when should my mom come to help? — The Bump
3rd Trimester

when should my mom come to help?

My husband and I live far from our immediate family. My mom is planning to come from across the country to help when our baby is born. We haven't set a date for her to arrive yet and I'm trying to decide whether we should have her come a little before my due date so she can be here for the birth, have her get on the next flight whenever I go into labor so she could potentially still be here for the birth or immediately after, or have her come after we've been home with the baby for a few days. I'm on the fence about having her in the delivery room -- I think it might mean a lot to her, but I also think it might be more special for my husband and I as a couple if it was just the two of us. I'm thinking the same thing about having her here as soon as we bring baby home -- maybe it would be nice for my husband and I to have a few days to ourselves? 

Originally we had discussed having her come about a week before my due date, but if I go overdue she could be here 2-3 weeks before the baby is even born and honestly I think we'll get sick of her by then, so I'd rather have her show up closer to the birth or shortly thereafter. She'll be staying in our house -- we have an extra guest room.

My husband will be home with me for the first 3 weeks, so we could wait and have my mom come after 2-3 weeks, so then she could be here to help me out when my husband goes back to work.

Any advice?

Re: when should my mom come to help?

  • Honestly, I loved it being just my husband and I in the delivery room.  Sorry, but there is no way I would have wanted anyone else in there but him and the medical professionals *you cant predict what happens, but I tore 3rd degree 1 mm away from having to go to the OR for stitching, I pooped during pushing, and it was just way too personal to have an audience.*  
    I personally would wait until a few days before your DH goes back to work   the 1st days We wanted time to ourselves to adjust, get to know baby, etc.  That was our quiet bonding time.  We had a few visitors, but no one stayed for long periods, even parents.  They came said Hi, visited a while and left 
    I would have gone nuts if someone was staying that whole time.

    Each to their own, though.  Everyone has a different perspective. 
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