First time Mom's of divorced parents?

Re: First time Mom's of divorced parents?

• AdorkablePixie member

  August 2018

  Hi, it looks like we've not seen you post here before. You should read the "READ FIRST" thread and introduce yourself. One off posts like this are generally frowned upon, especially when they're not from regulars.

  As far as the divorced parents, I'm sorry. My parents divorced when I was 13. Once DH and I got pregnant, I never worried that I'd be taking care of our son by myself or thought I'd deal with things alone. Maybe talking to him about it would help. I'm not a doctor, so I can't be of much help on getting your head right I suppose.

  Me: 31

  DH: 29, SA - Great

  Married: June 12,2011

  TTC #1: 1/2014

  Diagnosis: Hypothalamic Amenorrhea

  Treatment: Clomid:  50mg, 100mg, 150mg - not successful and not monitored

                    Menopur 75ml (upped to 112.5ml), Ovidrel, & IUI  IUI #1 8/31/2015

  9/15/2015: BFP HCG - 400, 9/17/2015: HCG - 827, 9/21/2015 - HCG 3,327!

  Heartbeat 10/2/2015: 118bpm

  DS: 5/27/2016

  
  

  TTC# 2: 12/2017

  BFP: 4/20/2018

  EDD: 12/29/2018

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• kristah2 member

  August 2018

  I have to echo what @AdorkablePixie is saying. My parents have been divorced since before I can even remember and I never once felt like I was doing this alone. I would talk to him, or your doctor about your fears.
  Otherwise maybe it'll change when you see him with the baby. Pregnancy can feel very lonely even with a super supportive spouse. 

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• AGK2015 member

  August 2018

  Been there, girl; it was hard for me to conceptualize what fatherhood could, should, or would look like, since my dad want around. For what it's worth, I never did figure out the pregnancy thing (beyond, like, yeah, I'm the only one who's pregnant, so I am kind of in it alone for this part), and my husband, who is otherwise awesome, was not particularly interested in all the baby prep stuff. However, the anxiety faded pretty quickly once my daughter arrived and I was able to see him interact with her. As a dad to an actual person (not just the putative person in my uterus to whom he had only a tenuous connection), he has completely redefined fatherhood for me. 
  
  Tl;Dr: it's natural to grieve what you don't have and to fret that your child will miss out, too. Give yourself time and grace, and trust that resolution is coming, whether you can see it on the horizon or not. Your husband isn't your dad, and that will be obvious eventually, when if it isn't today.

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