Intro- Hey Everyone! Loss mentioned

sarahtothea · October 2018

Hello Everyone!

I've been lurking the board for a few months now and decided to finally take the plunge into the community! Please forgive me if I'm not 100% up with the lingo and everything (Although I think I read the pinned discussion about 10 times before deciding to post ha ha)! You all seem very kind and supportive and I hope to be able to support you all on your journeys as well! ^^

A little about me.... My name is Sarah and I'm 31, DH is 27. We have been TTC for almost 4 years now. We just started getting treated for IF this year because we had to wait to switch to my insurance, which covers most expenses towards IF treatments. Fast forward through testing and my doctor says that I have a DOR with AMH of 1.2, and possible uterine polyps whereas DH has no fertility issues. They decided that I would do a cycle of clomid/trigger/IUI with an understanding that I would get a SHG to see if there really are polyps if it didn't take.

Well, it took! I was so surprised to get a BFP, and watched my line darken over the weekend! I went to get my first Betas and the nurse said they looked great! However, when I went to get my second she said my numbers plummeted. She said that I had probably had a CP. I was absolutely devastated. I tried to convince myself it "wasn't a real loss" but of course it was, for me at least. It took several days to feel positive again but here I am!

So currently, I have to take BCPS (Which honestly feels like a slap in the face! Although I do understand why I have to take them ha ha) and have the HSG scheduled for next week and then possible surgery to remove polyps afterwards? And then hopefully soon after I can continue with my IUI cycles ^^

Anyways! I'm excited to meet all of you and I'm hoping that we all have success! ^^

Alyeena · October 2018

Welcome : )

A chemical pregnancy is definitely a real loss to some, it varies from person to person but if it feels that way to you it's perfectly valid. You got that BFP and then you imagine your little baby, I know it is hard, I am very sorry.

I did IVF and I also had to take the birth control pill before my egg retrieval and my FET, I know it feels really counter-productive and like you say a bit of a slap in the face but it is necessary, it did help me count down the days, every pill I took was one day closer. I hope your HSG goes well and surgery too (if you need it) and I hope you can keep trying IUI. I wish you all the luck : )

cato99 · October 2018

Welcome! I totally hear you on how ridiculous it feels to take BCP. When I went to the pharmacy to pick them up before my IVF cycle the pharmacist innocently asked if I wanted him to set up refills and I loudly announced NO, FOR I AM STARTING IVF to like the whole pharmacy as if anyone cared lol.

I hope this process goes smoothly for you and I look forward to seeing your progress!

sarahtothea · October 2018

@Alyeena Thanks a lot saying that. It's really kind and it makes me feel better! And that's a really good way to think about it as a countdown to when I can "move forward" ^^

@cato99 LOL!!!! I was dyin' when I read that!!! I think DH might have thought I was a crazy person when I busted out laughing ha ha! Thanks for the encouragement! I hope everything goes well for you too!!!

Alyeena · October 2018

@cato99 Your reply made me think of when I got my birth control prescription and had to get more prenatal vitamins at the same time. I got a weird look xD

cxsimo08 · October 2018

@sarahtothea so glad to have you here! I totally get you girl- I recently had CPs and felt the same way, it's so exciting to finally get that line and feel the pain of IF is over only to go back there. You try so hard not to have full hope but how can you not! It's completely heartbreaking. I actually named my little ones and mourned the loss- I pray their little souls will come back to me in a body that's better for them than those ones were.

As for the BCP- I'm on them too right now and get it lol. Are the pills affecting you? I did not remember BCP making me this irritable/emotional. Started crying at work because my cell phone data plan was over for this month - that's when you know you're loosing it right!?

Anyway thinking of you and if you end up doing a Nov IUI I'll be on that board w/ you!

jazziep · October 2018

Welcome!
I am so sorry for your loss. Do not let anyone tell you your loss wasn't a "real loss." If that is how it feels in your heart. Then that is your truth. And I'm sending you love and prayers.

A lot of the women on this board have felt what you are going through. Whether it's a CP, or a failed IUI cycle or IVF transfer, or even embryos that don't make it to blast. The ladies here know what it feels like to lose that hope and pick themselves back up.

This board has been extremely helpful for me throughout out difficult journey and I am glad you have found us.

I will keep you in my prayers for your xray.

sarahtothea · October 2018

@cxsimo08 Thank you!!! I'm also sorry for your losses, it totally sucks!!! Your reply definitely resonated with me! I kept trying to not be hopeful because I've never been lucky lol But yeah, thinking that we were all done with this stuff and finally have what we've wanted for 4 years, it really sucked when it didn't turn out. That's such a nice way to think of it, I hope that they come back with a better body too. ^^

And YESSSS. The pills are so bad for my mental stability!!! I used to be on them when DH and I started dating... I guess I was absolutely miserable on them back then (According to DH and my step mom, I actually didn't notice I was being awful!) Anywho, I prepared everyone when I had to start taking them again... so everyone is handling me with kiddie gloves lol

Ha ha ha ha It is a sad time when the data plan ends!!! LOL No, I totally get it though. It sucks to be so emotional over everything and know why its happening, but unable to stop the feelings! I feel for you

I'll be there! Hopefully I'll have a plan when I go for the sono on Tuesday! Hopefully there are no polyps and they clear me for nov!!!! I was thinking of joining the board even though I don't actually know if I'll be doing it XD But I should really wait lolol

@jazziep Thank you so much, that's really kind of you to say!!! It definitely did feel like one

I'm glad to have found you all as well! Everyone here has been beyond wonderful, including yourself!!!!

Thanks so much!!!!

cxsimo08 · October 2018

@sarahtothea good luck with the Sono today! Let us know how it goes. You should definitely join the board regardless

XO

mbradfo2 · October 2018

@sarahtothea

I agree the bcp seems so silly! I understand -why- they do it, but I just was amused by the thought that I'm taking BCP so I can get pregnant. Haha.

We are unexplained and the only thing that worked was our IVF cycle (and also showed why we only had one BFP during 6 years of TTC -- which ended in M/C). Only 50% of our eggs fertilized and of those, only 2 made it to day 6. Likely egg quality issues which aligns with the fact that my AMH was dropping like a rock between the time we started seeing the RE and when we moved on to IVF. The odds were stacked against us when trying naturally.

Good luck today! Hopefully you'll get some answers and will be able to move ahead with a good plan!

sarahtothea · October 2018

So update: I had no polyps! They cleared me for my next cycle so I'm going to join the nov IUI group for now! ^^

@cxsimo08 Thanks I'll be there! ^^

@mbradfo2 It really does seem weird! Lol!

Aww seems like quite the journey! But I see it worked out well for you in the end!!! Congrats! ^^

Intro- Hey Everyone! Loss mentioned

Re: Intro- Hey Everyone! Loss mentioned

Choose Another Board

Search Boards

Intro- Hey Everyone! **Loss mentioned**

Re: Intro- Hey Everyone! **Loss mentioned**

Choose Another Board

Search Boards

Intro- Hey Everyone! Loss mentioned

Re: Intro- Hey Everyone! Loss mentioned