PGAL Check-In Week of 08/29

ashtuesday · August 2018

1. How many weeks are you, and how big is baby?

2. How are you feeling? Mentally and physically?

3. Any appointment updates?

4. Rants/Raves/Questions?

5. GTKY: What’s the best way to start the day?

ashtuesday · August 2018

1. How many weeks are you, and how big is baby? 7 weeks - the size of a blueberry.

2. How are you feeling? Mentally and physically? Good on both fronts! I'm a teacher home for the summer, but I had to go in for a workshop yesterday. I don't know if it was being up and about so early, or rushing breakfast, or stress, but my nausea was SO BAD yesterday. I have an hour long train ride to work that I usually spend reading, and all I could do yesterday was will myself not to puke. Hoping it was a fluke that won't continue when school starts next week!

3. Any appointment updates? YES! So, I had two hospitals nearby that were contenders. A is a university medical center in more of a noteable city, and I thought it would be the definite choice. B is a no-name small town hospital (but it has a level 3 NICU) that I thought would be out. I toured B last week and surprisingly loved it. I toured A last night and HATED it! Throughout the infosession and tour, they kept discussing practices that are PROVEN to be bad for newborns. Separating them from the mother shortly after birth, immediate bathing, etc. The tour guide kept comparing a c-section to a "normal" birth. There was so much that just did not sit well with me. It took everything in me not to scream at the other (VERY pregnant) women on the tour to run! I'm glad I actually did the tours instead of just going with my assumptions. And now today, I have an appointment with a doctor who delivers at hospital B. Should get to see this little peanut! I'm surprisingly not too nervous. It still all feels surreal.

4. Rants/Raves/Questions? None.

5. GTKY: What’s the best way to start the day? A very, very hot cup of black coffee. (Okay, in fairness, coffee with creamer is way better, but I kicked the habit for my waist's sake. But my favorite creamer is "Frosted Sugar Cookie" that only comes out around the holidays - my husband brought me a big bottle that we kept unopened in the fridge, and we dug into it after DD was born. That was the best!)

lizziealyssa · August 2018

1. 9 weeks today

2. Feeling bad off and on. I'm on bed rest because of bleeding from a blood clot in the uterus so that's awful.

3. Any appointment updates? Nope, i have to wait for my next appointment in over a week. So terrified since my other losses were after good checkups at 8.5 weeks.

4. Rants/Raves/Questions? You don't know how awful a loss can truly be is until you have to deal with it overseas. (I've had 2 overseas.) It's terrible and adds to the fear.

5. GTKY: What’s the best way to start the day? Before the kids wake up doing anything. I second the coffee though. I miss it.

robyn2201 · August 2018

1. How many weeks are you, and how big is baby? 6 weeks today, size of a sweet pea

2. How are you feeling? Mentally and physically? Feeling good physically. Tired and sore boobs but no nausea, which for my PGAL brain that’s not good. Had ms with both my girls and none with our loss. Mentally I was doing well till yesterday when I noticed some tinged cm and I immediately freaked out. But I think I have calmed myself down enough to wait it out and see if it happens again before calling my dr.

3. Any appointment updates? Finally have my first appt scheduled! Sept 13th! My dr’s office is weird and doesn’t book far out in advance. something to do with it being a teaching hospital and my dr’s teaching schedule and on call hours. I called the other day and was told she was fully booked and they would call me in a week. They finally called this morning. It feels good to have a date set. Last pregnancy I had to wait till 11 weeks for an appt and glad they were able to get me in this time at 8 weeks!!

4. Rants/Raves/Questions? Nope

5. GTKY: What’s the best way to start the day? A cup of cold brew with ice! I love TJ’s cold brew concentrate with some milk. It doesn’t even need sugar!

robyn2201 · August 2018

@lizziealyssa Are you still overseas now? FX for you!!

@ashtuesday Yay about finding a good hospital! What do you teach?

Megz1902 · August 2018

1. How many weeks are you, and how big is baby? 5W4D, the size of a peppercorn.

2. How are you feeling? Mentally and physically? Having the slightest bit of nausea, but otherwise still pretty normal, other than being tired feeling all time. Every time I go to the bathroom, I neurotically check for spotting, as that is how my first pregnancy ended, right around this time. I know spotting can mean nothing, but for me it hasn't, so I'm paranoid.

3. Any appointment updates? Nope, first appointment not until 8 weeks.

4. Rants/Raves/Questions? I'm wanting to wait until after the first appointment to tell family, but I think I'm going to get called out this weekend b/c I won't be drinking.... Big family get together that I usually would drink at, and one family member might catch on the is the 3rd weekend in a row I'm not drinking....

5. GTKY: What’s the best way to start the day? Getting to sleep in, which doesn't happen much anymore.

ashtuesday · August 2018

@robyn2201 - I teach middle school humanities and one section of AP Lit! Are you a teacher too?!

I had my first prenatal appointment and ultrasound yesterday - we heard the heartbeat, and baby was measuring 7 weeks, which was exactly right! Is it weird to say that I'm MORE nervous after getting good news? Before, I was kind of still in shock because this baby was unplanned. And as terrible as it sounds, I knew we could go to the appointment and hear bad news, so I was bracing myself. But now that we've heard the heartbeat and confirmed that all is well, PGAL brain is kicking in - now there's really something to lose.

And I don't know if it's just me, but so much of being PGAL is so thorny. My appointment was with a new ob, and when I mentioned my losses, he said, "The chemical pregnancy doesn't really count. As far as I'm concerned, you've been pregnant twice before - once with your daughter and once you miscarried." On one hand, the chemical pregnancy very much counts for me - I saw the pink line, I had every reason to expect a baby, and then there wasn't one. My chemical pregnancy is what got my old ob to recommend me to an RE and get a higher level of care. But on the other hand, I know that having one miscarriage puts you at no higher risk than anyone else to have more - so statistically, I'd much prefer to have just had one "real" loss. For me anyway, it's such a tug of war between wanting to be considered high risk so I can take every precaution and get every bit of care I can to give the baby the best odds - and then on the other hand wanting to be looked at as a regular-risk woman, which would mean my baby's odds are fine as they are.

(Edited to condense what would've been a double post)

robyn2201 · August 2018

@ashtuesday No I am a SAHM. I just have a huge appreciation for teachers and all that they do. I have several close friends who are teachers and I have two kids in elementary school.

mrstmoose · August 2018

1. How many weeks are you, and how big is baby? 7+1 - blueberry. Due date got moved up two days.

2. How are you feeling? Mentally and physically? Mentally, I'm ok. Still cautiously optimistic. Physically, it's been a rough go. I'm not sick, but I'm never hungry during the day. By the time I get home in the evening, I'm absolutely wiped out.

3. Any appointment updates? I had an u/s yesterday and everything looked great. I was released from my RE and will see my OB next Friday.

4. Rants/Raves/Questions? This first trimester is lasting forever.

5. GTKY: What’s the best way to start the day? By staying in bed?

lizziealyssa · September 2018

@robyn2201 yes, I'm still overseas in the Czech Republic. I am SO jealous of all of you allowed to see RE's. They don't exist here! I'm treated like any other woman despite three consecutive losses and constant loss of blood from a hematoma in this pregnancy. Honestly though, the first trimester just stinks no matter where you live after suffering a loss. As you all know!

@ashtuesday A chemical DOES count. Doctors need to take a kindness class in school. My second miscarrige happened the first week we moved here. The doctor told me that I'm lucky I can get pregnant and she has friends who can't conceive at all. Thanks a lot lady.

ashtuesday · September 2018

@lizziealyssa It's astonishing how many hurtful things people say in the face of loss. The way people responded to my first loss is actually why we didn't tell anyone about our second. People "mean well" and then say things that rip you open. I wish we could've discussed our second loss more - we aren't ashamed of it - but keeping it quiet was a means of self-preservation. I'm sorry you had to deal with that jerk of a doctor in one of your worst moments!

TheSouffleGirl · September 2018

UPDATE: Had my follow-up ultrasound from the one that didn't measure! Baby grew a ton and we even saw a heartbeat.

1. 5 weeks, 5 days! I.e. about 2 weeks less than we ordered finally thought. OB moved my EDD back to May 2, boo. Trying to decide what to do about BMBs!

2. Physically, very tired and weepy (cried all the way through the animated Little Prince the other night.) Mentally, I'm with @ashtuesday - I came out of the appointment feeling more stunned than happy, because up till now I hadn't really let myself think of myself as pregnant. Exactly as she said,now there's something to lose.

3. At my follow-up, my OB said my progesterone level had come back at 8.9!

He said that they can range from 5 to 50 and that anything can technically be normal, but that he recommended supplementing to get me closer to 20 even though evidence is mixed regarding it's helpfulness. He also recommended low-dose aspirin and reassured me that having had 2 miscarriages on either side of a birth, 1 chemical pregnancy, and 1 healthy child does not put me at a higher level of risk. I don't know what to think! I'm not familiar with progesterone levels and now wish I'd asked a lot more questions. Oh well - next time.

4. Well, see above. Anyone else have super low progesterone or know reassuring things about it?

5. Coffee, liturgy of the hours, and quiet reading (outdoors if possible) before DD gets up!

@ashtuesday - I taught middle and high school lit for 5 years! Such a crazy job. How are you doing with it while pregnant? I was so scared I'd throw up in front of the kids, but fortunately never did.

@lizziealyssa: I'm sorry your doctor was such a jerk! I get the impulse on her part, but it's so hard to feel your experience has been invalidated like that.

sheslikeasunburn · September 2018

1. How many weeks are you, and how big is baby? 6 and change

2. How are you feeling? Mentally and physically? So tired but otherwise OK

3. Any appointment updates? At my appt last week they saw a second, smaller sac. Also, my levels have been increasing 3-4x. They aren't sure if it is viable or not, and I wont know till my US next Friday. We are very happy to have just 1 healthy baby...but not knowing if its 1 or 2 is very difficult.

4. Rants/Raves/Questions? meh

5. GTKY: What’s the best way to start the day? Snuggles with my toddler

mrstmoose · September 2018

@TheSouffleGirl I had low progesterone after our m/c last year. I am still taking it and the last time they checked my levels, I was at 28, so I think by taking the supplement, it definitely helps with the levels.

lin0442 · September 2018

1. How many weeks are you, and how big is baby? 6w2d, a lil’ blueberry

2. How are you feeling? Mentally and physically? Ugh, kind of stressed. I’m trying to be optimistic. *TW*I had a bleed yesterday, and things looked great at the u/s at my RE- a little heartbeat flutter, and the bean was measuring a day ahead, and a very small SCH in a good spot- probably where the blood came from. But I had an SCH with my first loss, and while it didn’t cause the loss it was a source of worry for several weeks. So now I get to relive all those memories each time I go to the bathroom.*end TW*

3. Any appointment updates? Next ultrasound 9/18.

4. Rants/Raves/Questions? I just wanted some smooth sailing, dammit. I feel so bitter that some people get to waltz through their pregnancies without a care.

5. GTKY: What’s the best way to start the day? Petting my cat, who’s usually on the bed when I wake up. It’s so calming.

jrm_14 · September 2018

@sheslikeasunburn (TW loss) That’s super hard. I was in a similar spot- we found out there were two sacks, though one was smaller with an extremely small fetal pole. We were told to except to lose it. That week of not knowing was difficult & I didn’t expect to feel so many feels when we found out baby b didn’t make it. It’s so hard to know what to feel and think in this situation. Best of luck Friday.

@TheSouffleGirl In the end, progesterone is pretty cheap if it helps, both physically and for peace of mind. The evidence is mixed, but generally vaginal > oral.

angelob88 · September 2018

1. How many weeks are you, and how big is baby? 9 weeks, baby is a cherry (or tator tot lol)

2. How are you feeling? Mentally and physically? Physically I've had a headache for 3 days straight now and nothing seems to help it. Mentally I'm trying to get to my 11 week appointment thinking as positively as I can. "I will hear the heartbeat." Feeling as crappy as I do I think I'm doing ok, last loss was at 7 weeks so I feel confident we're past that.

3. Any appointment updates? Not until Sep 19th

4. Rants/Raves/Questions? This dang headache!!! Any ideas on how to get rid of it? I've slept, drank plenty of water, trying to eat small meals throughout the day, nothing is helping.

5. GTKY: What’s the best way to start the day? Used to be my morning cup of coffee but now it's the 1.5 hours of quiet time when I open at work.

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