Crazy Neighbour Stories - August

leighbrek · August 2018

I super loved the thread about roommates, so I thought it would be fun to have another thread along that vein.

What's your crazy neighbour story?

hollye30 · August 2018

We had a neighbour that my husband and I called Crazy Bird Lady. She was probably in her 50s lived alone wore short shorts. She had an elaborate garden with probably 20 bird feeders. The birds were everywhere and would poop on all our deck furniture. We purchased a fake owl to keep the birds away and so did all the neighbours. My husband would avoid cooking on the bbq when she was outside so that he wouldn't have to talk to her. She sold her house and the new owners downsized the gardens and took out the bird feeders. I was talking with them and when they were viewing the house they noticed all the owls at everyone else's.

That's about as crazy as we get. The rest of our neighbours are pretty normal.

jgil85 · August 2018

We live in a very quiet neighborhood where everyone pretty much keeps to themselves. I've only met a handful of people and we've lived here for 5 years now. There's a neighbor across the street who is married and again, I've never met him or his wife.

One day their garage door is open and I hear yelling. I'm just walking my dog, minding my own business but low key trying to listen. All of a sudden, he comes flying out of his house and looks at me, and yells to me "Dont ever f*cking get married!!" I was totally shocked but yelled back "I love being married, thank you very much!" He has never spoken another word to me or even looked my direction when hes outside now.

I've got stories for days about the crazies that lived next door to my parents!

leighbrek · August 2018

My neighbour across the street is the neighborhood busybody. For context, the mailman accidentally put my next door neighbour's mail in my mailbox, so I took the letter over... I was barely across the lawn when she was out on her front porch, yelling to me that the neighbour guy had left like half an hour earlier.

So anyway, back when my ex and I split, I'd decided to redo the front garden to burn off some emotion. I was pulling out all the old plants, and this biddy comes charging over, screaming about how I couldn't remove the hosta. I asked her if she wanted it, and she said no, but told me I couldn't remove it. I rolled my eyes and turned away to ignore her when she suddenly blurts, "Where's that man of yours? I haven't seen him around in a long time. He'd talk some sense into you." Omg, if the shovel had been in my hands at that moment... But her mother must have heard what was going on, because she came running over and told the witch that she can't barge into people's private lives like that ( clearly having figured out the ex was gone), and the biddy said, "I'm the neighbour! I have the right to know!"
*facepalm*
I've been pretty rude to her since then, so she stopped so much as making eye contact with me. lol

libertymomrn · August 2018

When I was a teenager, we lived in a pretty nice suburb with a more rural feel; everyone lived on an acre or more, many neighbors had horses, lots of gardens, everybody knew each other and was (too) involved in everyone else’s business and such. Anyway, our next door neighbor lived in beautiful large home. She was a massage therapist, and even as a teen I wondered how she could afford such a nice house in such a nice neighborhood on a massage therapist’s income alone. One day, she was arrested, which shocked the neighborhood. However, it made sense how she could afford the nice house and the horses and such. Apparently her massage parlor was selling a lot more than massages.

The first reaction of my brothers and I was to make jokes about it. My mom’s reaction, however, taught me a lesson I’ve never forgotten. She went to visit our neighbor in jail, and assured her that her animals would be taken care of and her home would be watched. My mom is allergic to most animal fur, but she took allergy meds and went everyday to feed and water the horses and dogs and to water her plants. She even made sure her refrigerator was stocked with casseroles for when she got home. I asked my mom, “You know what she did, right?” And my mom replied, “Well, we don’t know for sure what happened and even if it’s true, she’s still going through a hard time right now and doesn’t need people being mean. And besides all that, it’s not the animals’ fault.”

leighbrek · August 2018

@libertymomrn Your mom sounds like a really good person!

kaf1788 · August 2018

I live in a 3 family house. I wouldn’t necessarily call our downstairs neighbor crazy I just don’t understand how she functions in life. Over the winter our pipes burst and flooded her kitchen. She got a very nice insurance payout to cover completely new cabinets and floors and just...hasn’t done anything. The water ended up going straight through to the basement because she had never fixed her floor from when the same thing happened a few years ago (before we lived there). Fast forward to this month, the condo association got our water bill for the month and it was 5x higher than the last month. We were trying to figure out how the eff that happened and it turns out downstairs neighbors toilet has been running for WEEKS. That’s such an easy fix and she’s a public school teacher who’s off for the summer so how hard could it possibly be to have a plumber come out if you can’t fix it yourself? I just don’t understand her life at all.

mtengl · August 2018

Our current neighbor has called the cops on us because when we water our lawn sometimes the water from the sprinkler will accidentally go over the fence and hit his car with water....

kns1988 · August 2018

I had neighbors that had sex SO LOUD that I almost slipped an anonymous note under their door. I could hear it echoing off the next door building even with my windows shut.

galactickates · August 2018

mtengl said:

Our current neighbor has called the cops on us because when we water our lawn sometimes the water from the sprinkler will accidentally go over the fence and hit his car with water....

Why wouldn't they just walk next door and ask. Wtf is wrong with people? Use your words and don't waste police officers time.

mtengl · August 2018

@galactickates he called the cops after he came over and banged on our door and we moved the sprinkler over and I had made sure it wasn’t going over the fence, but I live in south Texas with a lot of wind and few drops fell onto his car. The cops even said there was only one or two drops coming over.

pttomato · August 2018

I think my mom might be a crazy neighbor. She manages to get into arguments over trimming bushes most places she lives.

libertymomrn · August 2018

leighbrek said:

@libertymomrn Your mom sounds like a really good person!

Better than I am! I’m trying to be more like her. Honestly my first reaction is usually still snark or a joke, but at least I try to follow it up with service and love.

kns1988 · August 2018

pttomato said:

I think my mom might be a crazy neighbor. She manages to get into arguments over trimming bushes most places she lives.

Oh man, your mom would hate me. I have two rows of hedges separating my backyard from my neighbors'. The 80 year old neighbor usually trims the one on his side, even though they belong to me, but I did it this week because I felt guilty. They're definitely more wavy and less pristine than when he does it. I didn't even get to the side separating from the other neighbors... It's hard to find the time with a toddler!

DLpanda08 · August 2018

When we lived in an apartment right after we got married our neighbors across the pool from us would have sex parties with the curtains and blinds open. The whole neighborhood got a view of their kinky shenanigans.

Our current next next door neighbor likes to call 911 whenever DS and his friends play outside in our driveway because they “must be plotting something at their age”. I know this because my brother is a 911 operator for our area and has been the recipient of this man’s calls many times since we moved in.

Rachel2066 · August 2018

So the drain in my driveway clogs and floods my garage and basement whenever we get heavy rain. This means that whenever there is a heavy rainstorm either my husband or I have to go out and clear the drain.

So a couple of weeks ago I am standing in my garage doorway in the middle of a torrential rainstorm and I hear weird noises to my left. I look over and I realize that my new neighbors who just moved in a week or so ago are out on their screened in porch.
Weird noises continue, and I come to the realization they are doing one of 2 things on a screened in porch in the middle of a rainstorm - either having a dance party or having sex.
Suddenly one of them notices me and waves and says "Hi Neighbor!" (keep in mind I still have not actually met them other than this).

I say wave and say hello and then go back to raking my driveway in the torrential rain. Not sure if they are the weird neighbor in this story, or if I am the weird neighbor in theirs. Lol!

Jackiemxoxo · August 2018

In our last home we had a problem with neighborhood kids breaking into the cars. One day DH or I forgot to lock the doors on one car and it got stolen from. We knew it mustve been kids because they didn't take any valuable electronics but they took a $5 bill and a prescription bottle of meds. The prescription bottle was an anti-diarrheal. We were laughing so hard that they are going to take them trying to get high and then not be able to sh@t for a week.

mtengl · August 2018

@DLpanda08 I imagined your kid being under the age of 7 and the neighbor calling the cops

kaf1788 · August 2018

@DLpanda08 oof I wish people would get fined for stupid 911 calls.

DLpanda08 · August 2018

@mtengl some of the kids he plays with are that young! And even though my kid is 11, it’s insane to me that this guy is freaked out over them playing basketball or riding bikes.

@kaf1788 same. It drives my brother up the wall. He gets some seriously random calls. One person called because they thought 911 was also Apple support

AliKay20 · August 2018

Oh man, these have all been so entertaining to read. I’m getting a pedicure and these ladies think I’m weird bc I keep chuckling and my nail tech just held my foot to say “stop shaking.”

I have nosy neighbors across our house and to count, we only had two weird encounters w them:

1. Right when we moved in, I saw the husband walk over w his son to drop something in our mailbox. I was in DD’s nursery facing the street so I saw this all play out. Two seconds later, he turns around and walks back (without his son this time) to our front door. My assumption: He invited us to something only to take the invitation out? Idk. We’ll never know.

2. We’ve exchanged a few hello’s and the wife must’ve thought this was an OK thing to do: She printed out 50 pages of chemicals used to kill mosquitoes in our yard. She saw that we use this mosquito company and wrote a note w her research that what we’re doing is killing plants and animals including our dog. What she doesn’t know is that this company we chose has natural ingredients option and she basically had no idea wtf she was talking about. She left her name and number — IDK what she was expecting. A text saying “thank you for doing the research, we will stop this service immediately?” Hmmm. I wanted to respond to her but DH said to let it go. I’m so glad I did not respond bc what else would she/they encounter us about next?

Previous owners did warn us that they are very weird. They hold cook outs and dinner parties that we don’t go to. Last year, they invited us to a party on Christmas day. Whaaaaaat?

The reason why we’re thinking of getting Nest or Ring camera is bc of them. Weird AF!!!

pttomato · August 2018

kns1988 said:

pttomato said:

I think my mom might be a crazy neighbor. She manages to get into arguments over trimming bushes most places she lives.

Oh man, your mom would hate me. I have two rows of hedges separating my backyard from my neighbors'. The 80 year old neighbor usually trims the one on his side, even though they belong to me, but I did it this week because I felt guilty. They're definitely more wavy and less pristine than when he does it. I didn't even get to the side separating from the other neighbors... It's hard to find the time with a toddler!

If you let her trim her side she would be happy, haha. The arguments usually happen when she trims stuff on her side and the neighbors don't want it trimmed.

wildcat2017 · August 2018

@libertymomrn I really love your story. Your mom sounds sweet. A great reminder for us all.

sfgiantsgamerbabe · August 2018

These stories are great! We don’t really have any weird neighbors where we are now (or are WE the weird neighbors?!). We live in an older neighborhood with a lot of retired people.

When we lived in our apartment, there was a woman and her young adult son that lived above us. They would fight all. The. Time. It got so bad one night that I almost called the cops. She was really nice whenever we crossed paths but she constantly fought with her son.

In our first apartment (same complex but different side), I woke up to what sounded like a pile of plates crashing to the ground. Turns out, our neighbor across the way got drunk and put her leg through the window. A friend of hers was able to call an ambulance.

libertymomrn · August 2018

We had a neighbor who went to our church. She was older and likely had a bit of dementia. She loves to participate in church but because she said such odd things, they tried to have her participate in smaller ways, like saying a prayer. This particular Sunday, she was giving the closing prayer and it lastest 7-10 minutes, and that’s not even the weird part. Her prayer wasn’t so much a pray as it was offering odd advice and directives. I remember one of the things she said in the prayer was along the lines of “I have been thinking for sometime about the end of days and I want everyone on this room to know that if you’re ever in a situation where someone is holding your family or children hostage and threatens to harm or kill them if you don’t sin or deny Christ, that it is a more righteous choice to choose not to sin and that your family will be rewarded on high. I think every parent in this room should committ to making that decision right now.”

Weirdest prayer I’ve ever heard.

DLpanda08 · August 2018

@AliKay20 I highly recommend the Nest doorbell or one of their cameras! We have one and it is awesome. My parents have the ring doorbell and they like it a lot. Definitely worth the investment.

kns1988 · August 2018

@libertymomrn wow, that would make me super uncomfortable. They should probably not let her do public prayers anymore.

molosmiles · August 2018

I had this odd couple live in a condo around the corner and they would fight constantly. You would her the woman occasionally but the man was just loud and scary. I always listened because I was sure he was going to hurt her. I had to call the cops a time or two...and other neighbors have as well. They also grew pot on their tiny patio. Mind you, I'm in CA and we called the sheriff because the smell stayed in my condo all day and they said "they probably have their card, nothing we can do". And to each their own, but we are in condos not houses. There were so many kids. That whole complex was full of crazies.

I lived in these tiny 1 bedroom condos once with thin walls and one time when I was in the bathroom I heard my neighbor come into his bathroom, and say, "ahhhhh that felt goooood" pretty sure he was pooping and it still makes me laugh.

molosmiles · August 2018

Oh my gosh how did I forget about the hoarders? I lived in these 2 bedroom apartments and next door, shared a kitchen wall, was a family of 5 (parents, teenager daughter, preteen boy, and a 10 year girl. First of all so many people for these small apartments, but they were hoarders. You could see boxes smashed up against every window, they never opened a window or blind and the blinds were completely damaged. I could only imagine what it looked like inside. So I got pregnant with DD1 while living there but then the place became infested with mice. The smell was SO bad I couldn't go in the kitchen and lived in my bedroom until we moved out. The whole complex had mice, but these neighbors didn't even know they had them in their apartment. The teenage daughter told me that she lived mice and would gladly come and catch them for me. I was so happy to leave that place.

kianarain · August 2018

Omg, dying at these stories! I've lived in apartments most of my adult life and haven't found a super crazy neighbor (yet), but my mom's old neighbor has given us some epic stories.

When I was in middle school, I made friends with a girl in my neighborhood who had the CRAZIEST mom. To say she was a nosy neighbor would be the understatement of the century. We have a few examples of just how crazy this got.

One of the first is when I was learning to drive. I was going super slow around the neighborhood, with my mom in the passenger seat & my older sister in the back. We saw her and I slowed down even more to say a rolling hello. She begins talking SO much that she actually holds on to the window of the car and trots along with us for like 4 blocks while I'm trying to shake her off... Another good one is when my mom was mowing the back lawn. (Preface: she is a hippy from Northern California & I basically grew up around naked people all the time.) She was topless & just wearing swimsuit bottoms and the neighbor, Mary, let herself into my moms (fenced) backyard and said "is that a new mower? It's just so quiet I had to come see what you were doing!" No comment about my mom's bare boobs, just mower chat.

The last good example is when my mom and I were renovating her basement. We were moving furniture/carpet in and out & painting, so we had the door to the garage off its hinges. The garage was open, but my mom's house is pretty tucked in up her driveway. As we're listening to music & painting, Mary just barges in to my mom's house without any warning or knocking, starts talking to us about her husband's erectile dysfunction and how her daughter's boyfriend just dumped her (and she thought it was probably because her acne hadn't settled down). POOR husband/daughter! Also, all of this while she's standing directly in front of the lamp that's lighting our paint job lmfao.

Fast forward to 3 years ago, Mary passed away and the neighborhood's been a lot quieter since.

I was picking apples in my mom's backyard on Saturday and for a second I thought I heard the gate open and would see Mary popping her head in. RIP!

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