@msb615 no, but insurance doesn’t cover for it. We would not terminate regardless, but I absolutely understand why others would. It’s no easy decision either way, for sure. Especially when you have other children because the next baby could seriously impact their lives if something is amiss.
We’ve told people we would want support from if something happened @peachy13 and maybe a few others. We saw a good strong HB last week so that made me comfortable with telling friends and family. We’ll announce publicly on Halloween at 13 weeks.
@msb615 I had genetic testing with DS and scheduled it for this baby with my doctor today at my intake appointment. I’m 37 so insurance pays for it. We want to be prepared if our baby needs some kind of medical intervention at birth. I’m a planner so if our child has a special need I want to have done my research and have everything we need at birth.
Definitely will have genetic testing/screening, and this maybe an UO but I'd definitely terminate if there were genetic issues not compatible with life.
Agree. One of DH's coworkers carried a Trisomy baby to term that they knew wouldn't live far beyond birth, and someone l went to school with carried an anencephaly baby (not for the faint of heart). Both situations were heartbreaking, and I cant imagine putting myself and my kids through that.
It's definitely a UO, but I would probably terminate if I got a confirmed Downs diagnosis as well.
Genetic testing around 12 weeks (blood test plus NT scan) is standard in the state of California and more of an "opt out" thing than opt in. It revealed I was a carrier for cystic fibrosis which was super stressful until DH was able to get his blood test and confirmation he was not a carrier (2 weeks). I suppose we could have gone around not knowing I was a carrier but if we were both carriers, I would've wanted to know so I, personally, am glad that we did it. There's a small window within which the NT scan can detect abnormalities and then less is able to be determined at the anatomy scan (for a few specific disorders). I'm an information junkie, though, so would want to have as much info as possible if something were to come up. It's very personal.
I used to tell myself that I'd for sure terminate if that happened to me. But now that I'm actually really thinking about it, I'm not sure if I would be able to. I think if the doctor told me that the baby wouldn't survive after birth then yes, that'd be an easier situation. But if it was Downs where the child has a good chance at life, I have no idea what I'd do. Last pregnancy, I used the excuse of having relatives with genetic conditions as an awesome opportunity to having the insurance pay for it so I can find out early what the sex of the baby is! Now I feel awful.
@expandcontract I was the opposite. I was sure I'd never terminate no matter what. Then through the bump I met some amazing ladies and heard their stories and reason why they did or didn't. Definitely changed my thought process for sure.
Wife. Boy mom x6. Expecting #7. Wannabe homesteader. , 💙💙💙💙💙💙
@chucksmom15 that’s a great point, wanting to know in advance to prepare. I would want that too.
By the way, my insurance does cover a NT scam and I will be getting that. I did last pregnancy as well, that’s standard for my hospital and I remember being shocked it wasn’t standard everywhere. It makes me wonder if maybe some places don’t do it so parents won’t be able to make the decision to terminate? That’s all speculation on my part and I haven’t done very much research but the NT scan seems like an important one to not skip!
Otherwise, I don’t qualify for genetic testing since I’m not high risk in any way.
I miss SO much on here when I have busy days at work ahh I just read through THIS thread I have at least 5 more to catch up on lol
I'd like to do genetic testing, especially if insurance covers it - we did last time around 12 weeks bc something abnormal appeared on an US and the dr was concerned, so it was covered by insurance. The test only tests for certain things though, not everything. We have genetic stuff on my husband's side of the family but because my husband hasn't been tested himself we can't test our kids. It's been a very hard decision & I struggled a lot with it, but ultimately we decided to not have my husband get tested/not go with IVF for baby 2...we're both at peace with it, regardless of the outcome. It's scary to live in the unknown but at the same time we all have to do that anyway because nothing in life is guaranteed.
@sleepy33 It’s hard to say what I would do if we were faced with genetic issues that weren’t compatible with life. Such a heartbreaking decision to have to make, but I couldn’t imagine carrying a baby that I knew wouldn’t live. That would be more devastating than I think I could handle.
@chucksmom15 and @kvh22 I like to research and know as much as I can about something too. It would help to have that extra time to process everything.
In the past I have opted out of the NT scan or whatever it's called but I usually do the quad screen which if I remember correctly can detect spina bifida among other things. I'm not sure if my OB will.want me to do the MaterniT21 but if its covered I'll do it since it's just a blood test and I selfishly want to find out the sex of the baby asap lol
As @kvh22 mentioned, CA has some standard blood work during first and second tri. Plus the NT scan, and then anatomy scan, of course. I'm not high risk for anything so we aren't having anything extra or special done.
@expandcontract I was the opposite. I was sure I'd never terminate no matter what. Then through the bump I met some amazing ladies and heard their stories and reason why they did or didn't. Definitely changed my thought process for sure.
This is great to hear. I mean that your thought process was changed from stories on TB. Not stories themselves.
TW I was one of those women who had to make the choice after my 12 week u/s and subsequent CVS showed my baby had triploidy-incompatible with life. It was awful, but the Dr didn’t think I’d even make it past 20 weeks and I could not handle the weekly ultrasounds, showing and having to tell people that this was not a celebratory pregnancy, and feeling like a living coffin. Long story short, the baby passed before my D&C- so even though I made the choice, it didn’t matter. End TW
Every woman I know who has TMFR-including 2 of my best friends- were people who said they would never TMFR. My 2 best friends who had to were not offered NIPT and 13 week screens missed their issues. They had to make heartbreaking choices at 20+ weeks after announcing and after showing and then continually respond to people, even years later, about how that specific child. It’s awful and heartbreaking to them still.
Remember NIPT (generally offered to 35+ also known as panorama or harmony and probably new names since Dd was born) is highly accurate with few false positives. They literally test the chromosomes of the fetal cells in your blood. Though you would still get an amnio or CVS to verify. The sequential screening is the set of tests where you get the odds. So like you have a 1 in 4000 chance of a baby with downs, etc.
Before making a knee jerk decision based on an assumption of the decision you would make in the worst case scenario. I would reccommend spending time reading stories of women on some of these boards. It could be triggering, but like @nopegoat said- until you really listen to people who have gone through it, it’s hard to put yourself in that situation.
@msb615 my OB also was recommending the genetic screening to us. We didn’t do it with DD last year just because it was expensive but my OB said it’s become so much more mainstream (even in just a year!) that it’s affordable and pretty common to do now. I’m getting the labs done on 10/18.
Me: 33 DH: 34 Married: Oct 2015 TTC #1: Sept 2016 BFP: 10/19/16 ~ blighted ovum ~ D&C 11/23/16 BFP: 3/24/17 DD1 born 12/2/17 TTC #2: July 2018 BFP: 8/26/18 DD2 born 5/16/19
we’ve unfortunately had friends and family with genetic abnormalities that have had to make some hard decisions. We are opting for NIPT testing at 12 weeks. I believe you don’t have the NT ultrasound with this? I’ve scheduled the test but my preggers brain is failing me at the moment.
@peachy13 what exactly does it entail? Just a blood draw?
Yes.. just some regular blood work but tests go to an outside lab. You don’t get results for 5-7 business days. I think there are multiple companies but the one my OB’s office uses is called Panorama.
Me: 33 DH: 34 Married: Oct 2015 TTC #1: Sept 2016 BFP: 10/19/16 ~ blighted ovum ~ D&C 11/23/16 BFP: 3/24/17 DD1 born 12/2/17 TTC #2: July 2018 BFP: 8/26/18 DD2 born 5/16/19
I had a rough day today. I called my dr. office to check on my lab results from yesterday and all the secretary would tell me was that my doctor reviewed my results and wanted to book a follow up appointment to discuss. I started to worry and asked to speak to a nurse and she said I'd have to wait until my appointment on Tuesday (cue the tears and freaking out!).
I'm feeling a lot better after talking to a friend and DH. If it was something urgent I doubt they would let me wait until Tuesday. We are thinking my iron levels came back as low and that's the thing she wants to discuss. I had DS 10 months ago and am still nursing so I guarantee my iron is low. I'm thinking/hoping that's all it is.
@sleepy33 do you knit or crochet?? I do a bit of both (mostly crochet) and I have a serious yarn problem!!
I'm a bobs burgers fan so I'm disappointed you didnt name him Moolissa.
Pregnancy #1 DD 08.30.2007 Pregnancy #2 Natural Miscarriage at 6 weeks 03/2014 Due date 11/9/2014 Pregnancy #3 DS 02.23.2015 Pregnancy #4 Missed Miscarriage at 11 weeks 11/2018 Due date 5/22/2019 Pregnancy #5 Positive test 12/11/2019 Due Date 8/17/2020
@secicc12 yep! Lots of intros and a small group participating. More people will come out to play once we are a bit further along. That's what usually happens anyways.
Yep! I know I’ve been sort of nervous to get too attached to this BMB this early in the game. Once things feel more definite I’ll probably be on here more
I don't want to go to work today!!! My husband is taking the train into the city for work, so I had to get up even earlier to drop him off. Why will no one let me sleep???
@poshspice wow! I'm surprised but also kind of not. This current season of JS absolutely sucks and I was wondering why (SPOILER) Jwoww really left the show early, seemingly out of nowhere. I seriously doubt it was just because Angelina was there. Now I'm thinking that if things were not good at home, it would be a terrible move on her part to just remain in Vegas, partying.
Me: 33 DH: 34 Married: Oct 2015 TTC #1: Sept 2016 BFP: 10/19/16 ~ blighted ovum ~ D&C 11/23/16 BFP: 3/24/17 DD1 born 12/2/17 TTC #2: July 2018 BFP: 8/26/18 DD2 born 5/16/19
@sleepy33 that's awesome! I started crocheting a blanket when I was pregnant with DS. Hes 10 months and it's still not done. Maybe it will be done in time for this baby 🤣
@peachy13 That’s interesting that your office brought it up too. It does seem to be more mainstream now than it was even a couple of years ago. Did your office say that they would still do the 12 week ultrasound if you did the dna testing? I would like to do both, but my PGAL brain can’t quit imagine not having an ultrasound until 18-20 weeks. For me, it sounded like if I did the dna testing, the 12 week ultrasound wouldn’t be necessary, but I may have misunderstood.
@nopegoat just remember Moolissa was a male cow they glued a wig on so totally cool as a males name 😂
Pregnancy #1 DD 08.30.2007 Pregnancy #2 Natural Miscarriage at 6 weeks 03/2014 Due date 11/9/2014 Pregnancy #3 DS 02.23.2015 Pregnancy #4 Missed Miscarriage at 11 weeks 11/2018 Due date 5/22/2019 Pregnancy #5 Positive test 12/11/2019 Due Date 8/17/2020
My brother sent a group text about doing a big trip for my mom's 60th birthday in early May. Thinking JazzFest in New Orleans or Kentucky Derby. They'd both be 2-3 weeks before my due date and need to be air travel which is obviously not possible but I'm only 7 weeks and not planning to share until at least 12 weeks. My mom and sister know, though so I have a separate text thread going with them. We won't finalize anything before I can tell in November but this is just so out of character for them to plan this far in advance and I'm like "why now?" Luckily (maybe) my sister has her field work for grad school so she had to completely nix May but can do a few days early April (which I wouldn't want to do even if I could) and late February which is a possibility.
@kvh22 Stuff like that always happens to me! You bank on people acting one way because that's how they always are, but they change when it would most benifbe you to stay the same. I don't have any advice, but feel your pain.
@kvh22, thats so tough! My family is notorious for planning stuff way ahead of time and there's been things come up just before or in the early stages of my pregnancies every time that I've had to either spill the beans or get creative on ways to postpone or change the dates. I'm currently fielding dates for my grandmother's 90th birthday party in the spring too. She lives across the country and we would all need to fly out there, but her actual birthday is when I'll be 39 weeks pregnant. I think I've convinced everyone that Easter is a better time to do it because my daughter has an actual break from school then and we would be able to stay for a real visit on top of just the birthday party. I was very carefully crafting the dates so that it gets me back home just shy of 36 weeks, lol. Its not going to be fun but I know it will mean the world to her so I'm going to tough it out. At least I'll have a ton of help once I'm there and can just put my swollen feet up and relax.
@liliumstargazer13@mcewen3 thanks for the camaraderie, ladies! Glad easter will work for you, mcewen. I flew cross country at 6 months last time and it was tough. My mom "retired" from her 9-5 job and just works retail now to keep busy and for the health insurance so she has to average 30hrs/wk. She's already planning to take 2 weeks off around my due date to be here (did the same for DD) and also watch DD while we're at the hospital so the timing wouldn't work for her either since it'd be literally right before she'd come here, but she can't say that yet. At least she's on board with it, though.
My brother and SIL are usually so all about what they have going on with their friends that family tends to get second (or third or fourth...) place so I actually feel bad that they haven't gotten much of a response from anyone except me saying JazzFest has very little jazz (DH went for a bachelor party) and my sister saying she only has 2 options that work at all next Jan-June.
@peachy13 and @msb615 my doctor said since I’m doing the genetic testing I don’t need to have the separate one for Down’s Syndrome bc it will show the same thing. I had an NT scan last year with my son but since we already know I’m getting one at Maternal Fetal Medicine at 16 weeks he isn’t doing that this time either. They will see the same stuff on their scan.
@kvh22 you do not want to do Jazzfest pregnant or right after birth. I live in Louisiana and have been. Super fun but it’s standing in a field and using port-a-potties. Plus it will already be hot as hell here by then.
Re: Randoms 9/24
@msb615 I had genetic testing with DS and scheduled it for this baby with my doctor today at my intake appointment. I’m 37 so insurance pays for it. We want to be prepared if our baby needs some kind of medical intervention at birth. I’m a planner so if our child has a special need I want to have done my research and have everything we need at birth.
It's definitely a UO, but I would probably terminate if I got a confirmed Downs diagnosis as well.
Last pregnancy, I used the excuse of having relatives with genetic conditions as an awesome opportunity to having the insurance pay for it so I can find out early what the sex of the baby is! Now I feel awful.
, 💙💙💙💙💙💙
By the way, my insurance does cover a NT scam and I will be getting that. I did last pregnancy as well, that’s standard for my hospital and I remember being shocked it wasn’t standard everywhere. It makes me wonder if maybe some places don’t do it so parents won’t be able to make the decision to terminate? That’s all speculation on my part and I haven’t done very much research but the NT scan seems like an important one to not skip!
Otherwise, I don’t qualify for genetic testing since I’m not high risk in any way.
I'd like to do genetic testing, especially if insurance covers it - we did last time around 12 weeks bc something abnormal appeared on an US and the dr was concerned, so it was covered by insurance. The test only tests for certain things though, not everything. We have genetic stuff on my husband's side of the family but because my husband hasn't been tested himself we can't test our kids. It's been a very hard decision & I struggled a lot with it, but ultimately we decided to not have my husband get tested/not go with IVF for baby 2...we're both at peace with it, regardless of the outcome. It's scary to live in the unknown but at the same time we all have to do that anyway because nothing in life is guaranteed.
@chucksmom15 and @kvh22 I like to research and know as much as I can about something too. It would help to have that extra time to process everything.
TW
I was one of those women who had to make the choice after my 12 week u/s and subsequent CVS showed my baby had triploidy-incompatible with life. It was awful, but the Dr didn’t think I’d even make it past 20 weeks and I could not handle the weekly ultrasounds, showing and having to tell people that this was not a celebratory pregnancy, and feeling like a living coffin. Long story short, the baby passed before my D&C- so even though I made the choice, it didn’t matter. End TW
Every woman I know who has TMFR-including 2 of my best friends- were people who said they would never TMFR. My 2 best friends who had to were not offered NIPT and 13 week screens missed their issues. They had to make heartbreaking choices at 20+ weeks after announcing and after showing and then continually respond to people, even years later, about how that specific child. It’s awful and heartbreaking to them still.
Remember NIPT (generally offered to 35+ also known as panorama or harmony and probably new names since Dd was born) is highly accurate with few false positives. They literally test the chromosomes of the fetal cells in your blood. Though you would still get an amnio or CVS to verify. The sequential screening is the set of tests where you get the odds. So like you have a 1 in 4000 chance of a baby with downs, etc.
Before making a knee jerk decision based on an assumption of the decision you would make in the worst case scenario. I would reccommend spending time reading stories of women on some of these boards. It could be triggering, but like @nopegoat said- until you really listen to people who have gone through it, it’s hard to put yourself in that situation.
, 💙💙💙💙💙💙
, 💙💙💙💙💙💙
Married: Oct 2015
TTC #1: Sept 2016
BFP: 10/19/16 ~ blighted ovum ~ D&C 11/23/16
BFP: 3/24/17
TTC #2: July 2018
BFP: 8/26/18
we’ve unfortunately had friends and family with genetic abnormalities that have had to make some hard decisions. We are opting for NIPT testing at 12 weeks. I believe you don’t have the NT ultrasound with this? I’ve scheduled the test but my preggers brain is failing me at the moment.
Married: Oct 2015
TTC #1: Sept 2016
BFP: 10/19/16 ~ blighted ovum ~ D&C 11/23/16
BFP: 3/24/17
TTC #2: July 2018
BFP: 8/26/18
I'm feeling a lot better after talking to a friend and DH. If it was something urgent I doubt they would let me wait until Tuesday. We are thinking my iron levels came back as low and that's the thing she wants to discuss. I had DS 10 months ago and am still nursing so I guarantee my iron is low. I'm thinking/hoping that's all it is.
@sleepy33 do you knit or crochet?? I do a bit of both (mostly crochet) and I have a serious yarn problem!!
Pregnancy #2 Natural Miscarriage at 6 weeks 03/2014 Due date 11/9/2014
Pregnancy #3 DS 02.23.2015
Pregnancy #4 Missed Miscarriage at 11 weeks 11/2018 Due date 5/22/2019
Pregnancy #5 Positive test 12/11/2019 Due Date 8/17/2020
Married 8/16/13
BFP#1 DS 11/13/16
BFP# 2 MMC dx @ 13w 10/30/18
BFP# 3 Preemie DD born at 38w (IUGR) on 8/28/19 weighing 5.5lbs. Our little miracle
Yep! I know I’ve been sort of nervous to get too attached to this BMB this early in the game. Once things feel more definite I’ll probably be on here more
, 💙💙💙💙💙💙
Married: Oct 2015
TTC #1: Sept 2016
BFP: 10/19/16 ~ blighted ovum ~ D&C 11/23/16
BFP: 3/24/17
TTC #2: July 2018
BFP: 8/26/18
@nopegoat Mr. Beefy is so so cute!!
Pregnancy #2 Natural Miscarriage at 6 weeks 03/2014 Due date 11/9/2014
Pregnancy #3 DS 02.23.2015
Pregnancy #4 Missed Miscarriage at 11 weeks 11/2018 Due date 5/22/2019
Pregnancy #5 Positive test 12/11/2019 Due Date 8/17/2020
Married: Oct 2015
TTC #1: Sept 2016
BFP: 10/19/16 ~ blighted ovum ~ D&C 11/23/16
BFP: 3/24/17
TTC #2: July 2018
BFP: 8/26/18
My brother and SIL are usually so all about what they have going on with their friends that family tends to get second (or third or fourth...) place so I actually feel bad that they haven't gotten much of a response from anyone except me saying JazzFest has very little jazz (DH went for a bachelor party) and my sister saying she only has 2 options that work at all next Jan-June.
@kvh22 you do not want to do Jazzfest pregnant or right after birth. I live in Louisiana and have been. Super fun but it’s standing in a field and using port-a-potties. Plus it will already be hot as hell here by then.