Sex During Pregnancy

leighbrek · October 2018

Hey ladies, I figured I'd put this up, but if it's really not a good topic, I'll just void the post.

As we're getting bigger, sex is getting to be a bit more challenging! What positions would you recommend? How does your SO feel about sex? How do YOU feel about it?

galactickates · October 2018

I think it's fine to talk about. We're all adults.
We have sex almost every night, but it is getting more challenging. I'm scared of smashing LO. I've been putting a pillow up by my chest to prop my stomach up (doggy style) but i'm not sure how much longer that's going to work. Big spoon little spoon also works. But not as fun.
My H is ridiculous and says he doesn't have much time left... like he's dying or something. I think it's an excuse to sneak frisky time in. Lol

leighbrek · October 2018

@galactickates Your hubby sounds hilarious! So melodramatic.

I'm significantly smaller than my husband, which was never really a thing pre-pregnancy, but it's making things challenging now! lol. We no longer fit together like puzzles pieces; more like two big balloons.

We have to stick mostly with positions that are not face to face, like reverse cowgirl or side by side. He's almost afraid to initiate sex; he says he thinks I'm always really uncomfortable and don't want playtime. Pffft. I want him to initiate for both my ego and for communication sake! And, of course, for playtime.

jgil85 · October 2018

@galactickates OMG I'm so jealous of your sex life! I wish we would have sex every night.

As far as us, it feels the best and is the most comfortable for me when I'm on top so that's what we usually do.

gorgeousariel · October 2018

We dtd about once a week, which is our normal. I have really enjoyed oral and fingering lately so most our time is spent there and then move on to actual sex. Sometimes he's on top and sometimes I'm on top. I think I remember the further along I got with DD I had to be on top more but as of now it's still fairly "normal" for us.

DLpanda08 · October 2018

Between me feeling huge, gross, and tired all the time and DH being paranoid about hurting the baby, our sex life is nonexistent at the moment. I’ve tried to get myself in the mood thinking DH must be feeling like he’s missing out, but neither of us can get into it. As someone who was all about daily sex pre-pregnancy this dry spell is definitely different, but not bad. We still crave the intimacy and have gotten good at finding non sexual ways to meet those needs without pushing each other out of our current comfort zones.

LeahNicole · October 2018

Glad this was started

My H and I usually (prepreg) have sex about 2x week, give or take. Lately it's been not even once a week and the last 3 times have been because I've mentioned that he doesn't seem to be interested in sex. I'm already not feeling great confidence wise, and I'm alot larger this time around than with dd. The most recent time I was on top and it was enjoyable but lately it's just not been great, mostly because it feels like it only happened because I made a comment. Sucks

drabong88 · October 2018

We usually DTD 2 to 3 times a week and it has stayed mostly the same while pregnant, with a few times were it was only once a week. I work night shift so we dont even sleep in the same bed 3 days a week. Position wise doggie style is probably our go to while pregnant with me using a pillow to lean on the bigger I get. Oral sex is kinda a bummer for me while pregnant. I feel self conscious about the extra discharge (sorry if TMI) and find myself less able to enjoy that part so we sometimes just forward past that. I do enjoy actual sex more while pregnant so that is a definate plus.

kmos816 · October 2018

Also non existent here, I don’t have a huge sex drive and DH has never been the initiator so we are just on hold for now. We just need someone to watch DD for a whole day and maybe we’d find some time and wouldn’t be so exhausted!!!!

leighbrek · October 2018

It's great to see all the different viewpoints!

@DLpanda08 @LeahNicole
I'm with you in that it does seem more challenging to get DH going. I was super sad yesterday, because he was being really cute and snuggly, and he led me to the bedroom... In my head I was all, "SCORE!"
But then... He just collapsed onto the bed and played on his phone! I asked why he lured me into the bedroom and he was genuinely confused. That stung. @LeahNicole So I totally get what you mean about having to be the initiator.

bradleysmommy28 · October 2018

Non-existent here too. DH has been having highs and lows for a few years because of his anxiety and diabetes and all the meds that come along with them. He doesn't seem interested so I just let it go. I did tell him if it were up do me it would be daily and he seemed surprised so I'm hoping maybe he'll up his game but that was last weekend and it hasnt happened since Saturday. He's been saying he's sore this week from his chiro treatment so I'm still holding out hope for more when he physically feels better.

nononorman · October 2018

@galactickates can’t believe u have sex daily!! Where does the energy come from??

Like @gorgeousariel at some point you get too big for most any other options except to just climb on top. Lot of energy and motivation required as sleep quality decreases

molosmiles · October 2018

I've never enjoyed being on top. I have to be in the mood for it. We've definitely not been having much sex. We go a couple times in 2 days then a week or two of nothing. He says he is fine with it, but I can't help but feel like he wants more. He's never said or done anything to make me think that, it's just in my head. So far it's been fairly normal, but we'll move on to more from behind action and me on top soon.

tosh24 · October 2018

Our routine hasn't really changed much from pre-pregnancy other than we're having sex a bit less because of my anxiety. We've been married so long we are well out of the "doing it like rabbits" stage. We used to have sex daily/multiple times a day in the early years and while I was pregnant with DD but that's been over for a loooooong time. Pre-pregnancy we were at once a week-ish....now it's a little more spaced out.

I actually love pregnant sex and so does DH. He loves seeing the belly and has never felt weirdness about hurting baby or anything. I love my belly, I love my bigger boobs, and I think that confidence is what makes DH enjoy it more. My PGAL brain is the main impediment to sexytime right now. I CAN'T WAIT until we get to mid-third tri where I can relax and just enjoy sex without the anxiety of it causing PTL or something.

Doggy-style, cowboy and reverse cowboy are the positions that work right now. If oral is on the menu (which it usually is), I make sure to shower first which makes things less spontaneous but I feel better about the discharge and stuff down there.

KLS123 · October 2018

Pre-preg we were more like 3-4x/week, now it is more like 1-2x/week. Mostly because we used to be really into morning sex but now my lady bits get quite swollen after DTD that it makes it really uncomfortable to immediately put pants on and go about my day so adult time is saved for evenings only these days.
Anyone else experiencing this? I assumed it was just from all the extra blood flowing through my body and haven't bothered to mention it to my midwife

ladystout08 · October 2018

This has been on my mind lately. I was thinking this morning I should set an alarm for some morning sex before DS gets up. By the time night time rolls around I'm in so much pain and tired that I don't even want it. One position that works well for us is DH on his side and I sort of scissor him, if that makes sense. My belly is out of the way but it still hits a good angle.

galactickates · October 2018

@wolfmum I dunno ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I just really like connecting with my husband every night. I always sleep and feel better after. We don't do it for hours lol. It's kind of like going to the gym. Once you're in the moment it feels great and I've never regretted it after

mrsmang · October 2018

@KLS123 it’s interesting you say that because I’m finding the opposite. I’m much more comfortable with sex in the morning, by the end of the day I’m feeling way more bloated and normally have been having bad heartburn.

We’re at about once a day, which is actually less than pre-pregnancy for us when it tended to be more like twice a day on average. We’ve now ended up mostly doggy style, but luckily that’s DHs favorite anyway. He seems not at all bothered by the pregnancy, which is good. I’m feeling a little more self conscious but it makes me feel a lot better that it’s not an issue for him.

nononorman · October 2018

@galactickates def understood that you never regret it. But damn then you have to get it started! I’m ... way too lazy

AliKay20 · October 2018

I’m tired reading some of these bc I have zero sex drive w this pregnancy. We DTD two wks ago and I honestly felt so blah during it. I just wanted DH to finish, lol.

I know it sounds sooo cliche w a toddler but seriously I am so wiped once we put her down that DTDing is the last thing on my mind.

We usually find that wknds mid-day work during toddler’s nap time but I wish I had the drive I once had. I just really don’t as of late.

gorgeousariel · October 2018

@KLS123 I get very swollen after too. It's impossible for me to go to sleep right after. So I know if/ when we do have sex I'll be up for another hour until my bits are less " angry" lol.

saltedcaramel518 · October 2018

@KLS123 Yes, I get swollen too

mtengl · October 2018

We have always been the once or twice a week track. We are still on that track and honestly it has stayed that way because I do get so swollen afterwards that it has to be on the weekends and when I know there will be some down time. Plus during the week I am a walking zombie after work.
I was so scared he wouldn’t want to have sex during pregnancy but he still is turned on. I think the only thing that has really changed is that since I become swollen and sore easily right now I kind of want it to not last as long in hopes that I won’t be as sore. We are still in the normal positions as before I just might have to angle or adjust a little during each position.

sweetyjenj · October 2018

Awesome that some of you are able to keep up having sex more regularly! We used to about twice a week, now it's more like once a month. I feel really bad, but DH doesn't complain and I've helped him in other ways a few times in between. Sex hurts lately, so even when I do initiate or go with the flow if DH initiates, I usually end up not liking it but keep going anyway. It feels way better if I orgasm first, but that just makes it all take longer and if we wait until before bed, I'm just too tired to put in the effort.

greenhillgirl · October 2018

We used to be a few times a month and now are still about the same or a bit less. DH works nights and I work days so we only see each other on the weekends. He doesn't have as high a drive as I wish and isn't a big initiator and its something we've struggled with over the years. That being said when we do have sex it's amazing. Pregnant sex has continued to be great but it is a bit weird with goop on my nipples and the bump getting bigger. Me on top didn't feel so great last time because I didn't like my belly bouncing. I'm hoping for some kind of spooning next time. I've always had huge boobs and they're even bigger now and I catch him looking at them and smiling like a kid in a candy store so that's nice haha.

KLS123 · October 2018

@gorgeousariel @saltedcaramel518 @mtengl so survey says: swelling is normal

Thanks for sparing me the inevitable google search that would have surely pulled up a bunch of images that you just can't unsee...

mtengl · October 2018

@KLS123 when I started to get swelling/sore my husband actually googled it this was normal (he is more paranoid than I am right now) and he found the article on Mayo where they specifically say men shouldn’t blow into the vagina. He was like “who does that? And they do it enough they say don’t?”

leighbrek · October 2018

lol @mtengl I had the exact same thought when I read that!

sweetyjenj · October 2018

@mtengl LOL what??? Who blows into it? And for what purpose? You wouldn't feel it if you blew directly in, and it's not going to blow you up a bit for more space, so I don't understand. And yeah...enough people do it that they felt the need to say not to??

Now I want to try it just to see how ridiculous it is, but I can't because they said not to.

bradleysmommy28 · October 2018

So I just have to throw this out there... sex swing = a whole new level. Apparently our "position" problems have now been solved with this contraption so hopefully it means more fun in my future because i was starting to get a complex LOL!

leighbrek · October 2018

@bradleysmommy28 That's a brilliant idea!

greenhillgirl · October 2018

@bradleysmommy28 oh my you are not playing around (fans self)

kianarain · October 2018

Damn this thread makes me feel shitty

when I'm not pregnant, usually we DTD like 3-4x a week - sometimes a few times/day on the weekend. It's been like... 2-3x a month so far. During first tri I was scared to do it at all (may or may not have started crying during the one time we tried, so it scarred both of us for a little), and now I'm feeling so big/unattractive that when we do have sex it's a quickie mostly for his sake. Though we did have some pretty kinky anniversary sex earlier this month which was nice.

I was just thinking about how much I miss getting a little wine buzz going before sex. Obviously I love it stone cold sober too, but I loosen up so much and get out of my head with just a couple glasses. Suddenly I'm not hyper-aware of a little extra jiggle & I get more in the moment. Come back to me wine

hollye30 · October 2018

Pelvic rest for placenta previa here. But I've certainly enjoyed reading everyone's posts in hope's that my restrictions get removed.

LauraK33 · October 2018

Ooof I miss it. Pelvic rest since 16 weeks here! Dh pointed out that maybe we will get to again in like March 🤦

sweetyjenj · October 2018

@bradleysmommy28 we have one, but we haven't tried it since 1st tri because I assumed it would be too tough with me this large and how hard it is to move/bend. I feel like my upper body strength was good enough to help me adjust at my normal weight, but as my stomach grew, my strength weakened lol .We have the one from pure romance. Isn't it hard to get in and get adjusted? We didn't have it long enough before getting pregnant to get super used to it, so maybe that's keeping me away, too.

bradleysmommy28 · October 2018

@sweetyjenj the one we have is from Amazon but resembles the Pure Romance one. I did use a stool to adjust first then just used my arms. Def not as easy as before but not as hard as I was expecting. Now I'm sort of annoyed I had been avoiding it LOL

kmvisioli · October 2018

Pelvic rest since 19weeks over here too, so we’re mostly just making out and getting handsy like teenagers. By the time we get the all-clear I feel like it’s going to be all brand new/first time again!

al_vy · November 2018

Man, a regular sex life would be great right about now! SO picked up a second job a few weeks ago to save up some extra money, and I'm a full-time student and working full-time, so finding time is almost impossible.
We did have sex last night for the first time in weeks. It's much easier now if I'm on top lol

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