September Mental Health Check-in

suzycupcake · September 2018

***This thread has a general trigger warning.***

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Chat option: https://chat.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/GetHelp/LifelineChat.aspx

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This is a safe place for more detailed support in mental health, struggles, and successes. Whereas general stress and issues are often discussed in R/R of dailies, this place is for a more focused discussion of the impact of mental health. Members are encouraged to use thoughtfulness and depth to examine feelings, barriers, and useful supports.

This post can be replied to at any time during the month. Not limited to those with a mental health diagnosis, but please be sensitive to others. We will attempt to be as flame free as possible! Feel free to share, vent, or support other members on this thread. Share a picture/gif that expresses how you feel or provides some comfort. If you need help getting started, try filling out the form below:

Mental Health Diagnosis (if you have been) or What brings you to this thread today?:

Status (WTO/TWW/Benched/TTA):

How are you feeling?

Where are you in your mental health journey? (in treatment, looking for support, on meds, in counseling, having a rough day, etc.)

mamanbebe · September 2018

Mental Health Diagnosis (if you have been) or What brings you to this thread today?: Anxiety

Status (WTO/TWW/Benched/TTA): TWW

How are you feeling? Crappy. In the spring I started acupuncture and chinese herbs because I was having tightness and pain in my chest because of stress. It went away but with starting the ttc journey and some other major life changes but it is back. I fear it's going to be preventative to actually getting pregnant with high stress levels taking a physical toll. My hair has been majorly shedding the past couple weeks which is indicative of something going awry. This morning I had a nightmare and started hyperventilating in my sleep.

Where are you in your mental health journey? (in treatment, looking for support, on meds, in counseling, having a rough day, etc.) I have a mindfulness based therapist, I have an acupuncturist, I have a naturopath, I have weekly pilates, I journal and I just downloaded the app Expectful with guided meditations aimed at ttc. I Just feel like garbage today.

suzycupcake · September 2018

@mamanbebe Sorry you're feeling down and crappy. Anxiety is really difficult to deal with so I'm glad that you seem to have a good plan in place. Hugs

What do you think of the app?

mamanbebe · September 2018

@suzycupcake thank you. Im not sure if I like it yet but it has a two week free trial. Im going to try one guided meditation per day to see if I get into it. I tried a 20 min one today and it seemed a little thin but maybe the shorter ones are better.

antera23 · September 2018

Mental Health Diagnosis (if you have been) or What brings you to this thread today?: OCD, generalized anxiety disorder and a history of major depressive disorder.

Status (WTO/TWW/Benched/TTA): WTO

How are you feeling? I feel pretty good! My medication has stabilized and I feel like it’s working! My appointments with a behaviorist have been very helpful. He’s given me a lot of tools I am trying to implement. Mostly mindfulness stuff. I’m also getting a massage once a month.

Where are you in your mental health journey? (in treatment, looking for support, on meds, in counseling, having a rough day, etc.)
Im doing ok and that makes me very happy. I’ve left the house without having to go through my intense checking routine, for about 4 days! I still check some stuff but I don’t get stuck anymore. I go through it once and then I’m done! It’s the best feeling I’ve ever had.

@mamanbebe I’m sorry you’re feeling so crappy. It sounds like you are doing so much to keep yourself balanced! You’re doing everything you can and I give you major props for sticking to it. I lost a bunch of my hair in February of this year when I was going through some stress. I don’t know about you but I hate when my body starts to show the physical effects of stress. How do you feel acupuncture is working for you? I feel like exploring acupuncture myself.

antera23 · September 2018

@suzycupcake how are you doing?

mamanbebe · September 2018

@antera23 It sounds like you are doing really well right now, did you start simplifying your routine as part of your therapy or was it a natural result of feeling better? And thank you for the kind words. It is really hard to see and feel the physical toll of stress. I am starting to wonder if the change in weather and light (it's pretty drastic compared to a month ago here) is impacting me. I might try to take some daily walks to see if that helps. Acupuncture has been good in that I really like my acupuncturist. We have been treating anxiety, low energy and blood deficiency and overall balance but because I have been in somewhat rough shape this year, she believes it is going to be an ongoing effort. Originally we thought 6 months, but now it may be more like 1-2 years. I have seen improvements though and definitely recommend it. Sorry that was kind of rambly and long

prpl11butterfly · September 2018

I'm new to this thread. I'm going to try to be supportive but as I am trying to work out what this all means for me I may not be very good at it yet.

Mental Health Diagnosis (if you have been) or What brings you to this thread today?: No official diagnoses but seems like I'm looking at generalized anxiety and maybe a touch of ptsd due to first loss

Status (WTO/TWW/Benched/TTA): wto

How are you feeling? better but still a little down. As O nears I feel my mood get better, more hopeful. I also know this feeling will go away shortly after and I'll be left with pure pessimism as I have the past few cycles. I'm trying to have a more relaxed approach this month.

Where are you in your mental health journey? (in treatment, looking for support, on meds, in counseling, having a rough day, etc.) Started counceling and u feel like it's going to be good for me. She recommended yoga to help me unload some stress. I did a session last week specialized for stress reduction and found myself crying through the whole 30min. It was shocking to me how much I was holding in but it felt really really good to let go. I want to start doing it regularly on my lunch break but need other events to stop interrupting that.

antera23 · September 2018

@mamanbebe thank you! Honestly we were focusing on another irrational fear/compulsive thought during my sessions. I guess that my compulsion to check lessened as I worked on my other issue and as a result of the medication.

Acupuncture sounds like it has been working so well for you. I’m glad to hear that! How are you feeling today? Sometimes it’s hard to deal with the fact that we have to work a little harder to get to the baseline other people seem to have automatically. I hope today was a better day for you.

@prpl11butterfly, welcome! I hope this thread can offer some comfort. I’m glad you are seeing a councelor. Yoga is wonderful! I always feel good after I do it. I really need to do it more often. How do you feel about taking a more relaxed approach to TTC? I know it’s so hard to be relaxed when this journey is basically trying to fulfil all of our hopes and dreams.

mamanbebe · September 2018

@antera23 That is so wonderful that those changes are helping and that things are on the upswing for you

I am doing okay today. I am working out some changes to supplements that could help with what's going on and will keep on with the meditation app and trying to be more active. It definitely is hard to grapple with the extra effort that is needed to just be like everyone else (or close to) but I can see that all the work that we put in will make us so much stronger in our lives.

suzycupcake · September 2018

@mamanbebe True that sistah!

@antera23 I'm doing much better than in previous weeks, thanks for asking. Much of the depression has lifted now until next time so I'm just dealing with some residual anxiety, but I'm managing well. I didn't end up getting a therapist, but I've been reaching out to friends and family for support. That has helped immensely along with getting more involved spiritually speaking. I'm so glad you have reached the med adjustment stage. Those first few weeks are really challenging! Congrats on leavin the house several times without the major part of checking. That really is a MAJOR accomplishment!

@prpl11butterfly Glad to see you join us here friend

I admire you for taking your lunch break to go do that. It's not easy to prioritize self care. Keep up the good work!

Edit: Because grammar is hard.

emeraldduchess · September 2018

Hi ladies. I haven't posted in this thread before, but I lurked on the July and August ones. I am really grateful that this thread exists. I hope that I can be as supportive as possible on here.

Mental Health Diagnosis (if you have been) or What brings you to this thread today?: I have anxiety and depression, as well as a history of anorexia. The eating disorder is tied to my anxiety and depression, but I am having some anxiety about the fact that I won't be able to control the changes in my body if/when I get pregnant.

Status (WTO/TWW/Benched/TTA): WTO

How are you feeling? Today I am feeling pretty good. I have a family event with my in-laws this evening which I am a little anxious about, but I think I will be OK. My MIL will be there, she is wonderful and is one of the few people who knows how to read me.

Where are you in your mental health journey? (in treatment, looking for support, on meds, in counseling, having a rough day, etc.) I take medication daily, but I have yet to go to counseling since I haven't had a very good experience with counselors in the past. I am much, much better since I started meds in December. I was in a very bad place a year ago, so I am nervous about possibly having to go off my meds.

@mamanbebe are you finding meditation helpful? I have been considering trying it, but I am not sure where to start.

@prpl11butterfly I am glad that you are finding counseling and yoga helpful.

@antera23 it sounds like you are in a good place now. I hope things continue that way!

@suzycupcake good to read that you are doing better. I lurked this thread the previous 2 months, and I remember that you were struggling. I'm glad that you've found a lot of support from friends and family. I've learned a lot in the last year that having a solid support system is so important.

Edit: weird phrasing

mamanbebe · September 2018

@emeraldduchess I'm sorry you're struggling with anxiety/depression and body image stuff amidst all the other stresses of ttc. I have enjoyed the meditation app for nighttime relaxation so far but haven't had much time to listen during the day. It definitely has helped take the edge off of a racing mind at bedtime and I've fallen asleep really quickly.

antera23 · September 2018

@suzycupcake I’m so happy to hear you are doing better! I’ve been thinking of you.

@emeraldduchess welcome! I hope you can find some good support here with us

I don’t know what medication you’re taking ****TW**** but when I was pregnant I was very wary of taking medication. I don’t like the thought of being on medication while pregnant but I had to weigh which would be worse. The medication or the stress and emotional turmoil I would be placing on my baby. I lost that baby but I don’t regret being on medication ***end TW***. Can you be on your medication while you’re pregnant?

emeraldduchess · September 2018

@antera23 my doctor said that this specific medication is somewhat new, so there isn't a ton of info out there about it regarding pregnancy. However, the class of medication it is in is thought to be generally ok/very low risk until 3rd tri. Most of what I have read (nothing official though) is encouraging. There is also the option of switching to another medication which is very similar and has been around longer. Thank you for sharing your personal experience with me. I have the same thoughts as you do about considering my own mental and emotional well-being when deciding on whether to continue with medication.

@mamanbebe I think nighttime meditation might be what I need most, as I do tend to get the racing mind at night when I want to sleep. It's like my brain says, "Hey, let's stay up all night and talk about everything bad that could happen over the next year. Oh, and that time something embarrassing happened like 10 years ago."

mamanbebe · September 2018

@emeraldduchess I am right there with you on that. I find myself having to talk out loud sometimes just to verbally admit to myself whatever the thing is that I feel so terrible about that I cannot stop replaying or catastrophizing.

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