1) You won’t get a period for months if you breastfeed. That would have been nice! Mine came back at 7 weeks pp. Just one week after the lochia stopped and I breastfed until he was 1.
2) You will not bleed as much afterbirth if you have a c-section. I wish! I bled for 6 full weeks still.
1) You will instantly feel a bond with baby. Nope! They are blobs that cry and poop and hurt your lady bits. It's ok to not like them so much in the beginning.
2) Postpartum bleeding is linear (starts out heavy and steadily gets lighter as time progresses) Sometimes it will get light and then come back heavier for no reason. It also can increase with increased activity.
3) If you want to breastfeed and do so on demand you will produce enough milk for your baby. Unfortunately not. Sometimes there are things you can do to increase supply (drinking more water, etc) and other times you just don't produce enough and have to combo feed or strictly formula feed.
I though of a few more: 1) It’s normal to feel overwhelmed and as long as you are not having violent thoughts you are fine. It is normal to feel overwhelmed, but if it is a constant feeling and you are crying daily for a period of time, please reach out for help! PPA/PPD are very real!
2)Drinking tons of water will produce milk. You absolutely do need to drink a lot of water to keep your production up, but drinking too much (over 180 oz) can actually cause your milk to deplete.
3) Every baby can come out vaginally. No! Some are breech or too big. Some get stuck or are in odd positions. Some moms are not able to dilate past a certain point or their cervix swells, so they start to go backward. C-section moms are still moms!
I don't know that it's a myth or anything, but I assumed my tears would heal much more quickly! I only had second degree tears, but they developed granulated tissue, so I had to have multiple silver nitrate treatments and they didn't fully heal until 16 weeks postpartum! So just take it easy and realize your body may not recover as quickly as you assume!
And in general, do not believe the celebrity hype that people just "snap back" to their old bodies like, right away. Some people may, but for many of us, it takes a lot of time and effort to lose the pregnancy weight and you might have issues with pelvic or hip pain as it adjusts back into place. I had some pelvic issues until about 3 months out and some occasional hip pain until about a year postpartum.
Also, breastfeeding does not equal birth control! My mom believed that and that is why my brother and I are only 16 months apart, lol.
Also, breastfeeding does not equal birth control! My mom believed that and that is why my brother and I are only 16 months apart, lol.
While I won't say that we believed breastfeeding = birth control, I had one postpartum period and got pregnant after that because my periods were wonky and I ovulated way later than I thought, and thought we were safe. That is why my children will be 18 months apart lol
@Jens_Hoes Yes, that is such a good point! Cycles can be VERY wonky while breastfeeding, so if you are preventing during that time, be extra careful! (Btw my brother and I were inseparable as kids, due to being so close in age, so it ended up being a great age gap, despite my mom's initial shock, haha, so I bet your LOs will be best buds.)
@hoosiermama-2 I carried low for both DS1 and this baby boy, so holds true for me at least lol.
@awells189 I was told both "you'll drop weight in no time if you BF" and "oh you'll lose the weight when you're done". Um, no. Neither of those happened for me. Needless to say I was upset lol.
Some girls at work had me do a ring test to tell how many kids I'd have and what sexes. It said three kids, boy, boy, girl. So far...it's correct with the two boys. If I can convince my DH for a third I'll let you all know in a few years if it's true One of the girls sisters did it (before kids or when she only had 1 or 2) and it said 5 kids (I think?), 4 girls and 1 boy, and so far it's not wrong I know it's all non-scientific and very much not real, but it's crazy how it's lining up so far for those of us that have done it lol.
This might be controversial but I found all of the pressure about not introducing a bottle if you wanted to breastfeed to be a lot of drama over nothing. My son had formula or pumped milk via bottle for weeks before nursing for the first time and it was no big deal to go back and forth once we started.
Yesssss. I made the mistake of not giving a bottle enough and my son completely lost the skill (he had to take a bottle to get out of the NICU). I’m happy I was able to get my supply up but it sucked not being able to go anywhere for more than a few hours!!
Me: 31 | DH: 31
Together since 2003 | Married 2010 TTC #1 January 2016 BFP April 18 2016 | EDD December 29, 2016 Welcome baby A! January 9, 2017
TTC#2 March 2018 BFP March 30, 2018 | EDD December 12, 2018
Nipple confusion in general seems like a crock to me. My life got a million times better when I introduced a paci to my kids at 2-3 days old. They continued to BF just fine and my boobs got a much-needed break when they weren’t hungry and just needed to comfort suck.
Yes, to the nipple confusion being a farce. Ds had to have a bottle after every feeding from 2-8 weeks and once we eliminated the bottle, he nursed just fine. We also used a paci from the time he was 3 days old.
I know every baby is different but I am very relieved to read that many of you didn't have a problem with nipple confusion. I am very anxious about breastfeeding in general and I know H wants to bond with baby by bottle feeding but a lot of the info I read discouraged that and binkys for an extended amount of time. It makes me feel better to know we can try what works for us and see how it goes.
@lippy625 i feel like i could have written your post exactly. I am so apprehensive about the whole breastfeeding process and making sure to do "the right thing" or the right combination of things.
I agree! This makes me feel so much better! I would probably say my number one fear about newborn care is breastfeeding and nipple confusion. I think we'll introduce a bottle sparingly in the first couple weeks since my 30th birthday is NYE and it would be nice if his grandparents could take care of him for 2-3 hours so we can go out for dinner or something.
@lippy625 and @binxybaby Definitely get the babes on the breast as much as possible to get them acquainted with BF, but they are smart and will change their sucks when they realize what’s in their mouth. It’s fascinating, really — my son had a different suck for breast, bottle, and paci! (Forrrr about a week after he came home. Haha.) He never really took to the paci, which I wasn’t super crushed about because we never had to deal with taking it away from him.
Me: 31 | DH: 31
Together since 2003 | Married 2010 TTC #1 January 2016 BFP April 18 2016 | EDD December 29, 2016 Welcome baby A! January 9, 2017
TTC#2 March 2018 BFP March 30, 2018 | EDD December 12, 2018
It definitely is confusing. Don't introduce a bottle or paci too early or there is nipple confusion, don't do it too late or they won't take a bottle. Don't pump too much or you will have too much milk, if you dont do it enough you wont have enough milk. I remember being so stressed the first go round to do everything at just the right time. I think it is a lot more flexible than people make it seem. My goal is to be much more calm and go with my intuition more than last time.
Yeah +1 to no such thing as nipple confusion. I introduced a pacifier day 3? and we still had a fine breastfeeding journey. I also want to say that some babies refuse the bottle (at all) or certain bottles if you wait too long to introduce it. I know it is a pain to pump, but definitely if you plan to go back to work or want to leave the baby with someone else, have baby use a bottle every once in a while. My daughter struggled the first day when I went back to work because we hadn't really used bottles. My old coworker, her daughter basically refused most bottles even when she was back at work (her mother had to bring her to her for her lunch break because she would barely eat all day). And my SIL youngest refused to take a bottle ever. She exclusively breast fed until she was 14 months old, and refused real food/baby food until she was 10/11 months old. So nipple confusion is stupid. But baby's preference and refusal is real.
@CecilB93 the ring test intrigues me as well! I've gotten the same result every time that says I will have boy, boy girl. I have one son and don't know what I'm having now, so it'll be interesting!
Re: nipple confusion ..YES. I stressed so much about doing everything just right and by 'the book' and probably waited a little too long to try a bottle. I was just so anxious about doing it right. This time I am so relaxed minded about it
I just was reminded of one. When I was working last time I was pregnant I had files in a file cabinet that was a little taller than me. I had to reach a little above shoulder level to reach the highest ones. A lady I worked with yelled at me not to reach above my head or the cord would get wrapped around the baby’s neck. She’s a very sweet woman and I know she meant well so I kind of just didn’t say anything. I asked my doctor about it and..no. That’s not a thing. Anyway, all of my coworkers insisted on moving all of my files to the bottom two shelves so I didn’t have to reach. Sigh.
Listen, nipple cream exists for a reason, y’all. The LC’s at the hospital told me our latch was perfect, and it still hurt like a biotch. It takes a couple weeks for your nipples to toughen up. I wish they’d tell women this more often! So many get discouraged and stop BFing because they think they’re doing it “wrong”.
Oh, I forgot, I heard SO MANY insane breastfeeding myths. My husband's cousin insisted to me that breastfed babies did not need tummy time because their stomach muscles naturally developed due to breastmilk (my doctor literally rolled her eyes) and the receptionist at my dentist's office told me to put breastmilk in my DD's eyes to keep them blue (LOL.)
+1 for the raising arms myth!! I was like wtf lady that doesnt even make since, when my co-worker yelled this at me for reaching up high. I was pregnant with ds then.
Breastfeeding is not an instinctive, natural, "just whip it out," easy, beautiful thing for everyone! And ditto that you will not necessarily lose weight breastfeeding. My supply plummeted whenever I exercised and I had to eat all the (good) fat to keep my supply up. @hoosiermama-2 I carried my son very low my entire pregnancy and am carrying my daughter high this pregnancy - maybe a coincidence, maybe not?
This thread is such an interesting source of crazy! I live in a bubble, so I am not getting an earful from anyone I've even been doing my usual (ordering a glass of wine at dinner, and buying DH beer) and still haven't been corrected by strangers while being obviously pregnant.
NTNP since Dec 2012 | TTC since Jan 2016 Dx: Unspecified IF BFP#1 Nov 2017 • Blighted Ovum + MMC • D&C at nine weeks BFP#2 Apr 2018 • It's a boy! • Born 13 Dec 2018
@echo-charlietango Wow! I'm glad no one has given you an earful over that! I've been avoiding sushi even though my healthcare providers say I can have it from higher end places... just because I got an evil eye early on when I was barely showing still.
Re: Pregnancy/Childbirth/Postpartum Myths
That would have been nice! Mine came back at 7 weeks pp. Just one week after the lochia stopped and I breastfed until he was 1.
2) You will not bleed as much afterbirth if you have a c-section.
I wish! I bled for 6 full weeks still.
Nope! They are blobs that cry and poop and hurt your lady bits. It's ok to not like them so much in the beginning.
2) Postpartum bleeding is linear (starts out heavy and steadily gets lighter as time progresses)
Sometimes it will get light and then come back heavier for no reason. It also can increase with increased activity.
3) If you want to breastfeed and do so on demand you will produce enough milk for your baby.
Unfortunately not. Sometimes there are things you can do to increase supply (drinking more water, etc) and other times you just don't produce enough and have to combo feed or strictly formula feed.
1) It’s normal to feel overwhelmed and as long as you are not having violent thoughts you are fine.
It is normal to feel overwhelmed, but if it is a constant feeling and you are crying daily for a period of time, please reach out for help! PPA/PPD are very real!
2)Drinking tons of water will produce milk.
You absolutely do need to drink a lot of water to keep your production up, but drinking too much (over 180 oz) can actually cause your milk to deplete.
3) Every baby can come out vaginally.
No! Some are breech or too big. Some get stuck or are in odd positions. Some moms are not able to dilate past a certain point or their cervix swells, so they start to go backward. C-section moms are still moms!
And in general, do not believe the celebrity hype that people just "snap back" to their old bodies like, right away. Some people may, but for many of us, it takes a lot of time and effort to lose the pregnancy weight and you might have issues with pelvic or hip pain as it adjusts back into place. I had some pelvic issues until about 3 months out and some occasional hip pain until about a year postpartum.
Also, breastfeeding does not equal birth control! My mom believed that and that is why my brother and I are only 16 months apart, lol.
For some, yes, but not for all women. My body decided it needed to hoard all the weight it could and I didn’t lose anything until after I stopped.
@awells189 I was told both "you'll drop weight in no time if you BF" and "oh you'll lose the weight when you're done". Um, no. Neither of those happened for me. Needless to say I was upset lol.
Some girls at work had me do a ring test to tell how many kids I'd have and what sexes. It said three kids, boy, boy, girl. So far...it's correct with the two boys. If I can convince my DH for a third I'll let you all know in a few years if it's true One of the girls sisters did it (before kids or when she only had 1 or 2) and it said 5 kids (I think?), 4 girls and 1 boy, and so far it's not wrong I know it's all non-scientific and very much not real, but it's crazy how it's lining up so far for those of us that have done it lol.
DS2 due 12/12/18
BFP #1: 7/15/15, SB: 11/14/15
Rainbow baby DS born 9/29/16!!
BFP #3 3/26/18 | Due 12/3/18
TTC #1 January 2016
BFP April 18 2016 | EDD December 29, 2016
Welcome baby A! January 9, 2017
TTC#2 March 2018
BFP March 30, 2018 | EDD December 12, 2018
TTC #1 January 2016
BFP April 18 2016 | EDD December 29, 2016
Welcome baby A! January 9, 2017
TTC#2 March 2018
BFP March 30, 2018 | EDD December 12, 2018
My daughter struggled the first day when I went back to work because we hadn't really used bottles. My old coworker, her daughter basically refused most bottles even when she was back at work (her mother had to bring her to her for her lunch break because she would barely eat all day). And my SIL youngest refused to take a bottle ever. She exclusively breast fed until she was 14 months old, and refused real food/baby food until she was 10/11 months old.
So nipple confusion is stupid. But baby's preference and refusal is real.
Re: nipple confusion ..YES. I stressed so much about doing everything just right and by 'the book' and probably waited a little too long to try a bottle. I was just so anxious about doing it right. This time I am so relaxed minded about it
DS: 12/20/16
EDD: 11/29/18
Listen, nipple cream exists for a reason, y’all. The LC’s at the hospital told me our latch was perfect, and it still hurt like a biotch. It takes a couple weeks for your nipples to toughen up. I wish they’d tell women this more often! So many get discouraged and stop BFing because they think they’re doing it “wrong”.
TTC #1 January 2016
BFP April 18 2016 | EDD December 29, 2016
Welcome baby A! January 9, 2017
TTC#2 March 2018
BFP March 30, 2018 | EDD December 12, 2018
DS: 12/20/16
EDD: 11/29/18
And ditto that you will not necessarily lose weight breastfeeding. My supply plummeted whenever I exercised and I had to eat all the (good) fat to keep my supply up.
@hoosiermama-2 I carried my son very low my entire pregnancy and am carrying my daughter high this pregnancy - maybe a coincidence, maybe not?
Dx: Unspecified IF
BFP#1 Nov 2017 • Blighted Ovum + MMC • D&C at nine weeks
BFP#2 Apr 2018 • It's a boy! • Born 13 Dec 2018