Blended Families
bsievering
member
Frustrated Beyond Belief
bsievering
member
Hi everyone! I'm new here and honestly, I just need to vent.
My husband and I have been married for four years. He is 10.5 years older than me - I am 28, he is 39.
He was married once before to his high school sweetheart. They had one child, who is now 16. Their marriage didn't work, and they have been divorced for over 15 years now.
People ask me all of the time when WE are going to have a baby. And I'm about ready to start punching anyone that asks me that in the babymaker - even my 97 year old Granny whom I love dearly. See - here's the thing. My husband tells people we are trying. But... we DON'T have sex.
I've asked him what I need to do differently. I'm asked him what he needs to do differently. I've asked if there is someone else (which is a stupid question, because I know without a shadow of a doubt that he would NEVER cheat.) He says I'm perfect. He's fine. He's just tired.
I know that mens' sex drive lowers, but is it common for it to be literally non-existent? I love him more than I ever imagined I could love someone, but I'm so frustrated that I don't even have a chance to HOPE that I'm pregnant.
Another thing that scares me is that if I do get pregnant, our children will be more than 17 years apart. Heck, my step-daughter could have a child before me at this rate!
Any ideas? Anyone else know exactly what I'm going through?
My husband and I have been married for four years. He is 10.5 years older than me - I am 28, he is 39.
He was married once before to his high school sweetheart. They had one child, who is now 16. Their marriage didn't work, and they have been divorced for over 15 years now.
People ask me all of the time when WE are going to have a baby. And I'm about ready to start punching anyone that asks me that in the babymaker - even my 97 year old Granny whom I love dearly. See - here's the thing. My husband tells people we are trying. But... we DON'T have sex.
I've asked him what I need to do differently. I'm asked him what he needs to do differently. I've asked if there is someone else (which is a stupid question, because I know without a shadow of a doubt that he would NEVER cheat.) He says I'm perfect. He's fine. He's just tired.
I know that mens' sex drive lowers, but is it common for it to be literally non-existent? I love him more than I ever imagined I could love someone, but I'm so frustrated that I don't even have a chance to HOPE that I'm pregnant.
Another thing that scares me is that if I do get pregnant, our children will be more than 17 years apart. Heck, my step-daughter could have a child before me at this rate!
Any ideas? Anyone else know exactly what I'm going through?
Re: Frustrated Beyond Belief
As for the large age gap. Yes, it may be awkward. There will probably be a lot of strange looks when your step-daughter is with you. However, having older children when you have a newborn can be such an amazing blessing! There's someone there to help with the household chores, watch the baby if you need to sleep, and even having her in the room when baby is born can help to bond both you and her as well as she and the baby closer together. I have many friends who have large gaps like this with their children. It's not a detriment, it's a blessing. ;-)