Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
ladystout08
member
Re: The Great Post Partum Care Thread
-water bottle
-snacks (usually granola bars, protein bites, etc.)
-dermoplast (alcohol free kind!)
-tuck pads
-stool softener
-coconut oil
-nursing pads
-overnight pads
-wine/booze of choice
-infant tylenol
-gas drops
-a nose frieda
-cloth diaper inserts (they make awesome burp cloths)
DS 05/29/2013
M/C 02/14/2017
M/C 06/05/2017
C/P 03/01/2018
BFP 05/17/2018 EDD 01/27/2019
- Pump station set up in the guest room with snacks and sterilized bottles.
- Two weeks worth of meals ready to pull out of the freezer.
- Witch hazel pads (they are life for the first few weeks)
- Dermoplast spray
- Ibuprofen
- Pads
- Chocolate
I've posted before about my experience with PPA/PPD and getting medicated when DS was 3 months old. I'm still on the meds, so I'm hoping to avoid the struggle this time around. Don't lie to your doctors! They gave me a PPD questionnaire in the hospital when endorphins were still running high, so I wouldn't have qualified then. The next one they gave me was at a check up for DS - I blew through it answering like everything was fine instead of being truthful.
Married: October 2014
Began TTC: April 2015
BFP #1: 9/18/15. EDD 5/18/16. MC 10/26/15. (9w)
BFP #2: 2/27/16. EDD 11/7/16. MC/D&E 4/20/16 (11w)
BFP #3: 9/22/16. EDD 5/29/17. DS born 4/24/17
BFP #4: 5/20/18. EDD 1/23/19.
Last time I got a little basket and put
-diapers
-wipes
-diaper rash cream
- a few onesies
-cloth diaper inserts/burp cloths
DS 05/29/2013
M/C 02/14/2017
M/C 06/05/2017
C/P 03/01/2018
BFP 05/17/2018 EDD 01/27/2019
- Earth Mama Organic Perineal Balm
- Earth Mama Organic Nipple Butter
- Earth Mama Booby Tubes
- Nursing pads
- Peri bottle
- Tucks pads (keep these in fridge!)
- Epsom salts for the poor vajayjay (and a sitz bath if you don't have one)
- Finger cots to make skinny ice packs for the undercarriage
- Advil (you're gonna want an anti- inflammatory)
- disposible underwear (like Depends for PP bleeding)
- Preparation H for the ol' hemmies
- Colace
- Non-slip slippers (preferably the fitted kind like a shoe so you don't trip while holding baby, doing stairs, etc.)
I made padsicles with DD and DS but they were too hard and ended up just bending in the middle and pushing against the swollen lady bits. In the hospital with DS, they gave me frozen finger cots that were filled with water like a water balloon and wrapped in cold Tucks pads. SO GREAT!!! Just slip those between your butt cheeks or in your undwear for instant relief (you can't insert anything in your vag, just FYI). You could also make frozen witch hazel tampons to lay in your underwear too. Or you can buy pads and witch hazel and make padsicles if you want to try them.
+1 For the freezer meals. I made sure to stock the freezer before I had DS and it was great to not have to worry about feeding people or myself for that matter. Here's what I plan to make ahead this time:
- A few lasagnas
- Tray or two of cooked sausages
- Chili
- Beef stew
- Chicken broth
- Tomato sauce and meatballs
- Daal (high in iron - good for PP)
- big batch of cooked ground beef to make into other things (tacos, throw is spaghetti sauce, etc.)
- granola
- pancakes
I also plan to have some easy frozen things on hand for those times when DH and I are both zombies....chicken fingers, battered fish, perogies, frozen veggies, etc.
*TW loss and children mentioned*
Apr 17: IUI #1 = BFN
May 17: IUI #2 = BFN
Jun 17: IUI #3 = Late BFP (18 DPO) | NMC 17Jul17 @ ~6w
Aug 17: IUI #4 = Cancelled due to premature ovulation | TI = BFN
Sep 17: IUI #5 = Cancelled due to overstimulation (10+ follies)
Nov 17: IVF #1 = Cancelled due to non-IF related health issue | TI = BFN
Dec 17: IVF #1 = Puregon 200, Menopur 75, Orgalutran, Suprefact trigger due to OHSS risk | 22R, 18M, 16F, 10B frozen
Feb 18: FET #1 (medicated) = BFN
Mar 18: FET #2 (natural cycle) = CP (beta 1: 54; beta 2: 0)
EDD: 07Jan2019 Team Green
My Rainbow Baby Boy born 03Jan2019
On that note, if you have a really high bed, you're going to want to get a stool from the dollar store so you can climb in and out of it. You have no idea how many ab and groin muscles you use to do daily tasks until you can't use them!
*TW loss and children mentioned*
Apr 17: IUI #1 = BFN
May 17: IUI #2 = BFN
Jun 17: IUI #3 = Late BFP (18 DPO) | NMC 17Jul17 @ ~6w
Aug 17: IUI #4 = Cancelled due to premature ovulation | TI = BFN
Sep 17: IUI #5 = Cancelled due to overstimulation (10+ follies)
Nov 17: IVF #1 = Cancelled due to non-IF related health issue | TI = BFN
Dec 17: IVF #1 = Puregon 200, Menopur 75, Orgalutran, Suprefact trigger due to OHSS risk | 22R, 18M, 16F, 10B frozen
Feb 18: FET #1 (medicated) = BFN
Mar 18: FET #2 (natural cycle) = CP (beta 1: 54; beta 2: 0)
EDD: 07Jan2019 Team Green
My Rainbow Baby Boy born 03Jan2019
Married: October 2014
Began TTC: April 2015
BFP #1: 9/18/15. EDD 5/18/16. MC 10/26/15. (9w)
BFP #2: 2/27/16. EDD 11/7/16. MC/D&E 4/20/16 (11w)
BFP #3: 9/22/16. EDD 5/29/17. DS born 4/24/17
BFP #4: 5/20/18. EDD 1/23/19.
Married: 8/11/2007
DD: Born 2/3/17
BFP#2: 5/3, EDD 1/10/19
-Nursing station with granola bars and water bottles: I used this the first week or two, because I did a lot more skin to skin nursing and it was easier to do in the glider, but mostly i nursed wherever I was and didn't go up to the nursing station.
Married: 8/11/2007
DD: Born 2/3/17
BFP#2: 5/3, EDD 1/10/19
*TW loss and children mentioned*
Apr 17: IUI #1 = BFN
May 17: IUI #2 = BFN
Jun 17: IUI #3 = Late BFP (18 DPO) | NMC 17Jul17 @ ~6w
Aug 17: IUI #4 = Cancelled due to premature ovulation | TI = BFN
Sep 17: IUI #5 = Cancelled due to overstimulation (10+ follies)
Nov 17: IVF #1 = Cancelled due to non-IF related health issue | TI = BFN
Dec 17: IVF #1 = Puregon 200, Menopur 75, Orgalutran, Suprefact trigger due to OHSS risk | 22R, 18M, 16F, 10B frozen
Feb 18: FET #1 (medicated) = BFN
Mar 18: FET #2 (natural cycle) = CP (beta 1: 54; beta 2: 0)
EDD: 07Jan2019 Team Green
My Rainbow Baby Boy born 03Jan2019
DS 05/29/2013
M/C 02/14/2017
M/C 06/05/2017
C/P 03/01/2018
BFP 05/17/2018 EDD 01/27/2019
I'm sure there will be another thread on freezer meals, but I just found this out-- if you have a Hy-Vee grocery store in your area they do freezer meal prep classes. You sign up for a class, go and make like 6 meals and pay for them; they do all the shopping and clean-up. Worth looking into if you have a Hy-Vee near you or I'm sure they even do this at other grocery stores.
I agree with others and highly recommend have a diaper change area on both levels of the house (or if you have one story, maybe have a diaper area in two separate parts). DD's pack n play had a changing table that we used for the first 3 months or more of her life. I don't think we used the changing table upstairs before then.
I didn't have a "feeding" station prepared or anything but did always grab a bottle of water and a snack before I sat down to nurse or feed her, that way it was there. I always have water by my bedside in the MOTN so I could sip on that if needed.
If you need to use formula, I've heard several moms suggest having the formula in the bottles ready for the MOTN (or the whole day) before hand and have the water pre measured and ready to add right by you so you don't have to get up and make a whole bottle
Dating: 10/3/08 | Married: 12/27/14
TTC #1: August 2015 | BFP: 2/3/16 | EDD: 10/7/16
DD: 10/5/16
TTC #2: September 2017 | BFP: 4/28/18 | EDD: 1/7/19
DS: 1/9/19
Dating: 10/3/08 | Married: 12/27/14
TTC #1: August 2015 | BFP: 2/3/16 | EDD: 10/7/16
DD: 10/5/16
TTC #2: September 2017 | BFP: 4/28/18 | EDD: 1/7/19
DS: 1/9/19
Breast milk is good for 4 hrs, I think, when pumped fresh, so I might pump a bottle at bed time for the SO to do a mid night feeding, but I'm definitely not opposed to using formula, so really whatever he prefers for feeding is what we'll do.
- peri bottle (specifically this one, which will be going to the hospital with me and I will be using it this time instead of the one they provided. It's life-changingly better. https://a.co/d/ekpWxIq )
- Tucks pads (allllll the tucks pads)
- Depends (used them for at least the first couple days)
- pads
- lanolin
- Lansinoh soothies gel pads
- wrap/ring sling to baby wear from the beginning.
- camis and sweat pants and clean blankets (I'm pretty sure I just pulled my tank top down for skin-to-skin time whenever we didn't have people around for the first couple weeks at least and then threw a blanket over us though this will be more difficult with a toddler around...)
I also agree freezer crockpot meals (I use these a lot anyway now, so I'm hoping that it'll be habit enough to not be difficult to remember to doLast time I made padsicles and hated them, so I don't plan to bother this time.
TTC #2: April 2018 ~~ BFP: May 2018 ~~ EDD: January 2019
TTC #2: April 2018 ~~ BFP: May 2018 ~~ EDD: January 2019
I never had hemorrhoids with ds so I didn't think to use them but would they help with just discomfort down there?
DS 05/29/2013
M/C 02/14/2017
M/C 06/05/2017
C/P 03/01/2018
BFP 05/17/2018 EDD 01/27/2019
*TW loss and children mentioned*
Apr 17: IUI #1 = BFN
May 17: IUI #2 = BFN
Jun 17: IUI #3 = Late BFP (18 DPO) | NMC 17Jul17 @ ~6w
Aug 17: IUI #4 = Cancelled due to premature ovulation | TI = BFN
Sep 17: IUI #5 = Cancelled due to overstimulation (10+ follies)
Nov 17: IVF #1 = Cancelled due to non-IF related health issue | TI = BFN
Dec 17: IVF #1 = Puregon 200, Menopur 75, Orgalutran, Suprefact trigger due to OHSS risk | 22R, 18M, 16F, 10B frozen
Feb 18: FET #1 (medicated) = BFN
Mar 18: FET #2 (natural cycle) = CP (beta 1: 54; beta 2: 0)
EDD: 07Jan2019 Team Green
My Rainbow Baby Boy born 03Jan2019
TTC #2: April 2018 ~~ BFP: May 2018 ~~ EDD: January 2019
TTC #2: April 2018 ~~ BFP: May 2018 ~~ EDD: January 2019
My wife and I have conceived a babe with my body and frozen donor sperm through IUI, with medication support (clomid, ovidrel, and injections of progesterone)
IUI #1, #2, and #3: Dec 2017, Jan 2018, and Feb 2018 - all BFN
HSG Test: April 2018 - all clear!
IUI #4: April 15/16, 2018 - BFP!! EDD: Jan 7, 2019
TTC #2: April 2018 ~~ BFP: May 2018 ~~ EDD: January 2019
TTC#2: 2/2018; BFP: 2/26/18; MC 4/4/18.
TTC#2: 4/2018; BFP: 5/12/18; EDD: 1/19/19 (boy)
2 fur babies: Oakley Marley (11.5) & Ava Lynn (2)