MBF - Oct 15th

leighbrek · October 2018

Feeeeeel the burn!

kianarain · October 2018

Oh lawd I need this. Friday was my 24 week appointment & not sure why, but I saw a doctor instead of the midwives as usual. It was the first male I've seen in this pregnancy which isn't usually an issue at all for me. But the first thing he says when he walks in is "so is it true you've gained 35 pounds already?" … Well sir, you see the initial weight and you saw my weight today, so yes. Not proud but I'm doing the best I can here and am eating (mostly) healthy foods, exercising most days, etc. The women in my family just gain a lot of weight when pregnant. My mom gained like 60 per baby. "That's usually what we like to see when we're nearing due date. Well what can we be doing better?" I said I'm constantly snacking so he asked what I was snacking on and made recommendations, which I do appreciate. But he was just rushing through the appointment so fast that he didn't even prompt me about exercise, instead I just felt like he was berating me for eating a lot. Oh and *TW* my miscarriage was a month before I conceived again. I didn't do ANYTHING my first trimester because I was terrified too much activity would result in another loss. So I gained most of my weight in first tri & have been on a steady uptick since.. *end TW*

Also probably immature, but how much weight did you gain in your pregnancy?!?!? Oh wait. I know he's keeping an eye out for my health, but the way he went about it wasn't genuine & was super condescending. I went home & cried in the bath for like an hour. Then got a burger, shake & fries.

nononorman · October 2018

Lol @kianarain I don’t want to hear anything about weight from anyone EVER. I think everyone gains differently and even from preg to preg. My last pregnancy I was a very healthy and exercise strenuously throughout but I gained like 55 pounds and this time I’ve gained like 12 pounds at 27 weeks and I’m eating like a little piglet with no exercise. Zero f*cks either way as long as my health is good. I don’t wanna hear a thing if my BP, glucose and the true indicators are all good. I actually had something similar happened last pregnancy because I saw women the entire time until I had a resident (man) do my visit at about 30 weeks and he brought up weight for the first time and said something like “we like to talk about weight to make sure you’re on track” blah blah and I said THATS INTERESTING Bc you’re the first person to bring it up.

My BF this week is that I have already had one pointless call this morning and I have another pointless meeting this afternoon that’s just wasting my time when I could be working on more impt things.

sparkymcgeee · October 2018

That's super frustrating @kianarain. From your bump pictures you look completely fine to me. I'm sorry he made you feel like you were doing something wrong. That sucks.

sparkymcgeee · October 2018

My day started out really good. And then I got to work. My computer wouldn't recognize my password. The password that I didn't change at all. That worked just fine Friday when I left work. So 20 minutes later I finally get into the system. Making me late. Then I had to deal with people that just don't use their brain on my team. Like my job while demanding is not that difficult and so it's annoying that people are constantly confused and asking me for help on really simple things. This is why you have been here longer but I have more responsibility and success.

All of that sounds mean but I am getting really frustrated by it. I shouldn't be the senior on the team and yet I am.

DLpanda08 · October 2018

@kianarain I’d be annoyed too! Doctor or not, he doesn’t need to harp on your eating like that.

My BF is that two different people have commented on how much bigger I look today. I know they mean well, but “you’re getting so big” stops being a compliment after about 1st grade.

ladystout08 · October 2018

I'm the "key person" for my site. Basically I'm the team lead without being paid as such but I'm the first person they add to contracts and they use my resume for bids. It's such a pain sometimes, we have training tomorrow and I'm just facilitating the on-site portion and everyone keeps asking me things and I'm like I DON'T KNOW. Shoulda stayed home.

sparkymcgeee · October 2018

Preach Lady! I'm defacto lead as well and get put on the special projects or extra meetings and even new hire interviews and team training. Like I train all the new people. I just want the pay to reflect the role. I don't mind the work (even though the questions can be ridiculously stupid) but I want to be paid for the work I do.

leighbrek · October 2018

Maybe this is totally sexist of me, but I feel that men (doctors, randoms, whatever) have absolutely no right in any capacity to comment on a pregnant woman's body or weight. It seems to me that they have zero comprehension of what's what. Both midwives that take care of me AND my family doctor haven't said much about my weight until I actually asked, at which point they did tell me that the weight gain was a little high up to this point, but they were polite, tactful, gave good advice, and ultimately told me not to stress about it. The last thing any of us need is yet another condescending male making statements!
I'm not a femi-nazi, but some things do really set me at a slow burn.

I took next week off work to deep clean my little house and just get everything done for baby's arrival. I'm going CRAZY knowing there's a lot to do, but not actually doing any of it. I had a lot of vacation time, anyway, so might as well burn some of it before maternity leave.
Anyway, I notified my team that I'd be off to focus on baby prep, and I got TWO phone calls from different people to criticize me taking time off! One said, "Oh, you should wait until after the baby shower, because you'll want to organize that stuff." (Yeah, thanks for your advice when you have no idea that all baby stuff to date is piled in my living room because I currently have nowhere to put it... Let's add even more to that pile until we can't even reach the front door anymore). The other said, "Don't you know that the baby can't move around for a really long time?"
No, Sherlock, I thought the baby was born walking!
Grrr to the judginess!

ladystout08 · October 2018

We have training scheduled for tomorrow and the guy who organized it has dropped the ball so hard that it popped a hole and is going flat. I did my part of reserving a conference room and making sure we could access the slides but we have no idea who’s supposed to go, who’s coming from off site, do they have valid visit requests, etc.

kaf1788 · October 2018

I basically train and assign/review all the work for a new hire without actually being his manager (a BF for another day..). He's super nice and smart but straight out of college and a major complainer which drives me CRAZY. Any time I give him an assignment he'll either whine about how much work it is or make some kind of sarcastic comment about it being boring. Like I did his job plus my own for the first 5 months of pregnancy without complaining. It is so tempting to just tell him to suck it up and do his job!

Ghostie625 · October 2018

This is a total FWP but I'm going to bitch about it anyway. A few of my extended in-laws have complained to DH's aunt (who is very close to us, like a mom to DH) that we don't have enough expensive stuff on our registry. They complained about the same thing when we got married.
First of all, we don't have super expensive taste, but a lot of his family does so they're used to people asking for crazy expensive stuff. That's just not us.
Secondly, we have limited space in our house. We don't need or have room for a ton of big things. We registered for what we actually want and need.
I'm glad they're excited and want to be generous to us, but we're trying to be practical here.
It also doesn't help that DH's aunt, who's hosting the shower for his side of the family, invited about a million people. Again, I'm touched that so many people are happy for us and want to get us what we need for the baby, but please don't pressure me into getting things that we don't have the need or the space for.

mrsmang · October 2018

I’m worried about storage space and registry for a different reason and I feel bad... our shower is next weekend and so far very few things off our registry are purchased. I have a feeling we are getting a lot of things we don’t necessarily want or need. Im sure it will all be nice and thoughtful, but I put a lot of time into researching what I thought was best for us and our situation and I feel like I’ll still have a lot of shopping to do after this is over.

mtengl · October 2018

Tomorrow is Boss’s Day and technically I am the third in charge but everyone else including the secretaries forgot it is tomorrow because the head secretary quit and her last day was last week. so I had to remind them especially since my two bosses take them all out to lunch on secretary day. I wasn’t working last year so I didn’t know what they normally did but knew they typically collected money and got the two bosses gifts. Well they flipped out on me and were pissed they had to collect the money and buy the gift cards and cake for our bosses because normally the head secretary does it.
It took all I had not to lose it on them, especially after one of them gave me crap for going to the store during my lunch to pick up cards from just me and then cash to pitch in for the gifts.

leighbrek · October 2018

@mrsmang Same here. I'm having dreams about this, so I guess I'm feeling a bit stressed by how much I'm going to have to buy on my own. Thank god for Facebook marketplace and Kijiji.

jgil85 · October 2018

@mrsmang I remember stalking my registry the week before my shower and thinking no one was going to show up because nothing was purchased. And then I looked the day before and what felt like a hundred things were purchased! The lesson I learned is that people will literally put off shopping until the last minute!! And I've honestly been guilty of that too. I hope you have a wonderful shower!

molosmiles · October 2018

@kaf1788 I have a coworker like that. He's been there the least amount of time, thankfully I didn't have to train him. But I'm needing to train him on a few things before I leave and I'm finding I have little patience with him because of his attitude so I tell him as little as possible. Definitely not my normal training method. Sometimes I feel bad but his attitude drives me crazy.

ladystout08 · October 2018

@kianarain did you read my bitch about my ultrasound? The MFM read my ultrasound but didn't actually meet/see me and said that it was unreadable because of maternal obesity because in my chart I'm technically obese by BMI. Way to make a judgement call, a-hole.

molosmiles · October 2018

@ladystout08 WTactualF.

kianarain · October 2018

@ladystout08 uhhh holy shit no I did not see that. Seriously why does no one take other factors into account? It's like all that matters is height number X, weight should be Y, and everything else is insignificant. I swear I've gained 10+ pounds in my boobs alone - that doesn't make me overweight.

And @leighbrek I'm right there with you. I've never had an issue with male doctors until pregnancy, and even then wouldn't give a flying f*ck aside from him being an asshat about my weight gain. I feel biggish, but I gain & lose weight so easily & feel more comfortable with the gain knowing that it'll (probably) come right off when I'm nursing and able to move/breathe again.

The doctor did come in and manually take my BP because it was pretty high when the nurse checked it, but it was "much better" when he checked it again. I've also always had high BP, even when I was pretty underweight, so it's not abnormal for me. & no glucose check yet, so for all we know that's fine. Can we stop being so judgy about the number and focus on overall health? Sheesh.

DLpanda08 · October 2018

I arrived at the lab for my 3 hour glucose test and it’s actually a 5 hour test due to family history and how badly I failed my 1 hour test.

I’m currently waiting on the 3rd draw and some dude just walked in with a big bag full of chick-fil-a which he is currently eating right next to me.

sparkymcgeee · October 2018

I have the flip side of the situation where I don't gain any weight and I tend to lose some with pregnancy and the docs still tend to freak out a bit. But my baby is fine. My BP is fine. I don't have gestational diabetes or anything and yet I was pre-screened for GD, Pre-E and I was told I should see a nutritionist because my starting weight was higher than they like to see. Okay so let's do things to promote MORE weight loss? Like that seems completely backwards.
So I don't think pregnant women can win at all when it comes to their body and weight. Unless you start at 120 and gain 25 pounds and lose it all by 6w postpartum. Because we all obviously fit that mold.

pttomato · October 2018

sparkymcgeee said:
So I don't think pregnant women can win at all when it comes to their body and weight. Unless you start at 120 and gain 25 pounds and lose it all by 6w postpartum. Because we all obviously fit that mold.

And even then it has to be the “right” rate. I started at 130 and gained 25 pounds with my daughter, but I didn’t gain until about 20 weeks and then gained weight very quickly and I got, “you’re not gaining enough weight, the baby’s not going to grow enough,” “you need to eat more, you won’t be able to gain weight eating like this and your baby will be too small,” “you need to slow down your weight gain or your baby will get too big,” “you must be eating too much, your baby is getting too fat.” Despite eating pretty much the same throughout my pregnancy. That seems to be just the way my body likes to gain weight. I also no longer trust ultrasound weight estimates of the baby.

Plus I did everything “right” and got diabetes at 13 weeks. Among the people I know who got GD, weight doesn’t seem to correlate.

sparkymcgeee · October 2018

pttomato said:

sparkymcgeee said:
So I don't think pregnant women can win at all when it comes to their body and weight. Unless you start at 120 and gain 25 pounds and lose it all by 6w postpartum. Because we all obviously fit that mold.

And even then it has to be the “right” rate. I started at 130 and gained 25 pounds with my daughter, but I didn’t gain until about 20 weeks and then gained weight very quickly and I got, “you’re not gaining enough weight, the baby’s not going to grow enough,” “you need to eat more, you won’t be able to gain weight eating like this and your baby will be too small,” “you need to slow down your weight gain or your baby will get too big,” “you must be eating too much, your baby is getting too fat.” Despite eating pretty much the same throughout my pregnancy. That seems to be just the way my body likes to gain weight. I also no longer trust ultrasound weight estimates of the baby.

Plus I did everything “right” and got diabetes at 13 weeks. Among the people I know who got GD, weight doesn’t seem to correlate.

Right! My boss losses weight during pregnancy and it's very overweight to begin with always ends up with GD. Like there is no one size fits all for women in pregnancy. I wish it were that simple but it's so far off. Every body reacts differently and docs need to see that. There isn't a norm when it comes to pregnancy. Not really. Even every pregnancy is different for a woman.

beachmama14 · October 2018

I had the most annoying Monday ever. Was rear ended at a red light with both my kids in the car. I ended up agreeing to go to the hospital to monitor the baby because the steering wheel hit my bump. They kept me all night to monitor, do blood work, check my cervix, etc. Everything looked good and I was released this morning. But now I have no vehicle while I wait for repairs, and I’m just so annoyed. I didn’t do anything wrong!

kaf1788 · October 2018

@beachmama14 I'm so glad you, your kids, and baby are all okay!

not_another_knottie · October 2018

ladystout08 said:

@kianarain did you read my bitch about my ultrasound? The MFM read my ultrasound but didn't actually meet/see me and said that it was unreadable because of maternal obesity because in my chart I'm technically obese by BMI. Way to make a judgement call, a-hole.

What in the actual F*ck! What kind of drs office do you go to? Sorry you have to deal with such ignorance.

ladystout08 · October 2018

ms_stevens87 said:

ladystout08 said:

@kianarain did you read my bitch about my ultrasound? The MFM read my ultrasound but didn't actually meet/see me and said that it was unreadable because of maternal obesity because in my chart I'm technically obese by BMI. Way to make a judgement call, a-hole.

What in the actual F*ck! What kind of drs office do you go to? Sorry you have to deal with such ignorance.

GAH stuck in the text box. My ultrasounds are all read remotely by an MFM. He's never met me or seen me but because my chart classifies me with "late pregnancy obesity" he just assumed that's why the U/S tech couldn't get the measurements she needed. For reference, I'm 5'4" and currently 189ish lbs and I powerlift when not pregnant so pretty muscularly dense.

oaklandava · October 2018

I am annoyed because the Bump still won't work. I can now reply only on certain threads, arbitrarily it appears. I'll type a reply, and hit post reply, and it will say "you don't have permission to do that". Yes, I've logged out. It doesn't appear to matter if it's the app, website on my MacBook, the iPad, etc. It just does it and customer service has been zero help. This drama has been going on for me since first tri. I am usually here able to read you guys stuff, but often times I can't post

I can't love it either. I'm so annoyed.

I went to an appointment yesterday and spent 5 hours at the doctor (regular OB and high risk OB) with my 4 year old. Not fun. I keep having blackout spells and dizziness so they've restricted my driving to just around town (10 mins at a time kind of thing). Super annoying because it keeps me from having a little independence but whatever. They're probably going to put me on insulin here in the next couple of weeks because I am on 2500mg of metformin a day now and it's doing NOTHING for my fasting numbers and tearing my stomach up. I've thrown up all day from it. So, I'm just annoyed all around at this point. I'm only 26+3 but **TW** since I lost a baby right before this one, I feel like I've been pregnant forever **end TW**. I haven't gained any weight in 12 weeks, which I am grateful for because like PP said (I can't tag people either), I gained most weight in first tri with this one. I'm just a big ball of obnoxiousness today and I really need to just sit down and be grateful that baby is fine even if I suck at being pregnant but because hormones, I'm whiny today.

I really just wish the Bump would work normally for me. Sometimes, I log in and can't even read entire threads so I just get mad and get off. I feel like I've missed out on so much on here

KLS123 · October 2018

@DLpanda08 I keep getting told that I look small (for being 29 weeks along, I'm not a petite person in general just average) and it's really getting on my nerves as well since my baby is measuring pretty small (like in the 9th percentile) and the last thing I need is people reminding me of that to trigger the anxiety loop in my head that I'm not doing pregnancy "right"

@kianarain @ladystout08 oh hell no.

@mrsmang @leighbrek yeah there have been 0 gifts purchased off of the registry that I agonized over creating after reading 13085 reviews and meticulously picking products that would work for our family....I see a lot of receiving blankets and impractical but cute outfits in my future

not_another_knottie · October 2018

@ladystout08 I can tell from your hump day photos that you’re not obese. Still a pain in the ass that a doctor makes an assumption based solely on numbers

not_another_knottie · October 2018

@KLS123
+1 to nothing being bought off your registry. Only a few, very few things have been bought off mine. It drives me insane. Bc people are telling me that they have bought gifts.
Also I’m sure you’re not doing pregnancy “wrong” and Hopefully your LO starts growing quickly and catches up.

DLpanda08 · October 2018

+1 to registry stress! My shower is Saturday and very few things have been purchased. Like 3. We specifically didn’t buy some big ticket items when they were on sale because we were told by family that they would get it for us as a shower gift.

@oaklandava that sounds so frustrating! The bump related stuff and all the pregnancy related issues. I think you’re allowed to be s bit whiney after all of that!

ChasingTheDog · October 2018

ladystout08 said:

@kianarain did you read my bitch about my ultrasound? The MFM read my ultrasound but didn't actually meet/see me and said that it was unreadable because of maternal obesity because in my chart I'm technically obese by BMI. Way to make a judgement call, a-hole.

That’s so dumb. I’m fat as fuck and they read mine juuuuust fine— or if they didn’t they didn’t tell me

sparkymcgeee · October 2018

Wait wait wait, I just went back to HDBD and saw you posted your pic @ladystout08. You have got to be freaking kidding me that the MFM said you were obese. Are you serious? I can't with that because it's total BS. You are so not at all obese. Not in the least. I just can't. I'm literally speechless which is why this post makes no sense. Flabbergasted.

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