December 2018 Moms

Maternity Leave

Just wondering is anyanyone else in the same boat. So my job as a tech is very physical. Several months ago i switched to light duty. Even so on light duty I've been doing too much and causing some problems with my pregnancy. So i am having my dr to start my leave early. I am taking FMLA to cover 12 weeks. However 12 weeks is our expected time for Konnor to arrive. Therefore i will need an additonal 4 to 6 weeks for recovery. My job informed me today that if i don't return after the 12 weeks then they would have to terminate and rehire me. If they do so i would be losing 5 years of benefits and starting over as a rehire. I don't see this as fair. Doesn't FMLA give extensions if needed. Jist disgusted at the lack of cooperation from my facility. 

Re: Maternity Leave

  • Hi Ashley, I know this stuff varies from state to state - and am still trying to sort it all out myself, but can you not take Pregnancy Disability Leave or other short-term disability?

    https://www.upcounsel.com/pregnancy-disability-leave
    About me:
    Married 6/18/16 (Me 42, DH 44), TTC #2
    ***TW***
    Natural BFP 8/10/16 --> mc our NIPT-normal little girl at 11w5d on 10/1/16 :(
    As of 12/2016:  AMH 1.42, FSH 6.1, AFC ~10
    Self-benched Nov-Dec 2016 for
    IVF #1 Jan-Feb 2017 (OCP, testosterone primed antagonist w/HGH - ER 2/2/17 - 12R, 7M ICSI'd, 3F, 0B)
    IVF #2 Mar-Apr 2017 (testosterone primed agonist/luteal lupron w/HGH - ER 4/8/17 - 10R, 8M, 8F, 5B, 1 PGS normal)
    IVF #3 May-Jun 2017 (testosterone primed agonist/luteal lupron w/HGH - ER 6/4/17 - 14R, 5F, 3B, 0 normal)
    **New RE**
    IVF #4 Sept 2017 (natural start microdose lupron flare w/HGH - ER 9/28/17 - 33R, 18F, 10B, 4 PGS normals!)
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    IVF #6 Jan-Feb 2018 (natural start microdose lupron flare w/HGH - ER 2/3/18 - 17R, 6M, 4F, 0 blasts)
    IVF #7 Feb 2018 (natural start microdose lupron flare w/HGH - ER 2/26/18 - 19R, 9M, 9F, 4B, 2 PGS normals)
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    Rainbow baby girl born 12/16/2018 (via c-section, induced at 39 weeks)

    -----
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  • @AshleyGemini24 I am so sorry that you are in that situation. Unfortunately, FMLA does not allow for extensions and can only be used for 12 weeks in a calendar year regardless of the reason. Did you speak with a HR representative? Can they put you in a different department or have you fulfill a different duty for the next couple of months?
  • I agree with @artemis618 that it varies by state and by company.  I know FMLA is 12 weeks per calendar year, I don't know anything else about extending it.  These would be better questions for HR at your company, or someone who is well versed in disability leave
  • ScootsMcGScootsMcG member
    edited September 2018
    When are you due?  Any chance you could hold off starting your 12 weeks so they would get you through December and then take the next 6 weeks in 2019(new calendar year)?
  • ScootsMcG said:
    When are you due?  Any chance you could hold off starting your 12 weeks so they would get you through December and then take the next 6 weeks in 2019(new calendar year)?
    WSS. I've spoken to my HR about taking FMLA this year, unrelated to my pregnancy. Essentially they told me that on January 1st, it would reset and I'd get another 12 weeks to play with. The problem, as I understand it, is that there are about 5 different ways that your employer could do that. It could be you get 12 weeks in a given 12 month period, so you don't reset back to 12 until a year after the first FMLA was taken. 

    Ultimately, you need to schedule a meeting with your HR to determine what your options are. I'm sorry you're in this situation - it shouldn't be so difficult for women to take care of themselves and their babies. 
    Pass the sheet cake.

    BabyGaga
  • mcgeevamcgeeva member
    edited September 2018
    I’m so sorry that really sucks. Even with doctors notes etc you cant extend Fmla. I’m in va and that is the only thing that protects your job for 12 weeks. I went into labor at 30 weeks and had to start my fmla at 30 weeks until I gave birth at almost 37 weeks. I was asked to come back when my son was about three weeks old and there was no way I could. My company allowed me to stay home until he was 12 weeks but there is nothing to protect you after the 12 weeks are up unless you have super understanding bosses that will hold you job. Will they allow you to work from home to avoid starting fmla and instead just have an adjusted schedule? Even working half days would save you the extra 6 weeks of fmla. Just a thought . I should add that in my companies policy no matter what is wrong wth you if it’s related to pregnancy you have to use fmla when your out of work vs short term. Even having pre-e and complications based on our policy I had to come back regardless. Leave it Us sucks :/ 

    Married: 5/09 ~ TTC Since: 10/10 ~ PCOS ~ Progesterone from 10/10 - 2/11 ~ HSG on 3/18 - Clear ~ Started Metformin 1000mg & Clomid 50mg 2/11 ~ Metformin upped to 1500mg 4/6 ~ 6/7 Now going to SG and put on Clomid, Ovidrel, Gonal F, Prometrium, Estrace ~ IUI #1 7/2 = BFP!!!!!! March 6th our little man was born. 

    6/17/13 - Ovidrel, Follistim, Prometrium ~ IUI #1 7/2 = BFP! March 17th our St. Pattys day baby arrived

    10/29/17 - Started process for IVF, got pregnant & miscarried a 2nd time since summer. 2/22 started stims - Menopur, Gonal F, Cetrotide - retrieval 3/6 - , PIO, estrace 3xday - FET 4/18 = Beta 1: 616; Beta 2: 1342 = BFP 

  • I am looking at a similar situation but because it is related to a pre existing heart condition (I had prior to pregnancy though pregnancy has made much worse) I argued that they had to let me use my short term disability because the condition existed before the pregnancy. And once I delivered it would be FMLA. After some back and forth they agreed but have allowed me light duty/working from home for now. I'm the only person who does my job in my department so they have tried a little harder to keep me happy as my boss very much wants me to come back after maternity leave. It sucks- I hope you can work something out with your job. I know here in MA they just passed a law saying they have to give light duty and x number of breaks etc so maybe your state has a similar law? I really do not think it is general knowledge how bad maternity benefits are in this country! 
  • What exactly are you doing too much of/need to get away from? Is it something your Dr can write you a note for without you needing to take leave? I had my Dr write me a very specific note for work last time (forget what it said now, as that was 7yrs ago) but "can't lift more than 20lbs" and stuff like that. I think he even wrote that I couldn't be on call overnight or something similar that my coworkers hated :)
  • @ScootsMcG Amen!!!   Why is maternal and postpartum care in this country so behind the times???  Like WE don't even get a follow up appointment to see how we are doing after birth emotionally and physically???  After baby is born no one gives two shits about us anymore.  And employers are expecting us to be back in the game almost immediately!?  I'm glad I have the option to be a SAHM, but I get NO benefits:  no healthcare coverage, no paid time off, no job security if/when I decide to go back.  We sacrifice so much, and then get shit on for it!

    @AshleyGemini24 so sorry you're in this situation. It's unfair you either have to either jeopardize your career or your/baby's health, safety, and well-being.  No pregnant woman should be faced with this.  I wish I could offer, advice, but all I have is support!
  • Sorry you are going through this. If my pregnant employees had restrictions I would have to start them on leave, which would limit their post partum time (they’d get 6 or 8 weeks, but I couldn’t always give them the 12 additional weeks post partum.) 
    So some of my pregnant staff decided not to go on light duty. This is not really the right thing, but it was the best I could do to help them keep their leave. 
  • I work im a nursing home as a tech. I've been on light duty with a 10lb weight limit since 14 weeks. Now 28. Still having contractions although I'm doing light duty. So there is no lesser job i can do. HR td me they'd have to terminate me. Ot seems there really is no way around what they have told me. And yes as PP said the STD is only a wage compensation. Luckily it is good for up to six months. Thanks for the suppprt ladies. 
  • @katy0990 not that I know of, I assumed I was on my own after birth.  This gives me hope.  I still feel 1 or 2 appointments are not really enough, but better than nothing!

    @AshleyGemini24 how discouraging. I'm sorry. 
  • Actually I was going to ask the same question as @katy0990...what IS the standard for postpartum care that STM’s have experienced? Personally, I was given a PPD/A screening questionnaire at my son’s pediatrician visits for the first several months but we’re a military family so I’m not sure what non-military providers generally do. I listened to a radio story recently saying that doctors are actually hesitant to get on board with offering anything like that and was surprised.

    Bur yeah. Sometimes I just really want to pack the family’s bags and move to Canada or Sweden or something. 
    Me: 31 | DH: 31
    Together since 2003 | Married 2010
    TTC #1 January 2016
    BFP April 18 2016 | EDD December 29, 2016
    Welcome baby A! January 9, 2017

    TTC#2 March 2018
    BFP March 30, 2018 | EDD December 12, 2018
  • I don’t remember ever being asked about PPD/PPA. I definitely didn’t get a questionnaire. But I could have blocked out lol
  • @PensiveCrayon My ob did ppa/d screen for the first year... In fact, they do a standard mental health questionnaire before every visit.
    *Loss 8/2014*
    *Rainbow 8/2015*
    *Expected Rainbows 12/2018*
    *Loss of Twin 5/2018*

  • @PensiveCrayon I know I answered a questionnaire at my 6 week appointment to screen for PPD/A, and the midwife made sure to ask me personally how I was feeling. I think they also checked baby over, checked my tear to make sure it healed properly, not sure what else. I don't think I had to do any questionnaires at the pediatricians office, but I do remember the doctor asking me how I was feeling at each appointment. I don't remember how long they asked me, but definitely the first couple months I think.
    DS1 born 2/28/16
    DS2 due 12/12/18

  • @PensiveCrayon Like I mentioned before, I went in 2 weeks pp to have some dressings removed and my incision checked. Then I went in at 6 weeks pp and she shocked my incision, gave me a PAP, and we talked about BC options since I was cleared for sex. At both appointments my OB talked about how I was feeling and asked some questions about my mental health, but it wasn’t like a formal written survey. 

    My son’s pediatrician always made sure we didn’t have any concerns, but never inquired about my mental state. (Although, it was probably pretty obvious because I cried every time he was weighed). From what I understand, some doctors, are hesitant to probe too far because of the risk of liability, especially if you are not their official patient. It’s sad how big many providers look at the whole person. Medicine is such an industry.
  • I had a 6 week appointment at my ob after my c-section and that was it. @katy0990 I never had a 2 week appointment and I’m wondering if I should have. I remember thinking it was odd we were just going to assume my major surgery was peachy keen for 6 weeks. Any other surgery you’d have follow ups a week or two after! My pediatrician never asked about me (this didn’t strike me as something he should do since I’m not his patient) but I did get a ppd screening at my 6 week appointment.
    **June Siggy Challenge - P.I.L.Fs**
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  • @rosebud332 Wow! I know the norm for a vaginal delivery around here is just the 6 week check up, but everyone I know who has had a c-section went in at 1 or 2 weeks pp to have the incision checked. I would have been so paranoid about infection, if I had not had that extra appointment. 
  • @katy0990 I think knowing that I will ask about it if I have another c-section. I just did what they told me to do last time. Good thing everything was fine!
    **June Siggy Challenge - P.I.L.Fs**
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  • In my experiance, after my cesarian I wasnt seen until 6 weeks after. My doctor told me I had minor tears in my insition but that they were healed, and I had no sign of infection. She asked about my mental state but there was no formal paperwork. Then she asked about birth control and I schedualed to have an iud put in. My sons pediatrician asked me extensively about my mental state, and there was paperwork I filled out before every appointment asking about how I was feeling. This went on for a year. The pediatrician seemed much more concerened about my chance of ppd than my gyno, which seems kinda backwards to me....
  • Regarding postpartum care, I had a 3 week and 6 week check up with my OB after my c section. And because I had some (minor) healing issues with my incision, I went in again somewhere in between those two appointments, but only because I called.

    Like others, I found it striking that postpartum care was so minimal. I had Pre-eclampsia before the birth and I remember calling my OB office several times because my blood pressure was still high weeks after delivery but no one really seemed concerned or wanted to evaluate me. That said, it did go back down eventually and no further complications. So maybe they were right not be concerned? 

    Anyway I know without a c section, they don’t usually bring you in for six weeks, which seems crazy to me in comparison. And echoing the others, this isn’t how other industrialized countries treat mothers after delivery.
  • I will say, going to my follow up appointments was a giant PITA because I couldn’t lift DS+car seat until 6 weeks PP, so in a way I’m glad I wasn’t required to go more often, but I’m sure my OB would have seen me if I called.
  • tikearha16tikearha16 member
    edited September 2018
    That sucks. My job gives me 12 weeks of short term disability with 100 percent pay and another 12 weeks of FMLA at 66 percent of pay. In total I’ll be out for 6 months/24 weeks. I can take the 6 months in increments over 12 months or take it in full at one time. 
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