PAIF Graduates - New Mommies - September 2018

JWatt5 · September 2018

@Hopeful_mom - they all seem to eat different amounts. Parker’s a big kid and he was eating 28oz around 3-4m. We always fed on demand as well - no strict schedule. As long as the babies are growing and healthy right!

Polythene Pam · September 2018

@mtpbadger just outside Milwaukee, where is your family? It’s not bad yet but we definitely busted out the hats etc for an afternoon outside on Friday!

mbradfo2 · September 2018

@Polythene Pam
Ah, yes, Target dates!
I have one scheduled tomorrow....we'll see how many things I don't really need I come home with this time....

mtpbadger · September 2018

@Polythene Pam they live just outside of Superior and my parents live in Minneapolis. My sister said ppl had to break out their winter coats this week. She’s enjoying the weather in DC much better...70s and sun!

Polythene Pam · September 2018

@mtpbadger yes that’s a cold area! Haha! I don’t mind it but come March/April I’m over it every year

especially last year with a mid April blizzard. Did you grow up in Minn then? I remember you had the WI connection, small world

mtpbadger · September 2018

Yup! Grew up in just west of Minneapolis and went to college (undergrad and grad) in Madison. I miss the Midwest!

hottietoddy · September 2018

Thank you everyone for the kind words and sharing regarding the only child question. It really helps to hear other women who have gone through IF or hard pregnancies takes on it. It sounds to me like it is really a mixed bag of emotions that I am in for. Even if we are happy with one the door closing will be an emotional thing and might be hard. But I could see 2 kids if we aren't 100% gung ho being difficult in different ways. Challenging is a better word I guess. Anyway, your perspectives have helped me understand my feelings more that this may not be a black and white decision but more of a grey scale thing...

Had my second bff from Highschool over today to meet William and it was so fun! I was pumping and just pulled out my boob in front of her not thinking!! Haha she has 2 kids and breast fed so didn't bat an eyelash, plus we were like sisters growing up- but still I need to note when I have company more! Haha

@2MomsHoping those announcements are totes adorbs! Your photos are beautiful

gfgrump · September 2018

Hi ladies,
Sorry I've been MIA but I have been reading and keeping up with you all. Just been a little consumed with managing this baby. Actually got out on Thursday and Friday to meet some new moms and go to a breastfeeding support group. I'm starting to feeling about halfway like myself again. The sleeping is still hovering at 2.5-3 hours at a time most of the night, but I'm either just more used to it or I'm getting enough of those blocks plus usually a nap during the day that I don't feel like a hollow shell. So, you know, that's good.
DH continues to drive me crazy, but I'm tired of fighting so trying not to engage too often. It's just his anxiety that's hard to deal with, and the baby is really young, so I don't want to have him in any crowded spaces either. But now, it's like, he's worried about work people coming by to visit bc I stupidly told him that I read some of my work email and that there's was a flu going around. And then he's worried about others coming, so the effect is leaving me feeling pretty isolated. Anyway, going to try to get out to some other baby things this week. And hopefully in the next week or so his immune system will be stronger and we can relax a little. Oh and other big update, I figured out the Moby and it was a life saver last night when he just wouldn't allow us to put him down from 5:30-9. My shoulders were aching by the end, but definitely gave my arms a rest. DH decided he "might be getting sick" and thus wasn't helping me. Not to keep complaining about my husband, bc he is doing laundry, the diapers and making the food, but does anyone else feel like they're doing most of the heavy lifting? I'm assuming it will get better when he's a little older and will be more soothed by Daddy, but my god, I'm just like, can I get a little help with this screaming baby? I feel like he tries to soothe him for about 5 min and then gives up. Or maybe I just come in and take over, idk.
@hottietoddy William is so cute! Those pictures are awesome. Love the little chalkboard.
@2MomsHoping Halloween sounds super fun. I wanted to bring the baby to the school parade, but I don't know if DH is going to let me. It's outside, but he's so anxious about sickness, idk. Love your announcement. I really want to make our soon. And that hair! Amazing.
@Polythene Pam I'm laughing about your trip to target. I totally get it. Now anytime alone to do anything is a luxury. So far I've gone as far as the library (4 blocks away). I wanted to go by a street fair this afternoon, but I feel like I can't leave my husband with the baby without any food and I haven't started pumping and I don't know when he's going to wake up. Oh well, I guess that's parent life, not getting to do things you'd like to do.
@JWatt5 I think it's so great that you're going to start trying again. I think about it all the time. I don't feel like it's worth it/an option to go through IVF again. I'm 39, we'd need to do PGD and PGS and I just don't want to go through all that again. Plus, this is so hard, how do people do it more than once? Otoh, I really hate the idea of Josey not having siblings, having to deal with aging parents by himself. Also, I'm the youngest of 4 and i really loved having siblings. But I think about adoption a lot, but it's not like that's cheap or easy either. Idk. It's hard bc we have 3 frozen embies, but they're BRCA+ female, and it just feels too stressful to do that to my child. I know it's very polarizing, but thinking ahed to my own surgeries that I'll need to do in the next couple of years, I just don't feel good about doing that to a child knowingly. And I had the realization this morning around 4:30 that I really need to do them bc I have to be around for my child. My boobs are secondary. But sadly so will be my sexual pleasure- TMI! Oh well, the thought of sex right now seems pretty far off.
I think I'm getting a copper IUD put in at my post-partum appt to help with my endo and also just bc the thought of some tiny miniscule chance of ending up pregnant in less than a year just seems insane. Especially with the c-section and all.

2MomsHoping · October 2018

@Polythene Pam we are practically neighbors. We live in Chicago. My parents moved up to Wisconsin a couple years ago but they are father up north near the dells.

@mtpbadger I went to college in mn but attended some holloween parties in Madison a few times. I remember being in awe it was like the whole city was a college party. Now I nearly finish a glass of wine. Oh youth.

@hottietoddy I think motherhood really throws the modesty out the window sometimes. I’m generally pretty modest and when I was pumping I was in parking lots getting situated and likely flashing strangers without a care.

Im going in to the doctor tomorrow for my 6 week checkup and I’m beyond thrilled to be going in. My breast has not gotten better. I think the milk dried up right when the mastitis hit so the infection can’t flush out. I left it too long before staring the antibiotics and after being on them a week the lump has gotten bigger. Maybe I have a resistent strain or something. I just couldn’t bring myself to pump today. I have blisters because the skin is messed up due to the pump friction on the swelling and it feels like needles stabbing but nothing really comes out. I’m a hot mess. DW was trying to convince me to go to the ER yesterday but I’m worried it’s an abscess and I don’t want a resident cutting up my boob. I made a deal that as long as my temp didn’t run to high she would allow me my stubbornness and my vanity.

JWatt5 · October 2018

@gfgrump - I had the IUD put in for my endo and it’s been amazing!!!! Highly suggest. Also watch DH for Postpartum - they can get it too. My DH went through a form of it pretty bad.

Holls214 · October 2018

@2MomsHoping I absolutely love your pictures! So sorry to hear about your boob, hoping it’s nothing serious...

Baby boy screamed for 3 hours straight this evening. That was fun... I’m mentally drained. Now he’s finally sleeping but not counting on that lasting too long. Hopefully it does.

Polythene Pam · October 2018

@gfgrump Graham was born into literally a sick house last November - everyone was on antibiotics, my daughter brought home every bug from school and was our sickest year yet, it was terrible. But I just wore him, didn’t let others touch him (I had school pickup/drop off so daily trips around tons of kids with him), and I was nursing so I have no clue if that helped. He shockingly didn’t get sick till just recently, but don’t feel like you need to hole up all winter.. wear him, or keep him in a covered car seat, lots of hand washing.. everything gets more normal!

Polythene Pam · October 2018

@2MomsHoping hi neighbor!! We love Chicago! Almost went there for our IVF

I hope your appt goes well and that you get some relief, keep us posted

@Holls214 pretty sure my daughter was bordering colic, if he does that again, don’t feel bad putting him in a safe place (crib, swing) and walking away to breathe. My patience was beyond tested with my daughter. She still has a scream that’ll come when she’s beyond mad, we are definitely trying to cut that out for sanity..

cashewchicken · October 2018

Wow, so much happening on the board! I love it!

Congrats to all the new mamas!

@Holls214 I'm sorry that you're in pain, but I'm glad that you finally got a diagnosis. I hope you get relief from your pain soon.

@mbradfo2 I got the Ingenuity booster seat too, thanks to @Jwatt5's recommendation. I love how you can store the tray and the back support extender thing all in the seat so that they don't get lost. As for high chair, we have Peg Perego's Siesta chair. We got it as a gift from a friend of ours and we love it. We have yet to use it as a high chair, we are currently using it as a daybed for him to take naps in. He HATES sleeping on a flat surface for some reason but he seems to enjoy sleeping in this high chair. And yay on Anne getting her second tooth!

@safire3 It's awful that your mom is threatening about your baby being abused. Like what others have already said, you can't spoil a baby. Maybe you shouldn't listen to me as my baby doesn't sleep through the night and he's 6 months old, but I don't let my baby cry it out. Maybe a couple of minutes but nothing more. My boy's a happy baby now and he rarely cries during the day and I don't anticipate having a huge problem at daycare (he's starting daycare this month... gulp), though I could be wrong.

@persnickity Congrats on stopping pumping! Donated 8.8 gallons? That's amazing.

@JWatt5 How exciting! My DH and I have already had the conversation on #2 and we will likely start again after my guy turns 1. Hope it doesn't take long for you to have #2!

@Hopeful_mom My guy is fed on demand and had had an erratic feeding schedule since I've gone back to work, but on average he eats about 4 oz every 3 hours, so about 32 oz a day, I think. It's hard to tell with bf but he drinks about 12-14 oz of pumped milk from 9am until 5pm, and then drinks roughly 4 oz every 3 hours (based on how much I pump from each breast on average) from 6pm until 6 am. I read somewhere that bf babies don't necessarily increase the amount of milk they drink as they get older. They ramp up the first month but from 1-6 months they tend to drink about the same throughout. That has been my experience with my son, too.

@hottietoddy and @2MomsHoping Your babies are adorable! Gosh I wish I had done a nice photo shoot of my son when he was a newborn. Oh well. Thinking about doing one soon though.

@gfgrump Wait, there's a flu going around already? Do you live in SF Bay Area? We may have delivered at the same hospital; I recognized the hospital blanket in the picture of your son (he's adorable btw). I need to get a flu shot soon then.

My son turned 6 months today! And he has his 6-month appointment tomorrow. Lots of shots. Oh fun. We are also going to his day care for his orientation and meeting his teacher, so that's exciting. Ladies, do you have any recommendation for a backpack to carry all his baby stuff? I use a backpack now (SkipHop's Forma backpack I love it!) when we go out with him, but I'm sort of looking for something cute for him, yet functional that fits all his stuff like diapers, bottles and change of clothes.

JWatt5 · October 2018

@cashewchicken - I love my Forma backpack too!! We got Parker a little skip hop backpack for his stuff. I was looking at the little Herschel ones too though. Maybe switch him to that when he starts school someday but we wanted something cute - got the Panda one.

mbradfo2 · October 2018

@gfgrump
If it helps at all, my husband was also very anxious in regards to the baby initially -- he didn't want us to go to my niece's birthday party when she was 1 month old (even though it was just immediate family there -- my parents, sister and her daughters who all already met the baby....both of my nieces actually visited us in the hospital and my oldest niece brought the baby a birthday card!). So that was an argument (and then he was grumpy when we were there since he agreed to 'pop in'). And a bunch of other things like that -- little stuff that we quibbled over. I bought an outfit for Anne that had a little multi-colored tutu (thought she would wear it to the party or take some pics) and he flipped out and said 'he didn't want his daughter dressed up like a doll and why would I buy something that stupid?' /sigh

It's improved greatly as she got older and he's become more comfortable in his role.

@cashewchicken
I've found the Disney kids backpacks to be very nicely made with a decent amount of space and all sorts of fun styles. My sister uses a minnie backpack for her girls' things. The only issue I've found with kids backpacks is the number of pockets and the amount of space seems to be more limited. So my sister ends up toting the kid backpack plus another diaper bag for longer trips.

I use a jujube tokidoki structured bag (rather than a tote) and while it looks like an ordinary handbag, it's pretty spacious! it can fit 2 bottles in the little bottle holders in the main compartment (little elastic bands to hold the bottles steady) as well as several diapers, a thick bib/burp cloth and a set of clothes PLUS all of my junk -- keys, wallet, phone. And then you still have the 4 side compartments for little things like pacies, teethers, wipes, etc. The one I have isn't available anymore, sadly ('be classy' structured bag) but they have some nice backpacks. The material is also the smooth polyester kind you can easily clean with a wipe.

I actually keep my stuff in a separate clutch that I just toss into the diaper bag and take out if I want to leave the bag with the baby at my parents' or something like that. Makes it really simple.

2MomsHoping · October 2018

@cashewchicken there is no bad time to do a baby photo shoot! I want to do a mini session in November for our Christmas cards. With minis you get fewer shots but are way more affordable.

mbradfo2 · October 2018

@2MomsHoping
Once Anne is a more stable sitter, I plan on getting a nice family photoshoot done. She's still wobbly now but I'm sure we'll be looking at a Christmas type shoot. I have no idea what they cost though...last time I had a professional photo shoot, it was for my wedding! I'm assuming 200+??? I could be way off.

2MomsHoping · October 2018

@mbradfo2 for a full on shoot it varies a ton. When I was researching newborn in Home photographers most were in the $600-800 range which was very jarring. BUT Many photographers have things called mini sessions. They basically go to a location usually a Saturday at a park or they rent a studio space and book people one after another so they only do a few poses for like a half hour and you get to pick just a few shots. Those are usually much less expensive like 100-150.

gfgrump · October 2018

@cashewchicken I am in sf. I'm not 100% that there's a flu epidemic. All I know its I saw something on my written email about a ton of kids and staff going down with a big. And when we were trying to call our clinic there was a recoded message about longer than normal wait times to talk to the advice nurse BC of flu season. So, idk. But my crazy anxious husband wouldn't go outside for days as a result. Oy. I'm like it's going to be flu season all winter long!

persnickity · October 2018

@gfgrump Does he have general anxiety normally or is this new? Like @JWatt5 said, husbands can get postpartum anxiety too. The problem is that they don't want to get help sometimes. If this is new or worse than usual, he should talk to a doctor. Some level is normal, I mean most new parents worry about their newborn getting sick for the first time. But at some point, it crosses a line.

@2MomsHoping really hoping everything gets better with your boobs soon. That sounds so terrible!!

gfgrump · October 2018

@persnickity yes he already has anxiety, along with some ocd and other stuff. After our loss and then during the pregnancy it got a lot worse. He kept assuring me it would get better once the baby was here but of course it hasn't. He tried to find a therapist that would take our insurance and its basically impossible. And unfortunately we really can't afford $200/ hour right now as he's barely worked in months. Somehow we're getting by, and he's got a few things lined up for the end of the month, but we really need that money just to live. So we continue to live with this. I think both being home is just putting us over the edge. We're just at each others throats. Ugh, it sux.

persnickity · October 2018

@gfgrump does he have techniques from any previous therapy sessions that he can use or you guys can use together? I know there are a lot of coping strategies out there. Even if he can't see anyone, using them together or with a journal can help.

mbradfo2 · October 2018

@gfgrump
I suffer from (Well-controlled) anxiety and mild OCD but I know that whenever I'm "over" a certain worry, another one will present itself! Therapy can be helpful, but often OCD is chemically mediated and meds help more. I've been stable on prozac and the occasional benzo for a panic attack for 5+ years now. I hope he gets what he needs so he can be more comfortable and enjoy baby more!

JWatt5 · October 2018

@gfgrump - I completely get the being at each other's throats just being home together. DH lost is job and was home with us for 3 months when Parker was 5m, the first two weeks were awesome and then things went down hill for a bit. On top is also having a new baby, new dynamic and a whole new level of tired. We didn't have much money at that time for a therapist either (I was on Mat Leave and he had no job) but our doctor was able to get us referred to a postpartum clinic (both of us) for the anxiety. Maybe your doctor can help out with something that like that could be free or even at a lesser cost. Then go from there...more therapy, meds maybe - even vitamins. Not sure where you live but DH gets a bad case of SAD (seasonal depression) with our now dreary fall/winter in Canada and then the baby, just pushed him to a place he'd never been and I'm glad we got some help.

PAIF Graduates - New Mommies - September 2018

Re: PAIF Graduates - New Mommies - September 2018

Choose Another Board

Search Boards