@kosmo86 omg I was saving that for FFFC. I ALWAYS READ SPOILERS. We so rarely get to see movies these days that I will wait till a movie comes out to just read the plot online. I keep a little mental list of which ones I wanna read when they're available ha.
@MRDCle@kosmo86 I LOVE spoilers! Sometimes I’ll read spoilers while I’m watching a movie with DH at home. He still hasn’t caught on! I read the end of the last HP book before I read the first chapter. And I’m always willing to give spoilers, but only if I’m asked.
To the ppl who love spoilers, add me to your ranks. I hate anticipation (one of the reasons I generally hate movies). So if I am going to watch something, I always google the plot first.
@kosmos86, I ate sushi during my last pregnancy. ... and drank a little bit...
I am SUPER craving sushi now!! like, for weeks, I've been craving it. but PGAL paranoia is keeping me at bay
my UO might be a heavy one this early: I think birth plans are silly. I will add that I realize I'm speaking from privilege, as I haven't experienced a traumatic birth or violation of my body. I guess I just look at the whole birth as something mostly out of my control. our bodies have been designed to do this. and with each generation, the design gets better and better. the body and the baby are going to do what they have to do, regardless of what I "plan" for. when I hear about some women's birth plans, I just think, "is your baby in on it, too? are you sure he/she is on board? did you guys have a meeting?"
@batmama31 I had a birth plan with my first, and NOTHING went according to plan. It made me sad though. I wish the doctors and nurses had bothered to read my plan and be even slightly aware of my wishes - it wasn’t a long or detailed plan. But when it came time to deliver, they didn’t even know if I had an epidural or not! Hell... they could have even looked at my chart. I’ll make a birth plan again, even knowing it probably won’t make much difference. But im hoping that maybe this time around it will help me be a better advocate for myself.
@professormama Couldn't have said it better myself - I'm hoping my birth plan will help me advocate for myself better this time. I had a plan the first time around, but once labor hit, it seemed unnecessary - what was gonna happen was gonna happen, like @batmama31 said. But in retrospect, my doctor made some decisions that went against my initial plan with no reason given and I think my just saying "Yes!" contributed to my complicated delivery.
Add me to the anti-gender reveal party team! I'm going team green in part to avoid it. It should be called a "sex reveal party" anyway. No one can tell the gender of a human before birth as @ashtuesday pointed out with her cartoon.
My UO is that I want all the people at the hospital with me when I'm in labor and at birth. MILs, FILs (yes, multiple because of remarriages!), SILs, close friends, my brother, and of course my parents. (If they want to be there, of course.) And once my clothes really come off, then male visitors can wait in the waiting room. And definitely DH (whether he wants to be there or not...) I don't have any pushy family members and it would mean so much to me for them to be with me and DH when we go through such a special event. I can totally see how a reasonable person would want birth to be a private, intimate event; it's just not for me.
@batmama31@professormama@ashtuesday I definitely think the value in a birth plan is the self education that goes into creating it. Otherwise it can be overwhelming and easy to get lost in the jargon that flies over your head, and impossible to gain truly informed consent.
@loveanddatadriven madness! DH is the only one who knew I was in labor and I liked it that way.
I don’t like coffee and we have a strict no electronics at the table rule.
ETA because it cut off the rest of what I wrote....
The reason we have that rule is because I hate how my teenage nieces and nephews ignore everyone during parties because they are so absorbed in their phones.
Also I love gender reveal parties. I’ve never had one since we were team green with our first 2 pregnancies. We’re undecided this time around.
My UO is when people say they need to know the sex of the baby because they’re planners. I can’t tell you how many times I heard “I could never do that. I’m such a planner” when we told people we were team green. Nope, sorry. Babies need the same things. Finding out the sex doesn’t make you a planner anymore than I am. Your nursery and/or clothing choices just may be a certain color.
@TumbleFluff, totally agree. what do they need to plan for? gender conformity? do they need to get little man on a wait list for the community football league?
we were team green w/ my first and loved it. i was a bit annoyed in the limited options for gender neutral clothes, but it seems like that has changed in the last 4yrs. i think we might decide to find out the sex early this time around, but keep it to ourselves.
@tumblefluff I’m not team green, but I totally get you on the need to “plan” for the nursery and clothes and stuff. We purposefully registered for things before we found out the sex so we wouldn’t be influenced, and we tried to keep the clothes gender neutral, which also helps when number 2 comes along because everything will work no matter what.
Planning is the reason we’re not team green, but it has nothing to do with planning gender stereotypes. I have to have a name picked out before baby arrives and I don’t want to pick out two that I love and not be able to use one. We also have a few genetic conditions in our family that affect females and males differently, none of which will be apparent at birth, so it really doesn’t matter, but knowing in advance let’s me get some of the anxiety about my kids’ future out of the way in advance. Also a big factor is my husband hates surprises (which is a symptom of his OCD which is a symptom of his Tourette’s which is genetic and is more likely to be passed down to our sons).
I’ve thought about finding out this time and just keeping it to ourselves, because I did not like some of the comments people made last time we found out, especially about decor and clothing. News flash: my son didn’t give a crap that his curtains were pink!
Related to the “gender reveal” stuff. I’m super grateful that I received so many hand me downs from my SIL for DD. They are nice things, like Ralph Lauren and nautica and gap and Calvin Klein. But there was sooo much pink. If I had started DD’s wardrobe from scratch it would be totally different. Trucks and dinosaurs, ninjas and ballerinas, trains, grays, blacks, an occasional pink. My frugality won out over my feminist values and it makes me cringe a bit.
@lovelybabybumpz I feel ya. I got lots of pink hand me downs from friends whose babies were a little bigger, but also three trash bags of clothes from an older boy (LOVE that mom). I’ve passed on most of the pink (especially anything that says “mommy’s little princess” or the like) and kept the really nice and gender neutral stuff for baby 2.
My MIL gave my son a shirt that says “boys will be boys”. I think she got it because it’s got Mickey on it and we’re big Disney fans, but I won’t put it on him.
@wearegroot there was one T-shirt that I refused to keep. It said “does this diaper make my butt look big.” It was pink with rhinestones. So offensive On so many levels.
@lovelybabybumpz I was in the same position with DD. Trash bags full of hand me downs. I even went through and gave a bunch of it away and still had so much pink. I actually threatened my mom and MIL that if they bought me more pink stuff I would burn it. We kept saying that we would have more kids and therefore didn’t want any gender specific stuff (also I hate pink).
I ended up mostly getting clothes at my baby shower, although thankfully my mom seemed to listen. (My MIL didn’t even show up)
this is my backup acct. prevously helloblueeyes
Me:32 DH:33 Married:04/2012 DD:07/2014 BFP 8/14/2018 #2 due 4/18/2019
@lovelybabybumpz You said it perfectly - I let my frugality beat out my feminism too when it came to baby clothes. N is the first grandchild in our family, and my mom went (and continues to go) craaaaazy overboard. Despite the fact that we said we wanted everything to be as gender neutral as possible, my mom bought pink on pink on pink. We are very grateful for all that N's been given - but we hate that half of her wardrobe pigeon holes her in a way we don't want to.
@wearegroot finding out for medical reasons is different IMO. I get genetic testing to help plan out next steps when baby is in the womb and/or born or even to help decide on your LO’s name but they all end up needing the same baby stuff. That’s my “issue”. I’m still planning just like the next guy.
I just want want to clarify I’m not against finding out sex just that it drives me crazy when people say they have to find out because they’re planners since it implies I’m not a planner. I may be a really bad procrastinator but I’m crazy organized.
I have no idea why it doesn’t post my whole comment every time!! Get it together Bump!!
On the name thing we had a boy and girl name picked out for our first. We ended up having a boy. Then for our second I was no longer in love with our 1st girl name so we picked out 2 different names. We had another boy. Same thing this time. DH and I are thinking of completely different names although I still haven’t ruled out our 2nd girl name.
Another UO - I hate skirts. I was scarred as a teenager when this creepy old guy told me I had nice legs. I haven’t worn a skirt since. Dresses yes, skirts no. I know it doesn’t make any sense.
On gender/sex reveals I think they’re fun,but I don’t like the weird themes. We did one with our second because we felt it was a way to celebrate with family since you typically only have a shower for your first baby. @ashtuesday it was the same with DD. She was the first granbaby on both sides of the family. MIL and DHs grandma went crazy with pink and lace. Like those old school dresses (and bonnets) that don’t even look comfy for babies. I would get in so much trouble from MIL for not putting DD in the clothes SHE bought her. Funny part is DDs favorite color is green. I like to find out the sex of my babies because that’s when I finally feel connected to he/she. It’s also a mental thing that I can’t explain, but I also completely respect those who wait. I just hate when team green people tell me I’m missing out because that’s the most wonderfully thing in the world. I’m like actually just meeting my new baby is the most wonderfull part. @tumblefluff I personally don’t like skirts on little girls (unless they have built in shorts)
Re: U/O 8.30
I am SUPER craving sushi now!! like, for weeks, I've been craving it. but PGAL paranoia is keeping me at bay
my UO might be a heavy one this early: I think birth plans are silly. I will add that I realize I'm speaking from privilege, as I haven't experienced a traumatic birth or violation of my body. I guess I just look at the whole birth as something mostly out of my control. our bodies have been designed to do this. and with each generation, the design gets better and better. the body and the baby are going to do what they have to do, regardless of what I "plan" for. when I hear about some women's birth plans, I just think, "is your baby in on it, too? are you sure he/she is on board? did you guys have a meeting?"
But im hoping that maybe this time around it will help me be a better advocate for myself.
My UO is that I want all the people at the hospital with me when I'm in labor and at birth. MILs, FILs (yes, multiple because of remarriages!), SILs, close friends, my brother, and of course my parents. (If they want to be there, of course.) And once my clothes really come off, then male visitors can wait in the waiting room. And definitely DH (whether he wants to be there or not...) I don't have any pushy family members and it would mean so much to me for them to be with me and DH when we go through such a special event. I can totally see how a reasonable person would want birth to be a private, intimate event; it's just not for me.
@loveanddatadriven madness! DH is the only one who knew I was in labor and I liked it that way.
ETA because it cut off the rest of what I wrote....
The reason we have that rule is because I hate how my teenage nieces and nephews ignore everyone during parties because they are so absorbed in their phones.
Also I love gender reveal parties. I’ve never had one since we were team green with our first 2 pregnancies. We’re undecided this time around.
My UO is when people say they need to know the sex of the baby because they’re planners. I can’t tell you how many times I heard “I could never do that. I’m such a planner” when we told people we were team green. Nope, sorry. Babies need the same things. Finding out the sex doesn’t make you a planner anymore than I am. Your nursery and/or clothing choices just may be a certain color.
we were team green w/ my first and loved it. i was a bit annoyed in the limited options for gender neutral clothes, but it seems like that has changed in the last 4yrs. i think we might decide to find out the sex early this time around, but keep it to ourselves.
Planning is the reason we’re not team green, but it has nothing to do with planning gender stereotypes. I have to have a name picked out before baby arrives and I don’t want to pick out two that I love and not be able to use one. We also have a few genetic conditions in our family that affect females and males differently, none of which will be apparent at birth, so it really doesn’t matter, but knowing in advance let’s me get some of the anxiety about my kids’ future out of the way in advance. Also a big factor is my husband hates surprises (which is a symptom of his OCD which is a symptom of his Tourette’s which is genetic and is more likely to be passed down to our sons).
I’ve thought about finding out this time and just keeping it to ourselves, because I did not like some of the comments people made last time we found out, especially about decor and clothing. News flash: my son didn’t give a crap that his curtains were pink!
BFP: 8/20/2018 - EDD 5/4/2019
BFP: 8/20/2018 - EDD 5/4/2019
I ended up mostly getting clothes at my baby shower, although thankfully my mom seemed to listen. (My MIL didn’t even show up)
prevously helloblueeyes
Me:32 DH:33 Married:04/2012 DD:07/2014
BFP 8/14/2018 #2 due 4/18/2019
I just want want to clarify I’m not against finding out sex just that it drives me crazy when people say they have to find out because they’re planners since it implies I’m not a planner. I may be a really bad procrastinator but I’m crazy organized.
On the name thing we had a boy and girl name picked out for our first. We ended up having a boy. Then for our second I was no longer in love with our 1st girl name so we picked out 2 different names. We had another boy. Same thing this time. DH and I are thinking of completely different names although I still haven’t ruled out our 2nd girl name.
Another UO - I hate skirts. I was scarred as a teenager when this creepy old guy told me I had nice legs. I haven’t worn a skirt since. Dresses yes, skirts no. I know it doesn’t make any sense.
@ashtuesday it was the same with DD. She was the first granbaby on both sides of the family. MIL and DHs grandma went crazy with pink and lace. Like those old school dresses (and bonnets) that don’t even look comfy for babies. I would get in so much trouble from MIL for not putting DD in the clothes SHE bought her. Funny part is DDs favorite color is green.
I like to find out the sex of my babies because that’s when I finally feel connected to he/she. It’s also a mental thing that I can’t explain, but I also completely respect those who wait. I just hate when team green people tell me I’m missing out because that’s the most wonderfully thing in the world. I’m like actually just meeting my new baby is the most wonderfull part.
@tumblefluff I personally don’t like skirts on little girls (unless they have built in shorts)