why my pregnant self is seeing red

batmama31 · October 2018

I had such a cruddy day today!! and I couldn't shake the funk. first, I had this painfully insatiable hunger that couldn't be satisfied b/c the little mini café at work was sold out of hearty, warm breakfast sandwiches by 9am. then I shared what I thought was a funny political drawing to a group of friends via text and NO ONE got the joke. (I think it's fucking brilliant, but b/c it's political, I won't share it here.) and the anger from this just fueled my outrage for a poorly run lean six sigma event I was forced to sit in & which ended in a bunch of bullshit "corrective actions" that isn't going to solve shit.

but halfway thru the day, when I got down to the root cause of my bad mood, I thought, "yep. totally pregnant." what a stupid thing to be in a bad mood over!

kangstadt · October 2018

@batmama31, on a good day I get super angry and grumpy when I'm hungry. Now being pregnant it's like I should stick a post-it note on my forehead that says "stay the f*** away," if I haven't eaten every like, two hours.

Hopefully your weekend goes better! I feel your pain.

MeridethKimble · October 2018

Hope the weekend is better @batmama31! Nothing worse than other people when you're pregnant.

batmama31 · October 2018

thanks, @kangstadt & @MeridethKimble! this appetite I've been having is new territory for me. I had virtually no appetite w/ my first pregnancy. (no morning sickness, either.) my son came out full-term, weighing 5lbs 8oz. so I'm totally convinced I'm going to give birth to a sumo baby this time around

ashtuesday · October 2018

@batmama31 Before your post, I fully thought Six Sigma was just a thing made up on 30 Rock 😆

mariposa_767s · October 2018

I've been super ragey this pregnancy. The other day, I called my 20 yr old step son an asshole because he took his sister to ChickFilA (pre-planed outing) and didn't bring anyone else (mainly me, let's be honest) back anything. I felt awful afterwards but it's par for the course this pregnancy.

kangstadt · October 2018

@mariposa_767s, I mean, at least it was your 20 year old son. I've called my 4yo son an asshole (not to his face yet, but I've been tempted a few times...).

batmama31 · October 2018

@mariposa_767s, I say that's very characteristic of a textbook asshole.

mariposa_767s · October 2018

@batmama31 I thought so, but his dad didn't agree. I might've had the bitch turned on extra high though

sheknows6 · October 2018

Yet another school shooting this morning, at a local high school just outside city limits that is considered one of the best in terms of safety and curriculum.

This stuff absolutely breaks my heart as much as it makes me angry. I don't want to worry that I'll lose my daughter because she went to school and got shot. How many of our kids have to get hurt before we pass common sense gun laws?

batmama31 · October 2018

@sheknows6, that shit is so infuriating. I share your same fears. a friend's daughter just started kindergarten this year & she posted something on fb shortly after the school year started that sent chills down my spine: her daughter came home & told her she "did good in the bad guy drill."

sheknows6 · October 2018

ugh that is heartbreaking @batmama31

mariposa_767s · October 2018

@batmama31 it is so heartbreaking that it's one of the first drills they learn. My son has talked about it as well and it's a tough conversation.
@sheknows6 I read they resumed classes only hours afterwards!! WTF

Katty422 · November 2018

My boss last week told me that my brain is not working as hard as it was 6 months ago. I told her yes it is I have no idea what you are saying??? I wanted to punch her in the face... then she proceeded to talk about a woman she worked with who did not remember her own name while pregnant. She said and I quote" like how it took you 12 seconds to answer my question instead of five seconds. And yes this is coming from a woman who has no children and doesn't want kids. Its obvious in the conversations we have she doesn't like kids... I told me team leader and she had a conversation with her and Hr I think yesterday bc she is now not talking to me. Haha what a BITCH!

sheepshepherdess · November 2018

@Katty422 That is horrible. Honestly, I might have gotten myself fired if it was me.

Piccola1988 · November 2018

This is petty but I still want to bitch. H said he'd like to have either meat sauce or burgers tonight (yes, weird set of choices). He grills but can't cook for shit, and even though I'm feeling like crap I said I'd make meat sauce. I started cooking and DS needed me so I asked H to tend to the meat that was browning and let me know when it was almost done. I heard metal utensils when I had been using a wooden spoon, so I went to see what the eff H was doing and I find him draining the "fat" from the meat for a second MFing time...and by fat, of course I mean the olive oil and garlic I had it simmering in. Now it is bland and tough and I want to kill him, but he thinks I am wrong because I should have explicitly told him not to do that, since that's how he browns meat for other things, even though I have told him many times that is the wrong way. Ugh I'm just like...don't mess with my food, and don't tell me I should expect you to be incompetent.

batmama31 · November 2018

@Katty422, that is awful! it's great to hear your team lead & HR have your back, though.

@Piccola1988, I have been there when NOT pregnant. girl, I feel you! almost the same thing happened tonight. I'm making shepherd's pie, so I have the potatoes boiling, and the meat mixture going at the same time. I'm still throwing the meat mixture together & haven't checked the potatoes. so I just motion to them and ask for help. husband dumps the water, (you read that right), throws the seasonings & butter & milk in. I finish the meat mix, take over for the potatoes- and realize they are still rock hard.

what. the. fuck.

Piccola1988 · November 2018

@batmama31 that is truly something else! A little funny after the fact but I would have been so annoyed in the moment (but I guess that’s obvious based on my similar tale!).

professormama · November 2018

@Katty422 oh boy. Glad you talked to HR, but if she keeps on punishing you, you may have to talk to them again. Your boss sounds terrible.

My stomach has basically been my son’s security blanket since he stopped nursing (years ago). He loves to touch it for comfort or when he’s falling asleep, which I genuinely don’t mind. But he also CONSTANTLY pokes my belly button. I can not describe the rage this inspires in me. 3 years of belly button poking on a daily basis.... and now my belly button is already getting close to becoming an outie so it’s even more uncomfortable. I straight up yelled at him about it tonight. I don’t know how to freaking stop the poking without just telling him that he can’t touch my belly at all anymore, which is (of course) impossible now that he always wants to kiss and touch “the baby.”

lyse01 · November 2018

@Piccola1988 @batmama31 DH likes to put a pound of ground beef in a pan and turn the heat on, then walk away. No breaking it apart, no stirring, no seasoning. It chars in parts. And then break it up, put half on a plate, cover in ketchup, and five min later offer me the part that’s now sitting in congealed grease. I feel you guys.

i would really really love for us to be a couple that cooks together but it does not appear to be in the cards.

professormama · November 2018

@lyse01 @Piccola1988 @batmama31 I’m basically all y’alls husbands when it comes to the kitchen. When my husband wants me to cook something he does all the prep, sets everything out (in order of use), and gives me EXACT instructions. I usually still manage to mess it up somehow, or at least overlook the meat.

happymoni21 · November 2018

@Katty422 Happy your team lead talked to HR and I hope your boss doesn't take it out on you. Fingers crossed.

@Piccola1988 Ugh, I get it. My hubs has nothing but sheer disdain for following any recipe or cooking instruction because he "is experimental and cooks from the heart." This is code for most things he makes are gross because he has no concept of basic cooking techniques and how flavors/textures work together and then he gets grumpy when I do not want to eat his latest meat melange.

Rant: One of my best friends is being a bit of an ass****. Three of us are best friends and two years ago our shared bestie had twin daughters. We all love her girls, they are the sweetest, so much fun and honestly make my heart melt. Ass**** friend is childless by choice (very vocal how kids are the worst with the exception of shared bestie's twin girls). When the three of us found out I was pregnant, we all admitted that part of us hoped I was having a girl so that our little girl gang would grow.

Earlier this week I found out I am having a boy. I had some confusing feelings about it for a day or two, due to unrelated issues, but now I am feeling so excited for my little guy! Shared bestie with the twin girls was nothing but excited for me when I told her. However, when I told ass*** her friend her response was to text me a sad face. Then at work (she and Hubs are at the same company) she went up to my Hubs in the cafeteria and told him "I am sorry that you are having a little boy. I mean, I know any baby is a blessing but little girls are just the best aren't they?"

Who says that? She can feel whatever she wants about my baby but who thinks it is appropriate to express their own gender disappoint to the expecting parents????!!!

mrstmoose · November 2018

@happymoni21 I'd be finding a new "best" friend.

midway_mouse · November 2018

@Katty422 That seems hostile to me. Hopefully things are managed by HR and your team.

One of my friends has a pre-schooler who has a lot of behaviors. He jumps on my furniture, hits my cat, and throws things at his sister in my house. My friend is so sweet and I think she is overwhelmed with a spouse who is not helpful or supportive. I am going to their house tonight and I am bracing myself. Already, I am annoyed just thinking about past behaviors. At least it’s not my house! I don’t invite them over because of the chaos that ensues. Usually, I feel sad for the kid because he is obviously suffering, but it’s just not in me today.

happymoni21 · November 2018

@mrstmoose Honestly if it wasn't for the dynamics of a shared best friend I think it would have happened earlier. E.g., when she was making jokes about my sexual assault during my bachelorette.

Ass**** friend got married last year to her on-again, off-again fiancé. He prides himself on always expressing his opinion even when it is not wanted, he loves making others uncomfortable and this behavior has rubbed off on her. I don't disagree with expressing uncomfortable opinions when something important is at stake (e.g., standing up for what is right, defending vulnerable persons). However, I also think that in low stakes situations sometimes if you don't have anything nice to say it is better to say nothing at all. E.g., How you feel about the sex of my baby.

ysotte · November 2018

So I’ve started telling everyone that I’m pregnant and one of my close friends told this other girl that I know, but she’s more of an acquaintance. I don’t mind that my friend told somebody because it’s no longer a secret and my friend is excited about it, but then this acquaintance told one of my closer friends who I hadn’t had a chance to speak to yet, and THAT friend asked my best friend and now it’s starting to feel like my pregnancy is being turned into some gross rumor instead of the happy thing that it actually is. First off, the acquaintance has not contacted or congratulated me at all, but she feels the right to go around talking about my pregnancy? And then the friend that she told asks someone else instead of just coming to me personally? If you think your friend would lie about something like that, why are you friends in the first place?? I don’t know. Maybe I’m being ridiculous feeling irritated by this, but I just don’t like the feeling it gave me.

sheknows6 · November 2018

happymoni21 said:

@mrstmoose Honestly if it wasn't for the dynamics of a shared best friend I think it would have happened earlier. E.g., when she was making jokes about my sexual assault during my bachelorette.

Ass**** friend got married last year to her on-again, off-again fiancé. He prides himself on always expressing his opinion even when it is not wanted, he loves making others uncomfortable and this behavior has rubbed off on her. I don't disagree with expressing uncomfortable opinions when something important is at stake (e.g., standing up for what is right, defending vulnerable persons). However, I also think that in low stakes situations sometimes if you don't have anything nice to say it is better to say nothing at all. E.g., How you feel about the sex of my baby.

That's a literal needle scratch moment for me. What the f&*%?!

thatbaintforbetty · November 2018

sheknows6 said:

happymoni21 said:

@mrstmoose Honestly if it wasn't for the dynamics of a shared best friend I think it would have happened earlier. E.g., when she was making jokes about my sexual assault during my bachelorette.

Ass**** friend got married last year to her on-again, off-again fiancé. He prides himself on always expressing his opinion even when it is not wanted, he loves making others uncomfortable and this behavior has rubbed off on her. I don't disagree with expressing uncomfortable opinions when something important is at stake (e.g., standing up for what is right, defending vulnerable persons). However, I also think that in low stakes situations sometimes if you don't have anything nice to say it is better to say nothing at all. E.g., How you feel about the sex of my baby.

That's a literal needle scratch moment for me. What the f&*%?!

Yea. Times 2. No okay. Not in a million years is this in any way okay.

I would actually talk to the other friend and see if she's feeling the same way, cause i would bet she does and doesn't want to say anything case you don't feel the same. I would not keep a "friend' like this.

happymoni21 · November 2018

@thatbaintforbetty @sheknows6 @mrstmoose thanks for the support.

It was a really weird situation, perhaps jokes weren't the right term. We were playing one of those silly games where a question is posed about how well people know the bride and everyone writes down their response. The question was "What was the worst date the bride has ever been on?" And she wrote down the name of the guy who sexually assaulted me during a date and then doubled down on it definitely being my worst date. I mean, yes, technically it was the worst date I have ever been on but I didn't think that was the intent of the question or appropriate at all to bring up during my bachelorette. And for the rest of the night she kept making the point of saying things like "Here's to you marrying Hubs and not that guy." Like let it go, I want to focus on my friends and my wedding, not my sexual assault.

I am a bit of a pushover, I hate confrontation but at this point I think I need to be honest with both friends and at the very least take a break from ass**** friend.

thatbaintforbetty · November 2018

@happymoni21 That is not the time or the place or the manner in which to bring that up. I think talking with both friends and taking a break is a great start. You can be honest while also being compassionate, and she seems to lack that.

sheknows6 · November 2018

@happymoni21 on no planet is that acceptable, and she knew full well that it wasn't appropriate. Here, let me ruin a great moment in your life by bringing up probably the worst one I can think of- who does that?!

I hope you can find a way to cut her out of your life or address the problem with her that feels comfortable for you because that is seriously messed up. I'm mad for you!

kangstadt · November 2018

@happymoni21, I'm just gonna add another vote to talking to her and/or cutting her out. None of that is acceptable, in any way, shape, or form. Sometimes we have to just remove negative people from our lives for our own mental happiness, and for our kid's. No one needs that kind of energy around when they're pregnant and stressed out as is.

Hope you find the courage to confront her or find a solution

.

happymoni21 · November 2018

@kangstadt @sheknows6 @mrstmoose @thatbaintforbetty

Thanks so much for the support everyone!

midway_mouse · November 2018

@happymoni21There are so many things about your friend that get my blood to boil. What she has done sounds incredibly hurtful and I cannot imagine how she can justify her actions. Honestly, I would describe her behavior as abusive. That just sucks. I hope you are able to find a way to care for yourself and your baby.

snowhite12 · November 2018

@happymoni21, sounds like your ass friend is jealous of you IMO.
I have a similar story...several of my friends are expecting babies in the winter/spring and ALL are having girls. My H and I are going green this time around and I have expressed this to my friends. Well my ass friend told me I would be left out if this LO isn't a girl and she believes I am having a boy and refuse to admit it due to embarrassment....

happymoni21 · November 2018

Thanks @midway_mouse.

@snowhite12 Who are these people? Why on earth would you be embarrassed to be having a boy? I hope your other friends are more supportive.

snowhite12 · November 2018

@happymoni21 I know right??? believe it or not my friends who do not have children are significantly more supportive and sensitive.
The ass friend of mine who frequently makes comments about me or whoever happens to be in her path of misery has always been a bitch, unfortunately since she found out shes expecting her bitchiness has hit a all time high.
I would never be embarrassed or "less happy" if this one turns out to be a boy, I have a boy and a girl and both are the center of my world.

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