Mental Health Check-In (8.27-9.2)

kayjay44 · August 2018

danixbanani24 · August 2018

So had a dr appt this AM and am very relived that doctor is on board with letting me take my meds again. I’ve been having some crazy intrusive thoughts and mood swings that are not normal for pregnancy even. Rage so strong my chest gets tight. Having horrible “bad” thoughts and nightmares. My anxiety is the type where my intrusive thoughts affect me greatly and they’re usually something bad happening to DS.

Saw my little wiggle worm on the US though...he’s doing great and that at least calms my pregnancy anxiety.

kayjay44 · August 2018

Yesterday was the anniversary of my brother's death - I ended up working from home and DH stayed home with me. I'm very glad he did because it was much more triggering than I anticipated - I'm definitely having some mild PTSD symptoms (which I suffered from for months after his death) but luckily I have the coping tools to deal. I'm trying to focus as best I can on getting through the week at work so I can enjoy my long weekend and then only work 2 days next week.

danixbanani24 · August 2018

@kayjay44. I’m sorry it’s so hard...I’m glad you have a supportive DH too. I’ve been struggling because I feel like my family is cursed...we’ve had major deaths since my son was born. First my grandma which ok she was 92 but then my dad which was unexpected and hit me hardest. Last year my uncle died (found him in his bedroom) and now my aunt is in hospice likely to pass any day now.

its my moms entire family and I’m pissed and sad and worried about my mom. My anxiety is in overdrive wth intrusive thoughts too like what’s going to happen next year? Will my boys be okay? You read so much about illness in children and I’m just triggered to the extreme right now. Getting back on meds this week.

anyway, I’m glad we can share here it helps in addition to therapy etc.

megpants209 · August 2018

@kayjay44 it sounds like you have a great system/plan. Anniversaries, especially those big milestones are so so triggering. I’m so glad you have good awareness of it. Sending you lots of love and hope you are able to take as much time as you need

kayjay44 · August 2018

@danixbanani24 - I feel where you’re coming from - I’m always waiting for the other shoe to drop and something to go wrong. It’s better than it was, but it’s still no way to live.

BourbonBiscuits · August 2018

Thinking about you @kayjay44

hoping this week goes by quickly.

danixbanani24 · August 2018

My aunt died today. I can’t explain the hole this leaves in my family. In my heart. I’m also feeling strange because yes I have grieved her and I am angry this happened but I also feel really detached. I feel like Not even my DS is making me smile which is different from other deaths we’ve had to deal with.

i also went to my psych today about medication and he won’t give me any unless I get a note from the OB. Fine great wish I had known this when I saw her two days ago. He also disagrees with going on Zoloft he says it’ll do nothing for me but he has to prescribe what SHE says. Well gee that makes me feel super confident because my OB only feels comfortable with me on Zoloft. I give up why is getting help so fucking hard?

kayjay44 · August 2018

I'm so sorry for your loss @danixbanani24. Also it's fucked up that your psych won't do shit. He sounds like he should go choke on a bag of dicks.

I'm a little too salty this week.

danixbanani24 · August 2018

@kayjay44 seriously tho...I love my therapist but she’s part of this practice and I have to see him for medication

.

ohsunnydays · August 2018

I’m sorry for your loss @danixbanani24

megpants209 · August 2018

@danixbanani24 that’s bullshit!! Is there no other prescriber at the practice? Or can they split the authorization? I’m so sorry you’re going through this and trying to navigate this system is not helpful! It’s also not good client care to limit your options. I hope you can see your therapist more to help you through this.

notthecheat · August 2018

I'm so sorry @danixbanani24
Your psych is an asshat. You should not have to deal with that on top of everything else. Sending all the love to you and so many good vibes for some (useful) help ❤️

BourbonBiscuits · August 2018

I'm so sorry for your loss @danixbanani24. I hope you kicked him in the shins on the way out.

becks_726 · August 2018

I'm so sorry @danixbanani24. I hate how complicated they make these things and how they force you to do the legwork. He sounds like a complete dick.

danixbanani24 · August 2018

Thanks guys. I know I’m really angry the system is so shitty and I’m stuck between two doctors. He has 40 years experience as a psych so I have to believe he knows his shit. My OB is in charge of my pregnancy though so I’m going to try thI Zoloft as that is what she is most comfortable with.

DH wants me to try going without but having suffered from PPD+anxiety for years I’d rather not go down this route again. Right now I’m detached and feeling not myself. I need something and if the Zoloft doesn’t work for me I’ll reevaluate with the OB AGAIN.

kayjay44 · August 2018

@danixbanani24 - you're making the right call and your DH can STFU. Having two medicated pregnancies and one non-medicated, the medicated ones are much easier on me. And my medicated baby is much more chill than my non-medicated baby.

megpants209 · August 2018

Just chiming in to +1 @kayjay44. If you need meds to feel yourself then you take the meds. H isn’t in your body and doesn’t get a say in this one IMO. I hope the Zoloft works for you

danixbanani24 · August 2018

Yes I already told him I need the medication. He’s okay with it he just is misguided in his worry a lot of the time.

I cant do this unmedicated I’m already feeling the effects that are triggering my depression and not wanting to get out of bed etc. I’ve already called my OB to write the letter and then I’ll strong arm my way into the psych to get him to write the damn script. Annoying but it’ll be better for me I know

episcowitch · September 2018

@danixbanani24

You rock for advocating for yourself and navigating a frustrating and unnecessarily complicated medical system.

I'm on Prozac now. Both my midwife and psych agree it is necessary for now. We are going to attempt switching me to Zoloft very soon. I am super nervous.

conchispita · September 2018

@danixbanani24 so sorry to hear about your aunt. Great timing on you psych not giving you what you need. Hope you are able to get a hold of it soon

kayjay44 · September 2018

@episcowitch Prozac here too. Unfortunately, with my type of OCD, it’s all that has worked so far. I’ve done my research and I’m not worried.

danixbanani24 · September 2018

@episcowitch and @kayjay44 I was on Prozac too and I really like it. I don’t know why my OB wants Zoloft because from what I’ve read it needs to build up in the system (Prozac does too but it’s faster and no crappy side effects when coming off) and I read that babies just born have to be monitored because they can have withdrawal effects from Zoloft. Ssoooo now I’m like questioning it completely but I think I should still try if that’s all my OB agrees to?

episcowitch · September 2018

@danixbanani24
It has been suggested that I switch by 3rd tried because Prozac brain zaps are a thing and they suck even worse for newborns as baby goes through withdrawal.

danixbanani24 · September 2018

@episcowitch ugh I need to talk to my OB more about the effects on the newborn...

episcowitch · September 2018

@danixbanani24 You have a treatment team. Even if they don't normally communicate, you can to arrange a call between psych, ob, and pediatrician. Be an advocate for yourself. Even if they stonewall, you are the patient and can insist.

danixbanani24 · September 2018

@episcowitch that’s funny you mention that because my psych was literally like “leave me out of it” isn’t that nice? Ugh I like my OB and therapist considerably more so I’m going to try and work with them and ask more questions about medications and effects on newborns

episcowitch · September 2018

@danixbanani24 ugh! Usually the squeaky wheel bit works, but with the state of mental health care in the US, sucky providers know they've got us cornered. It took me 4 months to get in with a new psychiatrist when my last one wouldn't hear me. The meds I had been on were either causing/not preventing ideation and I needed a change.

Work with those on your treatment team that will listen to your concerns and provide wise counsel. Sometimes we have to make difficult choises in order to stick around for our little ones. I'm afraid the med change will go poorly. Thankfully, I will be watched closely, and if it goes sideways, they are prepared to put me back on Prozac and provide withdrawal support for my baby. It gives us an extra day in the hospital for me to have back up.

According to studies quoted by my pediatrician, withdrawal for newborns lasts approximately 48 hours and has not shown to have lasting effects. Of course, your docs may say something completely different.

kayjay44 · September 2018

I've done substantial research on withdrawal and the concerns of SSRI/SNRI's during 3rd tri. The benefits out weigh the risks and my son had no signs of withdrawal.

danixbanani24 · September 2018

@kayjay44 thank you for that because I’ve been really worried about it these past few days. My cousin who has two older boys now said she was on Paxil during her second pregnancy and it was all okay and she encouraged me to go back on meds too.

kayjay44 · September 2018

The doses that an average person is on are of little to no concern. If you're able to go off them, the dosage your on can't be that high. I know it's hard not to worry, but I swear the complication rate is crazy low.

notthecheat · September 2018

Bringing this baby back since @kayjay44 is away. I've been struggling with high anxiety, super short fuse, getting stressed out all the time and way too easily. I've been trying to hold out until my psych checkup in November but the past couple days I have been flying off the handle and breaking things and that is not ok and not me at all. I have an appointment for Tuesday now, I'm sure I'm going to be put on something.

I know the benefits outweigh the risks but I can't quash that corner of guilt and defeat in my brain about adding psych meds while pregnant.

episcowitch · September 2018

The season shift has impacted me to the extreme. I've been on meds the whole time. We were going to attempt weaning me off Prozac to try Zoloft, but the results of going down by 20 mg is passive ideation and intense anxiety and OCD symptoms. Back up I go!

@notthecheat Way to go getting into the doc sooner and being open to meds even though that pang of guilt is there.

notthecheat · September 2018

Sorry you're struggling @episcowitch I've been on Wellbutrin the whole time. I weaned off of effexor by week 5 because it was causing sleep problems but obviously I need something else instead.

@danixbanani24 hope you've been hanging in there

danixbanani24 · September 2018

@notthecheat thanks so much. I’m doing okay...I finally got jackass psych to prescribe medicine so I’m gonna start Zoloft today. Ready for the anxiety to chill.

hnbergeron · September 2018

Is there a mental health check in for this week? I know most of us are internet strangers but it does help to have those who listen, relate and understand. Just want to make sure I am posting in the right one.

episcowitch · September 2018

I don't think we made a new one. We just kept this one going. Would starting one tomorrow work? Does the guide post indicate it has to start on a certain day by a certain person?

kayjay44 · September 2018

@hnbergeron and @episcowitch - I was on vacation and basically offline - I’ll make sure there is a new one tomorrow

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