My DH and I had the talk...(caution, touchy subject!)

herewegoagain3rd · September 2018

So, my DH and I finally sat down and talked about the subject we have both been avoiding, to circumcise or not. With 2 months or so until little man makes his appearance, we are still stuck on this one.

The problem is neither of us have strong convictions either way. I see advantages and disadvantages to both ways. I know that in America it is the cultural norm but is that enough to go against what is natural. I also know being uncut comes with it's own problems with hygiene and infections which we would have to be more careful about but is that enough to go the cut route??

We are just both so lost. I am hoping to get some insights from ladies that have been here before. And I am really not trying to start drama here, do please, keep it civil! Just hoping to help us and another boy mamas stuck in the same priblem.

linz36 · September 2018

I’m actually going to let my son decide when he’s old enough (assuming I have a boy...team green here). My husband is pro circumcision for religious reason but I’m against it. So we’ve agreed to let our future children decide when they are old enough. Yes, the surgery is harder to recover from when they are older but at least they have a choice. And honestly, I live in south Florida and it is not common here. Most OBs don’t even do it anymore.

msb11182018 · September 2018

With DS I ultimately left the decision up to his Dad. My rationale was that the Dad has the same equipment and would be the one answering any questions in that department as our son gets older and more curious about that part of his body. I did not have a preference either way. We ended up leaving DS as is. While my parents for some reason had a whole lot to say about my sons penis (weird), it has not had any impact on his hygiene or health in the past 3.5 years. If this little one ends up being another boy we will obviously remain consistent with our choice.

mellemarie · September 2018

I left the final decision up to DH as well. He wanted DS to be the same as him so we ended up getting it done. I do agree with that reasoning as @msb11182018 said he will be the one answering the questions in that dept. I’m also surrounded by emerge and O.R. Nurses in my family and have heard too many stories about older boys and men coming in with medical issues - I understand it’s not as common as that makes it seem but helped with my rationale. To this day though I still feel a bit guilty sometimes when I see those anti-circumcision messages. It’s a tough decision for sure.

emjohn517 · September 2018

I know people have lots of opinions on this subject. Before I knew what I was having, I was panicking over this decision. MH was firm that he agreed with circ, but mostly bc he is and believed most of the usual reasons. I’ll tell you, when I worked as a nurse in long term care, the older men not cut had tons and tons of issues. So many infections, regardless of how we tried to take care of them. Honestly this is such a tough decision. I would truly be torn as well. I don’t know that there’s any right or wrong. There truly are pros and cons each way.

ashkee05 · September 2018

Honestly I never even realized this was such a big thing until my second son. I asked my ex husband and oldests dad what he wanted and we did it. It was never ever brought up by anyone again. Then 9 years later with my second it was a huge deal almost every time I told someone I was having a boy. (No one ever asked what I did with the older one though) Again I asked my husband what he wanted and we decided to do it. So with this little man we will again. I was actually shocked with both of mine as neither seemed to be bothered by it. I personally feel like it is what is. If you want to do it, good for you. If you don’t want to do, again good for you! Everyone has their reasons and there is enough mom shaming these days I never want to add to it! Either way you’re thinking about a little man that you love and doing what you think is best and that makes you a great mom in my book!

BabyBoyH92016 · September 2018

Its a really tough decision. Are you meeting/interviewing with any pediatricians before you have your son? It might be a good topic of discussion. Maybe the doctor will have some insight that will help you guys decide.

KellyT22 · September 2018

Disclaimer: I have no strong feelings on this either way and don’t care what other people do. Your baby, your choice!

We were in the same boat - no strong feelings either way, right up until our oldest was a couple days old (5 day hospital stay for us). Ultimately we decided to do it, but honestly I don’t think we had a good reason for it.

That being said, we regretted it. He was so red after and it just seemed like it was painful. Plus it was a pain in the butt to keep putting Vaseline on and it took a lot longer to heal than I thought it would. It just wasn’t worth it for us. Then 18 months later DS2 was born, and we felt like we had to do it just so they wouldn’t be different. We felt obligated even though we really didn’t want to.

Bottom line: we wish we hadn’t done it. There’s just no point if you don’t care either way.

herewegoagain3rd · September 2018

@BabyBoyH92016 we are just going to the pedi that my daughter goes to, but we don't have any appointments scheduled before little man gets here.

iamthewalrus2 · September 2018

The AAP, WHO and CDC all recommend circumcision stating that the benefits outweigh the risks. Decreased risk of acquiring HIV or HPV from an infected partner. If you google each agency and "circumcision recommendations" you can read up on all the studies and their statements

wildrainbow · September 2018

Like others, I mostly left the decision up to my DH. We did talk about it before ds was born and weighed pros and cons for both. In the end, H made the final decision that he wanted to do it and I supported it. Ds' procedure was quick and was perfect. We did not have any complications and it healed very quickly. We will do it again this time around as well.

linz36 · September 2018

This is from the AAP. Yes there are more benefits than risks but the benefits aren’t great enough for them to recommend circ across the board.

https://www.aap.org/en-us/about-the-aap/aap-press-room/Pages/Newborn-Male-Circumcision.aspx

pelorunningmama · September 2018

I also decided to let DH make the call. He opted to have it done. My OB actually prefers to do the surgery than having the pedi’s do it because she prefers her method. It was very fast and DS had no issues with recovery. If this baby is a boy, we will do it again.

mockingjay1 · September 2018

We circumcised DS, and will do the same if this one is a boy. Putting vaseline on with diaper changes for a few days was no big deal. The only thing we'll do different is likely have a urologist do it. DS's was fine initially, but we worried for a while they didn't take enough off (which is much better than taking too much off), but after seeing a couple urologists at the same practice we decided together to leave it.

middleschoolmommy · September 2018

Not having a boy this time, but DS is circumsized. I was amazed (4.5 yrs ago) by how many women seemed to have such strong opinions against it. In our case, with DS being born early, we had to wait a while before he was even big enough for the option to circumsize.
While in the NICU, DS got a uti. He got a 2nd uti a month after being released from NICU, which was actually the weekend before his scheduled circ. He hasn't had a single uti since he was circumsized at 4 months old. So, I have no doubt in my mind it was right for him.
I still got comments from woman about how I had chosen to "mutilate" my son blah blah blah. Personally I'm a firm believer in your baby your choice, as long as it's not affecting baby's health negatively.

FreeTheElf · September 2018

We didn't circumcise our son...having girls this time so it isn't an issue. We are religious, and some family members were confused, but I just felt odd about doing it. My mother and MIL weren't/aren't super happy about it and have mentioned it a couple times but ultimately we just felt it was unnecessary for us. DH is circumcised so we are worried about the difference when it comes to Q&A time, but we just couldn't bring ourselves to do it and our midwife and pediatrician both told us it was no big deal.

lachnessmomster · September 2018

We did not circumcise DS. It wasn't something that DH or I felt was necessary, and when delivery time came, I didn't want him taken out of the room for any reason whatsoever anyway. (I can't even stomach seeing a newborn's ears get pierced, let alone circumcision.) Also, DH is not circumcised and has never had issues with hygiene, so the decision not to just made sense for us. To each her own, though! I'm not going to side-eye other moms because they chose a different route.

Eveinshock · September 2018

We didn't circumsize either. My husband is from Europe and it was such a foreign concept to him. I hear all these stories of infection which, although probably more the exception than the rule, of course stick out and terrify me. But after living with one...it's just so hard for me to imagine that anything about that would be particularly infectable...

iheartbooks · September 2018

I’m not having a boy but if I were we wouldn’t circumcise. My boyfriend is also from Europe and it’s literally not a thing there. He’s never had an issue and has never know anyone who has. On the flip side, my nephew was circumcised and the doctor messed up and it got infected and had to be redone and all sorts of drama. So, there are pros and cons I guess to both sides but personally I would be nervous to risk infection to a newborn. I’ve heard people argue that they don’t want their kid to feel weird or different but I think passing on circumcision has become normal enough in America that it won’t be that weird of a thing for our kids generation

hannahtelford · September 2018

I know I am late to this but here is my opinion. I am having a little boy and wanted to know what to do as well so I watched a video of a baby being circumsized so I would know what they are doing to my baby. It was horrible! It made me cry watching the baby strapped down bleeding and crying. I am against circumcision. If you keep him clean there is no need for it at all. Why hurt him for no reason? As with all the mother's on here I agree it's up to you and no judgement will come from me either way but that's my opinion.

middleschoolmommy · September 2018

hannahtelford said:
*snipped*

...If you keep him clean there is no need for it at all. Why hurt him for no reason?...

Sorry, this really rubs me the wrong way. My son was routinely changed in the NICU every 3 hours by me or by nurses and still got a uti. Same story with the uti after he left the NICU. No uti since being circumsized. Sometimes there are medical reasons for circumcision, not just the baby not being "kept clean".
Also, I was there when my son was circumsized at almost 4 months old. He didn't cry once. He was numbed with ointment before being numbed with an injection. The healing proces wasn't bad either.

lostarz14 · September 2018

I asked DH what he wanted to do and he said he wanted him circumcised so that's what we're going to do.

I had posted a gender reveal cupcake picture on Instagram and some random asshat posted some comment about loving my whole baby and not to circumcise. I basically told them GFY and then they made another comment along the lines of "another parent not caring about their child" or something. Whatever. Like I said GFY. I don't care what other people decide to do with their kids' penis. But like seriously, people are out there trolling Instagram to comment on pictures of unborn baby boys?

emjohn517 · September 2018

@lostarz14 omg, what the heck?! So inappropriate and just weird.

My DH and I had the talk...(caution, touchy subject!)

Re: My DH and I had the talk...(caution, touchy subject!)

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