The Work Thread

tessiesmom26 · September 2018

I decided to start a thread for all things work related. For those who are working, what is your plan? Are you working up until you deliver? Or do you have a set date to stop? How are things going so far? Is anyone else just done with work? Coworkers make any stupid comments to you lately? How long are you planning to be out? You obviously don't have to answer any or all of these just trying to get a starting point of discussion.

tessiesmom26 · September 2018

So I posted a bit about how crazy things have been at work, but they seem to only be getting worse. This morning I had a bus driver come to my office and yell at me twice before 8:30am. She also threw a piece of paper at me, that was fun.

I am so done. I plan to work right up until I deliver, but at this rate, I;m not sure I'm even going to make it until then. I want to save my time so that I have more time once the baby comes, but the way things are going, I am not sure how much more of this I can take.

I am so sick of people coming up to me and saying "I didn't know you were pregnant!" Sorry, I didn't take out a billboard and tell the whole district. A male coworker asked me yesterday how my water intake is going and started to stress the importance of drinking lots of water! Thanks, pal.

I can't be the only one, right?

millerbear56 · September 2018

I feel the same way - but not just about work. I'm pretty much done with everything. A lady at a gas station the other day asked me my due date, I told her, and she said my due date is wrong based on how I look. Thanks random lady.

I do plan to work until I deliver, even though work is driving me nuts, it's a good distraction from sitting around wishing time to go faster.

soehlerk · September 2018

I consider myself lucky--I work w/ 3 women, all of whom are mothers of young kids, so they've been super supportive and flexible with me. I also have a job that gives us a lot of vacation/sick time that rolls over from year to year, so I will get 10+ weeks plus holidays, all paid. It's certainly not perfect, but in America it's about as good as it gets.

I have days when I'm bored and angsty b/c I could be at home setting up the nursery and cleaning the apartment, but instead I'm sitting here answering emails or twiddling my thumbs. But there's an important loan fee change (federal student loans) coming up on Oct 1, so once that date passes then things kick into overdrive and I can start knocking a lot of things off my to-do list.

I'm due 11/17 (the Saturday before Thanksgiving), so I'm really tempted to just say I'm done after 11/16. Even if I go a week late, I'm still only "losing out" on 3 sick days--and it would probably be nice to have a couple days to myself before she comes. DH, however, only gets 2 weeks of PTO for the whole calendar year, so he's got to ration his days and wait to use them till she arrives.

Stupid Comments: Our petite assistant was high-risk during her last pregnancy and had major swelling/water gain. I preface with that because maybe it explains her comments: A month or so ago, she would come in and say something along the lines of "wow, you're getting so big!" and "that's going to be a big baby!" ...Excuse you. There's also a receptionist in our office who is SUPER awkward, and she somehow always manages to say things that have no logical response. "You're looking like two people!" and "You're pregnant!" Yesterday she asked if I knew when it was coming or if I was just going to see what happened. I do feel bad for her b/c I also have some social anxiety/awkwardness...but that just means I freeze and I have no idea how to resolve our joint awkwardness.

middleschoolmommy · September 2018

I've had a lot of people start to comment on how "pregnant" I look now. Thanks, I guess? Anyways, I've always said "around Halloween" knowing I'd be induces around 38 weeks if I make it that far. So far, baby girl is staying put and doing fine.

Yesterday I was if I could commit to tutoring 3 days a week after school. Um, no. I start twice weekly appointments next week and I already have a child at home! I'll tutor every single morning, but I can't do after school. I also had to bodily break up a fight Tuesday afternoon between a boy and girl (he was throwing punches at her and would not stop!). Not something I want to do while pregnant, but I was the only teacher that could get to the girl quickly and just sort of reacted.

I'm also stressing about how one of my classes will do while I'm out. They are so academically LOW. I mean... Cannot subtract at the age of 11/12 low (hence all the tutoring mentioned above).

pelorunningmama · September 2018

My plan is so up in the air right now. Typically I work up until I go into labor and then take anywhere from 12 to 14 weeks "off." My maternity leave is actually just working from home with the exception of the days I've saved from vacation and sick days. I know I am lucky to be able to work from home, but I do think it would be amazing to just be able to leave and truly shut off.

If this baby stays breech, then my guess is I will be out a little before my due date so we don't risk me going into labor on my own and having an emergency situation. I really don't know. I have an appointment on Monday, so I'm hopeful I can discuss how a c-section would work.

I am VERY done with work. The next month will actually be really busy, but I'm just in so much pain from baby's position. All I can think about is the discomfort. Hoping the next 6 weeks somehow fly by.

susan112118 · September 2018

For those who are working, what is your plan? Are you working up until you deliver? Or do you have a set date to stop?Yes, I'll work until I deliver. I've told my boss I plan on working from home after 38 weeks, so the risk of me going into labor at the office will be less.

How are things going so far? Is anyone else just done with work? Coworkers make any stupid comments to you lately? Things are ok so far. I'm tall, so I carry small. Most of the comments I get are like "really, 31 weeks, you're so tiny". I've had a couple days where I was really irritable, but since I started taking iron for my anemia I seem to be a bit more level.

How long are you planning to be out? I work for a wonderful US company that offers 16 weeks of paid maternity leave and I intend to use all of it. In addition, I get to use the on site day care for the first 8 weeks, so I don't have to put her in regular daycare until she's 6 months old. I feel very fortunate for that.

runwmusic · September 2018

@susan112118 your work place seems amazing!

I plan on working until I go into labor, but will probably also work from home the last couple of weeks. I don't want to risk going into labor at the office since it's an hour from my house, and want to use all of my 12 weeks that I am taking to be with my little man.

one co-worker, every time I get up, says calling the midwife? I've had two co-workers constantly ask me if I'm sure that I'm not having twins... Got to love it.

smulrich16 · September 2018

I plan on working right up until I deliver (or am scheduled for induction, anyway), which is good because I just have so much to finish up! I had an employee resign a couple weeks ago, so I'm in the process of replacing him and we are also coming to the end of our Fiscal Year which means employee evaluations are due!

My co-workers are super supportive, which is really just a reflection of the culture of my workplace. I work in IT for a mid-sized hospital system - even being in IT we have a lot of nurses/clinicians in the building, so I get a lot of genuine "How are you doing? What are your symptoms?", etc. The majority of my management team is men, but they all have kids (my boss has 6 kids), so they are also very supportive. My direct reports mostly all have kids - and they're just simply an awesome team. The other managers babied me a little bit when they first found out I was pregnant, but they know better now.

I have taken a couple of days to work from home when I don't have a lot of meetings. I am also considering requesting to work from home the week, or two, before I'm "due," but we'll see how that all goes.

I'm taking 12 weeks, but only have enough PTO/Sick time for about 8ish weeks. That stresses me out a bit. I'm hoping we hit our organizational goals and get our bonus for the year (we're trending towards hitting the goals, but you never know), which could really help ease the stress of unpaid maternity leave for a few weeks. Either way, we'll figure it out. I'm not going to bank on the bonus, but it sure would be nice!

tessiesmom26 · September 2018

Just to clarify, I really do love my job. It's not that bad, and honestly really flexible, just really stressful this year.

I am taking the 12 weeks FMLA after baby is born and have just enough PTO time to cover the entire thing. I have time to take more, but I want to save that for way after so that I can take a vacation/staycation with DH and baby hopefully next May/June. DH only gets two weeks, so he will wait until it's baby time and then return back to work shortly after.

firsttimespartanmom · September 2018

I plan on working up until I deliver - I work at the hospital where I’ll deliver, and live 40 minutes away so it makes more sense for me to just keep working and be here anyway. That said, I’m so done. Over it. We have a huge event coming up next week and have been so busy. I feel like everyone just realized I’m actually going to be gone after I have this baby (taking 12 weeks FMLA) and all of a sudden needs a million things.

People at work say the dumbest things. Someone told me I’m finally getting a waddle. Okay. Been asked if I was having twins, nope. My favorite though is when I was randomly talking with a co-worker about not liking milk and another co-worker butter in and proceeded to give me a lecture on how important it is for pregnant women to get calcium. Uh, thanks!

msb11182018 · September 2018

My plan was to work until my water broke or i went into labor and to only take 6 weeks off unpaid. If baby came the week of my due date 11/6 that would put me right at christmas break for our school so I would return with students after break in January. However, since I've been put on hospital bedrest my school took the liberty of letting me go. I found out when I went to access my school email account only to find it deactivated. I then looked at the charter companies job postings to see that they had posted my job that morning (one week after I went on bedrest). Called my principal who played dumb, but offered for me to reapply for my job if it is still available once I am well enough to come back. Now I am impatiently waiting to be discharged from the hospital next week after giving birth so that I can return to my classroom to get the hundreds of dollars worth of supplies that I purchased out of pocket before they disappear. Needless to say I will not be reapplying to a school that let me go for going on maternity leave without a word or any prior warning.

taylorort · September 2018

That’s so awful! Are you in the US? I thought that was considered illegal to fire someone for pregnancy/maternity related reasons?

bkosy · September 2018

I really was into working up until I went into labor. I did with my first. My second I had to go out early because I was in so much pain (37 weeks). But everyone keeps asking when my last day is. I'm due 11/26 and today I was thinking it may be nice to just say 11/21 is my last day.

I work in retail as a front end manager and am constantly on my feet. It's gotten pretty stressful and we have lost a lot of help recently. I just am over it. They don't even have a back up for me when I go out.

I suppose I will just wait and see how things go. It's coming up on a really busy season for us so I would feel bad leaving, but also know I have to look out for myself. I think the one thing really holding me back from going out early is that I get 60 percent of my pay and I would rather work and get it all as long as possible.

runningyogimama · September 2018

@msb11182018 What? Are you not covered under FMLA? Or are you not in the US?

msb11182018 · September 2018

I teach in Flint, Michigan.

FMLA only applies to employees that have worked there for at least 12 months. Its my first year teaching so I knew that I wouldnt get paid during leave but they never mentioned they would be posting my job when I went on leave. Some sort of warning would have been nice. But my boss has done a lot of shady things like this in just the past month that I have been working for her so I probably should not be surprised. She tends to openly talk negatively about previous employees as well, so I am expecting her to tell my students that I chose not to come back and make it look like I am just another teacher that bails on the low-income urban school.

booksandcoffee · September 2018

I plan to work until I deliver even though I know I will be miserable. I did that with my son who was also a November baby (I was on summer break with my daughter so had a few weeks off before she was born which was nice. I’m a school psychologist and typically don’t take on summer evaluations now that I have kids. )

We have had a pretty big crisis in my district recently so it’s been very busy and stressful. I’m definitely feeling DONE but have to hold it together for the next 5-7 weeks because I don’t want to use any precious days of my 12 week leave before baby is born.

Most of my coworkers have been amazingly supportive. They know I have big babies from seeing me with my other two (I’ve been at my district for 12 years now) but some make some really inane comments. The usual- are you sure there’s only one in there? Do you have the due date wrong? Can you get any bigger? How do you find clothes that fit that ginormous bump? And so on.

booksandcoffee · September 2018

msb11182018 said:

I teach in Flint, Michigan.

FMLA only applies to employees that have worked there for at least 12 months. Its my first year teaching so I knew that I wouldnt get paid during leave but they never mentioned they would be posting my job when I went on leave. Some sort of warning would have been nice. But my boss has done a lot of shady things like this in just the past month that I have been working for her so I probably should not be surprised. She tends to openly talk negatively about previous employees as well, so I am expecting her to tell my students that I chose not to come back and make it look like I am just another teacher that bails on the low-income urban school.

I’m so sorry. Shame on your boss.

runningyogimama · September 2018

I plan to work until I go into labor, which, honestly, I’m kind of hoping is like 38 weeks.

I’m planning to take 12 weeks off — this is a huge point of contention with my husband - he thinks I should only take 8 weeks, because I will have 6 weeks at 60% pay under short term disability, and have almost 2 weeks of PTO saved up, but I know with an hour commute and wanting to EP (and 2 other kids, and a mentally draining job) there is just no way I could go back at 6 or 8 weeks.

Im over work, but part of that is because it’s been unbearably stressful lately (it started to get back at the beginning of the year, then we had huge amounts of turnover they were not prepared for, so now it’s crazy busy with no one to do the work, so we all get more and more).

pelorunningmama · September 2018

@msb11182018 that is appalling. I am so sorry.

marfi236 · September 2018

Today is one of the days when I was like, "Can I just go on leave today?" I work in IT and there are some days where I feel like I'm surrounded by idiots. I compromised by leaving a half hour early.

I am due on Nov 18th. If I haven't already had the baby I plan to work until the 16th and take vacation the first 3 days of Thanksgiving week then start leave on Nov 26th.

I hadn't thought of asking if I could work from home the last couple weeks before I'm due but that's a really good idea and I'm sure my boss will go for it (I work in downtown Cleveland and getting out of Cleveland can still be a pain in the ass even in the middle of the day). The only issue is my boss's wife is pregnant and she is due a couple weeks before me so if she goes right up to her due date I'll probably have to go in (I'm the second in command).

offtoneverland · September 2018

@msb11182018 Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry. That's truly awful. I can't believe he didn't even have the decency to tell you.

I'm planning to work up until I go into labor, just like I did with DD. I'm having a really, really hard time staying motivated though and wish I could take off early. I pretty much just day dream about the baby all day and have to force myself to get any real work done. My work offers 6 weeks of paid maternity leave, so that's all I'll be taking. Once I come back, I'll do about 2 weeks of part time to help me get back into the swing of things.
Thankfully my coworkers have been mostly pretty cool about it, but it gets tiring having people ask me "how are you feeling?" so often. I feel fat, tired, lazy, and unmotivated thank you very much.
I remember near the end it got super annoying--people asking you every day "no baby yet?" and I just wanted to respond "what does it look like, dummy?"

runwmusic · September 2018

@msb11182018 I'm so sorry. That is awful in so many ways.

meg1115 · September 2018

@msb11182018 I'm so sorry that happened to you. I can't believe they didn't even tell you! How awful.

I have been pretty over work lately too. I'm planning to work up until I give birth (due date 11/13) and hopefully take 12 week FMLA using some saved up PTO and cobbling together STD and NYS paid parental leave so at least I have some pay. My husband was laid off in July, so everything has been up in the air for awhile. Luckily he received two offers this week, so we should be able to make a more solid plan once all of that is settled.The baby will have to be in daycare and most places only take infants after 3 months, so although I'd love to head out early to have time to get things ready, I'm going to need every last bit of those 12 weeks.

Things have been very stressful lately. I have been down two employees for the last few months (finally onboarded one replacement this week) so have been scrambling to cover all the holes. I've also had to be off site attending a lot of conferences, etc. lately, so I constantly feel like I'm playing catch up and just trying to keep my head above water. I've barely had time to figure out coverage and a plan for when I'm gone. I'm a director for a training site at a non-profit and we'll be finishing up one class cycle in December with the next starting January. We are rolling out a new curriculum in January and will also be opening a third site in the city, so I will be coming back to a new program and possible new reports. On top of all that, we found bedbugs at the office earlier this week. We had them once before about a year and a half ago and unfortunately I brought them home with me. It was a nightmare and took 3 months and nearly $5000 to get rid of them. I'm so worried that this is going to happen again with a baby on the way and money really tight. It's stressing me out so much. I've been out of the office most of this week, but I can't consistently work from home because I have to run the site and physically be there most of the time. Really hoping the next 8 weeks or so go fast!

lostarz14 · September 2018

I'm ok with work, I'm just done in general lol. Every day I wake up it's the most uncomfortable day of my life lol.

I plan on working up until the end (due date is 11/21). I may just stop working that Monday but we'll see. I don't want to start my leave too early. And I don't get checked to see how dilated I am or anything...not like that matters much. With DD, I worked from home the last couple days before I went into labor since I was just done with walking anymore. It's harder to work from home now since DD still has to be taken to daycare (we pay whether we use it or not) since we're not allowed to telework with our kids at home.

Our secretary (who I'm not a huge fan of already) walks by my desk the other day, then sort of backs up and is like "whoa, getting big now...yeah you're definitely bigger than with DD". Gee, thanks, I had no idea.

I'm planning on taking 3 months off. We don't get maternity leave so we have to use our own pot of built up annual and sick leave...plus I'm taking 1 day per pay period (which is every 2 weeks) of leave without pay. I took 4 months with DD.

CanadianGamerMom · September 2018

I'll be going on maternity leave as of Oct 1, but with the hours of my job my last day will be next Saturday. I technically get one year off, but due to things shifting at work I might go back in May which is why I'm going on mat leave so early. I cannot wait. Im a seamstress, so I'm often down on the ground pinning pant hems or chalking dresses to be hemmed and it's getting to be a bit much.

I basically haven't done anything to prepare for this baby because of working so much and the millions of other responsibilities I've got so I'm really looking forward to getting things ready as soon as I'm done work.

blumoon18 · September 2018

Right now, I'm taking about 10 weeks off from the due date, and 1.5 weeks before. I'm a doctor that is building my practice and things are finally getting busy, so I was initially going to take 6 weeks.. until all my friends told me I was crazy and needed to take more time. I feel good about 10, but I think I may end up with 12 or even 14. We can afford it and it seems all my friends who took a shorter amount of time wished they had taken more.

I've been counting down the weeks until I am off from work... I think I have about 8. October is really busy but once November hits, it should be much quieter. Work has been less stressful than it was a year ago, but I think there will be many loose ends for me to tie up before I go. Our house is also under renovation, and things are a total mess here. I hate being home, and that has added to the current level of stress. Hopefully the contractors can get it together and finish in time for my baby shower in 3 weeks!

offtoneverland · September 2018

@blumoon Just as a counterpoint, I only took off 6 weeks with DD and it was fine. I was pretty ready to get back to work actually and have an excuse to do my hair and get dressed. Not trying to persuade you one way or the other, but just know it's okay if you only want to do 6 or 10 and no more. I felt a little guilty because a lot of my friends took off 3 months or more, but I just didn't want to do that and don't have it in me to stay home 24/7 with an infant.
Good luck getting your home renovations done on time!

linz36 · September 2018

@offtoneverland wow that makes me feel better! I don’t have maternity leave so I’ve been saving up the past few months and I can only comfortably take off 8 weeks. Everyone says that’s not enough time and I’ve been feeling guilty. Glad you felt that 6 weeks was enough for you!

offtoneverland · September 2018

@linz36 Definitely don't feel guilty about it. A lot of my friends had babies around the same time as me and I felt really bad how they all kept saying "omg, I never want my baby to grow up!" and I on the other hand really disliked the baby phase and couldn't wait for her to grow up a little. 6 weeks worked perfectly for me and honestly I never even felt bad about dropping her off at day care when everyone told me I would cry.

runningyogimama · September 2018

@linz36 It also totally depends on the baby, if 6 weeks feels like enough. I went back at 6 weeks with DD1 and was fine and ready - but she was a chill baby and already STTN. DD2 I struggled going back at 12 weeks because she was colic-y, cried all the damn time, and was still up every 2 hours. I’m planning on 12 this time, because I’m not risking needing it and not having it.

hollyeva · September 2018

I do contract work designing courses remotely, and my current plan is to stop working the week of Thanksgiving (I am due the 26th) and be off until February. My daycare starts at 6 weeks at the earliest. I only got about 7 weeks off with DD1 and I was ready to come back, with DD2 I was off about 12 weeks and I was antsy about getting back to work by then. I'm the kind of person that sometimes doesn't realize I need a break from the baby until it happens then I feel fine. I always worked up until the due date, and while it's not easy to focus at work, it's better than being home and thinking of the long to do list that I don't actually have the energy to do.

bswishe4 · September 2018

With my first I worked up until I went into labor and only took 5 weeks after but my job is great and and I did only go back 4 days a week instead of 5. This time I will take 6 weeks off unless something crazy happens. I work for a super small company so there is no maternity leave or paid leave. 6 weeks is what I feel comfortable with while not getting a check. I am due Nov 26th so if I go till my due date I will have about 5 days off beforehand because we are closed for Thanksgiving and the day after.

eahayes · September 2018

Due on the 22nd and planning to work until the 16th, which is right before kids get out for Thanksgiving break. Me feeling "good" differs per day, some days I am wonderful and others I have no idea how I will make it 8 more weeks! I am a speech therapist in a school so I can be off my feet a good amount, but the energy is lacking and I have a multitude of IEPs that last week. A part of me is just spending energy hoping my water doesn't break at work!

iamthewalrus2 · September 2018

I have been mostly a lurker this whole pregnancy, sorry for not participating more but I really have a rant on this topic.

I had planned to start my fmla leave at 38 weeks and was just informed i am required to work until "the day of birth". Is that normal at other workplaces for fmla? I work 12 hr shifts as an icu nurse. Fortunately i only work 2 days/week but there are occasionally days where i have super unstable patients where it's hard to leave the room and days where we're only staffed with 2 nurses in the unit and I'm not allowed to leave the unit for sometimes hours at a time until a charge nurse or someone could cover. Both of these situations are rare but do happen, so I'm thinking, do they not have my shifts covered?? Why would they want me on the schedule knowing I could go into labor at any time?

purelex · September 2018

PTO at my company doesn't roll over and I have been there 6 years so I accumulate 20-something days. I saved 2 weeks to take off in conjunction with my maternity benefits so I am planning on dipping out before I am due this time so I don't lose my PTO (last day is 11/7 with due date 11/15). I had to be induced last time due to increasing blood pressure and worked right up until the Friday before... I was right at 40 wks but DD1 was showing no signs of wanting to vacate anyway. Sooo, I want to make sure there is some overlap with my due date just in case so I don't have to go back to work for like 2 days and then start maternity leave.

Hopefully my plan works but I know anything can happen

As a side note... I have an interview for a new job in two weeks so I may not even come back from my leave (checking with HR next week to make sure there are no repercussions for that). I moved to a new position a year ago but they still have me doing my old job because the company laid everyone off to meet some arbitrary profit/growth margin and so I am trapped as the only person who has certain experience/knowledge anymore.

I am done. REALLY hoping this interview goes well and they are willing to work with me on a start date.... can't say I have ever had to do an interview 9 months pregnant before!

purelex · September 2018

@iamthewalrus2 FMLA has pretty strict requirements for eligibility and you can find the official documentation online. Technically speaking, your employer is probably correct but since FMLA can also be taken to care for yourself or a family member with a serious medical condition, you could probably get around the requirement with a doctor's note or something along those lines (or start short term disability if you have it which is usually taken in conjunction). Of course, I am not an expert and I am not condoning going against your employer's policies or anything so take this with a grain of salt.

Additionally, once you start FMLA to care for a new child, I believe you have to take all of the leave at once (i.e. not 2 weeks each month for 6 months) so if you do start early, it would mean less time with your newborn once baby arrives. Just something to consider!

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