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April 2019 Moms
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Toddler Wrangling

Smith7000Smith7000 member
in April 2019 Moms
At what point do you stop picking up or holding your toddler? It’s like he knows I’m pregnant and has been extra clingy lately. He’s asking me to hold him up and down the stairs, when I take him to school, etc. I don’t want to break his heart, but when does this become a problem for my pregnancy? 

He weighs about 30 pounds.

Would love input from you second, third or more time moms out there! 
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Re: Toddler Wrangling

  • samottsamott member
    I asked and my doctor said it was fine because I'm used to doing it. Mine is also 30 lbs. I try to limit it though-not to mention I want him to start acting more like a big boy-however I can't really ask him to get himself into his car seat by himself.
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  • blueberrymommablueberrymomma member
    edited August 2018
    Isn’t 30lbs the typical limit doctors say you should lift? Plus I agree with @samott your body is use to it. I carried DD when I was pregnant with DS until it started bothering my back, and now I have no problem carrying DS this pregnancy(he’s 30lbs too). I did carry DD to bed(50lbs) the other night and I realized that probably wasn’t the best idea. So I’ll leave that job to DH from now on. It will get harder as your belly grows. The hard part is explaining to your other children why you can’t do things without blaming the baby. Say things like “Mommy’s back hurts” or “Mommy doesn’t feel well.” Don’t say “The baby is making mommy sick”

    Also my 2.5year has been extra clingy and jealous lately too. He won’t even let DH do bedtime with him. He is a mommas boy 110% so I worry about his reaction when this baby comes 
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  • Smith7000Smith7000 member
    Thank you! Just nice to know how others feel about it.
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  • chelseay416chelseay416 member
    My ds is almost 40 lbs and I've been having to lift him. Into the car seat, when he wont hold my hand in the street, etc etc. I'll talk to my doc about it but I dont think trying to make him more independent is feasible yet. He only just turned 2. I already do that as much as possible without risking his safety or my sanity. Sigh. Hopefully it doesnt cause any problems
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  • LeslieCHNCLeslieCHNC member
    I lifted all of mine as much as I was able to lift them. At some point it will become more difficult and strenuous on your body and you will have to say "no" But try and offer an alternative. I always told mine I would read an extra book or stay and snuggle longer if they walked like a big kid to their room. 
    And I do agree with others, your body is used to this. Unless there is a complication or the doctors tell you you need to be resting more and not lift over X amount of weight  all should be well. 
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  • berky84berky84 member
    My back is getting tonight and I'm wondering if it's from lifting my humongous toddler :(
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  • mrstmoosemrstmoose member
    I’m still lifting DD and she’s around 30 pounds. She’s not going to understand yet and it’s not bothering me so until I’m told to stop, I’ll keep doing it. Or until it bothers me. 
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  • chucksmom15chucksmom15 member
    I’m not going to have a choice. DS is just shy of 7 months so he’s not even crawling yet.  He’s about 19 pounds.
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  • Smith7000Smith7000 member
    @berky84 hahaa yup it is a cruel joke! 
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  • Piccola1988Piccola1988 member
    I'm in the same boat as @chucksmom15 - my son is only 8 months, although he's the size of a toddler, so I can't stop picking him up.  He's a kicker, so I am slightly nervous for down the line when the baby is closer to the surface and he's a little bigger, but people have been doing this forever and I'm sure it's fine.

    @berky84 seriously on the diapers.  I can tolerate my son's, probably because I'm used to it, but a friend changed her son's horrible smelling diaper in my basement last weekend and I swear I smelled it for days.
    BabyFruit Ticker
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  • cahalescahales member
    Unless you’re having pain/complications or your doctor recommends otherwise, I agree with everyone and think you should be fine since this is part of a regular routine for you. 

    @baya5 such a great point about not blaming the baby for any changes!!
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  • lovelybabybumpzlovelybabybumpz member
    I didn't even think of this! I have a tiny toddler though. Less than 20 pounds. She is also super clingy recently.
    Me: 36 & DH: 40
    Married: November 2015
    DD 10/19/2016
    BFP:  8/20/2018 - EDD 5/4/2019
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  • kaitykinskaitykins member
    I read some good advice that it is more about the quality of the lift than the carry. So be thoughtful about how you pickup or ask them to climb a chair or something so you can pickup closer to the height you need. 

    Also, it takes a few days but you can teach your kids to climb into their car seat by themselves. My 2.75 yr old has
    been doing it for over a year. We make it a contest and I count
    Slowly to 10 and if she isn’t ready to be buckled by 10 then I get to put her
    in the rest of the way. She is almost always game to beat me and it has really been helpful.  She weighs 34ish lbs. 
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