March 2019 Moms
lovesclimbing
member
The med-free birth thread
lovesclimbing
member
Hello, hello,
Welcome to the med-free or "natural" birth thread. This thread is for us to discuss everything that goes into giving birth without pain meds.
We also have a thread for anyone planning to give birth at freestanding birth centers or at home here, if anyone falls into that category. https://forums.thebump.com/discussion/comment/90804491
Disclaimer that should go without saying. This thread is not intended to bash, judge or otherwise criticize anyone who chooses to have an epidural during labor. Everyone has to look at all their options and make the decision about how to give birth for themselves.
Some questions to get us started; feel free to deviate:
-STM+, did you attempt and/or have you had a med-free birth before? How did that go?
-Why do you want a med-free
birth, and if you've already had one, why do you want to do it again?
-Any techniques for coping with pain? Any you hope to do or study prior to birth?
-Questions? Comments? Anything else?
Welcome to the med-free or "natural" birth thread. This thread is for us to discuss everything that goes into giving birth without pain meds.
We also have a thread for anyone planning to give birth at freestanding birth centers or at home here, if anyone falls into that category. https://forums.thebump.com/discussion/comment/90804491
Disclaimer that should go without saying. This thread is not intended to bash, judge or otherwise criticize anyone who chooses to have an epidural during labor. Everyone has to look at all their options and make the decision about how to give birth for themselves.
Some questions to get us started; feel free to deviate:
-STM+, did you attempt and/or have you had a med-free birth before? How did that go?
-Why do you want a med-free
birth, and if you've already had one, why do you want to do it again?
-Any techniques for coping with pain? Any you hope to do or study prior to birth?
-Questions? Comments? Anything else?
Re: The med-free birth thread
I learned a lot about myself in that 24 hours, and I am happy I had the experience, even if it didn’t turn out quite like I had hoped in the end. I want a chance to see it through to the end this time around, and I’ve chosen a supportive midwife and hospital with an excellent VBAC success rate, so I am hopeful.
For pain, two tennis balls inside a tube sock rolled on the lower back is amazing. The birthing ball was great. And the best thing for me was warm water. I used both the shower and the tub while in labor and it really took the edge off. I also read a Bradley method book and I liked this idea of contractions as a wave to ride instead of something to fight against. I used the metaphor and imagery a lot when the going got tough.
Yes. I had my daughter at a freestanding birth center without meds. It was much harder than I expected. I knew it would be painful, of course, but I wasn't expecting that level of pain and difficulty. I was so out of it. I know people who could relax between contractions and even smile for a photo. Not me! I just sat there with my head hanging and waiting for the next one. Hopefully I cope better with this one!
-Why do you want a med-free
birth, and if you've already had one, why do you want to do it again?
For me, it's kind of a chicken and the egg deal. I wanted an out-of-hospital birth with midwives because I believe in that model of care (that birth is a normal, natural part of life, and while problems can and do arise, birth itself is not a medical problem and should not be treated as such until actual problems develop), and I wanted as low an intervention birth as possible and believed my chances were highest of getting that with a low risk pregnancy outside of the hospital. And part of that low intervention is no pain meds. So it's kind of do I want an OOH birth because I don't want the meds or I do I not want meds because I want an OOH birth, you know? Also, there's the whole "cascade of interventions" that I want to avoid. Finally, as with any medication, there are side effects and risks to the epidural. It's up to each woman to decide if the benefits outweigh the potential risks and side effects. I've decided that for a normal low risk delivery, they don't.
My beliefs haven't changed since last pregnancy, so I'm doing it again at the same birth center, assuming I stay low risk.
-Any techniques for coping with pain? Any you hope to do or study prior to birth?
I am definitely planning to do more reading on pain coping techniques! As I mentioned above, it was much harder than I thought. I don't have any specifics yet, except that I want to practice breathing ahead of time.
-Questions? Comments? Anything else?
STM+, did you attempt and/or have you had a med-free birth before? How did that go? Went med-free with DS and it went smoothly (if slowly). It was an incredibly intense experience, kind of like running a race. The pain was manageable - to be very clear, it was definitely painful and totally not trying to down play that, I just never hit a point where I felt like I wanted to give-up on going med-free. I tried to focus on getting through that moment, and not on the process as a whole, which seemed to help.
Why do you want a med-free birth, and if you've already had one, why do you want to do it again? I’m not big on meds in general and my mother and sister had both gone med-free. It just felt like the right choice for me. I know it can be totally different from one delivery to another, but I feel like if I did it once, I can do it again (fx).
Any techniques for coping with pain? Any you hope to do or study prior to birth? Used a yoga ball and walking and different positions (mostly on my side) to help with pain. DH and I took a natural birth class before DS, probably won’t take another class, but may see if I can come up with a refresher video or something.
-Questions? Comments? Anything else? Happy to answer any questions should anyone have any! And open to recommendations for videos should anyone have any!
Jack gained his wings on 09/02/2016.
Kali gained her wings on 07/28/2015.
They will be forever missed.
I went med free with my first. I had a natural water birth in a hospital. I was completely out of it for most of the labor right up until 15 minutes before I had him. My contractions came fast and very intense, my labor lasted only 5 hours. I was able to somewhat handle the pain but I ended up with a third degree tear and my recovery was awful. My post partum time was way more painful than the labor itself and I was in a lot of pain for over a month.
Because of my traumatic recovery, I decided to opt for the epidural as long as I got to the hospital on time. Well I got to the hospital at 5 cm so we went for it but it took forever for the Dr to put the epidural in (something to do with the space in my vertebrae so I’d probably have the same problem again). By the time he was done, I was probably at a 9. The birth was very peaceful and pain free but I don’t think the length of time it took for them to place the epidural was worth it.
-Why do you want a med-free
birth, and if you've already had one, why do you want to do it again?
I’ve had one of each and the epidural wasn’t worth it to me. I think I was traumatized by my first birth but the second was so much easier that I’m willing to give natural another try. I’m doing a free standing birth center so barring any complications, epidural won’t even be an option.
-Any techniques for coping with pain? Any you hope to do or study prior to birth?
Honestly both births were so different and I wanted/needed totally different things for pain management for each. Water definitely helps. Also telling your SO to ask specific questions is also helpful. I was too out of it to ask for anything but I could answer yes or no if he asked if I wanted water or pressure, etc.
-Questions? Comments? Anything else?
I would probably try for a VBAC (with meds, believe they would be required?) but some of my risk factors push me into the scheduled c section camp.
As far as coping with pain, it really comes down to mind of matter. Riding the wave as @maggiemadeit put it. I read the mindful birthing book which had a lot of good breathing exercises and I had a couple short prayer/ mantras that I would just repeat in my head over and over (I can do all things thru Christ who strengthens me/ if He brings you to it He will bring you through it)
I would have liked to use a birthing ball as my hospital promised but they only had a tiny one available and it was ridiculous for my fat butt to try to bounce on it. They also didn’t let me get up/change position when it was time to push and the positions they put me in were really uncomfortable and seemed counter productive. I firmly believe that had I been allowed to squat, or something, rather than be on my back I could have delivered her.
In one of the classes I took we practiced managing our reaction to pain by holding ice in our hands and seeing what techniques a partner could use to help. For me I just needed to have quiet and think through it, but the other couples said they preferred the rubbing & comfort measures
Final comment in my novel... we’ve covered it in other threads, but consider all birth outcomes so you are semi prepared to handle it emotionally if something doesn’t go to plan.
Married: 2012
BFP #1 Sept 2014, MMC Dec 2014 | BFP #2 May 2015, DD Jan 2016
ETA: sorry to crash, but I’ve been lurking this thread all day, and unmediated or not I think comfort measures are necessary for every woman hoping to deliver vaginally. And maybe even by c section. I can imagine there are some uncomfortable parts of that too.
Med-free birth with my son, Jackson, at a birth center. Aside from the obvious discomfort, it was a pretty pleasurable experience. I was in labor for 18 hours total, pushed for the last three. They let me more or less do what I pleased so I walked around A LOT. Really preferred to be on my feet. Hated the ball, sitting and then bouncing on it. NO WAY. LOL. Was in the tub for about an hour, which was amazing. Just to get off of my feet for a bit and be weightless. Pushed in a so many different positions. On my back, on my side, on my knees, over the toilet, pulling on a towel....
For me, having space to focus was important. I was so happy to have my husband there, but he mostly stood opposite me, with just one hand on my shoulder. I didn't want him rubbing my back, belly, or anything really. Just to be there as support. I was a yoga teacher in my extra time so ended up doing a fair amount of prenatal yoga before. I did some on my own, but also had my friend Sam in to guide me once a week. She's a physical therapist so it was awesome to have her work with me on some typical prego pains, like low back pain. THE WORST!
Definitely relate to riding the wave on the contractions and 100% focusing on one at a time. I felt that thinking about the labor as a whole and how long it may take was too overwhelming. I went one at a time in my mind and with my breathe and the time just passed. I remember looking up once and seeing that three hours had gone by!
Why do you want a med-free
birth, and if you've already had one, why do you want to do it again? Not a big fan of intervention in general. The less I can have my body messed with during my time on this earth, the better. Obv baring anything necessary. I felt and feel that med-free is my best chance at having a successful vaginal birth, eliminating various factors that can arise when introducing epidural, etc. I want to do it again because it worked the first time, I had a great experience, sooooo.. sign me up! LOL
Any techniques for coping with pain? Any you hope to do or study prior to birth? Someone previously said "mind over matter" and I do feel that this works well for me. I feel that you have to prepare emotionally long in advance to going into labor. Lot of work on the front end to keep your resolve as you're going through it. As you all know, it gets intense. I already mentioned a couple other things before. Preparedness.
Questions? Comments? Anything else?
I probably don't have to say this, but just want to. This is the best option for ME. Any I only mean I know it's not for everyone. I have friends that have had their kids with epidurals, scheduled C's, and all other. I think it's all good, we all just want that little baby at the end. We're all warriors!!!!!! xoxoxoxoxo
Besides having to be induced I went without pain meds. It went very well and I found I have a high pain tolerance. I mostly did not realize I was in labor until I was in active labor.
I was given pitocin at 8am, had consistent contractions about 5 min apart all day. They broke my water at 5:30pm and I went into active, back labor. About 9:20pm I had to push and 3 pushes and DD was out. So pretty smooth going. I did have an episiotomy but it was no big deal for me.
Most annoying part of the whole thing was being attached to an IV the whole time for fluids, antibiotics, and the pitocin. They also insisted that baby be monitored the whole time and their wireless monitor kept failing so I kept getting hooked back up to cords.
-Why do you want a med-free
birth, and if you've already had one, why do you want to do it again?
I want to do it again because last time went so smoothly and I felt recovery was very easy. That or I was more focused on my crazy infant. I also hate the idea of a needle in my back and with most pain medications I have a low tolerance so I don’t want to feel funny.
-Any techniques for coping with pain? Any you hope to do or study prior to birth?
Not sure I handled it the best last time. When you have those strong contractions you go into your head, so I just tried to ride it out because i knew it didn’t last forever. I hope to use more meditation and mindfulness this time. I also plan to make the room more calm and inviting. The tub was also helpful, I got in the tub at 6cm and came out 20 min later at 10cm and ready to push.
-Questions? Comments? Anything else?
Not at the moment
My first I had planned an epidural and got one at 5cm. It was wonderful for about an hour and then it stopped working. Because I was a "fall risk" having had an epidural, they wouldn't let me get up and move around, even though I could feel and move everything (I squatted over a bedpan, the epi wasn't working). That was horrible.
2nd baby I wanted a med-free. My contractions came very fast from the beginning, every 30 seconds or so. By the time we left for the hospital I was convinced I was getting an epi. I got to the hospital and was a 9 and a few seconds later I was pushing without knowing it. Baby was born minutes later.
-Why do you want a med-free
birth, and if you've already had one, why do you want to do it again?
I've done it both ways and will go for Med-free again because it was empowering, an easy recovery and the impact on breastfeeding.
-Any techniques for coping with pain? Any you hope to do or study prior to birth?
I read a lot of books last time (Ina May, bradley method, Hypnobirthing, birthing from within). Mantras were helpful. Every contraction brings you closer to your baby etc. I liked the ball with my first, my second I liked standing/leaning on a counter and rocking back and forth. I did like pushing on all fours too.
Read a lot and have your mind made up. If you are wishy-washy then you will cave and get the epidural. Also having an epidural is fine. I am not a better mother because I went med-free with one child and not the other.
-STM+, did you attempt and/or have you had a med-free birth before? How did that go?
I was flexible and okay with whatever. I was told when I got to the hospital at 5cm that I would have to sit down through both rounds of my antibiotics (GBS+) before I could walk around. I chose the epidural at that point because the best pain management for me was to walk and use the birthing ball and bath which I had done for 24 hours at home by myself.
-Why do you want a med-free
birth, and if you've already had one, why do you want to do it again? Maybe I’m crazy, but I just feel like I want to experience it. Plus, I do lean towards the side of less meds are of course always more desirable. Also, my back hurt for quite some time after my epi. I also did not like not being able to get out of bed for so long after the epi. I didn’t get the ability to use my legs back for about 10 hours I think.
-Any techniques for coping with pain? Any you hope to do or study prior to birth? I talked to my doctor about not being able to walk around last time and she said if the nurses say that to have them call her because she wouldn’t have advised that. She said it’s not the end of the world if I only get one round of antibiotics in. (I’m already GBS+ again.) I’m hoping that with that factor I will be able to handle the pain with the walking and birthing ball as I did last time. I love some of the comments made above about ridding the waves and not fighting them as well as trying to make it through each stage at a time instead of the whole thing.
-Questions? Comments? Anything else? I’m so damn scared for the pushing. I know for a fact I can get through the contractions if I’m able to walk and move and use the bath but my epi worked so well last time that I had absolutely no pain when pushing. For BTDT moms, was the pushing the worst part?
-Why do you want a med-free birth, and if you've already had one, why do you want to do it again? I had a coworker talking about how she had an epidural, fell asleep, and woke up hours later to a baby. She doesn't remember anything about the birth or the first moments of her daughter's life and that just bothered me so I really didn't want an epidural. I hope to do the same with this labor and go completely without meds if I can. Especially hopeful I can labor on my own walking the halls, sitting on a ball, etc to help the process and ride through contractions rather than watch each one come on a monitor stuck in the bed.
-Any techniques for coping with pain? Any you hope to do or study prior to birth? I did some hypnobirth reading and followed the discs before going into labor with DD. Probably going to break those back out when we get closer and like I mentioned above I'm really hoping to be able to labor on my own, whether that's at home if I go into labor on my own or in the hospital room, rather than be stuck in the bed but only time will tell.
-Questions? Comments? Anything else? I think it might have been previously mentioned but especially for the FTMs remember that no birth is the "right" birth and as long as they all end in a healthy baby & mom that's all that matters. How you get that baby in your arms is just a story to tell later!
With my c-section I had some complications, and a bad reaction to morphine, so I didn’t see my baby right away, and I honestly don’t remember the first day of my daughters life. It’s something that still upsets me to this day, and one of the big reasons I want a natural birth this time.
As for pushing, it was easy for me. It gave me a lot of relief to push and my body at that point just wanted to push so I went with it. I know I didn’t push very long (only 20 min) compared to others but it was like ok here’s the end.
ETA: I could feel the pressure of my body pushing before I realized what was happening. That was the worst because I was trying to work against myself, but once I was like ok I’m pushing her out and went with it, then it was no big deal.
Why do you want a med-free birth, and if you've already had one, why do you want to do it again? I am going to attempt it again, not because I am opposed to the epidural, I'm just a bit scared about having the same experience. Even though it wasn't scary for me in the moment since I was so out of it, I do think that the epinephrine slowed my milk coming in. I'd just like to avoid the cascade of interventions i had last time - many of which were out of my control since my water broke early.
Any techniques for coping with pain? Any you hope to do or study prior to birth? My husband and I did a birth class and I got the Hypnobabies CDs but I honestly wasn't very good about preparing myself. I still have the CDs so I'll try to do more to prep myself this time around. Last time I just tensed up with every contraction, I need to work on coping methods so I can relax through them better. And hope that my water doesn't break early this time!
Questions? Comments? Anything else? Nope!
If you're really hoping to avoid that, it might be worth discussing with your providers about their policies on how quickly you have to go into labor and how flexible they are if you're not getting an infection or even shopping around for different providers if that's an option.
ETA: To clarify, I really liked my providers - they were very patient and talked me through everything. It was just an unfortunate set of circumstances that I wasn't progressing on my own after my water broke. I don't regret asking for the epidural because I was completely exhausted by that point and I didn't have the stamina to keep going.
With my first I was in labor off and on for like three days. I finally got an epidural at 8cm because I was so darn tired. It was the best choice but it made pushing really hard and I was really close to needing a c-section.
With my second I was able to deliver completely med free. Labor was much faster and more manageable and it was a very empowering experience.
-Why do you want a med-free
birth, and if you've already had one, why do you want to do it again?
I would love a repeat of my second’s birth. Thought hopefully with less than an hour of pushing. 😝 I was very present and will never forget holding her the second she emerged.
-Any techniques for coping with pain? Any you hope to do or study prior to birth?
I used the tub at my hospital which was glorious. I also used a birthing stool and I definitely think that was the best position for me.
-Questions? Comments? Anything else?
-Why do you want a med-free
birth, and if you've already had one, why do you want to do it again?
I haven't decided yet if I want to do a RCS or attempt a VBAC. I feel like if I get a VBAC I need to try med free again to avoid the cascade of interventions.
-Any techniques for coping with pain? Any you hope to do or study prior to birth?
I recommend reading Ina May Gaskin's Guide to Childbirth, which is like the bible for going med free. I also thought the Bradley method book had good information about the emotions that accompany the different stages of birth.
Also, do lots of squatting exercises, sitting on the exercise ball, and walking to help get baby into good position. Unfortunately I lost a lot of progress getting baby lined up right because I fell asleep after my epidural and laid on my side for four hours.
-Questions? Comments? Anything else?
Just some additional advice:
-It sounds hard, but if you think you're starting labor, try to get some sleep. You have a long journey ahead of you. Lack of sleep was a big reason I suspect I didn't make it.
-If you're birthing in a hospital, stay at home as long as you can. Once you get to the hospital, you have to be hooked up to monitors that really limit your mobility (just my experience)
-If you're birthing at a hospital, get a doula. The nurses do their best, but their main focus is not coaching you through a med free delivery (again, just my experience)
-Just to echo what others have said, no matter what happens, you did a good job. Going through labor has positive benefits for baby, even if they're later delivered via c section. I was very worried that c section would make breastfeeding more difficult, but it didn't. I was worried the recovery would prevent me from being a good mom in the first few days, but it didn't. I do have some regrets (just that I would've been more well rested and had a doula) but the end result is the same either way. I have DS and he's the best!
birth, and if you've already had one, why do you want to do it again?
I read a national institute of health study that there are less complications in med free births.
-Any techniques for coping with pain? Any you hope to do or study prior to birth?
My husband and I are going to do the Bradley method classes starting 10/15. I'm reading Birthing From Within which I have to say is kind of hippy dippy to me. I'm listening to hypnobirthing from YouTube which actually seems less foreign to me than Birthing From Within. Also want to exercise and do the perianal massage in the third trimester.
-Questions? Comments? Anything else?
Thank you to all the STMs who shared their experiences. All of them were really helpful. You all are awesome!
@lelkcot @lovesclimbing So if I’m reading between the lines the transition stage is what I really need to prepare myself for mentally? The active labor seemed manageable ( well I only got to 5 on my own so I may be lying to myself) but it seemed manageable. I was tired after having contractions for 24 hours straight but I do feel that when I was walking around I could stretch through the pain even when my contractions were a minute apart.
Natural labor was pretty easy for me to cope with. With speedy/induction labor, this might count as meditation but with every contraction wave I said a Hail Mary prayer out loud. It was the only thing I could think of that helped at the time! I must've said a couple full rosaries!
Crowning hurt, no joke, birth was intense. Glad I did it. I plan to put the two together this time! I'm interested in the techniques others use to deal with pain... like is Hypnobabies a real thing that works?? that sort of thing.
I pray I can be lucky for my 2nd VBAC with boy #2! I don't have the same level of partner support and I am a big more nervous this time. My ex-husband who is still my best friend did state he'd be there with me during labor and delivery. We were together 13 years and we dumbly broke up and divorced only to become each others best friends. I happened to get pregnant right away by a guy I started dating who I always crushed on, on Facebook for like 4 years. The whole situation is a mess. So I will be lucky to get my VBAC unmedicated this time.
No, I had a planned epidural with my DD. I had no desire to attempt a natural birth, especially after my water broke and I had back labour and contractions basically non-stop. It was excruciating!
-Why do you want a med-free
birth, and if you've already had one, why do you want to do it again?
While my birth with my DD went "well" (meaning she and I emerged healthy!), I suffer from pelvic floor / pelvic organ related issues as a result of the birth. Because she was sunny side up, and I had an epidural, and was flat on my back, it took nearly 4 hours of purple pushing to get her out. I also required an episiotomy. That amount of intense pushing is just not good for all of your internal pelvic organs and I live in some discomfort (near daily) as a result. The episiotomy was very difficult to recover from - it didn't heal for a few months (at my 8 week postpartum appointment, it was still bugging me and the stitches hadn't dissolved yet). This time I want to be able to avoid purple pushing completely (I want to let my body push and I want to only push when I truly feel I need to) and I'm hoping to avoid an episiotomy - I feel the best way to achieve these goals is to go med free so I can retain my ability to move around, change positions, and feel when I need to push.
-Any techniques for coping with pain? Any you hope to do or study prior to birth?
I am definitely a bit nervous about going med free especially since the stakes are a bit high (I've been told the chance of reinjuring or worsening my current pelvic issues is high so I'm desperate to have a smooth birth experience with minimal pushing, cutting or tearing). To help me meet my goal, I've hired a doula and I plan to read and mentally prepare a lot, starting right away! I'll be checking out Ina May's book and combing this thread for other suggestions or recommendations!
-Questions? Comments? Anything else?
Nothing yet, really, but please keep the tips and suggestions coming!! I'll be heading to the library next week to check out some of the Ina May and Bradley method books.
Yes, transition is the point that most women start to doubt that they can do it (it was for me). Natural labor was a pretty manageable wave ride for me, but once I got to 6cm and my water broke naturally, that's when the intensity kicked in and my med-free story ended with VBAC #1. For VBAC#2 my water was broken early in the morning by the doctor to get labor started (that was not fun and I don't recommend it) but once the Pitocin kicked in, it was like all transition labor for me, intense. Right at about 9cm, before I was almost ready to push was when I started to doubt but Dr. told me I was so close and already doing it, so I just pushed on through. (Literally). Pushing wasn't too bad for me. Without pain meds, I was surprised how strong the urge to push really is, at that point you're just following your body's lead. Pretty cool. The hardest point of pushing for me was when she crowned and when her head was out. Ouch!
My question is: for moms who have attended a Hypno-birthing and/or Bradley Method course which would you recommend or what did you think of the classes?
I plan to do some more research on the differences and I checked out both books from the library, but I live a rural where there are not many options for birthing classes and the hypno-birthing class starts soon. I'd just love some real mom advice for what you thought about either class and whether or not they ended up being helpful in your birth experience.
STMs thanks for all the advice, insight and info about med-free births.
I wanted to attempt med free with my first. Basically, my water broke, contractions started full on, and we went right in, got checked about 40 min later at a 6, moved right back and checked again about 20 min later and it was an 8. I thought I was going to die. My contractions were 1 min every other min and I got no rest. And after 4 months of bedrest I was too deconditioned to handle it. I was so happy to have an epidural. I really felt like the baby was coming too quickly and I would really tear a lot. It was the right decision for me at the time. Her birth was the best part of the pregnancy. Water broke and out safely in a few hours.
-Why do you want a med-free birth, and if you've already had one, why do you want to do it again?
I don't know if it'll be right for me. But I will try and be open to either one. It would be much different to have a slower labor and be able to use the tub, different techniques, etc.
-Any techniques for coping with pain? Any you hope to do or study prior to birth?
Other than water, I can't remember what I've read that I really wanted to try. I'll read more on it as it gets closer...
STM+, did you attempt and/or have you had a med-free birth before? How did that go? Two med-free births. The first was much more intense than the second. With my first baby I had the mindset that I could do this like millions of women who came before me. I was scared but knew my body could do it. (I used to have really bad periods with debilitating cramps that hurt so much I would vomit from the pain or be writhing in bed for days. Labor was a thousand times worse than that the first time. I also was a long-distance runner and thought I knew about pain & endurance. Labor was on a whole other level for me, almost outside of reality.)
I was ten days past estimated due date. I lost my mucus plug in the morning so I went grocery shopping to prepare for the impending birth. That night I walked two miles on the beach under a full moon w two of my sisters, sat down in the car after our walk & my water broke in my seat at 8 pm. I labored at home till 2 am, just pacing the house & yard. Got to the hospital, labored on all fours in the bed & walked my room for 2 hours. My mom made me drink iced raspberry leaf tea & made me eat vegetable soup for strength & hydration, which is why I didn’t need an IV. I would fall into a deep deep sleep between contractions (it felt like hours of the sweetest sleep I ever had but it was mere minutes). In this half-sleep-state I felt that I was floating in the middle of the silent black universe and maybe I was dead and I was totally at peace with that idea. Then another excruciating contraction would call me back to earth and I’d breathe & moan through it. The doctor arrived at 5 am, checked me roughly, and announced I had a long ways to go. He and the nurses left. My mom and aunty midwife felt that the baby should’ve come by now by the stages I was progressing through/sounds I was making, but they could see I was still carrying the baby very high. (I was too modest & private at that time to let either of them check me internally.) When these intense contractions became closer together the midwives told me to go sit on the toilet to get the baby to drop. I did, she dropped instantly into the birth canal, and I felt that I was being stabbed in half from the inside & couldn’t get off the toilet. They carried me to the bed, laid me on my side and told me to push. I started calling “Give me the drugs! I can’t do it!” They reassured me I was transitioning and baby would be here any minute. I thought they were lying but 10 minutes and a few pushes later and she was out at 5:15 am. My mom caught the baby, my doctor wasn’t even in the room. (When she was born baby had a red bruise on her eyebrow where her brow bone had been stuck against my pubic bone, which is why she didn’t descend until I changed position on the toilet.) Pushing definitely was the relieving part after the intense transition phase; I actually felt numb down there during pushing. I checked out of the hospital 5 hours after delivery. But I felt like I’d gone through the toughest workout of my life and was sore in every muscle for about two weeks. I did tear and needed stitches but that was nothing compared to labor. I healed just fine. My mom was at my house doing everything for me for about two weeks after delivery & that was bliss. After that birth experience I felt super empowered and like there was nothing on this earth that could ever stop me. And I never had bad period cramps again after her delivery, so that was a serious plus.
With my second baby (many years later) I was again ten days past estimated due date. I lost my mucus plug in the morning but didn’t have contractions until the next morning. I went to the beach with my doula sister, even went swimming, and began to have stronger contractions when we got home around 12 pm. They were like average period cramps. Labor never got bad. I breathed through each one, imagining my little baby descending gently down into the birth canal. I would get down on all fours on pillows in the living room (fully clothed) & hubby rubbed my lower back through each contraction. I would say after each one, “Wow, that wasn’t that bad! This is easy!” I kept expecting it to be excruciating like my first birth but that never happened. I drank iced raspberry leaf tea, ate vegetable soup, felt great. Finally, around 4:30 pm, my midwife aunty asked if I wanted her to check my progress before we went to the hospital. I laid down on the bed, she checked me, and her eyes opened big. “You’re already at 5 centimeters!” I sat up & my water broke. My intense contractions started immediately right there. She called urgently to my husband & sister, “Get in the car!” We only made it a block down my steeet when I said, “Stop the car, I have to get out & walk through this contraction!” I didn’t want to get back in the car but my aunty said we couldn’t stop the car again because if I kept doing that I would have the baby in the street. For the rest of the ride I kneeled in the backseat, facing backward and looking out the back window at the sky. I also stared at a beautiful picture of my deceased mother, smiling in her prime, that was propped up in the very back of the SUV with my hospital bag. It was supposed to be my focal point in the hospital room. I could feel the baby moving down and was calling out to my mother to help me, help me keep this baby in! I was moaning on the ride, but in my own world, in that other-reality that only labor brings on. We got to the hospital 35 minutes later, were rushed into the only private room in the emergency room, I got on the bed on all fours, my doctor walked in putting on her gloves and said, “If you’re ready, this baby’s ready!” Three pushes; I was numb & only felt the moment of crowning as painful, then she was out. Just 43 minutes after my water broke! Next, we were taken upstairs to the L&D ward to get cleaned up, check vitals, etc. We checked out of the hospital 5 or 6 hours later. I also tore with her birth & needed stitches, but again, no biggie compared to transition & crowning. I healed great from this delivery and was walking around doing normal household stuff two days later. I was actually shocked that it hadn’t been more difficult. I expected it to feel more like the intensity of my first labor & delivery. I thought I’d go out to that mystery place of deep sleep/black universe/“am I dead?” other-reality but none of that happened in the second labor. I was fully present and in each moment—except those final moments of transition in the car!
Why do you want a med-free
birth, and if you've already had one, why do you want to do it again? I believe it’s totally normal & natural, and that it’s best for both baby and mama. It’s the single most human and empowering thing I’ve ever experienced.
Any techniques for coping with pain? Any you hope to do or study prior to birth? I read some of Ina May’s books my first time and read “Birthing From Within” for my second pregnancy. It was a bit hippy-dippy, as someone else mentioned, but really hit home for me that many women experience the same thing I did with being out of their bodies or thinking they had died and actually welcoming the idea. The author documented that many women in labor can feel all the other women around the world who are laboring at the same time, or feel themselves united with women who’ve labored throughout history, and this solidarity gives them strength. It made my experience feel more normal and less scary, like I could welcome that part of it happening again or other hallucinations as just a normal part of laboring. “Birthing From Within” also helped me with visualizing what was happening at each stage of labor so I could mentally embrace the contraction as a “wave of energy” that was helping my sweet baby make her descent from the womb into the world. Going with the flow of each contraction instead of fearing it helped me have a much easier second labor.
-Questions? Comments? Anything else? I just want to encourage all of you that you CAN do it. Many of you are testament to the possibility of successful VBACs, etc. Like so many of you said, you just have to make up your mind to have a med-free birth and be ready to stick to it when the going gets tough. Have a doula if you can so they can stand up for your wishes when you’re too out of it to stand up for yourself. Watch real birth videos so you know what the normal birthing sounds and feelings are—it’s not like in the movies or on TV at all. Don’t be afraid to let loose—the experience of natural childbirth is probably the most primal thing we could ever experience in this life. Our bodies were made to do this. It is normal for labor to take 2-3 days sometimes. Stay at home as long as you safely can to avoid unnecessary interventions.
And remember that a healthy baby is all that matters in the end. It’s normal to have regrets after birth so just be open-minded to all possibilities. (I’m even preparing myself for the possibility of a c-section just because they want to induce me early due to age; I know the reality that one thing may lead to another.) Having an open mind will help us all deal with whatever the outcomes are of our individual stories. Best of luck to everyone!
I wanted to with #1, but did not prepare at all. I took a hospital birth class and planned to just stick to my guns...cascade of interventions and cs.
With #2, I was convinced that I would have been better with #1 if I just stayed home, so I planned a home vbac. And it was amazing.
To be fair, I actually enjoy the birthing process, I only got an epidural with #1 because I wasn’t progressing and they suggested it to sleep...it made me feel like I lost all will to go on, baby’s heart rate dropped and they “called it”.
-Why do you want a med-free
birth, and if you've already had one, why do you want to do it again?
I want to do it again because I can honestly say I’ve never felt more amazing in my life than those moments after my second’s birth. It’s a high that is impossible to explain. I still look at my pictures on bad days to remember just how incredible I felt.
-Any techniques for coping with pain? Any you hope to do or study prior to birth?
Hypnobabies is my thing. I’ve seen some really amazing births with it. Last time I did hypnobirthing but listened to the vbac stuff from Hypnobabies...I actually didn’t know that Hypnobabies had a full class. This time I’ve already started doing my Hypnobabies practices. I love affirmations, and that’s been carrying me through some of the complications we have had.
-Questions? Comments? Anything else?
advice?
#1 provider is important, not all providers care to help you succeed with this goal. And some hospitals really don’t “do” natural birth, period.
#2 stay at home as long as possible, and really consider home birth if you want med-free. It’s actually a lot safer than most people think.
#3 get educated, take a class outside of the hospital, I personally recommend Hypnobabies, but anything from a certified CBE group is going to be better than what the hospital has to offer.
#4 consider a Doula, particularly if you haven’t had a med free birth before. Better yet, ask them which providers are the “go to” places for succeeding, and listen.
Attempted med-free with DS1. I was induced and made it 20hrs before the barfing from pain with every contraction (thanks pitocin) got to be too much. Got an epi that failed. Half my body was numb, the other half was a painful pins and needles on top of contractions feeling. This went on for 24hrs. When in hit transition I had the epi turned off. Went 4 hours, 3 of them pushing trying to get him down from a -3 station, without meds but by that point I was so exhausted I don’t remember much in the way of pain.
With DS2 I unknowingly labored at home til I was 9cm. I slept through most of it, from about 10pm-5am when I couldn’t lay down anymore. I was convinced that I was only going to be 4cm when we got to the hospital because I didn’t hurt as bad as with DS1. I was shocked when they said I was 9cm with a bulging bag. Broke my water at 8:30am and at 9:42 after 3 pushes he was out. I couldn’t believe how much easier it was than the first time around.
-Why do you want a med-free
birth, and if you've already had one, why do you want to do it again?
See above but TL;DR failed epi with DS1 and quick easy labor with DS2 and I’m all about med-free.
-Any techniques for coping with pain? Any you hope to do or study prior to birth?
Walking and moving around helped a lot with DS2. I was bed bound for 48+ hrs with DS1 and I was f***ing miserable. Being able to get up, change position, sit on different furniture helped a lot. Also, allllllll the tennis ball back rubs. Back labor is a real b*tch.
-Questions? Comments? Anything else?
My only comment is that I hope this time I get the water birth I wanted the first 2 times. I was thisclose with DS2 but when they broke my water they could tell he pooped and they won’t let you in that case for the risk of infection. Would also help if my kids decided to not hang out an “extra” 9-10 days
DS1: 9.6.12**DS2: 12.22.14
CP1: 6/17 @4w4d
CP2: 9/17 @4w3d
CP3: 2/18 @5w
Rainbow Baby On Board
<a href="https://babysizer.com/geeky"><img src="https://babysizer.com/geeky-2019-03-08.jpg" alt="Babysizer Geeky Pregnancy Tracker"></a>
-Why do you want a med-free
birth, and if you've already had one, why do you want to do it again? I had three very different, but great experiences. BUT this time I am living in the Czech republic, and home birth or birth centers are illegal so I HAVE to be at a hospital and they make decisions for you here. I'm hoping to get there at the last minute, granted I don't have to be induced again. (Although I've been on bedrest this whole time for a hematoma, which makes the risk for preterm labor go up so we'll see.)
-Any techniques for coping with pain? Any you hope to do or study prior to birth? I practice breathing and relaxing muscles one at a time beforehand. And during labor I just walk and walk and walk through the pain. It helps labor progress too.
-Questions? Comments? Anything else? Women have done this for thousands of years-you can too.
So I decided to read through this thread, and let me tell you STM ladies, each and every one of your unique stories is so inspiring and empowering (and I'm not going to lie.. slightly terrifying) to hear. You're all warriors. Thank you for sharing your stories!