UO Thursday (8/2)

highsteaks · August 2018

theme: opinions that make you sound like a sourpuss, curmudgeon, old fart, or killjoy.

highsteaks · August 2018

i hate the frequency of which i am asked to make a monetary donation after a purchase at the store—especially if there’s some sort of added pressure to do so (i’m looking at you, homegoods, with your stinking bell ringing). i have all sorts of cynical beliefs about in-store donations, but i’ll hold back that rant.

yes, i do make charitable donations otherwise, to groups that i have vetted and feel are otherwise underserved.

MouseMama817 · August 2018

I kiiiiiind of roll my eyes at people who have young kids but still act like they're in college when it comes to going out to clubs or constantly throwing parties. We used to be friends with a couple who have 3 young children and leave them all with grandparents nearly every weekend to go out partying. Live your life I guess, but I feel like it's inappropriate to throw parties where everyone is drunk/drinking/super loud music and your babies are wandering around like it's all normal.
I've never liked going to parties, even when I was in high school or college. I can literally count on one hand the number of parties I've been to in my 28 years. I don't have any interest in mingling with a room mostly full of strangers. I don't enjoy loud music anymore and ever since having kids I don't drink (partly as principle and partly because even small amounts of alcohol make me feel sick now).
I would so much rather be at home in my comfy clothes watching a show in bed with DH or making dinner for my family.

firsttimespartanmom · August 2018

@MouseMama817 I couldn’t agree more with you. I love a good glass of wine or two, but I think maybe being pregnant has made me more sensitive to how idiotic people are when they drink. Do you really need to be going out and getting wasted every weekend when you’re 30+? Plus drunk people are incredibly annoying.

Definitely not at all bitter that I haven’t had a lovely glass of wine in 6 months

bkosy · August 2018

@highsteaks I work at a grocery store and I hate making my cashiers ask/me asking. I hate being asked when I shop also, so asking is like torture for me.

highsteaks · August 2018

@bkosy i am so sorry you have to do that as part of your job. in no way do i blame or hold it against the cashiers, but i expect that some customers probably do and that must suck extra for the workers. another reason for stores to stop the madness.

offtoneverland · August 2018

@MouseMama817 There's definitely a time and place for going out to get drunk with your friends, but doing it every weekend and dropping off your kids at grandma's house sounds crazy to me. I can't even imagine living that kind of a life! I would also much rather be at home watching TV in my jammies than going out to a party.

My curmudgeonly UO: I haaaaate seeing kids on tablets and phones while they're at restaurants and stores. It drives me nuts. I realize that some really difficult kids might need it and sometimes a parent's gotta do what they gotta do to get through the day, but does your kid really need to watch kids music videos the whole time you're at the grocery store?

ETA: I'm totally all for TV though...DD watches probably too much at home, but...*shrug*--my UO is only about screen time while out of the house.

lifesabeach85 · August 2018

@highsteaks totally agree! I feel like a jerk for not giving a dollar to whatever but I’m like let me do my own donating, I don’t know you
@MouseMama817 I agree on the hard partying, and definitely on staying out late. I can’t imagine my parents agreeing to that! But I do drink alcohol - as a friend of mine described it, we now like to go out, get a little “dinner drunk” ya know two glasses of rose, and come home and go to bed by 10!
@offtoneverland I’ll up you people in general spending too much time on smartphones in public. I was at a dinner the other night and walked past a family of five every single one of whom was on their phone. Felt like being an old fart going over there and saying “when I was a kid we had to actually talk to each other at restaurants there was no other option!”

bkosy · August 2018

@highsteaks agreed! The only one I actually really liked is when Hurricane Harvey hit we took donations to send down.
@offtoneverland I see that way too much now a days! I leave my phone in my purse at restaurants. Unless my kids are super super super antsy and I have exhausted all other options. Usually I make them play ABC Mouse too

BabyBoyH92016 · August 2018

Kids on tablets/phones in restaurants is something we’ve held off on for now (but my kiddo is only 2). I’m not going to lie it’s been awfully tempting especially when the service is taking long and my son is getting antsy. I just know once we start, it will be a bad habit to break, and my son will come to expect it. No judgment though on people who use it. I just feel like it has potential to turn into a problem. At this point I’d just rather minimize going out to eat with my toddler, and stick to kid friendly places and places with fast service.

lurvleybunchococonuts · August 2018

Yes to all of these so far!

If I want to donate let me do it without being harassed.

Having a few drinks with dinner or friends? Cool. Going out and partying like you're 21? *eyeroll* no thank you!

Kids on tablets at the flipping grocery store drive me insane! If M is bored while we're waiting I play eye spy with her. MIL just shoves a phone in her face to play a game. Drives me crazy because when given the choice she of course takes the phone

lachnessmomster · August 2018

@offtoneverland I used to think the same exact thing about phones and tablets, but when I just want to go buy some groceries or eat dinner without picking up a screaming toddler from off the floor, I will do whatever it takes. If people side-eye, I'm like, you wanna listen to him scream, or do you want him to play with an app for 15-20 minutes? Your call, shoppers. This mom rarely gets any peace, so if it's sink or swim, I couldn't care less if he watches Puppy Dog Pals for a bit while I get things done.

Also, I fucking hate it when people stare when DS has meltdowns in public. Like, I'm already embarrassed enough. Mind your damn business.

offtoneverland · August 2018

@lachnessmomster I totally get it. But I think some people do it respectfully while others don't. I think it's pretty rude when the volume is on full blast so the whole restaurant can hear it. Also, I've seen lots of kids just wandering and circling around the table while watching their tablet and it's pretty distracting while I'm trying to eat!

On that note, I hate when anyone plays music or videos loudly from their device while in public. Use headphones for goodness sake!

highsteaks · August 2018

@offtoneverland yes!! or facetimes with someone loudly and they’re not even showing them something or looking at them. why???

eta- @lachnessmomster or makes “funny” comments to us in the middle of dealing with a fit... just move along, you’re making it worse!

BabyBoyH92016 · August 2018

Yes @highsteaks I really don’t understand Facetimimg in public. Why? Why do people do that. It’s so annoying and strange.

tessiesmom26 · August 2018

I agree to all of these so far. To add to the no phones/tablets at the table, DH doesn't allow anyone on the phone at the table. We never have our phones out and he has said things to other people while out to eat, like friends and even my parents. The whole point of going out to eat with people is to socialize, and you can't do that if you are more involved in your phone!

runningyogimama · August 2018

I really, really, really don’t understand the appeal in going out on a Thursday night as an adult. As a a stupid college kid? Okay, part of it all. As an adult with a job you have to be at Friday morning? Why? What’s the appeal in that?

MouseMama817 · August 2018

I always said I would never ever let my kids have phones out in public. I was sooo judgemental about it. Then I had DD and changed my tune lol. It’s definitely always a last resort, but if toys or nontechnological distractions aren’t working, I have a cart full of groceries, and DD is having a meltdown— Elmo to the rescue! I really dgaf. I don’t buy the anecdotes you hear from older generations that kids were well-behaved in stores/restaurants pre digital babysitters. Kids are kids. They have never liked sitting quietly through the things parents have to get done like grocery shopping or waiting in line at the bank or whatever else. Huge kudos to the parents who can power through those tasks with a squirmy squealing toddler, but I have enough battles throughout my day!

wildrainbow · August 2018

@MouseMama817 100% agree. Ds only gets the tablet when we are out to eat, because typically he finishes first and is ready to go, meanwhile H and I have maybe managed a bit. Enter Trolls to the rescue! He is entertained, H and I can enjoy some adult time without being pestered every 15 seconds to go. He does well in the grocery store or wherever else because he is a people watcher. I think the bustle of a resteraunt is a little overwhelming for him, so he needs the tablet to narrow his focus.

My UO: I don't understand those moms that dress themselves and their kids to the nines to run maybe one or two errands. I'm talking full makeup, a real bra, real pants/dress/skirt, and nice shoes. Like how do you have time for that? I just don't get it. I'm lucky if I can have time to put moisturizer on, much less makeup or a real bra. Sports bras are my jam, I'm pretty sure I rock the mom uniboob like a champ!

emjohn517 · August 2018

@wildrainbow YAS! I see moms in full hair and makeup, heels, just for story time at the library. Hey, you do you, but I guarantee my ass is much more comfortable.

BabyBoyH92016 · August 2018

@MouseMama817 And if older generations had something like a phone at their fingertips, I bet they’d use it in a pinch. I know better to never say never, and my kiddo is only two. I can’t say with certainty that there won’t be a time in the future where I allow phones/tablets in public.

Maybe kids were a little more “well behaved” generations ago, but I also think recent generations have moved away from authoritarian parenting and spanking. I know I used to FEAR my father. We didn’t get spanked a lot, but i knew he would do it if it came down to it. He was a very do as I say, and don’t ask any questions kind of man. I’m not sure if getting kids behave or to do anything based out of fear is considered a parenting victory. I’m not perfect by any means. I’ve had low moments where I’ve yelled way too much and just don’t have patience for my toddler. I try to move on from bad days and wake up the next morning and try my best to be peaceful, empathetic, and patient towards my kiddo.

emjohn517 · August 2018

My UOs- I hate fireworks. No, im not driving to park a mile away, fight with a crowd and tons of traffic for that. I don’t get the appeal of loud colory things. Residential fireworks used to be illegal here, now they are legal and people are taking full advantage of lighting them all summer long. Nah.

Also, hot rods. I just don’t get this. My neighbors just sit in their driveways revving their engines back and forth to each other. Stoppppp. Could you, not?

pelorunningmama · August 2018

@emjohn517 and @wildrainbow just to defend the moms that "dress to the nines," I'm frequently one of them because I work part-time for a company that has a business dress code. My typical outfit is some kind of dress and heels. I leave the office at 2 or 3 most days and pick up my kids. We then head out and do whatever it is we need to do so we can stay out of the house (my husband works from home). I've been that person so many times at the grocery store, Barnes & Noble story time, etc. My weekend wardrobe and wardrobe as soon as I walk in the door from work is gym clothes, but sometimes the full makeup, hair, etc happens. I'm sure some people just really enjoy dressing up (or only feel comfortable with make up on). However, there are also people like me who would love to be in workout clothes, but would rather continue wearing work clothes instead of hauling all my kids and myself in a public bathroom somewhere so I can change.

lachnessmomster · August 2018

@highsteaks Omg. I will punch someone.

@wildrainbow Lolol. This might be me. I try really hard to put us both together, and I love having a full face of makeup on at pretty much all times. Granted, this stems from the fact that I've always had pretty awful skin and have only recently been given a break from terrible cystic acne. I still have some scarring that I'm self-conscious about, but generally, I just feel good if I look good. I'm not in heels and dresses every single day, but I at least try to look presentable, and prefer DS to look presentable as well!

BabyBoyH92016 · August 2018

NASCAR. I don’t get it at all. Anytime I see it on TV i find it incredibly boring and kinda a dumb concept.

lurvleybunchococonuts · August 2018

I guess I should clarify when I said "kids on tablets in grocery stores" I mean school aged children. Special needs or whatnot I 100% understand, but if your 8 year old can't go grocery shopping without sitting in the basket of a cart playing angry birds on full volume, ima side eye you.

smulrich16 · August 2018

I try to withhold judgement until I actually have kids....BUT I don't understand kids watching shows in vehicles to go ACROSS TOWN. I would love to limit screen time with my kids, but my frayed nerves may disagree...still, I hope that I can teach my kids to entertain themselves for the 10 minute, cross-town drive (our city isn't that big). And +1 to the kids being on phones/tablets at dinner.

"When I was young, we barely had TV, let alone TV in cars!!" lol

Image: https://us.v-cdn.net/5020794/uploads/editor/xy/qg520fwk1xrl.jpg

runningyogimama · August 2018

@smulrich16 The judgement for the TV in th car thing does have to wait until having kids. That’s one that I didn’t get before and see as NBD/no different then just listening to music between destinations now (and we don’t do tablets much at home, let alone out and about). It’s hard enough getting multiple little kids in and out of the car and running errands...I don’t care if they want to watch paw patrol and give me 10 mins of peace while driving to the grocery store.

pink_polkadots · August 2018

I don’t have a problem whatsoever with kids on phones tablets while grocery shopping or running errands. I HATE grocery shopping myself, so I can only imagine how boring it is for DD. I agree, obviously, people should be courteous with it by using headphones, which we do. I’d rather give her the iPad so she’s happy and content and then I can get what I need to get done done. As for restaurants, it’s a last resort, but I only let her play games after she’s done eating, not YouTube and not while we are eating. I don’t judge other families if I see their kids on a phone or tablet while out to eat. You never know how rough their day has been. Maybe the parents just need a moment of calm and silence in their day. Maybe this is the first time mom and dad have gotten to sit down for a meal together all week and just want to be able to converse with each other. You never know. And in the the end, it’s their family, not mine. It’s honestly none of my business and I try really hard not to judge them for things I may not necessarily agree with or do myself. Unless it’s car seat safety or vaccines. I’ll totally judge the shit out of you with those two things.

lifesabeach85 · August 2018

Call me a curmudgeon but... I HATE surprises. Basically all of them. Surprise party? No thanks. Team green? You do you but it’s not for me. Wedding/shower gifts not from a registry? I mean that’s the point of a registry!

runningyogimama · August 2018

@lifesabeach85 OMG, YES to hating surprises!!!!!

emjohn517 · August 2018

@wannaflickone I have had that thought and I do assume some of them are dressed for work. But I have spoken to some, or eaves dropped lol, and know that for some they just like to be ready to get out of the house. And as I said, hey, you do you. If my toddler would sit still long enough to let me, I would too. MH has a work dinner tonight that I’m going to and I’ve literally been working on hair and makeup all day bc my kid needs a snack, wants to do a puzzle, wants me to do her hair, wants to play with my makeup brushes. This is why I cannot deal with being fully ready by 9:30 am for story time

so the yoga pants and bare face it is lol.

bkosy · August 2018

@lachnessmomster Whenever I see a mom with a kid having a meltdown I usually try my hardest not to look. Because I know I hate being looked at in that moment. It's like "just ignore what's going on over here!"

On the other hand...I really don't like when people have kids that are screaming or misbehaving in public and the parent is just completely ignoring the child

MouseMama817 · August 2018

I will say we limit screen time at home to 30 minutes-ish in the morning so I can wake up and acclimate to the day, and at the end of the day so I can get dinner going in peace. I try hard not to have the tv on during the day. I also don’t allow DD to have my phone (we don’t own a tablet) when we’re in the car, partially because I want it to be effective if I end up having to pull it out wherever we’re going, and partially so I don’t feel so guilty about using it. And if we do use it in public, the volume is waaaaaaaay low. Almost inaudible. I can’t stand that crap. Like honestly what in the hell with people talking on speaker in public?

DH and I decided to go to lunch one day and I brought toys, a coloring book, a mini puzzle, etc. to keep DD quiet. All of that eventually failed so I pulled the phone out and here comes our 40-something year old waiter with his “Back in my day we didn’t have the digital babysitters so our kids actually ate their food!” (He was butt hurt that we didn’t order DD her own entree because she NEVER eats when we go out.) Mother f*cker.....

pink_polkadots · August 2018

@lachnessmomster Whenever I see a parent with a kid having a meltdown, I always try to send them my best “oh I totally get it honey” vibes and my most empathetic face. But of course when it’s MY kid having a meltdown, I feel like everyone is staring at me like “OMG why can’t she control her kid”

MouseMama817 · August 2018

@BabyBoyH92016 This is such a good point. DH and I were just talking about how we feel we’re doing everything wrong because DD can be so obstinate sometimes. He said maybe we should take our parents approach so she’ll be scared into minding us but I told him that to me that’s borderline child abuse. I don’t want my children to be afraid of me. If the only way my little girl will sit still in a restaurant is because she knows she’ll be taken to the bathroom for a spanking otherwise...hard pass for me. I love my dad dearly but he was a tough disciplinarian like you described. I don’t want my kids growing up with that kind of fear!

runningyogimama · August 2018

Having kids (I’m not talking about a newborn) is not an excuse to be perpetually late, which is seems I hear too many people use as an excuse. Anticipate the meltdowns and everything taking twice as long as you expect it to, and plan accordingly.

offtoneverland · August 2018

@pink_polkadots Thanks for the reminder that not everyone's lives are like mine. I sometimes forget that. You're totally right though. MH and I go out to eat at least once a week, and we were very blessed with a DD who does pretty well sitting through dinner and is easily entertained by crayons. But I forgot that some people don't do that as often as we do, and you better believe that if it was our first time going out to eat in 6 months, we'd probably want some peace and quiet from DD too if she was being a monster.

firsttimespartanmom · August 2018

@runningyogimama omg I could not agree more. This may be incredibly naive because I don’t have other kids, but it drives me insane when people are 20+ minutes late because “kids.” Now, I completely understand that things happen and being on time is not feasible all the time. But I have co-workers who are consistently 30 minutes to an hour late to work every single day because they couldn’t get their kids out the door. Really?

BabyBoyH92016 · August 2018

I’m pretty much on time, but i only have one kid. I’m sure it will be much more difficult to get out the door with a toddler and a baby.

lifesabeach85 · August 2018

@runningyogimama Yes! Habitual lateness is my biggest pet peeve! I am rarely late and I find it so rude when people are just regularly late, like it implies their time is just more valuable. I understand that sometimes things happen that are out of our control - unexpected traffic jam, boss let the meeting go on unexpectedly long, alarm fail, etc. And yeah kids can cause these big time - if DD somehow spills something on the floor right before we leave I would have to clean up the spill, change her clothes, and so forth. But not all the time!

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