selfishly started... I just have a super black cloud over my head today - figuratively and literally
Was awake until 3 because DH just HAD to wash every f'n thing
in the house (including 12 month boy clothes wtf), sort every article of baby
clothes 3x, hang ikea shelves, clean the family room - all until after 1 and
THEN shower in our en suite. He also stripped our bed and washed our comforter - so there was no going to bed and leaving his psycho nesting to himself until the laundry was all done. Of course I'm wide awake until 3 because I
should have already been asleep for 4 hours and can't shut my brain off and
he's snoring away beside me. Told him 4 times - don't wake me up, let me sleep
in since it's probably the last time for a year. HE BROUGHT DD IN TO SAY GOODBYE AGAIN - i had just fallen asleep after
his bed shaking loogie hacking morning routine and now have a 2 year old
dropped on my back. Luckily i did manage to fall back asleep for 2 more hours - thank you sleep mask and rainy weather!
When I do wake up, pain level is at a solid 8 due to all the deep cleaning this weekend and it takes me a good hour to get dressed because I'm moving so slowly and can barely waddle. Plan was to go get my pre-op blood work done and then get a trim/blowout and maybe a pedicure depending on how I'm doing... Well halfway to the lab the sky splits open and it's POURING and humid as hell - probably not a good day to PAY for a blowout since it'll be ruined within 2 sec of stepping outside. Lucked out majorly at the lab! no wait and competent phlebotomist! However I didn't know they'd bracelet me right then and there with blood type etc for the hospital so now I'm rethinking this whole bath and hair plan. Head to Starbucks for a pick-me-up - no idea why but my coffee just tastes off today - so i gave up on being out and came straight home to bump, watch musicals, and try to button up some bills and stuff. I want to finish the milestone cubes I started for DS, but my cricut is totally hiding in the chaos of construction, so I was going to try to do the numbers/words by hand but my fingers are so stiff and swollen I'm not sure about gripping a paint pen... here's hoping I can kick the funk and get my last me-day in a LONG time back on track. </rant>
I am a humongous ball of emotion today. I still feel like everyone thinks no matter when the baby comes it will be inconvenient. DH was like, "Everyone is kidding!" And I started crying and was like, " NO THEY AREN"T AND IF THEY ARE IT DOESNT FEEL LIKE IT!"
DH came upstairs early from work today and was playing with DS, and DS kicked him because I came in to talk to him and he got all excited and used his feet to get his dads attention (which he shouldn't do). Anyway DH was like, we're taking a break from this and got up to leave and came and sat on the couch. He was on his computer for like, 15 minutes and DS was being a mess because he was so excited DH was up here and he kept saying, "Hold on I'll play in a minute, hold on in a minute" over and over. The DS said he was hungry and DH didn't get his food. So finally I was like, ok let me finish with my vacuuming and I'll be right in to play, and then I turned to DH and was like, "GO downstairs if you aren't done working." Then he was like, "Well you won't stop talking to me so I guess I can't get anything done anyway and I'll just go play." So I was like, whatever, if its work then just do it, I won't clean. And he sat on the couch for another 30 minutes doing work....turns out he was ordering books about computery training things. Like you can't do that after he goes to bed?!?!. I ended up getting DS dinner and DH just went to bed 20 minutes ago because "his eyes are tired." That means I have to stay up with the dogs because I don't like sending them to bed before 8 they whine about having to go out to early and he never hears it. So me, who was up at 3:30am, is now still up while DH sleeps and I will have to do all the night time routines alone. AND IM HAVING CONTRACTIONS AND YOU KNOW THEY WILL FIZZLE OUT. Ugh. The emotions, y'all.
@SmashJam hugs - sounds like a very frustrating evening thanks @lindsayleigh1989! Turns out the restaurant we were going to have dinner at - same one we ate at the night before DD was born - isn't open on Mondays so we went to the Italian place across town because i was now craving calamari and for the first time ever they didn't have my favorite meal - but it was good and DD behaved pretty well. I took a nice cool bath to try to help with the foot swelling and am now fighting with my time card for the next month so I don't have to worry about it in the hospital. Also tried to take a last pic of DD kissing the belly and guess we've never tried it both standing before because she totally just went headfirst into my crotch LOL got a better one but totally keeping that one too.
Took my newborn to her first well check today... they had to test her jaundice levels. The nurse who was doing it stuck her in the same heel that the hospital checked. She tried for like 30 minutes to fill the vial but couldn't get enough blood. She decided to stick her again in the SAME heel. Of course nothing came out.... my daughter screamed and cried until she passed out, literally. I had to take my daughter to the lab at the hospital instead. They poked her once in the other heel and got the vial filled quickly. I just felt so bad for her. She has been sleeping almost the whole day since
Annoyed with H because he spends most of his day in the garage and is now making plans to go train the dog. Once again if feels like he’s taking a vacation instead of being home to help with baby. I get it I’m BFing but hey there’s a stash he can use to bottle feed and give me a break from the hourly feedings. And if he is inside he’s on the computer. Ugh
I'm starting to get SUPER annoyed with people poking or mentioning my belly button. Yes it is sticking out, no it does not feel good, and no I do not want or need your comments. "Do I push this to ring the bell?" like that's funny. My god what is wrong with people...
IVF baby girl born 7/2018 TTC 2013. FET 11/17 - BFP after attempt #6!
I know it's Wednesday but my mom is frustrating. She refuses to drive anywhere on her own, tho she's fully capable of driving. She asked me today if I would run an errand for her today...for HER. No. I told get to go to the store herself and she refuses and just says, ok, we'll wait until tomorrow when the kids are at daycare. Ugh. Also, she won't play with DS. She wants the easy gentle child, DD, and won't try with DS, who I desperately need entertained so he doesn't accidentally squash his baby sister. I feel so bad for him, on top of his already having separation anxiety for DH only. He sobbed for 15 minutes after DH left for work this morning. I'm counting down the days until my dad and brother get here so they can both drive places with the kids AND play with DS the way he needs. And... She doesn't make food for the kids. Dinner? She would rather I order something. She's like, I'm not that hungry anyway... As if that matters?? On the positive, she makes my house look really good every day when she cleans.
@flockofmoosen3 Ugh, major rage! I would be so mad if my mom asked me to do something for her right after having a baby. At least she's good with the cleaning.
I feel like between over due pregnancies and sleep deprived new moms, we should just have a week long non stop bitchfest going at all times.
Me to H: “I am sleep deprived and haven’t slept for more than 2 hours at a time in 2 weeks, I am overwhelmed and need more help. from now on instead of asking if I want you to do X, can you please just step in and offer to do X, or better yet, just start doing it for me?”
5 minutes later
H: “do you want me to put toddler to bed tonight, or you got it?”
I don’t know what to say, the listening comprehension skills are not where i’d Expect from a grown man.
Then theres this: me: can you please take baby and Burp him so I can go pee?” Come back a minute later and he’s holding the baby and listening to voicemails on his phone Me: why aren’t you burping him? That can’t wait 5 mins? H: I didn’t know you wanted me to burp him.
Boo to manchildren and inconsiderate moms! I always wonder what I'll be like as a grandma...beca bec I can tell you my mom is turning into my grandma, I can totally see the similarities, so I wonder what I'll be like, lol.
We visited DH at work today and I was so stressed getting out of the house, had to nurse LO after he took a long, unexpected nap, the living room was a sauna, I was sweating like crazy and I was afraid of missing DH's lunch window. Then LO screamed bloody murder when put him in the car seat...at which point I thought shit this is never going to happen. Then 2 minutes later, the crazy baby falls asleep...and he stayed asleep until 5 minutes after we got home. Definitely lucky, but also a lesson in "trying to leave the house with an infant" for someone like me who is always late...
@kissableviv Hey that's a major accomplishment in my books! Getting out of the house was horrible for me with DD1 and I'm a little terrified of doing it with both when LO arrives. I'm glad he cooperated once you were out though!
@kissableviv we are also always late. The first pediatrician appt (and first outing with LO) I asked DH to wake me up. It was for 10:15 and he woke me up at 9:30 and I had to feed the baby. Like dude, feeding the baby (5 days old at the time) takes 45 minutes in and of itself. I was that Mom walking into the office, disheveled, 10 minutes late. DH and I had a long convo about how leaving the house with a baby is a much longer process
I know it’s wednesday but I had to add how annoyed I am at dh. He’s been back to work full time this week and the baby and I have been camping out in the living room so he can get sleep. LO did not sleep last night. He was cluster feeding from 2am-8am. I got to sleep only from 8-10am this morning. Running on fumes. Dh comes Home from work, eats dinner my parents brought over and sits on the couch on his phone. He then proceeds to tell me needs to take a nap bc he has work to do tonight. Mind you I wanted to try squeezing in an hr while baby is asleep before the night begins. He says that I’m home all day not working and he has to drive to work and work all day. I just want to scream. So now he’s napping at 9pm at night. I haven’t left the house since we came home except for his first dr. Appt. so I have cabin fever and just feel like I’m losing it. We still haven’t introduced the pacifier or bottle so I just am a prisoner until we do.
Its Friday but like @zande2016 said I feel overdue pregnancies/new moms deserve a week long BF thread. So here's mine.
DH has 2 brothers, one has 2 kids and the other has none. BIL with no kids has a HORRID wife, sets out to separate him from the family, hates my H and his other brother etc. I have butted heads many times with her and needed to put her in her place for the way she has treated or talked to my H, and they've only been married 1.5 years. Anyway, last Nov they went through some pretty tough things, it was sort of a roller coaster affect with Low then High then Low again. She is a very "let me deal with this on my own" type of person, so originally we reached out to say we were praying for them and if there was anything they needed to let us know. Then it was the High and when they hit the second Low BIL sends a text to DH and his other brother that said, "it would be really nice if you guys reached out to my wife right now so she knows she has family. You have no idea what it's like to go through this." It was really snobby and rude, especially since we had been through the EXACT same thing and just recently struggled with it a month prior to them. Anyway, I spent an entire week at their house, bringing meals, cleaning and sitting with them just to talk etc. FF to now. DH left in June and I haven't heard from either one of them. When DH was home for the birth of the baby BIL came alone to see the baby and before he left my H told him something similar, "Yall reach out to K, remember shes alone with 2 kids and has a lot on her plate." BIL responds, "Yeah we will try." Guess what haven't heard from them once. It's so annoying how people expect one thing from you but then cant even return the favor at a time when someone may really really need it. They have no kids so when they get off at 5 PM they literally are doing nothing but their nightly routine of staying home and watching tv. I'm just so annoyed with them, and then when DH talks to them they act like they've done everything to get in touch with me. DH told his brother not to feed that BS because he knows better.
@kbernal2021 ugh, your BIL and his wife sound a lot like my middle bro and his harpy wife. They expect everyone to be there for them but don't ever return the favor.
I also need to rant a little today. Last week my 84 year old grandmother with severe dementia fell and broke her hip and shoulder. She lives in a smaller town in the Mojave so had to be taken over to Palmdale for surgery. She had the surgery and she wasn't doing well after so we were all preparing for the inevitable bad news. She also really out of it because of the medication, the stress and the dementia combined and no one could understand her. She started getting better so they were going to transfer her back to the hospital in her town. Then she got an infection and they couldn't transfer her. Well she passed away yesterday morning and my Dad texted me the news. WTF. I know he was sad his mom passed away, and she had been in declining health for years, but you don't text someone with that news! You call! He also wanted to know if I would be going down for the funeral. Of course I would like to go, but a 2.5 hour flight, renting a car, and then a 3 hour drive from LA doesn't sound like a fun idea with a 3 week old. So I'm sad and mad at the same time.
@kbernal2021 so lovely when people expects you to move mpintamou for them but don't seem to think it's also nice to be there for other people. People who want to constantly be the center of attention are the worst!
@noideawhatshesdoing sorry to hear the sad news. Personally, I don't like sharing any big news via text. We did it with our son's birth because of course it was easier...but a death in the family, well, a call would be nice. Sorry you can't travel there for the funeral but it makes perfect sense you would not be able to with the baby and all.
@noideawhatshesdoing so sorry for your loss. I know the possibility of missing the funeral is probably also hard in itself. And yes I agree those type of things require a call vs a text, and I hope your dads mind is just too clouded to realize that wasnt the way to give you the news, and he will realize it and soon apologize.
ETA: @kissableviv it's so bad because my FIL plays victim a lot too and they HATE him and always say stuff about it. Not realizing they're the same in different ways. I don't expect anything in return and am certainly not trying to keep score in anyway but in all honesty it would be nice for them to reach out and at least say hi. They were a big part of my sons life and hes old enough to realize they haven't seen us once since DH left.
@kbernal2021 that is super horrid. Next time they ask for help and say how “you never reach out” I would gently remind them if this time. But I’m petty lol
Lol @moguippy petty should be my middle name. We are moving out of our city at the end of the year and I'm sure we will never hear from them again at that point. So when we come to visit guess who's left off the list of people to see.
@noideawhatshesdoing I am so sorry for your loss! My grandmother passed away under very similar circumstances and I know I would be a wreck if that’s how my family told me the news. Hugs
@noideawhatshesdoing I am so sorry for your loss. My grandmother also passed away under similar circumstances except I had no idea she was sick because my Uncle never told us. Lots of creepy internet hugs to you.
@kbernal2021 that blows - I've had to learn to cut toxic people out of my life, but it's so difficult when it's family - sounds like you and DH have a great attitude about it though! @noideawhatshesdoing I'm so sorry for your loss
I second the idea of a full week of bitching! Mine is also about in-laws...but more also about boundaries and inconsideration.
So yesterday we had to rush our announcement on facebook and then text a bunch of friends apologizing for the rushed announcement because the in-laws have no boundaries and feel it's their news to share. We didn't decide name until Wednesday, and have been too engrossed with visiting him in the NICU and talking to doctors and have been pretty much hiding out and not even really sharing LO was born because we knew everyone would be up in our shit and we needed space/time. DH tells his parents the name yesterday morning, within an hour we're getting FB group messages from his aunt welcoming baby Nathaniel to the clan! Luckily I had already made the graphic at 4 am yesterday and we could quickly post it before it spread further or someone posted it to our wall. Well within 15 min of posting, DH's sister and "cousin" have downloaded and reposted the picture on their pages, announcing their nephew. At least this time they waited for us to announce first - but no one asked about sharing his picture with their friend lists before blasting it out there - which a lot of parents are very particular about. I'm honestly shocked that MIL/FIL haven't blasted to the whole family he's in the NICU and what hospital so that we're inundated with calls/visits. MIL managed to take off last night to come see the baby - well they first spent a half hour on the phone with DH getting turn by turn directions but not actually listening to him or following them (they have smart phones with GPS btw) and then complaining about how confusing the hospital is when they don't follow his advice. Then MIL asked 1000 questions but wasn't quite as dramatic as I expected, then FIL who was sitting right next to her for all the questions but texting people on his phone asked the same 1000 questions. Today MIL then tried to talk DH into hiring nurses to come to the house and check the baby's vitals regularly once we go home (we pray she doesn't hear about the owlet sock or know she's going to buy one to obsess over every breath), FIL called DH 4x and me 1x while we were visiting in the NICU to get updates (all missed calls, all within 2 hours), and SIL texted 2x asking for updates on the baby. I know I'm going to get side-eye that I should appreciate that they care, but there's caring/showing concern/trying to support, and then there's making it about your want/need to know what's going on and be obsessive at the expense of the parents who are worried/stressed/exhausted enough already and just trying to get through.
@kbernal2021 that super sucks. I’m sorry that you don’t have the support of family while you’re alone with a newborn. It’s a really isolating feeling. I don’t blame you at all for not putting them on the priority list once you move!
@noideawhatshesdoing I’m so sorry for your loss. My grandma died in the fall after a very quick illness. I felt really cheated when she died because the night before I asked my dad if I should come to the hospital to see her (I hadn’t seen her in almost 3 years because my dad and I were fighting) and he said no because it didn’t seem urgent yet and he’d let me know in the morning. Well he forgot and she passed by the time I was able to get ahold of him. It’s a different situation but I understand how big a blow it can be to get that news- especially by text. I’m sorry.
Thanks ladies for your sweet support about my grandmother. It's sad that she's gone, but she'd been in such a decline for so long. Last time I saw her she had no idea who I was and kept introducing herself to me in these 1 minute loops for about an hour, she also thought DH was "the help", so I guess I'm happy for her that she's not stuck anymore. I was pretty sure the last time i saw her would be the last time, so at least I have closure. Just annoyed that dad told me via text, but I shouldn't be surprised. Thats how he does things.
@hillbillywife that's terrible! I'm so sorry you didn't get to see her at the hospital.
@noideawhatshesdoing so sorry for your loss, its awful to hear those things over text!
@gingerbride26 so sorry you're having to deal with family not giving you space as you deal with a child in the NICU! THey should be backing off and letting you deal with this and sending only comforting words and offers of help, not asking questions and demanding that their needs be met in regards to information about the baby. FX Nathaniel comes out of there soon and you can be done with their constant questions (even if it comes from a good place!)!
AFM, y'all may remember that my dad was pulled over for a felony DUI on Easter Sunday when he was driving to Indiana (moving back). part of his court decision was an interlock device on his car for a year that meant he had to blow into it to start it, AND they do rolling retests so in order to keep teh car running he has to blow into it while driving if the thing beeps (genius!), so he can't drink IN the car-a problem for him. Anyway he told me he's been checking to see how many beers he can have before he goes to sleep so that he can blow to turn the car on in the morning and realizes its way less than he usually drinks and he won't be able to drink in the middle of the night anymore, he is going to start going to therapy, and he plans on being sober and working on some things.
Talked to my SIL yesterday after she got off the phone with my bro who is in rehab in California, and she said my dad came over to see her and my niece, and I mentioned that he wanted to be sober and go to therapy. she was like, uh, he has not been sober. He walked the 1.5 miles to my house because he had been drinking and couldn't start his car, then he walked all over downtown and back. This is just one weekend, but seriously...why tell me all the other stuff if you were just gonna do business as usual? This isn't helping your drinking issues. I'm just so sick of my fam telling me one thing to make me happy and just continuing to be dumpster fires. It's so obnoxious.
@SmashJam how frustrating. At least he's saying he wants to go to rehab? Is that at least a new positive thing? Or is that something he's made a habit of saying?
@SmashJam I was excited for a sec till I realized this was a BF thread and knew there had to be a “but”. I’m sorry that they don’t have the motivation to really get better.
@noideawhatshesdoing it’s ok. Not what I wanted, but I’m glad that she didn’t suffer.
@noideawhatshesdoing my dad has done medical detox before and was sober for a month and is probably better than he USED to be, because he is super aware of his health as well. He's all into keto and working out and monitoring his blood pressure and goes to the doc regularly. He does, however, drink more than the average bear and also wakes up to drink, sometimes drinks in the morning, drinks on his way to things, etc. So not perfect. He tends to slip back into his old habits, and I think he only went to medical detox before because his ex girlfriend said something to him about it being a problem.
My bro has been to medical detox twice and rehab twice plus his anklet where he couldn't drink for 90 days and was drunk within an hour of being out of/off of each of those things. So I'm not holding my breath for this rehab although this time he's there for a minimum of 45 days and doing an 8 day medical detox and then going to a sober living house. So maybe a combo of all those things will do the trick. I know rehab isn't a magic bullet and rarely works the first time around but he never tries when he gets out, so hopefully this time he does!
@SmashJam I'm so sorry. Do you think they're just telling you these things because they think you worry or want to make you proud, or are they lying to themselves as well? My mother also drinks more than the average bear (easily 1-2 handles of vodka a week) but she's never admitted - even to appease someone - that it's a problem and stopped going to the dr because she didn't want to listen. It might almost be easier for you if they are knowingly lying to you rather than lying to themselves as well, one less hurdle to over come if they do become motivated - but then again they may never. Lots of hugs! Also thanks - today they did a complete 180 and called while we were visiting in the NICU and then shut off the phones - while they were watching our daughter for the day lol so my husband had to call his sister to go over and check on everyone. Luckily nothing but good news on both sides and no issues - though they sent my kid home with 5 giant carnival stuffed animals...but my daughter is so sweet she said one was for baby brother, so how can you say no.
gingerbride26
member
Re: Monday BF - 7/23/18
Was awake until 3 because DH just HAD to wash every f'n thing in the house (including 12 month boy clothes wtf), sort every article of baby clothes 3x, hang ikea shelves, clean the family room - all until after 1 and THEN shower in our en suite. He also stripped our bed and washed our comforter - so there was no going to bed and leaving his psycho nesting to himself until the laundry was all done. Of course I'm wide awake until 3 because I should have already been asleep for 4 hours and can't shut my brain off and he's snoring away beside me. Told him 4 times - don't wake me up, let me sleep in since it's probably the last time for a year. HE BROUGHT DD IN TO SAY GOODBYE AGAIN - i had just fallen asleep after his bed shaking loogie hacking morning routine and now have a 2 year old dropped on my back. Luckily i did manage to fall back asleep for 2 more hours - thank you sleep mask and rainy weather!
When I do wake up, pain level is at a solid 8 due to all the deep cleaning this weekend and it takes me a good hour to get dressed because I'm moving so slowly and can barely waddle. Plan was to go get my pre-op blood work done and then get a trim/blowout and maybe a pedicure depending on how I'm doing... Well halfway to the lab the sky splits open and it's POURING and humid as hell - probably not a good day to PAY for a blowout since it'll be ruined within 2 sec of stepping outside. Lucked out majorly at the lab! no wait and competent phlebotomist! However I didn't know they'd bracelet me right then and there with blood type etc for the hospital so now I'm rethinking this whole bath and hair plan. Head to Starbucks for a pick-me-up - no idea why but my coffee just tastes off today - so i gave up on being out and came straight home to bump, watch musicals, and try to button up some bills and stuff. I want to finish the milestone cubes I started for DS, but my cricut is totally hiding in the chaos of construction, so I was going to try to do the numbers/words by hand but my fingers are so stiff and swollen I'm not sure about gripping a paint pen... here's hoping I can kick the funk and get my last me-day in a LONG time back on track. </rant>
DH came upstairs early from work today and was playing with DS, and DS kicked him because I came in to talk to him and he got all excited and used his feet to get his dads attention (which he shouldn't do). Anyway DH was like, we're taking a break from this and got up to leave and came and sat on the couch. He was on his computer for like, 15 minutes and DS was being a mess because he was so excited DH was up here and he kept saying, "Hold on I'll play in a minute, hold on in a minute" over and over. The DS said he was hungry and DH didn't get his food. So finally I was like, ok let me finish with my vacuuming and I'll be right in to play, and then I turned to DH and was like, "GO downstairs if you aren't done working." Then he was like, "Well you won't stop talking to me so I guess I can't get anything done anyway and I'll just go play." So I was like, whatever, if its work then just do it, I won't clean. And he sat on the couch for another 30 minutes doing work....turns out he was ordering books about computery training things. Like you can't do that after he goes to bed?!?!. I ended up getting DS dinner and DH just went to bed 20 minutes ago because "his eyes are tired." That means I have to stay up with the dogs because I don't like sending them to bed before 8 they whine about having to go out to early and he never hears it. So me, who was up at 3:30am, is now still up while DH sleeps and I will have to do all the night time routines alone. AND IM HAVING CONTRACTIONS AND YOU KNOW THEY WILL FIZZLE OUT. Ugh. The emotions, y'all.
thanks @lindsayleigh1989! Turns out the restaurant we were going to have dinner at - same one we ate at the night before DD was born - isn't open on Mondays
@gingerbride26 my coffee tasted off today too, and I had them remake it, weird.
DH is literally the most incompassionate person lately.
My acid reflux is like 1000times worse and I just cant sleep.
UGH ready for this to be over and today is only JUST my due date.
IVF baby girl born 7/2018
TTC 2013. FET 11/17 - BFP after attempt #6!
Also, she won't play with DS. She wants the easy gentle child, DD, and won't try with DS, who I desperately need entertained so he doesn't accidentally squash his baby sister. I feel so bad for him, on top of his already having separation anxiety for DH only. He sobbed for 15 minutes after DH left for work this morning. I'm counting down the days until my dad and brother get here so they can both drive places with the kids AND play with DS the way he needs.
And... She doesn't make food for the kids. Dinner? She would rather I order something. She's like, I'm not that hungry anyway... As if that matters??
On the positive, she makes my house look really good every day when she cleans.
Me to H: “I am sleep deprived and haven’t slept for more than 2 hours at a time in 2 weeks, I am overwhelmed and need more help. from now on instead of asking if I want you to do X, can you please just step in and offer to do X,
or better yet, just start doing it for me?”
5 minutes later
H: “do you want me to put toddler to bed tonight, or you got it?”
I don’t know what to say, the listening comprehension skills are not where i’d Expect from a grown man.
Then theres this:
me: can you please take baby and Burp him so I can go pee?”
Come back a minute later and he’s holding the baby and listening to voicemails on his phone
Me: why aren’t you burping him? That can’t wait 5 mins?
H: I didn’t know you wanted me to burp him.
Blank stare. Apparently I have 3 kids, not 2.
We visited DH at work today and I was so stressed getting out of the house, had to nurse LO after he took a long, unexpected nap, the living room was a sauna, I was sweating like crazy and I was afraid of missing DH's lunch window. Then LO screamed bloody murder when put him in the car seat...at which point I thought shit this is never going to happen. Then 2 minutes later, the crazy baby falls asleep...and he stayed asleep until 5 minutes after we got home. Definitely lucky, but also a lesson in "trying to leave the house with an infant" for someone like me who is always late...
DH has 2 brothers, one has 2 kids and the other has none. BIL with no kids has a HORRID wife, sets out to separate him from the family, hates my H and his other brother etc. I have butted heads many times with her and needed to put her in her place for the way she has treated or talked to my H, and they've only been married 1.5 years. Anyway, last Nov they went through some pretty tough things, it was sort of a roller coaster affect with Low then High then Low again. She is a very "let me deal with this on my own" type of person, so originally we reached out to say we were praying for them and if there was anything they needed to let us know. Then it was the High and when they hit the second Low BIL sends a text to DH and his other brother that said, "it would be really nice if you guys reached out to my wife right now so she knows she has family. You have no idea what it's like to go through this." It was really snobby and rude, especially since we had been through the EXACT same thing and just recently struggled with it a month prior to them. Anyway, I spent an entire week at their house, bringing meals, cleaning and sitting with them just to talk etc.
FF to now. DH left in June and I haven't heard from either one of them. When DH was home for the birth of the baby BIL came alone to see the baby and before he left my H told him something similar, "Yall reach out to K, remember shes alone with 2 kids and has a lot on her plate." BIL responds, "Yeah we will try." Guess what haven't heard from them once. It's so annoying how people expect one thing from you but then cant even return the favor at a time when someone may really really need it. They have no kids so when they get off at 5 PM they literally are doing nothing but their nightly routine of staying home and watching tv. I'm just so annoyed with them, and then when DH talks to them they act like they've done everything to get in touch with me. DH told his brother not to feed that BS because he knows better.
Rant over.
I also need to rant a little today. Last week my 84 year old grandmother with severe dementia fell and broke her hip and shoulder. She lives in a smaller town in the Mojave so had to be taken over to Palmdale for surgery. She had the surgery and she wasn't doing well after so we were all preparing for the inevitable bad news. She also really out of it because of the medication, the stress and the dementia combined and no one could understand her. She started getting better so they were going to transfer her back to the hospital in her town. Then she got an infection and they couldn't transfer her. Well she passed away yesterday morning and my Dad texted me the news. WTF. I know he was sad his mom passed away, and she had been in declining health for years, but you don't text someone with that news! You call! He also wanted to know if I would be going down for the funeral. Of course I would like to go, but a 2.5 hour flight, renting a car, and then a 3 hour drive from LA doesn't sound like a fun idea with a 3 week old. So I'm sad and mad at the same time.
@noideawhatshesdoing sorry to hear the sad news. Personally, I don't like sharing any big news via text. We did it with our son's birth because of course it was easier...but a death in the family, well, a call would be nice. Sorry you can't travel there for the funeral but it makes perfect sense you would not be able to with the baby and all.
ETA: @kissableviv it's so bad because my FIL plays victim a lot too and they HATE him and always say stuff about it. Not realizing they're the same in different ways. I don't expect anything in return and am certainly not trying to keep score in anyway but in all honesty it would be nice for them to reach out and at least say hi. They were a big part of my sons life and hes old enough to realize they haven't seen us once since DH left.
@kbernal2021 that is super horrid. Next time they ask for help and say how “you never reach out” I would gently remind them if this time. But I’m petty lol
Kylie M.
Baby #1 Born 12.16.2015
Baby #2 Due 7.13.2018
@noideawhatshesdoing I'm so sorry for your loss
I second the idea of a full week of bitching! Mine is also about in-laws...but more also about boundaries and inconsideration.
@noideawhatshesdoing I’m so sorry for your loss. My grandma died in the fall after a very quick illness. I felt really cheated when she died because the night before I asked my dad if I should come to the hospital to see her (I hadn’t seen her in almost 3 years because my dad and I were fighting) and he said no because it didn’t seem urgent yet and he’d let me know in the morning. Well he forgot and she passed by the time I was able to get ahold of him. It’s a different situation but I understand how big a blow it can be to get that news- especially by text. I’m sorry.
@hillbillywife that's terrible! I'm so sorry you didn't get to see her at the hospital.
@gingerbride26 so sorry you're having to deal with family not giving you space as you deal with a child in the NICU! THey should be backing off and letting you deal with this and sending only comforting words and offers of help, not asking questions and demanding that their needs be met in regards to information about the baby. FX Nathaniel comes out of there soon and you can be done with their constant questions (even if it comes from a good place!)!
AFM, y'all may remember that my dad was pulled over for a felony DUI on Easter Sunday when he was driving to Indiana (moving back). part of his court decision was an interlock device on his car for a year that meant he had to blow into it to start it, AND they do rolling retests so in order to keep teh car running he has to blow into it while driving if the thing beeps (genius!), so he can't drink IN the car-a problem for him. Anyway he told me he's been checking to see how many beers he can have before he goes to sleep so that he can blow to turn the car on in the morning and realizes its way less than he usually drinks and he won't be able to drink in the middle of the night anymore, he is going to start going to therapy, and he plans on being sober and working on some things.
Talked to my SIL yesterday after she got off the phone with my bro who is in rehab in California, and she said my dad came over to see her and my niece, and I mentioned that he wanted to be sober and go to therapy. she was like, uh, he has not been sober. He walked the 1.5 miles to my house because he had been drinking and couldn't start his car, then he walked all over downtown and back. This is just one weekend, but seriously...why tell me all the other stuff if you were just gonna do business as usual? This isn't helping your drinking issues. I'm just so sick of my fam telling me one thing to make me happy and just continuing to be dumpster fires. It's so obnoxious.
@noideawhatshesdoing it’s ok. Not what I wanted, but I’m glad that she didn’t suffer.
My bro has been to medical detox twice and rehab twice plus his anklet where he couldn't drink for 90 days and was drunk within an hour of being out of/off of each of those things. So I'm not holding my breath for this rehab although this time he's there for a minimum of 45 days and doing an 8 day medical detox and then going to a sober living house. So maybe a combo of all those things will do the trick. I know rehab isn't a magic bullet and rarely works the first time around but he never tries when he gets out, so hopefully this time he does!