**This is a general trigger warning that CP, miscarriage/spontaneous abortion, selective abortion due to medical complications, and/or stillbirth may be mentioned.**
Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis/conditions surrounding loss, etc.
Status:
How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R?
Any testing coming up/any recent results?
GTKY: What's one movie you can watch over and over again no matter how many times you've seen it?
Re: TTCAL week of 7/23
Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis/conditions surrounding loss, etc. 3 losses now - 21 weeks, 5.5 weeks, 6.5 weeks
Status: WTO - Benched
How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R? Struggling with yet another loss and no answers. Struggling with husband who just doesn't understand, even though he thinks he does. Struggling at work. Struggling with struggling.
Any testing coming up/any recent results? Confirmation sono today. Will know more after I talk with the doc but I expect she'll want to run more blood work. Can't wait.
Question for other loss mommas - what does your road to recovery look like after a loss? What are some coping mechanisms you use? Therapy? Journaling? Being with close friends? Alone time?
GTKY: What's one movie you can watch over and over again no matter how many times you've seen it? Titanic. No question.
Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis/conditions surrounding loss, etc. 2 early losses in 8/17, 1/18
Status: TWW
How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R? I’m doing pretty well this week actually. I think being in the TWW with okay timing gives me some optimism. And my OOS brother is in town this week so that makes me happy.
Any testing coming up/any recent results? Nope
GTKY: What's one movie you can watch over and over again no matter how many times you've seen it? Gosh I have so many I love movies. Dirty Dancing, The Princess Bride, 10 Things I Hate About You, The Incredibles, Inside Out, any classic Disney movie, Mega Mind
HX
DSD: 17
DS: 4(Nov'14)
MMC:8/17
MMC: 1/18
BFP: 2/7/19 EDD:10/16/19
Tickers
Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis/conditions surrounding loss, etc. MMC 2/28 at 11.5wks
Status: TWW, aprox 6dpo
How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R? Right now I'm doing good. I feel hopeful and not this cycle. It's a very confusing place to be. Things are looking good on the life and work front. Somethings that were stressors for me are resolving themselves. We still have some things in the air but I feel like they will fall into place soon.
Any testing coming up/any recent results? Just HPT if AF decides not to come through
GTKY: What's one movie you can watch over and over again no matter how many times you've seen it? Most musicals. A few cheesy rom coms (like leagally blonde)
@prpl11butterfly Thank you friend. I hope the doctor can bring some reassurances but we'll see.
@nomangos23 Yes to the husband that doesn't understand. Also yes to struggling with struggling. I feel guilty for how upset I am... and then I feel guilty when I'm not upset. Ugh. The cycle is horrible. I wish I could be more helpful and uplifting, but just know that you aren't alone in your feelings. I have been finding that keeping a gratitude journal has been helpful. Just jot down a couple things every day that you are thankful for, no matter how simple they may be.
@kindbytealikat so fun that your brother is in town. I hope you are able to relax and have some fun.
@prpl11butterfly I'm glad you are feeling better and things seem to be falling into place. Haha and Legally Blonde is always a good one.
Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis/conditions surrounding loss, etc. 1 loss at 11 weeks last month.
Status: WTO - Benched
How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R? Overall I am feeling okay. We are hitting the 19th month TTC and that makes me sad. I know it is nothing compared to most of you, but for some reason 19 just feels a lot bigger than 18...
Any testing coming up/any recent results? *Potential TW*. Finally met with the genetic counselor last week. Since I have a mosaic for Turners Syndrome they were nervous that it contributed to my loss. It doesn't look like it did. Baby girl had Trisomy 18 (also, cue the tears when we found out baby was a girl). They did give us the stats on what studies show for pregnancy outcomes in women with Turners Syndrome. The research shows a 60% chance of miscarriage with each pregnancy and a 40% chance of stillbirth. That being said, they also made it clear that the studies are so small and research available is so little that they hate even talking about those statistics because they really just don't know. They basically said that since they really don't know for sure, they think the best course of action is to try again with Femara and hope for the best. I feel at peace and comfortable with this approach, at least for now. So now I am anxiously waiting for AF or for another 30 days when I can take Provera to induce AF.
GTKY: What's one movie you can watch over and over again no matter how many times you've seen it? Dear John. So lame, but I just love that movie.
The genetic counselor told me some interesting information at my visit last week. I'm not saying this applies to your case, but it made me think of it. They said it that the chromosome testing results will change based on what/where they test. So testing blood might show that everything looks normal, but a tissue sample could be different. She also said a tissue sample of the kidney could look different than your heart. So just because everything came back normal in one sample, doesn't mean it would be if they sampled something else.
You're right. It is so expensive. Also, if your first loss was due to Turner's Syndrome that shouldn't impact future losses. So although it is good to know, it doesn't really help you figure out how to move forward. Good luck at your appointment today. Let us know how it goes!
Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis/conditions surrounding loss, etc. Unexplained RPL. 4 MC.
Status: CD 26. I think I’m still WTO. Urgh.
How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R? Just… feeling really fat and bloated. I’d gotten back on my diet 2 weeks ago and was feeling really good, but this weather (We’re in the middle of the constant rain and flooding north of DC area) and O and everything has me wanting to eat EVERYTHING and making dieting hard!
GTKY: What's one movie you can watch over and over again no matter how many times you've seen it? Star Wars: A New Hope
nomangos23 Sorry for all the struggling… ugh… road to ‘recovery’ is an on-going process. I definitely recommend therapy (find a GOOD therapist that you can relate to though, not just the first person you find). Randomly taking a ‘mental health day’ off work where I can just read/work on projects of my own choosing with NO chores to do has been life saving recently. The road is rough because you’ll work really hard to feel better and ‘normal’ and get back to your usual routine, and you’ll be plugging along thinking you’re doing a lot better when suddenly something hits you square in the face and you end up a mess of a puddle on the ground, sobbing your guts out and/or angry at the entire world… Of course, no matter what you do, it’s always difficult to try to recover while you’ve still got PG hormones in your body. That just makes everything worse!
kindbytealikat Dirty Dancing!!!!
MC #1: D&C Oct 23, 2015 (7.5 weeks)
MC #2: July 1, 2016 (5.5 weeks)
MC #3: October 17, 2016 (CP)
RE #1: RPL testing November 2016-January 2017
MC #4: Feb. 28, 2017 (CP)
RE #2: Additional RPL testing March-November 2017
MC #5: January 2019 (6.5 weeks)
RE #3: More testing 2023.
Egg Retrieval Sept/Oct 2023, 2 good embryos after PGT-A testing.
Surgery for endometriosis January 2024
Lupron Depo March 2024. Benched 3 months. Hopefully FET after that.
#BitterHagPartyOf1
Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis/conditions surrounding loss, etc.
4 losses in the past 10 months. Two CP and two MMC. Diagnosis unexplained.
Status: 5 weeks post D&C still WFFAF.
How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R?
Feeling pretty bitter this week. Despite my best efforts, I can't seem to lose any of the 15 lbs of "pregnancy" weight I've gained after 4 losses. Then I ran into a friend yesterday who had a baby in May and it was so hard to meet that baby and not burst into tears. I also feel like I see at least three pregnant women a day. It's hard not to be bitter that we have no answers and no guarantee that if we keep doing this anything will be different. And now that I know my AMH is low I feel like the clock is ticking, and with each loss it just feels like time is slipping away and our rainbow baby will never happen.
Any testing coming up/any recent results?
No. My RE wanted me to get a final beta since last week was at 7 and they want it below 5 but I don't think I'm going to bother. I took a HPT today since AF hasn't showed and to make sure my HCG wasn't going back up for some reason, but it was negative.
GTKY: What's one movie you can watch over and over again no matter how many times you've seen it?
Anchorman, Zoolander, classic Disney. Not a movie, but I could also always watch The Office or Arrested Development.
Married: 4/5/13
"You know that place between sleep and awake,
that place where you can still remember dreaming?
That's where I will always love you.
That's where I'll be waiting."
~Peter Pan
*TW*
BFP #2: 10/29/17 MMC dx @ 9 weeks
BFP #3: 2/2/18 MC 2/7/18
BFP #4: 3/2/18 MC 3/9/18
RPL testing and hysteroscopy: all normal
BFP #5: 4/1/18 MMC dx @ 14 weeks ----> genetically normal girl
Hysteroscopy to remove scar tissue 9/28
BFP #6 11/5/18 EDD 7/20/19 Rainbow baby girl born 7/23/19
BFP #7 12/8/2021 EDD 8/22/2022
@dpjennifer I don't know why but I always forget about the "hormones are still raging" part after each loss. And how LONG it takes to get them back to normal. And yes, since I've started this TTC journey I've had more toddler-like outbursts than I'd like to admit after weeks of feeling "fine". Gosh it's so tough. Don't beat yourself up too much about the diet. You're only human. And shitty weather calls for certain foods. That's definitely a rule somewhere.
MC #1: D&C Oct 23, 2015 (7.5 weeks)
MC #2: July 1, 2016 (5.5 weeks)
MC #3: October 17, 2016 (CP)
RE #1: RPL testing November 2016-January 2017
MC #4: Feb. 28, 2017 (CP)
RE #2: Additional RPL testing March-November 2017
MC #5: January 2019 (6.5 weeks)
RE #3: More testing 2023.
Egg Retrieval Sept/Oct 2023, 2 good embryos after PGT-A testing.
Surgery for endometriosis January 2024
Lupron Depo March 2024. Benched 3 months. Hopefully FET after that.
#BitterHagPartyOf1
Hugs to each one of you.
::goes back into lurk mode::
Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis/conditions surrounding loss, etc. 2 losses (13wk and 5wk) in the past 2.5 years, uterine septum now gone
Status: cd4, WTO, starting FSH IUI #2
How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R? I’m just feeling pretty negative this cycle. It’s taken so long to get (unsuccessfully) ku in the past, I’m just worried something else is screwed up even if ‘everything looks fine’ per the RE office. It’s so frustrating and demoralizing. On the plus side, I’ve had a lot of friends come from out of town to visit- it’s so nice to see people and catch up.
Any testing coming up/any recent results? Just my monitoring u/s on Saturday.
GTKY: What's one movie you can watch over and over again no matter how many times you've seen it? I love The Fifth Element- it’s so colorful and fun. Agreed with The Princess Bride- such a rewatchable movie. I also will watch any given Mel Brooks movie if it’s on (Young Frankenstein, Men in Tights, etc.). The man never left a joke untold.
@kgg2241 The daughter we lost had mosaic trisomy 15. We met with a geneticist as well and it seems like all they can do is really guess. They say there's a very very small chance it would happen again, but can never promise zero and can never promise something else won't happen. I found it both comforting and not comforting.
@coco2787 I still can't lose the pregnancy weight from my loss either and it makes me sad every time I see my stomach. I'm sorry things are so rough right now.
Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis/conditions surrounding loss, etc. CP, M/C around 7 weeks, and stillbirth at 32 weeks in March 2018
Status: I am having another confusing cycle, so am confused on if I actually did ovulate. I think I did, but got a low temp yesterday that had me wondering. So I guess TWW.
How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R? DH has to leave tomorrow and be out of town for 10 days, so that sucks. But I am going to visit him next weekend, so excited about that.
Any testing coming up/any recent results? I went ahead and made an appt with my RE for Aug 13 since my cycles seriously don't seem to be regulating at all. I'm beyond frustrated.
GTKY: What's one movie you can watch over and over again no matter how many times you've seen it? Tommy Boy, Waterboy, Moulin Rouge
Ok now a new thing happened that I am having a hard time with.
Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis/conditions surrounding loss, etc.
mmc 2/12, MMC 8/17
Status: benched
How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R?
it has been a rollercoaster. I was in a great and hopeful mood, I was going to call and get my IUD out tomorrow, then realized my obgyn was on vacation. But every time things look up, they come crashing down.
Any testing coming up/any recent results?
none for sure
GTKY: What's one movie you can watch over and over again no matter how many times you've seen it?
pride and predjudice BBC, super troopers, step Brothers.
@nomangos23 , I am sorry for your loss and dealing with confirmation ultrasound. As to answer your question, i tried to focus in getting healthy to deal with my losses. I need something to focus my mind on. I also listen to depresidep music, which actually seems to help.
@sparklingdiamond @nomangos23, those groups can help and hurt imo. I was on one for molar pregnancy, and had to unjoin for a few months because I could not take it. My first loss was fetal hydrops, it is awful because it seems like it comes out of nowhere.