Pregnant and Working

meggyme · August 2018

Since the OP of the other thread never came back to change the title, I figured I'd start a dedicated thread for discussing work related issues. When do you plan to tell your boss/company that you are pregnant? Do your co-workers know? Any modifications or precautions needed to continue doing your job?

heytherefriend · August 2018

I'd also love to hear how those conversations with your boss have gone either with this pregnancy already or previous ones. I'll need to have the conversation relatively soon, but I don't know what to say, except -- hi! I'm pregnant (awkward silence).

I'm a first time mom and relatively new to my company (will hit the one-year mark just days before my due date if all goes on schedule). Plus, my boss is a 60-something year old man who never had kids, and our president (my boss's boss) is a 45-ish year old single guy. Still, we're a 200 person company with an HR person, at least, and I know the company, if not my department, has dealt with a pregnancy before, at least.

mayoduck · August 2018

I have an ultrasound next week at 12 weeks and plan to tell my manager at our 1:1 the following week. I'm really lucky because, besides my boss being an awesome person in general, she has a 6 month old so I expect she will be very supportive and will be able to help me out a lot to go through the maternity leave hoops she quite recently had to go through.

meggyme · August 2018

@heytherefriend For a company that size, it might be beneficial (especially if your bosses haven't had anyone go on maternity leave recently) to talk to HR about what benefits you are entitled to, then come up with a loose plan of what you do and who can feasibly cover it while you're out, or what training will need to take place so there's no lapse in the work. Then you can bring that plan to your boss, let them know you are expecting, will be out for however long around March and what your plan is.

My situation last time was different because in addition to going out on maternity, I was also leaving the company because MH was being stationed on the other side of the country. I offered to help train a replacement but they never took me up on it. I *also* was passed over for the annual inflation raise that EVERYONE else in my department (if not all of Engineering) received. They said it was not because I was pregnant, but because I wouldn't be returning.

This time around (different company) I could be coming back for a couple months before we potentially move again, so I'm unsure if I'll try to come back or not. For now, my supervisor is starting to do the training and overhead budgets for the upcoming year, so I'm thinking of telling him this week or next, so he has time to factor that in. I'll probably also need to be put on a different contract eventually, so I'd like to tell sooner so that we can start determining where that is.

kapowfal · August 2018

I plan on telling work after the first trimester. By then, I hope to have a detailed outline of what I do so I can meet with my boss and his boss (VP of Accounting and CFO) to discuss who gets what task. Cross-training was a big goal for us this year so I'm/we're lucky in that regard. One co-worker knows, but that's it. No modifications needed as I sit all day, haha.

I do have lots of reservations this time because my former boss was a woman and was elated for me. My new boss has 3 daughters my age, so I'm hoping there will be understanding at least. Also we have no written employee policies so I'll have to get with HR to see what the STD/FMLA policy is at this moment in time.

3rdtime_charmed · August 2018

I have been sick and not myself at work, so I went ahead and told everyone. My boss is very supportive and my nurses have been great about making sure I stay safe and get extra rest on overnight shifts.
I haven’t formalized my plan yet but will soon. I am a contractor so I don’t have any actual leave.

southerngirlinwi · August 2018

I haven't told my boss yet, but when I told her for my previous pregnancy *TW which ended in a MC* she was very supportive. I'll probably tell her in a few weeks when things start to show. Luckily, I haven't had very bad MS, so it has been easy to keep it quiet.

MH's boss knows though. She guessed based on the fact that he's come to the doctor's appointments and has asked how I'm doing and such. Sounds like she will be as accommodating as she can be in a large corporate structure, so that's nice.

I am a state employee, so most of the leave policies are pretty straightforward. I just need to talk to HR to clear up the details.

novelblessings · August 2018

I already told everyone in my office because we have a lot of changes going on right now anyway. I work for myself now but share a group practice with others. I won’t get any specific paid leave like I did with DD, but I will be able to negotiate some time off with the practice owner. She is supportive and really my leave will only drastically affect my income and my caseload when I return.

brookepdavis · August 2018

I decided to tell my boss after my 12 week appointment yesterday. He was excited for me. I was in a different department when I was pregnant with DD so I wasn't sure how he would react, but it was all good. I told him at the end of our regular weekly meeting. I'm still not sure how to tell the rest of my team. I don't want to tell them for a couple more weeks, but it feels weird to tell them when I'm their manager (or manager's manager in most cases). I'm not super close with the majority of the team. Also, there are quite a few people on the team who I know are TTGP or were never able to have kids. I want to be sensitive to them, but I don't feel like telling them each one on one is an effective way since we're not that close.

maggiemadeit · August 2018

@heytherefriend I am in the same boat. I will reach my 1 year about a week before my due date.

I have a kind of unique situation in that I work for a European company, with only 8 employees in the US, and there are no written leave policies for us. I inquired with HR at the parent company and they will give some paid time based on tenure and up to 12 weeks unpaid. So that’s great, but it still makes me nervous not to have anything in writing to know that my job is safe.

I haven’t told anyone yet, but I plan to tell my supervisor at our one-on-one next week, (I’ll be 12 weeks then). It’s terribly awkward, because of course it is over the phone. She is also around my age and told me that she got voluntarily sterilized because she doesn’t want kids. But two of the senior people on my team only work 4 days a week and take a day for child care, so I believe the support will be there. Also, if I was in Europe I would get 6-12 months off, so I doubt they will be mad if I take a measly 3.

I guess I am less worried about the time off and mostly worried that I will be able to keep my job. It’s my first writing job away from bench research and I really love it and the people I work with are terrific. I would cry if they let me go.

meggyme · August 2018

@brookepdavis maybe just announce it at the end of a meeting in a very matter of fact way. "I'll be out on leave the months of March, April, May because I'm expecting. I'll appreciate your help as I make preparations for my absence."

bdesterhouse · August 2018

I haven’t fully decided how or when to tell my coworkers. My boss knows, and is super supportive. I have a lot of appointments so I wanted to make sure she knew why. I have two weeks till 12 weeks so I’m not sure if I will wait or tell them after today’s appointment.

shrub · August 2018

I'm a teacher so I haven't even seen my boss or coworkers and won't until the end of the month. I begged my Principal for a new, more demanding position so I'm nervous about telling him. He'll be supportive because he has to but I know he will begrudge finding my replacements while I'm gone.

I'll likely announce my pregnancy to my coworkers at one of our friday coffee mornings since thats when we share news.

With my last 2 pregnancies, I didn't tell my students until I was almost in 3rd tri. Which is crazy since last time especially I was super showing.

Sweetest116 · August 2018

They moved up my due date, so I'm moving up the date I am telling my boss - I think I'm going to tell her next week. The only coworkers that know is the girl I travel with (for safety reasons I told her) and one of my direct reports so she could plan Spring travel dates accordingly. I've worked all the way up to my water breaking with both kids, so I don't plan on doing it any different with this baby!

diaphena · August 2018

I told my boss a couple weeks ago, which was pretty early at 6 weeks. I felt I needed to go ahead and tell her because of all the appointments, and because I knew it would affect my work. I'm a counselor and I work in the walk-in clinic in a mental health and substance use outpatient facility, and our work takes a lot emotionally. Since I'm PGAL there are certain types of clients I can't tolerate seeing, and of course I have to be able to tell my boss that. She just had a baby herself and has been super supportive of me, which I'm incredibly grateful for. I won't tell the rest of my coworkers until around 12-14 weeks, and I plan to just tell them in one of our weekly team meetings... Then let word spread to the other departments on its own! Haha.

I'm planning to leave this company after baby is born. If I weren't pregnant now I'd honestly be looking for another job already, but oh well. I'm trying to figure out how exactly to leave, as far as what makes sense financially and is fair to my team. I want to use the benefits I have, but not if it's going to just delay getting me replaced and leave my coworkers dealing with being short staffed. I may end up just sacrificing any FMLA time I would get, and take a payout from the sick and vacation time I have saved up. Baby and I can get on DH's insurance if we need to so at least that would be covered!

cdiddy81 · August 2018

I return to work from summer vacation next week and plan to tell my coworkers then (very small office). I'll wait to tell my boss until after 14 weeks or so when I have the genetic testing. He doesn't work in our office. We have one out on maternity leave starting any day now and one on an indefinite medical leave so I think he's going to be pretty surprised and maybe a little nervous about coverage, but supportive. I'm AMA which means extra appointments so as soon as I feel it's "safe" to tell him I will.

ckeate · August 2018

I told my boss already because I have had really bad morning sickness and have been off work a couple of times. I haven’t told my coworkers yet but some may have figured it out with me being sick at work. I will tell them sometime in September after I come back from vacation.

treetop19 · August 2018

I plan on sending out an email announcement to my coworkers/boss once I hit the 2nd trimester. I will include my coworkers because we all work from home, and they wouldn't find out otherwise. I work for the same company I worked for when my DS was born, and at that time, I was still in the office. To announce for DS, I had a one on one meeting and told my manager once I hit the 2nd tri, and she was very supportive. My coworkers then just found out as they saw the baby bump. lol. I have a sit down job so I've never needed any modifications, just extra time out during the day for appointments and such. My work offers short term disability so I'll at least get 4 weeks paid on top of any vacation/sick leave I can save up, which is nice.

BuckeyeNut05 · August 2018

My situation is probably unique, but I told my boss right after I told my husband! I am super lucky to have an amazing female boss, who has 5 kids herself. TW - also, I was traveling with her while I had my miscarriage and had to leave a workshop that people had traveled in from all over the country to attend and go to the hospital. End TW. So, she knows my story and "gets it".

She knew we were stil TTC as I had to discuss travel to places with Zika risks, too.

With my first pregnancy I threw up at work all day every day for 10 weeks straight, so I would rather have her know up-front so if I am not myself due to morning sickness, it's understood.

I work in an office, so no modifications other than the occasional WFH if I am extr sick and don't want to dry heave in the bathroom at work.

kateemgeethesequel · August 2018

This is my third baby while working for the same company. With my first I worked remotely in sales, with my second I was in the office everyday doing my current job, and now I work remotely full time. I’m an editor, so no modifications or anything like that. I have weekly status meetings with my boss on the phone so sometime after 12 weeks I’ll tell her during one of those. If I was in the office I’d have to be telling sooner because I don’t think there’s going to be any hiding this one. A grandma at pre-k pick up kept side-eyeing my belly and smiling at me today. I’m 8 weeks lol

HoneyBear40 · August 2018

I think I can hold out until my 12 week u/s...I think. At least that's what I'd like to do. I put my name in a drawing for a women's golf outing where they are selecting 2 names to go with 2 ladies on our leadership team so I'm thinking if I'm drawn I might have to tell a few of them a couple days early to explain why I'm not drinking on the course lol. At this point no one knows, at least I don't think I've done anything to make them suspect anything.
Desk job primarily so no modifications needed. With DD I worked up until the Friday they scheduled me for induction the following Monday,

southerngirlinwi · August 2018

My supervisor guessed it this morning. She saw that I had "medical appointments" on the vacation calendar and asked me if there is something on the horizon in the late winter. Luckily, she is extremely supportive!.

meggyme · August 2018

I have a work dinner on Thursday. I've decided to wait until mid-September because I should have the results from my NIPT and DH will have returned from a conference he'll be networking at, so I'm hoping to have a better idea of what his next set of orders will be. I'd love to have one tough conversation about baby/moving instead of having to do it twice. On Thursday I might end up getting a glass of wine or something and fake drinking it. Or go to the bar myself and get a soda water and lime.

lalalauren15 · August 2018

I told my boss and my HR rep this morning. I am pretty close with both women, so it was almost like telling friends. My boss actually got a little teary eyed and excited, which she is not typically an emotional person, so I was touched. I am pretty lucky to work in such a caring place.

I was, however, worried about the reaction, because the previous industry I worked in was very old fashioned and male-dominated and there wasn't a lot of compassion about taking any time off from work. This is a nice change. I did reassure my boss I would be coming back to work after the pregnancy, but she was very insistent that I take the time needed to spend with baby. It was a very nice conversation.

I will probably tell the co-workers close to me next week at 12 weeks. I am tired of making up excuses for skipping drinks after work. Haha.

Shelbyville30 · August 2018

I’ve been with my current company since 12/11 of last year, so pretty new there. I was very upfront with my boss and OM that we were trying for another. I have had too many doctors appointments to hide it so everyone knows.

I got pregnant with Jack all of a month after I had started with the last company I was with. They were awesome about it, paid me during my entire leave @ 100%. I couldn’t have asked for more.

No precautions needed yet. It will probably get tough to measure spaces for renovation as I get bigger but I’m thinking not until the third trimester.

lucysmom2016 · August 2018

Totally wasn't intending to tell anybody at work until after first tri (with the exception of close friends who are also coworkers). However, there are certain hazards in my workplace (I'm an ICU nurse) that can make that challenging, but I've been able to avoid them without raising suspicion so far.

But then today, the charge nurse asked if I could go help in a room that has been deemed unsafe for pregnant staff, and I had to tell her no. She didn't make a big deal about it, but now she and a few other staff who were nearby when she asked me now know. I can't guarantee that this will stay under the radar (nurses are notorious gossips).

This all wouldn't be a big deal, but one of my best friends is also a coworker, and the only reason she doesn't know is because I haven't been able to catch up with her outside of work since we started telling people. Luckily, she works tonight, so I'm just going to catch her after shift change to tell her so that she doesn't hear it from someone else.

litzi-2 · August 2018

I'm going to share when asked for time off requests starting next year. If that doesn't happen for a long time (schedules have been all over the place this past year), I'll probably share around 16 weeks when I'll have to start increased screening/ monitoring and whatnot, earlier if its obvious. I'm also lucky to have a very supportive environment.

hlmtnmama · August 2018

I plan to tell at 12 weeks and absolutely no earlier, mostly because *TW* I lost my first at 8 weeks and it was really hard to navigate all of that at work.
I hadn’t told anyone at work about that first pregnancy, but a few folks figured it out since I wasn’t drinking at our holiday party (guess wasn’t as sneaky as a I thought). Shortly after that party, one of my co-workers went WAY overboard telling everyone I hadn’t been drinking at the party and that I must be pregnant, and was texting me things like ‘congrats! I totally know you’re pregnant! When are you going to share the good news?!” Etc etc. I shut him down right away, but the damage was done. I was only 6 weeks at that time and had a MC at 8 wks, and the whole thing was just awkward and awful at work for a while.
After all of that, I feel pretty guarded about the fact that my pregnancy is my own business and no one else’s until I decide how to share it on my own terms.

3rdtime_charmed · August 2018

@hmrozek I’m really sorry that happened to you. Your coworker sounds like a jerk, I probably would’ve been tempted to tell him off.

ashley14598 · August 2018

@hmrozek I’m sorry that that happened! I can’t imagine how that made you feel.

I’m very nervous about telling my co-workers. Last year was my first year at the school and it took until December for me to “prove myself”. Now I’m not sure how it’s going to go over that I’m pregnant and due in March and probably will be off the rest of the school year... (at least I hope I don’t have to go back in May)! I’m already 11 weeks so I know I can’t hide it much longer.

gowenc · August 2018

I plan to tell work after the NT scan in a couple weeks. With my last baby, my boss was super supportive. Then he got (unwillingly) transferred literally a week before I delivered, so I came back from maternity leave to a new boss who had totally different expectations for how I was supposed to do my job. The only saving grace about that situation was that his wife had a baby three months after I did, and she worked for the same company, and had my same job, just in a different division. Without a baby it was a really demanding and stressful job, with a baby and a new boss it was damn near impossible. He eased up a bit after his wife came back to work and he saw how difficult it was for her. Shortly thereafter I requested a transfer and got into a more manageable role (with the same boss). It's taken time but we have a pretty good working relationship now. I just found out yesterday he's taking a post overseas, so I'll be getting a new boss sometime in the next couple of months. I hope they fill his position quickly so I have time to form a relationship with whoever replaces him.And I really hope it's someone good - I have a good amount of anxiety about it all given how things went last time around.

chocolatelemons · August 2018

I’ve posted in other threads about this already, but I’ve decided I will likely wait until the end of September/beginning of October. I’ll be between 17-19 weeks. I was hired as a teacher in a new district in April and I haven’t seven started working yet. I had my orientation this week and I was able to meet my principal and some of my coworkers. Im lucky that I also have a union. Regardless, it’s going to be an awkward conversation but it is what it is.

I was at my previous job during my first pregnancy and my boss, who is very outspoken and unprofessional, actually said to me “I heard you’re pregnant” when I was only 9 weeks. To this day, I still don’t know how she knew since I hadn’t told anyone at work. She was supportive of the pregnancy, but I was upset that she found out the way that she did.

dtspmama · August 2018

I told work today. It wasn't my plan, but I'm applying for a new job/promotion and don't want the committee to be blindsided or feel like I'm hiding anything. I feel like a massive weight has been lifted!

gowenc · August 2018

It's getting hard to keep it to myself. I've told one coworker who I absolutely trust not to say anything, mainly because I was looking for advice on traveling (she traveled while she was pregnant with both of her kids). But I've had some rough days symptom-wise over the past couple of weeks and the shit just keeps piling on at work. I want to tell people so they'll back off a bit!

meggyme · August 2018

So I told my supervisor that I'm pregnant and it went well. He encouraged me to let him know as soon as I felt physically unable or unsafe going on the ships (which is a large part of my job) and said that there was plenty of work in the office for me when that happened. I'm glad it's done with. I'll probably tell my supervisor at my office (I'm a contractor, so my company supe and the supe I report to at the office are different) after I get the results back from the NIPT in a week or two.

thedaint87 · August 2018

I told my principal today and he was very supportive, just like last time. The worst part is going to be finding a long-term sub. It's hard to find someone who is qualified and wants to do the job of a teacher for even less pay.

maggiemadeit · August 2018

I told my boss this week too. I work remotely and was invited to come into the overseas office in a few weeks, (I’ll be about 15 weeks by then), and I didn’t want to just show up with my bump out without having said anything.

My boss was very nice and matter-of-fact about it, and told me that there are several other people in the office currently expecting. I haven’t been at the job long and we don’t know each other that well, but she seemed genuinely excited for me and not at all worried about figuring out the details.

It felt good to get it out there. Next step is to talk to HR to figure out how maternity leave will work for me here in the US.

ashley14598 · August 2018

Well I’ve officially told my 2 closest co-workers, my principal, my other boss, and now I have to decide how to tell the rest of my co-workers. I’m only friends with a handful of them on social media and it’s a “small enough” community that once the word starts to get out it will get out quick. I’m torn because I feel like it is information that should come from me personally especially to the teachers I work with regularly (I’m an intervention specialist) however the other part of me is just so excited to announce to my other friends and family and do it via social media. Any thoughts on this? I’m sure I’m definitely over thinking it! Not to mention that I’m up at 2:45 am and this is what I’m thinking about! Ugh!

PS I have tried the raisin trick already once tonight and although it did help, I still just laid in bed awake.

thedaint87 · August 2018

@ashley14598 We have time at our staff meetings for announcements/celebrations and that is when most people announce. I just missed being able to tell everyone at our first staff meeting of the year. We have our first tri screening on Monday and I'll feel ready to announce after that. I need to check when our next staff meeting is and see if I can wait until then or do something else.

One teacher put a sign on her door with a pic of the ultrasound and a cute saying. That might work if you are in a well-traveled area?

babya422 · August 2018

@ashley14598 I plan to tell my principal first and the teachers I work closest with at CLT. And the teachers I’m friends with I’ll tell in person too. But I’ll let everyone else find out through gossip. We also have a space for big announcements and it’ll get posted there, but I’m not planning to personally announce to the whole school.

chocolatelemons · August 2018

@jesiannv I did this too with my first

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