October 2018 Moms
knottieamusements
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Bouncing Baby Check-in (Week of July 27)
knottieamusements
member
Someone suggested a weekly check-in for Moms whose babies have been delivered. I think that is a great idea, especially since I feel like I’m struggling to find my place back in the group right now. (Sorry, but I can no longer relate to struggling with uncomfortable sleep positions, and my belly button has suddenly reappeared.)
So, the Bouncing Baby check-in is born. Hopefully this will help keep Moms of outside babies active on here a bit longer as Facebook also becomes one of our haunts.
1) How old is baby; any milestones or brags this week?
2) How are you feeling, Mom?
3) Rants / Raves / Questions?
4) GTKY: What is the dumbest question you’ve been asked since baby was born?
So, the Bouncing Baby check-in is born. Hopefully this will help keep Moms of outside babies active on here a bit longer as Facebook also becomes one of our haunts.
1) How old is baby; any milestones or brags this week?
2) How are you feeling, Mom?
3) Rants / Raves / Questions?
4) GTKY: What is the dumbest question you’ve been asked since baby was born?
Re: Bouncing Baby Check-in (Week of July 27)
6 days old on the outside. 30w2d by gestational age (this is something they pay close attention to in the NICU).
They stepped down Max’s respiratory support this morning, and he seems to be doing really well with the lower level of intervention.
2) How are you feeling, Mom?
Tired, but no longer completely exhausted. I was finally discharged yesterday, and it is fabulous to be able to sleep in my own bed again. Strangely, I’m really not worried about Max; I have a lot of confidence that he is being well taken care of.
3) Rants / Raves / Questions?
Everything anyone told you about night sweats and leaky boobs is true. Just sayin’.
4) GTKY: What is the dumbest question you’ve been asked since baby was born?
Everyone at the hospital was very aware that I was pumping and my baby was in the NICU. One of the nurses asked if I had had a chance to put baby to breast yet. Umm- no. I’ve barely been able to hold baby because he came at 29 weeks. Duh.
I’m intentionality not asking his doctors for a timeframe and giving serious side eye to anyone that tries to be encouraging about time frames.
The official answer is that I should expect Max to be in NICU until around his due date, and potentially longer if he isn’t able to meet the required developmental milestones. He has to be able to sleep safely in a crib, feed by mouth (apparently suckling is a learned skill), and tolerate being in a car seat for 90min. There may be more than these, these are just the big ones I am aware of.
It is possible that we will get there significantly sooner than his original EDD, but I’m going to try to not get my hopes up.
1) How old is baby; any milestones or brags this week? As of today Liam is 4 days old, he should've been 27 weeks gestation exactly today. Today was a great day for little man. They were able to turn his oxygen down to 30, he is tolerating his tiny little feedings and his vitals have stayed stable. I'm praying this continues for a few days so he doesn't need more 02 or anymore blood transfusions.
2) How are you feeling, Mom? I'm ok, recovering from a c section is not fun. The bruising I've experienced is just not something I was prepared for and it's been the most painful part. I had originally planned to use a belly bind but after seeing the bruising I honestly didn't know if I had made it worse and was so freaked out I couldn't use it again. Also, there's no way to emotionally prepare to leave your baby in the NICU. I knew from about 17 weeks that I would be facing a NICU stay. I read stories, saw pictures, and still I've been really emotional visiting him and being home without him. It's going to be a tough road.
3) Rants / Raves / Questions? None yet, they'll come I'm sure
4) GTKY: What is the dumbest question you’ve been asked since baby was born? Ugh, nurses can be so dumb sometimes. I had a pair who were assigned to me through the night that came to check my wound and exclaimed "You don't even look like you just had a baby"...Yeah, no sh** that's what happens when you deliver at 26 weeks, what the heck?! Like did you not read my chart before coming in here? People don't know how to react when you have a preemie, so navigating the daily "how is he doing" texts is starting to get hard as well. I'm literally just leaving them on read lol
Married: 12/16/12
TTC #1: 06/15 BFP #1:07/13/15
D&C: 08/28/15
BFP #2: 09/26/15
M: 06/03/16
BFP #2: 02/12/18
L : 7/26/18 (SIUGR, micropreemie)
Married: 12/16/12
TTC #1: 06/15 BFP #1:07/13/15
D&C: 08/28/15
BFP #2: 09/26/15
M: 06/03/16
BFP #2: 02/12/18
L : 7/26/18 (SIUGR, micropreemie)
FYI - that is my go to answer to the people who keep asking for updates- “everything is going as well as can be expected.” They don’t need details, and it covers the things regardless of whether there is some big change. I usually include a picture with it, because I take lots of pictures.
The ones that especially annoy me are the people that I asked to go to my Mom for updates because I was so stressed dealing with people, but keep bugging me instead.
TTC since 2016
Due: October 12, 2018
Location: Ontario, Canada
Married: 12/16/12
TTC #1: 06/15 BFP #1:07/13/15
D&C: 08/28/15
BFP #2: 09/26/15
M: 06/03/16
BFP #2: 02/12/18
L : 7/26/18 (SIUGR, micropreemie)
Glad to read updates about your boys, but echoing everyone else, no stress about posting often!
Married: 12/16/12
TTC #1: 06/15 BFP #1:07/13/15
D&C: 08/28/15
BFP #2: 09/26/15
M: 06/03/16
BFP #2: 02/12/18
L : 7/26/18 (SIUGR, micropreemie)
tl:dr - your friend probably appreciated you checking in every few weeks rather every few days, because she had a lot more going on than you realize.
My best friends, the ones who are my second family, don’t reach out every day, or even every other day. They know that I don’t do that level of interaction very well. They wait until I reach out, and only check in if several days have passed.
Other people, who are friends or even acquaintances, are trying to check in more often, and it can be exhausting. Baby is fine, I am fine, and even if that wasn’t true, I don’t want to talk to generic “you” about the details. I have asked most of those people to talk to my Mom, and too many have ignored that request, which is frustrating. I’m exhausted, and responding takes a level of emotional energy I don’t really have right now. It also takes time, which you might think I have, but really don’t have much of either.