FFFC 9/21

pttomato · September 2018

I binged on peanut butter last night. I had been doing so good at sticking to my diet and ignoring the constant hunger until last night. It did feel good to actually be full, but my fasting blood sugar was high this morning because of all the fat from the PB. Low carb, low fat diets suck.

bradleysmommy28 · September 2018

DH texted me about how horrible he feels today. I'm hoping he doesn't come home complaining of a man cold b/c I might scream. I have a lot of odd jobs planned for him this weekend and he NEEDS to do them!

wkuandrea · September 2018

I was trying to prep DH for the realities of baby/delivery last night by showing him articles (he tends to believe the written word over me, eyeroll). And straight up admitted that he will have a hard time because it's all about me and baby, they'll not be paying attention to him, nobody is asking him how he is feeling, etc.

He's an only child, and very self-centered (not always in a bad way, just in a thinking always of himself way) and I've been working on him for a year already about how kids change that... he very much wants them though, so. My best friend (who also spends a lot of time with him) constantly remarks how she just can't wait to see how this turns out...

leighbrek · September 2018

@wkuandrea That would drive me right bonkers! I hope he gets over himself when baby decides to show.
My husband is just flat out disinterested in everything. He said he's glad to hear the baby is healthy, and that's about where it ends. If I ask him if he wants to feel the baby, he responds with, "Do you want me to feel the baby?" So no, he doesn't want to, but will put his hand there if he thinks I'll be happy about it.
Men!

The midwife straight up guilted me about not having a family doctor (I go to walk-in clinics - same day service, in and out). I know that it's not the best care in the world, but it has served me well for the past 14 years or so.
I guess baby should have a steady doctor, though.

kianarain · September 2018

@leighbrek I also don't have a family doctor and have been more than fine, but plan to get at least a regular location (if not regular doctor) for baby. Not trying to deal w/the shuffle of records & playing catch up.

I think I'm going to push for a no-battery-operated toy rule for the first couple years. I am telling everyone it's to allow her to use her imagination & not become reliant on technology. It is, but also I don't want to hear the annoying sounds of battery-operated toys all the time lollll

leighbrek · September 2018

@kianarain I might go the same route. Finding a doctor here is so difficult, and so many don't speak clear English. It's frustrating. The person might be the best doctor in the world, but I'll never know if I can't understand what is being said.

Good idea with the toys!!!

wkuandrea · September 2018

@leighbrek I'm jealous of not having a constant Dr on your personal staff! LOL! On top of my OB/GYN, I have an internist, a nephrologist, an allergist, a gastroenterologist, a chiropractor....

And, as immature as my DH is at times, he's very sweet and caring and interested in all things baby. Except he loves to annoy me with terrible baby names, HA. His most recent suggestions have been Cleopatra and Missy.

kianarain · September 2018

@wkuandrea tell him you're only down for Missy if her middle name can be Elliott

leighbrek · September 2018

@wkuandrea Haha, that would be infuriating sometimes!
My hubby is the same. His current favourite: Bula.

ladystout08 · September 2018

@wkuandrea I went to boot camp with a girl named Miss. she said her dad gave her that name so she always got the respect she deserved. She was a grade A B-word.

My husband not only suggested Lary gunsmoke (he suggested Gunsmoke with DS) but he got my son hooked on it too. It took me weeks to talk him out of it.

rooonilwaazlib · September 2018

Struggling with the fact that people generally only see me as a mom-to-be now. I was a speaker at a really amazing event for work this weekend, and was super proud. When I posted the pics on FB all people commented on was how they see my baby bump. I realize social media is not a true mirror of the world, but I find this even in person. Everyone’s excited to touch the belly (please don’t) and not really wanting to know how anything else is. I get it’s exciting and people want to share in that joy! I am grateful for the support of our friends/family, and I also still want to retain my identity as ME. Motherhood is an awesome adventure that I know will change my life, and it’s not the only awesome thing I’ll do from here on out.

Feeling like a jerk with all these thoughts when people are just genuinely excited for us...but then again I’m allowing space to feel whatever it is I DO feel. It’s all valid!

leighbrek · September 2018

@rooonilwaazlib You're not a jerk! We were actually talking about this very thing on another thread at some point, about how it almost feels like a bit of lost identity because no one cares about anything other than the pregnancy.
I've also found that if I steer the conversation in another direction, like, "Hey, I went kayaking with a friend for a few hours last weekend!" the response is generally something like, "Oh, you should take it easy for the baby."
Biyatch, me exercising is great for the baby, and keeps my sanity! But that wasn't why I mentioned kayaking to begin with!

rooonilwaazlib · September 2018

@leighbrek thanks girl! Yes it’s exactly like that. We could all wax poetic about the way people are so invasive about pregnancy in general. I hope I was never like this with people and if I was, this experience will certainly give me new eyes to see another family’s journey to motherhood in the future!

bradleysmommy28 · September 2018

@rooonilwaazlib I always make comments back if its family or close friends, and they get the hint pretty quickly. I do it half jokingly so I don't come off too brash but it aggravates me. My favorite is when I get told I'm over doing it. I always say "I'm pregnant, not broken. If I'm over doing it, my body will tell me to stop".

julesf817 · September 2018

I totally get that @rooonilwaazlib after the baby comes it’s a lot of the same I found. Especially with family. Like hey, I still exist too, remember?

nononorman · September 2018

I like to say “I’m not an invalid... YET”. It’s a quote my husband uses on me often so I use it back to lots of people.

Im used to not existing at this point- it’s all about DD or this new Baby. No one has anything else to say to me and I think it’s most frustrating at work like you said @rooonilwaazlib because you’re really trying to be professional and bust it out and people are just like IS IT A BOY OR A GIRL?!? Uh my presentation had no gender so suck it.

not_another_knottie · September 2018

I hate it when people come touch my belly. It doesn’t bother me as much now that there’s a bump but prior to really “showing” people touching my stomach used to make me cringe. And when men try to do it, it is definitely worse than when females do it. Only man allowed to touch my belly is the one who helped make the baby. Also, I hate that when I do allow someone to touch me they also think it’s their job to try and make LG move. She does what she wants in there and I can’t even get her to move on demand so please stop jiggling/ poking me to try and get her to move.

+1 to people treating you like an invalid. Drives me up a wall. If I’m felling lazy I use the pregnancy card but day to day, let me just do what I have to do.

second rant, people bold face telling me that they aren’t buying me gifts off my registry. I spent a lot of time making sure there we’re all the gifts I think my LG and I will need. And made sure to have it be a very good range of priced items for everyones budget in mind. It keeps things organized so that I don’t end up with doubles from different stores.

Lastly, I judge mothers who smoke while pregnant. Not going to elaborate but if you’re pregnant and smoking..: I’m judging you

kianarain · September 2018

@ms_stevens87 wtf, kinda rude that people are telling you that they aren't going to buy you gifts. I like to think I'm not very gift grabby, but that's generally what you bring to a shower as a guest who's going to show up, eat the food & celebrate mom to be lol. And especially since you have a good range of prices for gifts... Are you stm+? Not that it would excuse that behavior but, if you are, maybe they think you have everything you need? Huh, don't get it.

Also omg yes to pregnant smokers! My coworker is TTC and is a smoker. We talk in depth about my pregnancy all the time so during once of our talks I asked how she's going to handle the transition. She said her doctor told her that it's better for the baby to smoke 3 cigarettes a day than to endure the stress of her quitting... But she's not even pregnant yet and still isn't quitting. I get it, we have a stressful job - but shit, at least give it a go? I judged hard. Also, get a new doctor lol.

leighbrek · September 2018

@kianarain I think she meant specifically gifts off her registry. They'll probably still gift her, but not with something she has requested.
@ms_stevens87 That sort of thing happened at my wedding shower, which is not nearly as important, but still. My husband's cousin told me she doesn't believe in registries, so didn't buy a gift from the registry. Normally I'd be like, OK whatever... I mean, she didn't have to give me a gift at all, so I thought it was still nice that she gave me something; however, the something turned out to be a metal wine bottle holder in the shape of a dog. I hate wine - never drink it - and what the heck... Where do I even put something like that? I couldn't say any thought was put into the gift and it probably would've been better if she had just not bothered at all, lol. I know that sounds ungrateful, but....
When it comes to a baby shower, though, I think it's more important to try to gift something the mom-to-be is asking for. Toys can be substituted, but actual baby care items can be pretty specific.

kianarain · September 2018

@leighbrek ooooh lol whew I got heated for a sec! But I mean, still - why would you not use a registry? Especially if there's a range of prices, then you can get something mama needs and also get something that you like that's not on the registry, while still staying low in budget if you need to. That's what I did with my friend recently. Nipple pads/cream AND baby monster slippers

sparkymcgeee · September 2018

I wish sometimes my husband would tell me to stop. He allows me to relax a lot but when I am busting my butt cleaning or something and I am starting to feel like it's too much he never notices. I have to tell him. I think it's because this is number 3 and he just doesn't think about it anymore. It's just same old thing. Been there. Done that.

sparkymcgeee · September 2018

Registries bug me sometimes. Sometimes (not always) FTMs (or at least uneducated FTMs) just don't put a lot of thought into what they NEED. Just what's cute and what they want. Like clothes and blankets. So if I go to a shower I often will get one of the outfits or one of the impractical gifts they have on the registry and then something really practical like diapers and wipes. It drives me crazy when I don't see anything useful on there except a car seat and stroller. I'm not spending 200 dollars on you second cousin by marriage.

galactickates · September 2018

sparkymcgeee said:

Registries bug me sometimes. Sometimes (not always) FTMs (or at least uneducated FTMs) just don't put a lot of thought into what they NEED. Just what's cute and what they want. Like clothes and blankets. So if I go to a shower I often will get one of the outfits or one of the impractical gifts they have on the registry and then something really practical like diapers and wipes. It drives me crazy when I don't see anything useful on there except a car seat and stroller. I'm not spending 200 dollars on you second cousin by marriage.

I was just thinking about this and starting a registry help me thread. I have no idea what to ask for but have added products as we've talked about them. I didn't register for clothes or blankets because i'm assuming people will just get those for us. Now i'm wondering if they will think I don't need them. I also don't want a bunch of 0-3 month stuff. I have a feeling our kid will grow out of it fast, i'm not sure how to communicate that either

kianarain · September 2018

@galactickates please do start a registry help me thread! I feel like I'm going to end up buying everything myself because I don't want to ask for anything pricey. Like what's the price cap for items on registry? A couple $100-$200 items and the rest cheapish? I'm sure there are rules that I am totally unaware of lol. At this rate the only thing on there is going to be pacifiers and bedding.

galactickates · September 2018

Ok, i'll start a thread @kianarain! I have my big items on there because we need them. I'm hoping it will inspire gift cards so we can use them to purchase the big items if we need them. You slso never know who is going to be generous to you. I had a $120 sheet set on my wedding registry a $300 la crusset pan and received both! Let the people in your life love on you and the baby if they want too. I also include all price points though because I know it's not realistic for everyone.

nononorman · September 2018

Re: smoking while pregnant. I also judge pretty hard. But ALSO I saw a q&a on TB today that was like— hey I smoked weed at 20 weeks pregnant is that ok? And there were 20+ responses saying yes! I was shocked like wow ok I guess were going against medical advice and just winging it?

kianarain · September 2018

@wolfmum As someone who is totally pro-cannabis and a pre-pregnancy partaker, this baffles me. Just like all "fun" things (alcohol, my Xanax prescription, etc.) you stop when you get pregnant (or are planning to). I've seen some exceptions with HG in lieu of prescriptions, but recreationally? Come on. Also, don't they drug test you after giving birth and report to child services if you fail?

not_another_knottie · September 2018

@kianarain I am a FTM. And not that they aren’t getting me anything just that they have bought me a gift that’s not on my registry. I hate to feel ungrateful but I just don’t want to have to make a million trips returning or exchanging stuff just Bc people are stubborn. And honestly I don’t really want kids at my shower but I feel bad saying no.

@sparkymcgeee I have a large variety of things on my registry from nipple cream to car seats and everything in between. Including diapers and clothes. I tried to include everything, even gift cards which I think is very impersonal but i also know I could definitely use it towards bigger items. the only thing I’ve bought myself so far off my own registry is the baby furniture. I was tired of hearing how so and so’s cousins friend had a crib practically new. No thanks. First baby and I never thought I could have kids? Definitely splurging for my baby girl.

sparkymcgeee · September 2018

@ms_stevens87 I'm totally pro registries and definitely plan on putting one together (completion coupon FTW!) I just get annoyed by impractical and lazy registries. The mentality of "I want all the cute things!" instead of "oh crap, I'm going to need bottles, and baby proofing stuff, and nursing gear, etc"
A few outfits, blankets, etc of course. That way people can generally see your style and likes and stuff but only cutesy things annoy me.

FFFC 9/21

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