Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
Momifbysea
member
Re: TTCA35 check-in week of 8/26/18
CD, CD/DPO (if applicable):
What are you doing this cycle? (Testing? Treatment? Vitamins/supplements?): Started Estrace for FET, prenatals, baby aspirin, vitamin D, CoQ10, maca when I remember
Rants/Raves: DH was in such a funk this morning and just miserable to be around. DD picked up on it and that he actually said maybe he would just stop coming home, which has really hurt her. I can't believe he said this in front of a child! Granted, he was upset with me for picking on him (and I did later apologize) but STILL! She was really sad about it so I had to do damage control because she feels he doesn't want to be with us. Sucky morning! Then my work surprised me with a "quick save us!" deadline with me having to redraft a PowerPoint presentation and send it to a client in less than 45 minutes. All this and I'm trying to DE-STRESS in prep for this FET! I'm like ready to cry today.
Questions for the group: none
GTKY: Labor Day weekend plans? Just trying to still work on unpacking our moving boxes, one room at a time...but also, the weekend are precious for trying to hang with DD since she's in preschool all week, so she needs to have time with at least one of us. DH has been working 7 days a week and overtime every day trying to stack some vacation time up since there's this rare overtime opportunity for the next month...
CD, CD/DPO (if applicable): 8 DPO
What are you doing this cycle? (Testing? Treatment? Vitamins/supplements?): prenatals coq10 and dhea
Rants/Raves:
Questions for the group:
GTKY: Labor Day weekend plans? My mom is coming to town for weekend. DH is going hiking for the weekend
@momifbysea sorry about DH. Hopefully you can de stress and prepare for FET
CD, CD/DPO (if applicable):CD4
What are you doing this cycle? (Testing? Treatment? Vitamins/supplements?): nothing this cycle.
Rants/Raves:
Questions for the group:
GTKY: Labor Day weekend plans? Red white and boom festival, then the day after labor day having wisdom teeth surgery
AFM, I just got my treatment schedule for this FET. It will be on September 21st. It could've been on the 14th but the office is busy and the next week was the first week I could get on. I feel like I'm getting a summer cold so maybe it's a blessing that it's another week out so I have more time to get over it if I do end up going into a full blown cold.
CD, CD/DPO (if applicable): cd 24
What are you doing this cycle? (Testing? Treatment? Vitamins/supplements?): CoQ10, prenatals, OPK, TI
Rants/Raves: the last three cycles my leuteal phase has been like 5 days. So it’s just been feeling pointless to even try. I read this is sometimes common for a few months postpartum.
Questions for the group:
GTKY: Labor Day weekend plans? We are doing massive yard work. Not really massive, just clearing a huge bed and planting it, but we have horrible clay soil with lots of rocks and it’s like chipping away at cement, it sucks! Haha.
TTC#1 since November 2015
9/16/2016 IUI#1 - BFN
10/12/2016 IUI#2 - BFN
1/21/2017 Clomid/IUI#3 - BFN
March 2017 IVF: BFP! (beta#1 191, beta#2 378!) - it's a boy! DS born 12/6/2017
TTC #2 since July 2018
May 2019 IVF #2: BFP! (beta#1 346, beta#2 646) - vanishing twin at 8 weeks. Baby B still going strong - due 2/8/20!
GTKY: Labor Day weekend plans? went to Red white and boom with hubby friday night, sat night and sunday night. went out to eat labor day and then swimming at in-law's with hubby.
CD, CD/DPO (if applicable): Ovulation is around the corner
What are you doing this cycle? (Testing? Treatment? Vitamins/supplements?): Multivitamins, Vit D, Maca powder, CoQ10, Folate
Rants/Raves: DH suffers from ED. Every cycle seems to be passing by with no change.I am losing it with time. So hard to hold myself in this journey.Getting frustrated. Will be happy to have suggestions from you all
Questions for the group: Two questions - 1) Mentioned above. 2) Both of us are taking multivitamins, maca and folate. Also, trying to be regular with physical fitness. Is there anything else we need to do?
GTKY: Labor Day weekend plans? We had a wonderful labor day weekend at West Coast with frens.
Momifbysea - Hope things get sorted. GL for the FET cycle.
@ Mack2342 - I am sure you had a great time with Mommy!
@pegs007 in answer to your first question, I guess I’m just really stubborn lol. But seriously it takes a toll on us - how long have you been trying? For me it’s 3 years and I sometimes dream of this chapter being over but I also don’t want regrets of knowing I could have tried more/longer. But that’s different for each person/couple. The group on here is so valuable though in helping supportvyou when you need to be lifted up. We all get it!
For your second question, it sounds like your supplements and exercise are good. I read some books that convinced me to organic if you can swing the cost (if not at least buy organic for the dirty dozen). Those books also convinced me to look st my beauty product/makeup exposures to toxins (google environmental working group where you can see products rated).
We have been trying since last 8 months only but I am already losing it due to multiple factors like age (I am 38), no kid, DH's condition and flying time. Yes we are already eating and using organic/natural stuff so, that's taken care of.
I wanted to ask you about acupuncture? How was it? Did you experience any significant difference
Just wanted to update you all that for the first time since starting all this RE stuff as well as our year on our own prior, I am LOOKING AT TWO LINES ON A FRER!!! The second one is faint but it is there DH agrees. This morning is 6dp5dt and I had taken one yesterday at 3pm that was a squinter but barely there. We are cautiously filled with hope here.