can't even tell you. The way he acted was absolutely disrespectful. To top it off, my MIL kept telling me "don't get mad don't get mad. It's not good for the baby. " WTAF? You don't get to just do whatever you want and expect me to not get mad. It's not like I'm making a scene because i have nothing better to do. Ugh. Im still livid about this!
@expandcontract haha yes I say things about MIL, brother, and SIL on here all the time. This is not social media Also, WTF to cutting fruit while sitting on the floor next to a toddler AND if your MIL is worried you getting mad is bad for the baby, she should tell her husband to LISTEN to you in your own house.
@expandcontract WHO does that?! That's so annoying. I'm sorry, that would piss me off too. WTH is his problem? Just cut your dang fruit in the kitchen. Not that hard. Normal people do it every day.
@expandcontract as someone that almost lost a finger in a kitchen knife incident, I find this story extremely disturbing! Why??? Just cut it in the kitchen.
This is totally silly, but I went for the ultrasound that the clinic here wanted so desperately. The ultrasound tech had me measuring exactly 1 week ahead, 13w6d instead of 12w6d. I'm really quite certain of my dates. While I wasn't tracking my ovulation super closely, I have in the past and usually O a couple days later than what would be "normal" for a 28 day cycle (which I have). Add in the fact that it would have been virtually impossible for me to get pregnant an entire week earlier simply based on summer holidays and me and the kids leaving early so that I could attend the funeral of one of my good friend's mom. DH stayed behind because he had plans that would have been expensive to change and its pretty hard to get KU when you are two provinces away from each other. None of this would be that big of a deal except I have very carefully planned our Easter travel to get me home by 35w5d so I wasn't past that 36 week threshold to fly. Now my flight home has me flying at 36w5d. I'm going to bring it up at my prenatal tomorrow. I don't know what the airlines require, if anything, but I want to get ahead of this if I need some kind of travel note.
Speaking of which, has anyone needed a travel note from their Dr confirming how far along they are in order to fly? I flew for my Opa's funeral when I was around 30ish (I think...) weeks pregnant and don't think I needed anything. But I don't know if thats the norm and wouldn't want to get stuck not being allowed on a flight because I look too pregnant to board.
@mcewen3 The doctor offered to write me a note when I considered flying in my 3rd trimester but I forget how far along I was (maybe 32 weeks? - and edited b/c of a typo). Also, we were measuring right on at 8 weeks, ahead by a day at 10+2, and ahead by 2 days at 12 weeks. At the 12 week scan, the doctor said either 6 days or a week of fluctuation was normal at that point. I forget which. They won't necessarily move your date since you're that far along (even if it's 6 days of fluctuation at 12 weeks, by 12+6, they should allow 7 days of fluctuation without moving it, right?). I was tracking and we looked at my chart but if you tell your doctor that it was literally impossible for you to have conceived early enough to be 13+6 due to being away from your husband, a reasonable doc should listen to you.
@mcewen3 my SIL had to fly past 36 weeks because of a funeral. She was required to have a dr’s note stating how far along she was and that she was okay to fly. I don’t know that many airlines will let you fly that late. She was lucky to be able to fly Southwest and I believe they are one of the most lienant when it comes to flying that late. But you are in Canada though right? And they only in the states I think.
Ivy: July 2010 | Stella: Dec 2012 | BFP#3: MMC at 11Wk's, July 2017 | Wyatt: April 2019 | BFP#5: Twin Girls due Sept 2020
@kvh22 thanks. I'm hoping so. The maternal care kind of just re-opened in town very recently due to the hospital being to understaffed prior to now. They seem to be acting overly cautious and by-the-book which is why I'm a bit nervous as to how she'll handle it. I'm going to discuss everything at length tomorrow with my doctor, including delivering somewhere else since the lab tech today seemed shocked that I was actually planning to deliver here and she made a comment about how "oh, well I hope we still have enough staff in the spring for you to do that." I'm low-risk and really a pretty low maintenance patient overall so I don't want to switch if its not necessary. If everyone keeps going elsewhere they will never be able to keep offering it here, but at the same time I don't want to have to switch last minute if they are really running so close to short that its a very real possibility.
@mcewen3 Definitely bring it up with your doctor and try to get him/her to keep your due date from your LMP. I think ultrasound measurements are not as accurate for dating as far along as you are, and if the date the measurement shows is literally impossible, the doctor should listen to you. Call the airline to see what their policy is. They might have a clear cut-off at 36 weeks or they might let you come on with a note. Probably best to get a note as backup anyway. I've traveled pregnant a few times, but always before 30 weeks, and was never asked about it.
@robyn2201 I am in Canada. I'll have to check, but I think I'm on WestJet there, Air Canada coming home just because I didn't want any connecting flights and that's what was available. Those are pretty much our only two options😂 My girlfriend works for WJ as a flight attendant so I may pick her brain about it too to see what the usual protocol is
@mcewen3 I’m confused by your post — did they actually change your due date? Or are you just measuring ahead? I’ve been measuring a week ahead on each of my 3 ultrasounds so far and they didn’t change my due date. The further along you get the less accurate they are for dating, anyway.
I flew when pregnant with twins (two babies, two placentas, and polyhydramnios so extra amniotic fluid) — trust me, I looked more than 36 weeks pregnant very early on. No one said a word, but I understand those things can be decided on a whim of a flight attendant. I really wouldn’t worry about it though.
@anonellis my dates haven't been officially changed but her exact words after taking the measurements were "well, you're measuring exactly 13w6d instead of the 12w6d you should be, so I'd expect Dr. XYZ will formally change your due date to May 21 tomorrow at your appt".
Thanks for the reassurance everybody. I have actually heard that before about ultrasounds this late being less accurate for dating, so I may use that as my argument if she really does try to move my date. I let the panic set in before I really thought it through. I've just been worrying about my silly flight ever since we left the clinic, which I realistically could change to make my holiday shorter but I really don't want to if I don't have to. My other two babies have been late, and I have always felt pretty good up to the end of my pregnancy so I have no hesitations about flying that late, I just also don't want to be the rule bender or the one who goes against medical advice.
I totally get it — I have to deliver in week 36 so I’m also sensitive about dates being slightly off, because at that stage each day spent still pregnant makes a difference for the baby. I’m positive of the date I would have conceived (although it’s possible you could implant later — like you could ovulate a couple days after you had sex and still get pregnant — but I only had sex one time in a three week period due to travel), and I get frustrated when I know they’re wrong.
Also — maybe this is rude, but I don’t trust a word the ultrasound techs say. They give me wrong information all the time about what the doctors will do/say. They aren’t doctors and don’t know as much as they often think they do (this isn’t a general knock on ultrasound techs — I’m sure some are lovely — but I have had many be super condescending to me and then turn out to be wrong).
I’m just cranky because my back fucking hurts. I think I’m getting another UTI. My left kidney feels like it’s going to explode and I’ve peed 6 times today while only drinking about 40 oz of fluid. I never feel like I’m done going when I do go. Thank goodness I have an appointment Friday
Re: Monday Bitchfest
With that said, my FIL is really pissing me off but it's ok for me to talk about my family here cuzyou guys don't know him, right?
He has a habit of taking a bunch of fruits on a plate, with a knife, and sitting on the ground in front of the tv cutting and eating all the fruits. I must have told him a thousand times not to do that because
1. The living room is not the place to chop fruits, it's messy. Go in the kitchen or sit at the dining table.
2. Most importantly, safety. My daughter LOVES fruits so when he does this, she gets super excited and comes and sits so close to him while he's cutting away. The girl doesn't sit still. She literally gets so excited eating fruits she'll dance and jump all around.
Well, FIL COMPLETELY ignored me and just sits down doing his business. At this point im yelling at him. He just puts his hand up and says "it's ok it's ok. "
I was absolutely furious but i bit my tongue and called my husband who was in the kitchen to come take care of it. Did FIL listen? No. I just stood there watching him the whole time until he finished and got up.
I didn't get a chance to talk to my husband last night, but i told him this morning that FIL has outstayed his welcome and to send him back by next week.
Look, I get that it's a cultural difference and also he's older so he thinks he knows what he's doing and I'm just an over protective mother. But you know what, I don't care how big your ego is, you do not fuck with the safety of my family.
I asked him nicely soooo many times, I can't even tell you. The way he acted was absolutely disrespectful.
To top it off, my MIL kept telling me "don't get mad don't get mad. It's not good for the baby. "
WTAF? You don't get to just do whatever you want and expect me to not get mad. It's not like I'm making a scene because i have nothing better to do. Ugh. Im still livid about this!
ETA: Some words because I wasnt making sense.
Speaking of which, has anyone needed a travel note from their Dr confirming how far along they are in order to fly? I flew for my Opa's funeral when I was around 30ish (I think...) weeks pregnant and don't think I needed anything. But I don't know if thats the norm and wouldn't want to get stuck not being allowed on a flight because I look too pregnant to board.
I flew when pregnant with twins (two babies, two placentas, and polyhydramnios so extra amniotic fluid) — trust me, I looked more than 36 weeks pregnant very early on. No one said a word, but I understand those things can be decided on a whim of a flight attendant. I really wouldn’t worry about it though.
Thanks for the reassurance everybody. I have actually heard that before about ultrasounds this late being less accurate for dating, so I may use that as my argument if she really does try to move my date. I let the panic set in before I really thought it through. I've just been worrying about my silly flight ever since we left the clinic, which I realistically could change to make my holiday shorter but I really don't want to if I don't have to. My other two babies have been late, and I have always felt pretty good up to the end of my pregnancy so I have no hesitations about flying that late, I just also don't want to be the rule bender or the one who goes against medical advice.
Also — maybe this is rude, but I don’t trust a word the ultrasound techs say. They give me wrong information all the time about what the doctors will do/say. They aren’t doctors and don’t know as much as they often think they do (this isn’t a general knock on ultrasound techs — I’m sure some are lovely — but I have had many be super condescending to me and then turn out to be wrong).