I wish I had known that!

sweetyjenj · August 2018

@jgil85 I suppose that brings me to...(not quite a "I wish I knew.." but "I'm glad I knew"

I'm glad I learned from others beforehand that It's OK to put baby in a safe place (crib, pack n play, etc) and walk away for a few minutes, even if they're screaming and crying, if you really need a breather. There will be times where baby will be crying and you try everything and they just don't stop and you get so frustrated. Instead of freaking out on the baby and screaming back (it makes it worse) instead, just take a break for a few minutes, then come back.

kns1988 · August 2018

@jgil85 oh wow, that's so horrible. I can't imagine what that family is going through. The PSA is a good reminder.

julesf817 · August 2018

Ooh I just thought of something.

I wish someone had told me i should/could shower as soon as I felt up to it after delivery. I had a third degree tear (10lb 5oz baby) and had a catheter in for...i think close to a full day after I delivered, because standing up was just too painful.

I’ve never been hospitalized or had a surgery before. I had NO idea it was ok for me to shower or get things wet or whatever. I remember late on the day after I delivered a nurse said warm water would help healing. I said “oh so I should shower?” She looked absolutely disgusted and said “you haven’t showered since you delivered?!” I was so embarrassed. I’m still bothered by her reaction four years later remembering it. But now I know I guess?

sweetyjenj · August 2018

@julesf817 I don't think I did, either. I delivered at 730pm and I think it was around 3-5pm the next day, when the nurses brought me a bag of lavender salts. I don't recall why I waited, other than I couldn't right away because they had me on Pitocin for a few hours after (uterus wouldn't keep contracting on its own to stop the bleeding, so Pitocin was continued in order to get my uterus to contract and stop bleeding). Then I was so tired and wanted to sleep...or at least tried to sleep between feedings...then starting early we had lots of visitors up until like 3pm, then I bathed.

kns1988 · August 2018

@julesf817 screw her for being rude to you! I have no idea when I first showered, but I know it felt amazing. I think it was the morning because I delivered at 11 PM, and my hair was wet in the pictures when my family visited at about 9 AM. So I hung out all night with my spunky self and cuddling my new baby.

nononorman · August 2018

Possibly a FFFC on Monday but I didn’t shower in the hospital. I had some blood loss issues so they didn’t want me getting up much after they realized that and I wanted out of there as soon as I could move. (left about 36 hours after delivery). I didn’t feel too gross - maybe because I was induced so I showered just before going in- but I did shower first thing at home. Whatever your body feels up for, do it.

bradleysmommy28 · August 2018

The birth of my son made me realize how amazing showers really are! I was admitted to the hospital in the afternoon of Dec 11th and I had showered before work that morning. I was not allowed out of bed from that day until the day my son was born on Dec 20th and my "shower" was sponge baths I BEGGED for a shower and the minute they let me move (I had a spinal w/ an emergency c-sec so it was a few hours) I ran to the bathroom to shower. I knew they wouldn't let me go to the NICU to see my son for a bit so the shower was the next thing on my mind!

kmos816 · August 2018

I also didn’t shower at the hospital, I took a shower before going to the hospital and didn’t really feel a need to shower there, I took a shower once I got home

hollye30 · August 2018

I didn't shower at the hospital either. One look at the shower and it was a hard nope. I could wait for my nice bright clean shower at home and it was amazing. Also, I wasn't really ready for a shower until I was home, it took a while to get the full feeling back in my legs after the epidural wore off.

BitterBetty12 · August 2018

I did shower at the hospital, but I think it was 3 days after I gave birth before I showered. When I finally did, the nurse was like 'If I were your nurse you would have showered two days ago'. I wasn't a fan of that comment because the reason I didn't shower was a debilitating headache that we couldn't figure out that ended up being a spinal headache. BUT when I did finally shower, it felt SO GOOD.

tosh24 · August 2018

@BitterBetty12 Seriously? What a beyotch! I would have answered "if you were my nurse I would have asked for a different one". Like, what was the point of making that comment, two days later? Could she not read your chart and see what the issue was? I have no patience for smug healthcare providers.

emmaaa · August 2018

I showered the day after DD was born in the hospital and it was heaven! I did ask DH to sit in the bathroom with me because I still was concerned with my balance though. I also had to ask the nurse if I was allowed to shower because I literally had no clue if it was a thing and no one had told me I could/should. But if you don't feel comfortable doing it yet, then don't (obviously lol)

Also, I know we will eventually have a thread to discuss what to pack in your hospital bag, but a lot of people recommend to bring your own towels. Hospital towels are small and not soft. I decided not to because I didn't want to take up room in my bag with towels. I can handle small and rough towels for one shower. Plus, with the bleeding, I didn't want it on my towels lol

BitterBetty12 · August 2018

Ahhh yes the hospital bag thread. I love that one. I basically moved into the hospital (I had an induction so we knew we could be there a while before the baby was born) and had no regrets about how much I brought because we ended up staying a week. I packed a bag for me, DD, and DH. I also brought two pillows from home and two blankets from home that I didn’t mind ruining. It was the best decision I ever made. It helped me feel at home.

kns1988 · August 2018

I tried to be so prepared with my hospital bag, and it was practically worthless. I had no clothes for DS because he was in preemie and I only packed newborn and 0-3 month (no one expects a preemie), so I had to use the hospital's baby clothes. We ended up there for a week, so DH had to run home and replenish my clothes a few times because I had only planned on 2 days. No phone charger, no snacks... I was a mess. I had to go buy a wardrobe for DS the day we finally got home from the hospital. I was desperately grabbing everything preemie at Walmart, so he ended up with a "big brother" onesie (he was not a big brother) and some ridiculous camo

nononorman · August 2018

I had so much crap in my hospital bag that I didn’t end up using... what’s the point of snacks if you’re not allowed to eat!!!! But the extra long cord phone charger and pillow/blanket from home were key.

BitterBetty12 · August 2018

@Potterphile allll the snacks for after delivery! I dug into our snack bag during middle of the night feedings when there was no other food accessible except for juice and graham crackers.

nononorman · August 2018

@BitterBetty12 I will have to give the snacks a second chance this time. I wasn’t in the hospital long after DD was born and I mostly just had my husband feed me food from the outside. My milk also hadn’t come in yet so possibly wasn’t as ravenous as I could have been?

BitterBetty12 · August 2018

@Potterphile in fairness I was in the hospital 7 days so a lot probably got used in the later days. I do remember not being super hungry the first couple.

sweetyjenj · August 2018

I packed SO MUCH that I thought I would want/need during labor, but ended up using none. I didn't need the stress ball, or my bluetooth speaker, or games as distraction. I didn't eat my protein snacks (hospital had lots of snacks on hand, or even the ability to have canned soup or PB&J during MOTN) or wear even my own clothes until discharge time. I forgot to pack my makeup last minute, so i missed that, though. I am SO GLAD I brought my own robe, though, to wear in the hospital after delivery. I wore that over my hospital gown the whole time and it made nursing very easy.

jandd2014 · August 2018

@emmaaa ‘s comment reminder me- about six hours after DD was born, the nurse came in and asked me if I had gone pee yet and if I needed to. I’m pretty sure I looked at her and said “I don’t know how.” Lol. So she helped me to the bathroom and stayed just outside the door in case I needed her help. I didn’t but had to ask her how to use the spray bottle (which felt lovely by the way- just don’t make it too hot!)

nononorman · August 2018

I did actually use the Bluetooth speaker- had a push playlist all queued up and played that during the pushing. I think it helped me psychologically to have background noise that kinda normalized it all. But I’m also the person who used to study w the tv on and that sort of thing so a little light distraction was up my alley.

BitterBetty12 · August 2018

I used the speaker too. We listened to music and also used the iPad to watch Netflix and the speaker so we could both hear it.

I did not really wear my own clothes in the hospital much BUT I would say pack them anyway. I’ve heard 50/50 split opinions on this one. People tend to either say ‘I wore the hospital gown the whole time’ or ‘when I changed into my own clothes I felt so much better’. So it’s defintiely worth having enough.

jgil85 · August 2018

Oh yes dh made a whole birth playlist for me on our iPad and brought our bluetooth speaker. It was perfect and I'm so glad he brought it because just as I was going to start pushing, the tv was on and I told my dh that there was no way in hell I was going to push while watching stupid Donald Trumps face on tv. All my nurses loved my music too and commented on the song selections.

mrsmang · August 2018

@Potterphile @BitterBetty12 @jgil85 I think we might need a thread to share playlists! I feel like music will help me a lot and I want to make a great playlist!

KLS123 · August 2018

kns1988 said:

I tried to be so prepared with my hospital bag, and it was practically worthless. I had no clothes for DS because he was in preemie and I only packed newborn and 0-3 month (no one expects a preemie), so I had to use the hospital's baby clothes. We ended up there for a week, so DH had to run home and replenish my clothes a few times because I had only planned on 2 days. No phone charger, no snacks... I was a mess. I had to go buy a wardrobe for DS the day we finally got home from the hospital. I was desperately grabbing everything preemie at Walmart, so he ended up with a "big brother" onesie (he was not a big brother) and some ridiculous camo

wait, am I missing something? How can a preemie age baby that would wear a preemie sized onesie possibly be a big brother unless it was a multiple that just happen to be born first? That seems like a super niche, super weird thing for walmart to produce/stock in stores? What are the odds of having multiples that are also preemies that also the first one born was a boy....

galactickates · August 2018

KLS123 said:

Snip

wait, am I missing something? How can a preemie age baby that would wear a preemie sized onesie possibly be a big brother unless it was a multiple that just happen to be born first? That seems like a super niche, super weird thing for walmart to produce/stock in stores? What are the odds of having multiples that are also preemies that also the first one born was a boy....

I was wondering the exact same thing lol

kns1988 · August 2018

@KLS123 I thought the same thing! I didn't even see what it said until he was wearing it one day.

ETA: shameless AW of my itty bitty guy snoozing in a box lid

Image: https://us.v-cdn.net/5020794/uploads/editor/7u/pa7lbbvxc07a.jpg

hlb8179 · August 2018

Speaking of music, does anyone know if you’re allowed to play or listen to music during a c section? That may be crazy in an operating room but it’s worth asking. I threw up during the entire thing with my first so I am looking for any and all distraction, relaxation technique, etc. Granted, I had been induced and on magnesium for three days with little to no food so that contributed. But still looking for help.

libertymomrn · August 2018

Potterphile said:

I had so much crap in my hospital bag that I didn’t end up using... what’s the point of snacks if you’re not allowed to eat!!!! But the extra long cord phone charger and pillow/blanket from home were key.

When I went to the hospital to support my SIL, I brought a copy of the American College of Nurse Midwives official statement regarding women being allowed to eat as desired during labor, and how it is actually beneficial. We then informed them that we understood that it was their policy to not allow eating during labor, but that we were opting to do so anyway, and that they could just document that we were declining to follow that policy and why.

nononorman · August 2018

@libertymomrn interesting- I will try that this time. Def was ravenous but also didn’t poop while pushing Bc I didn’t have any poop in me... tradeoffs. Hoping the whole process goes much quicker this time and that it isn’t 2am when I’m finally “allowed” to eat again.

emmaaa · August 2018

I BEGGED my nurse to let me eat something, I was so hungry. She snuck me some crackers and jello and Popsicles and that tided me over. As soon as they told us we were moving to our room, we had pizza delivered to the hospital.

pttomato · August 2018

I didn't really want to eat. I had breakfast before they started the pitocin and then DD was born around 5 pm. Once I was in transition I was really nauseous. I did end up on a glucose drip though because I couldn't keep my blood sugar up even with breakfast and juice, so I don't know if that affected my hunger level.

kmvisioli · August 2018

With DS1 I couldn't keep anything down the whole time I labored! Turned out he was "sunny side up" and the majority of my labor was basically the transition phase. DH packed a couple of those gel packs for marathon runners, and that pretty much saved me. Plus it's technically liquid not "food" so nobody batted an eye.

skilouise · August 2018

@kmvisioli I hadn't thought of the gel packs, but that seems like a great idea!

UnbreakableKimmySchmidt · August 2018

I joked that while giving birth to DD I didn't miss a meal. I was able to eat breakfast before they started the pitocin, I had lunch right before the epidural and gave birth to her right before dinner and then ordered dinner afterwards. It worked out well! My nurse just suggested "light" things to eat, like chicken noodle soup for lunch and eggs/toast for breakfast.

nononorman · August 2018

I ate dinner (soup) on the 26th, started induction at 9pm.. had DD at 11pm on the 27th, not allowed food until about 1:30-2am on the 28th. They gave me approx two freaking popsicles on the 27th, was not allowed to have the marathon gels, I asked. Boooooo

skilouise · August 2018

Has anyone had a hospital tell them no food/ drink/ marathon gels/ etc, and chosen to drink/ eat anyway? They can't turn you out on the street in the middle of active labor, so other than documenting that the mother is choosing to eat/drink AMA, what exactly can they do about it?

I'm not suggesting hiding it, because obviously they would need to know that information in case an emergency arose. I'm just irritated by the concept of things being dictated as "not allowed" when it's contrary to multiple studies and medical association guidelines.

skilouise · August 2018

I'm doing some more research on eating/ drinking during labor, and found this article really helpful:

https://evidencebasedbirth.com/evidence-eating-drinking-labor/

bradleysmommy28 · August 2018

I can't get over how long some of you went without food! Because I had an emergency C-section, things were a bit different. I was in the hospital and would order breakfast about 6:30 to eat at 7. That morning I had my full breakfast and then went into labor about 10 mins after I finished. When they determined I needed an emergency C-section, they gave me something to drink (I don't remember what it was but it wasn't bad tasting) and said it would prevent me from getting sick from the spinal since I had eaten not long before. Then after I was out of recovery, they let me eat right away. I was still tired and out of it so I didn't eat until dinner but still, no meal skipping so I'm not sure what I would do if I were in your positions!!

sweetyjenj · August 2018

I was induced at 11:30pm and had lunch before going in. Nurse said I could have water and "light" snacks, like granola bar or crackers, but the idea is in case I needed to be rushed in for c-section, they don't want you having a big meal..can't recall exactly why. I wasn't really hungry anyway. I ended up pushing way earlier than expected (6:30pm) and only pushed for 30 minutes. Almost immediately after delivery I was STARVING for dinner.

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