PGAL Check-in w/o 8/22

wildrainbow · August 2018

This is a check in for those of us who are experiencing pregnancy after a loss (miscarriage, chemical pregnancy, stillbirth, child loss, to name a few). Hopefully we can all lend support to each other through the hormone-filled craziness that is pregnancy! Just a reminder: there is a general loss trigger warning on this entire thread.

1. How far along are you? Any milestones?

2. How are you feeling (pregnancy symptoms)?

3. How are you feeling (anxiety wise)?

4. Any appointment updates?

5. What's been happening in your life this week? Rants/raves/whatever (Dear diary posts and venting are welcome and encouraged here):

GTKY: Are you going to do any rainbow themed pics or something to that effect when baby is here?

Edit: formatting

emjohn517 · August 2018

29+3

Heavy, bloated, stretched to the max lol

Starting to think im crazy for willingly putting myself through labor again lol. The first time was normal, unknown anxiety. I did not forget labor pain, I remember that crap lol, I cannot believe I’m willing to do it again and I’m starting to freak out a bit.

Ready for this hot summer to be over and for some chilly fall weather. So sick of sweating.

I have not planned to do anything rainbow themed this time. My miscarriage was before my DD, so she is technically my rainbow baby. While I’ve been lucky to have my daughter after a loss, the fear and anxiety of a loss never really goes away, even if I’d had 10 healthy babies in between there.

wildrainbow · August 2018

1. How far along are you? Any milestones?
28+4

2. How are you feeling (pregnancy symptoms)?
Tired, ginormous, sore back

3. How are you feeling (anxiety wise)?
Meh, I'm ok. I'm trying to get everything done, but H isn't being much help and I need his help to get to boxes and crap. I realistically have 5 ish weeks left, that isn't much time.

4. Any appointment updates?
Had my GTT on Tuesday, I passed. Monitoring appt next week with u/s to check growth, and hope we dont have a baby yet.

5. What's been happening in your life this week? Rants/raves/whatever (Dear diary posts and venting are welcome and encouraged here):
I am sad that my body seems to hate pregnancy. Whether it's getting pregnant, staying pregnant, or even carrying baby. My body just can't seem to get it together and it hurts just a bit, especially considering all the women in my family are fertile myrtles and never had a complication ever. It sucks that this babe has to be our last because I'm not sure my body can handle another pregnancy.

GTKY: Are you going to do any rainbow themed pics or something to that effect when baby is here? Baby is going to take a pic in his brother's rainbow hat. It was hand made my another loss mama that I know. He is our second rainbow, and, like his brother, a true miracle.

emjohn517 · August 2018

@wildrainbow I hear you. I always imagined having loads of kids, like at least 4. Never did I imagine having fertility issues, never did I imagine having a miscarriage, pregnancy complications, a traumatic birth, NICU stay. None of that ever occurred to me until it happened and it’s all incredibly traumatic. I don’t know if this is my last pregnancy, I’m not ready to emotionally come to terms with that. But birth is a risk with my complications, I’m risking my life to bring another child here and I don’t know if after this one I’ll have it in me to risk that again. My girls need their mom. I need to be here for them. As much as I want them to have a big family of siblings, I want to be there for them, too. Im struggling with that emotionally and honestly I’ve been suppressing a lot of it.

ginny_203 · August 2018

1. How far along are you? Any milestones? 26+2

2. How are you feeling (pregnancy symptoms)? Feeling great lately! Although last night I fell asleep at 7:30 on the couch... not sure if it's a pregnancy fail or just that I've had a really rough couple of weeks at work.

3. How are you feeling (anxiety wise)? Really good. I'm finally feeling like things might just go like they're supposed to for once? Throughout this entire pregnancy I've been bracing myself for bad news. I'm almost to the point where I feel like everything will be ok.

4. Any appointment updates? Saw the MFM yesterday and baby looked great. They were very happy with my GCT results but mentioned that they would like for me to repeat the 1 hour a couple more times, once next week and once around 32 weeks which I'm happy to do.

5. What's been happening in your life this week? Rants/raves/whatever (Dear diary posts and venting are welcome and encouraged here): For whatever reason, when anyone is out on our team I'm their backup. My colleague was out last week and I was doing double duty, and now my boss is out which means I'm REALLY doing double duty. Feeling exhausted after a couple of weeks of that and not quite understanding why no one else can cover for anyone on our team besides me.

Aside from that, my first baby shower is this weekend (having two because my parents live several states away from where my inlaws live)! I'm not really a shower person but I'm looking forward to it nonetheless. Two of my girlfriends who each live 3 hours away from me in opposite directions are going to do a slumber party with me and my mom on Saturday which should be really fun. I haven't seen them since I was 8 weeks and 12 weeks pregnant, and they're my BFFs. Now if only I could enjoy some wine with them...

GTKY: Are you going to do any rainbow themed pics or something to that effect when baby is here? I don't think so, but I LOVE what @mockingjay1 is doing for hers!

mockingjay1 · August 2018

@ginny_203 - thank you! Hopefully it all comes together nicely!

1. How far along are you? Any milestones?
28w4d

2. How are you feeling (pregnancy symptoms)?
exhausted, sciatic pain, braxton hicks

3. How are you feeling (anxiety wise)?
pretty good - we've been so busy the last month+ that there hasn't been a ton of time to be anxious about baby. I am getting really excited to meet him/her and those big kicks/body rolls make me so happy.

4. Any appointment updates?
Just normal appointments. I need to watch my sugars more which is easily done with diet (I have GD). We've been eating out a looooot and we were without a fridge for a week (and now we have a mini fridge until ours comes in) and even so most of my high sugars aren't much over where they want them. I just need to buckle down now that we're slowly settling in and not have giant milkshakes for meals...

5. What's been happening in your life this week? Rants/raves/whatever (Dear diary posts and venting are welcome and encouraged here):
Lots of unpacking! Last night was a rough night for DS for some reason (he kept waking up crying) so we let him sleep with us and he still woke up 7-8 times crying and then falling back asleep. I hope tonight is better.

GTKY: Are you going to do any rainbow themed pics or something to that effect when baby is here?
Yes! We had a loss before DS, and another last summer before this baby. There will be one or two rainbow signs inspired by what I put in the nursery thread hanging in the nursery. I also plan to have my newborn photographer take one rainbow baby picture. I am ordered something for each sex. Likely the felt hearts for a boy and some kind of tieback/headband for a girl. Something simple but elegant.

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