PSA: Postpartum Mental Health

jengibre_zorro · May 2018

I'm part of a local moms group on facebook, and this is currently a major discussion point because of a new movie (description in spoiler)

I won't go into details, because i'm sure some of us would like to go see this, but a major theme in the upcoming movie Tully is PPD and PPP (postpartum psychosis).

I thought it would be nice to have a safe space to discuss any postpartum mental health issue, including postpartum depression, postpartum anxiety, postpartum OCD, and postpartum psychosis. I'm sure some of us have had personal experience with one or more of these, and can share stories, realizations, successes, fears, warning signs, resources, and words of encouragement.

sammierose464 · May 2018

This is going to sound a little picky...are we able to change thread titles and could we make this "Mental Health" and not "Mental Illness"?

jengibre_zorro · May 2018

Full Disclosure: I have never suffered from a postpartum mental illness. I have plenty of year-round mental illness, but was fortunate to not have any complications postpartum. I was flagged as high risk, and my OB did monitor me closely, so maybe that helped?

My cousin gave birth a month after me, and we talked nonstop since we were both first-time moms. Almost everyday she would tell me how easy her baby was, how he slept awesome, ate awesome, etc, while i was your average struggling new mom. About 4 months in though, i talked to her husband and he said it was all a sham, and she was having major problems but thought it wasn't something you talk about, and eventually was diagnosed with severe PPD and needed medication to pull herself out of it. I always felt super guilty for being so easily fooled, and was angry at myself for not like, visiting her more, or making a bigger effort. I'm just thankful she did eventually get help and now two years later is back to being herself. I guess this is my anecdote to say that things aren't always as they seem, and don't be afraid to tell friends and family that things suck.

jengibre_zorro · May 2018

@sammierose464 - of course, thank you for the suggestion!

cdepperschmidt · May 2018

So my family had a history of mental health issues. My dad had a sister with bi-polar disorder, my mom and her siblings all suffer from anxiety, my dad suffers from depression, my sisters both suffer from anxiety. Before DS I considered myself to be the “lucky one” who didn’t get the “family disease”.

After DS was born things went well for the first couple of months. I had some anxiety, especially about SIDS, but I just assumed it was normal and maybe it was. But when I went back to work shit started to fall apart. My second week back at work DS ended up in the PICU with RSV for 5 days. After that I just slowly started to unravel. Basically everything was a threat that was going to either kill me and leave my son without a mother or take my son from me. I basically let this unraveling take place until DS was like 8 months. Then I started having intrusive thoughts. At that point I saw my PCP who wrote me a referral to a counselor. At 8 months PP I finally saw a counselor, at 9 months PP I went to my OB for some meds and at 1 yr I finally saw psychiatrist. I’ve been seeing a counselor for almost 2 years and a psychiatrist for 18 months. It took me three meds to find my fit. Through my treatment journey I’ve learned that I probably had GAD before and that the life changes of being a Mom made it so the coping mechanisms I used before were no longer effective. As of now I’ve have learned to accept my anxiety disorder and the fact that right now I need meds and counseling. I’m hoping that when this baby gets a little older, after I’m done nursing and My hormones have settled I can begin to wean off my Zoloft very slowly, but for now this is what I need to be happy and healthy.

In hindsight, my fear of being labeled with an anxiety disorder kept me from seeking treatment earlier. Also, I used to have a superwomen, I can do it myself attitude and never asked for help when DS was an infant, which put too much stress on me. Not to mention, I sleep deprived myself in interest of having a clean house, which was just dumb. Im
now much happier being honest about my anxiety, asking for help, SAYING NO, and having a messy house.

ETA: Re: Tully. Please know, that movie miss labeled postpartum psychosis as PPD. PPP is a mental health emergency. If you have thoughts of harming yourself or your kids, or you are having hallucinations please seek help!

purplegoldfish2 · May 2018

I have a friend that had PPP. I feel like it is important for people to realize that women with PPD don’t kill their babies, but women with PPP do and need help before it gets to that point. She had family there that recognized something wasn’t right and got her help before it got really bad, but like @cdepperschmidt said, it is an emergency.

PPP is linked to bipolar. If you or a family member is bipolar (diagnosed or not) you are at higher risk of PPP. That isn’t to say you will get it if bipolar is in your family or you definitely won’t if it isn’t, but knowing if you have an increased risk is important.

sammierose464 · May 2018

I'm really nervous about having PPD. I'm worried I will feel tired and unmotivated and struggle to care for this baby. I know I'll be an amazing mom, but I'm scared of what my depression will do. That's one reason I was adamant about staying on my anti depressants.

DH told me he's worried that I'll be frustrated about the weight I gain, struggle to lose it, and that it will increase my unhappiness. Which are all valid thoughts and concerns.

DunkinDecaf · May 2018

@sammierose464 you’re going to do great. Going into the postpartum phase knowing what to look for is a huge advantage. If your depression kicks up after delivery or starts to progress into PPD/PPA, you’ll be able to see someone and adjust immediately. The “I don’t need help, I don’t want to talk about mental health issues” thing took me until my second kid/second round with PPD/PPA, and going through it untreated the first time was miserable. Making the phone call is such a huge first step, and it sounds like it shouldn’t be that hard for you. As for the weight gain, I’d definitely mention that to your provider next time you see them. Some drugs are better than others with that, and hopefully they can guide you towards one that will work better for you. Also, you’ll have us! I’m sure you won’t be the only one dealing with postpartum weight issues (if, indeed that becomes an issue for you). In my last BMB we have a fitness group that’s really helped me.

HoosOnFirst · May 2018

I am worried about ppd/ppa too but as the prior poster said, I’m feeling much more confident I and my Dh would recognize it this time based on earlier experience.

SweetSweetTooth · May 2018

I know I can Google it but does anyone have a good website for signs to look for? I am a first time mom but my biological father we think is bipolar. I would like to know what to look for (and my DH to know) for both ppd/ppa.

purplegoldfish2 · May 2018

@SweetSweetTooth PPP is the one linked to bipolar. My friend was hallucinating. She would talk to her dead relatives or her living relatives that were not in the house but she’d insist they were there in the room with her (despite an actual living person telling her they weren’t there). She didn’t talk about harming herself or the baby, but those are also signs. If you have those kinds of thoughts, you need to tell someone.

If you do show signs of PPP, going to a psychiatric hospital if there’s one near you is better than going to a regular ER. The friend’s husband’s friend is a dr and the one that told them to take her to the hospital, and he said specifically the psychiatric hospital.

edit spelling

tropical1982 · May 2018

When not pregnant or bf I'm on medication for ADHD. It's been linked to higher cases of PPD/PPA so I did a lot of research before my first son. I did do placenta encapsulation after both kids (chose to not do raw). I managed to not suffer from PPD/PPA either time, not sure if the pills worked or not but I'll be doing the same this time around. Of course always be aware of the possibility and know to reach out. Do not wait until you 6 week PP appt if you need help sooner.

jengibre_zorro · May 2018

@SweetSweetTooth - i know there are checklists online for symptoms, but a lot of times i think symptoms aren't so clearly obvious. One way my midwife broke it down for me was the impact the symptoms had on everyday life. (i.e random bouts of tears the first few weeks: normal. Feeling the urge to cry all day: not normal. Sleeping 2 hours a night because baby just wants to eat: normal. Sleeping 2 hours a night because you are worried whether or not baby is breathing: not normal. Feeling like you have no clue what you are doing: normal. Feeling like you've made a mistake or are failing: not normal) This is in no way all inclusive, but it helped me understand that PPD/PPA isn't the same as textbook depression we are more familiar with. Any feeling that is standing in the way of you being the best you should be brought up with your doctor early. And, i would mention your concerns of family history to your current OB now so they can take extra care in monitoring you in those weeks after birth. Early intervention is so important for proper diagnosis & treatment!

cdepperschmidt · May 2018

I think it’s also important to have a conversation with your partner before the birth. Actually, sooner rather than later, I’ve read that in some people symptoms show before the birth. Address both your concerns and what support you need from your partner.

lest12 · May 2018

I have and take medication for anxiety on a normal basis, but it is definitely exacerbated during pregnancy. I've also had PPD with both previous kids.

I think the thing that helps me most, as silly or maybe confusing as it might sound, is to constantly tell myself that it isn't normal to feel this way, and that I don't HAVE to feel this way. Sometimes when I'm in a high anxiety state or feeling really depressed, it is really easy for me to fall into that mindset of "I deserve to feel bad", or that I SHOULD feel anxious because XYZ and THE SKY IS ACTUALLY FALLING (when it isn't). I have to keep constantly pushing through and forcing myself to take care of myself, you know? I have to say to myself, this isn't normal, I don't have to suffer... I can talk to my husband, I can talk to my dr, I can take safe medicine, and I can do things to feel better.

And my husband knows to push me too, and honestly, so does my doctor, which is amazing and helps so much, but it starts with me.

I don't know if that will help or resonate with anyone here, but hopefully it at least makes sense.

lest12 · May 2018

@sammierose464 - Having a weight loss plan and visualizing weight loss REALLY helped me with my second baby (DD). After my firstborn (DS), I was in such shock over a crappy l&d experience and recovering from the C-section and what the hell am I supposed to do with a newborn, etc, that I couldn't even think about losing weight and it really bummed me out for a while.

When I was pregnant with DD, and even now with this baby, I started to get excited about losing weight and getting back into shape. Like, as hard as it has been to see the scale creep up, I just think, OK, I'm sacrificing for a few more months and then I am going to own weight loss after this baby. And I would have a plan for dieting and exercising and using my fitbit and myfitnesspal and I just got excited about it. I actually gained 10 pounds more than pre-pregnancy weight. Try to keep yourself psyched up and prepared for it, instead of it being depressing with #2 it actually turned into something that made me feel really good about myself.

Hope this is helpful and not preachy

sliztee · May 2018

@lest12 YES to speaking your anxiety/shame! Every time I talk about what’s paralyzing my brain, it subsides a little more. It’s when I keep it in that I’m a danger to myself.

lest12 · May 2018

@sliztee - Yes, absolutely!

BrittanyCupcakes · May 2018

I have battled depression on and off my entire life. Things got pretty dark after my daughter was born. I took too long to bring it up with my OB, and at that point, he didn't feel comfortable treating it as post partum. So I stayed quiet even longer, and eventually sought out therapy and medication almost a year after my daughter was born.

I was on and off a few different meds, found one that worked really well for me, and eventually weaned off a few months before getting pregnant. This time around, I am being open about it. My life would have been a lot easier if I had spoken up sooner. I didn't have to suffer so long. It affected my bond with my daughter, and our relationship is still recovering. It put a lot of stress on my marriage. And I was hurting so much.

I talk about my mental health challenges pretty openly now. They have less power over me if I can be open about them.

ninji15 · May 2018

This is long but I have never spoke to anyone about it so I have a lot to say lol. I have a lot of anxiety as I am sure it comes off in my posts. I am always worse when I am pregnant it seems, like now I am going through anxiety and depression issues I thought were squared away now that DD is almost 2. I don't know if PPA/PPD is possible before postpartum though. *TW some darker thoughts mentioned* After I had DD I had nothing but nightmares of horrible things happening to my family and family members and since I also lost both grandfathers within that year, death was also on my mind a lot. I had a lot of anxiety about working not just because I missed my baby (and holy shit I did miss her so much) but because I had it in my mind I wouldn't be there if something horrible happened. I was afraid to let DH out of the house because I was sure he would get in a horrible wreck. The list goes on. Some of it might have been normal but I feel like it was extreme even for me.

I am showing signs I think already by worrying about DD in ways I don't think I would have before this pregnancy. I don't want her under trees because of falling tree branches, I am worrying about food I know she can eat well but I keep thinking she will choke, and I want to make sure I have multiple back up plans for ridiculous things that never would have occurred to me. I am worrying about things happening to her at the sitters again (and she has the best sitter, its stuff that can happen anywhere). And of course I freak out over this pregnancy too. Preterm labor, illnesses that can affect the baby, freak accidents. Things that should be in the back of someones mind as "could happen but probably won't" and in my mind its "its going to happen how do I prevent it".

I never got help the first time around because its "normal" for me to always be worried about something, but I didn't notice it was affecting how I functioned and it put a big stress on my marriage because my husband treated my anxiety as dislike for him or something, he never stopped to really asses my behavior and I almost wish he would have. I am going to try to talk about different things to try this time around. I want to be in the more normalized range or worry I think.

cdepperschmidt · May 2018

@lest12 @sliztee I totally agree. Once I tell my anxiety over an issue that it isn’t a threat and it will not hurt me, it calms down.

@ninji15 I can relate to a lot your story, mine has a lot of similarities. Is it possible that all of the things that you thought were squared away were actually just suppressed and are coming out again with the situation being similar.

coffee-saur · May 2018

Here's my story.
After DS was born, I was a mess. I couldn't function, I would out and out sob over weird things and was really hard to live with. Breast feeding was not going well at all and I'd try to push through and make it work and DS was not having it. I let it go on until my 6 week appt, and H really wanted me to talk to the Dr about it, so I resolved I'd try. They put me on Zoloft, and it made a world of difference! Both DH and I said I should've been on it long time ago.
It was really tough for me to do anything, because I had it in my mind from growing up, that you had to be really sick before you needed medicine for anything. I talked to my siblings about it, I was pretty sure some of them struggled with depression too and it does run in the family (pretty sure my dad is bipolar with other mental problems).
I told them, and want others to know, medication does not magically make your problems go away! Your problems will still be there, still need solving, but you will be able to cope, and able to deal with problems.
Your hormones will go bonkers right after baby is born, but it should slowly get better, not worse. So if it keeps getting worse, please talk to your Dr!
Hope this will maybe help someone when they need it!

HoosOnFirst · May 2018

I think others mentioned this, but even though my diagnosis was PPD and PPA, it became clear that I probably always had untreated depression and anxiety but having an infant is what pushed it into a visible place. I didn’t even get diagnosed until dd was 8 months old. I kept filling out all the PPD forms they name you do at the pediatrician the whole time and expected to get “called out” and never did. Only once I had a panic attack driving and almost crashed my car did I decide to see a professional. Dh is incredibly supportive of therapy and psychiatrists and my family has a history of depression and anxiety and even STILL I couldn’t see it until it was way too far in. I felt better able to cope on lexapro but I gained weight, which actually made me feel bad, and Dh later told me I had less of an affect and maybe ignored issues TOO much. I went off after a year and did some cognitive behavioral therapy and now am doing ok, but I have no qualms using medicine again if things get rough again with LO.

KFrob · May 2018

I didn't have PPD until around 6 or 7 months and I think some stuff going on with my work schedule and DH is what pushed me there on top of feeling like I lost myself. I didn't even realize what was happening or see the symptoms in myself until things came to a head around 9/10 months when DH and I had a big fight when he told me he didn't know who I was anymore and that his wife was gone. My heart broke. I started to think that my family would be better off without me. I realized that I wasn't practicing self care and I spent almost no time with DH bc of our insane work schedules. Once I talked to a therapist, got motivated and changed jobs which in turn made time with DH possible and relieved a bunch of financial stress everything changed and I felt like I was back to myself. I could have answered all the questions on the doctor's questionnaire perfectly. I've voiced to DH that I'm nervous that it will happen again. I think it's really important to make sure your partner or a family member or friend knows what to look for since sometimes you don't see if yourself.

purplegoldfish2 · July 2018

Bump

melbo444 · July 2018

I missed this thread the first time, but +1 to trying cognitive behaviour therapy for relieving anxiety. I went through some of it last year (and then unfortunately, my work schedule changed and I was in an HMO group where specialists only saw patients one day per week, so rescheduling anything was always a disaster) and although some of the exercises seemed hokey, it really made a difference for me. Voicing exactly what my concerns are and then creating a logical argument against those concerns is a strategy that I continue to use. I love traveling (the being other places part), but I have become steadily more and more anxious about planes over the past two decades. I came up with kind of a mantra to repeat to myself while flying, and I've done really well over the past year when I've flown, even once I got pregnant and couldn't take a mild anxiety pill anymore.

rabtaido1214 · July 2018

I’ve always been an anxious person but that’s my “normal”. I have had situational issues (major life decisions/events) with my anxiety in the past leading me to take medication. I was worried I’d be a mess during pregnancy with all the unknown, but I’ve done fairly well, better than I would have thought. I am worried about PPD and PPA though. I already start to stress and get teary sometimes thinking about how I’ll be able to handle taking care of a newborn, plus usual dog duties, for 8+ hours when he goes back to work after birth. My husband doesn’t really understand my anxiety, it just frustrates him when I’m in a bad place with anxiety. His coping mechanisms are so opposite. He doesn’t think about things that cause him anxiety and I get hung up on them and frustrated. Hopefully it goes well.

cjx95 · July 2018

I didnt see this before either.. I think it's amazing so many of you were willing to share your stories and experiences. Taking the birth class yesterday she very briefly went over ppd/ppa and ppp and gave us a booklet. I feel like it could have been touched on more but I'm glad that I have this forum to go back to as well in case I feel off or like something isnt right.

tlmill · July 2018

I had PPD with DS. I had also struggled with depression for years before becoming a mom, but for some reason I couldn't cope after I had my 2nd. I already knew my personal signs of sinking back into depression from being depressed before (not wanting to get out of bed, having zero patience, loss of appetite, random and frequent crying spells) but the biggest red flag for me was that I honestly didn't like my baby (please try not to judge me for that). I would just look at him and think "why on earth did we decide to have a second child?" Granted, there were other events that compounded my PPD and really sent me into what felt like a downward spiral (he was colicky, we struggled with BFing, I started a new job after not working for 2.5 years, I lost my dad after I had to make the decision to withdraw care following multiple strokes and a heart attack), but all-around, I just felt like I couldn't cope. I felt like I wasn't good enough for anyone or anything, and I just wanted to escape.

I recommend letting your OB know if you have a personal or family history of depression, anxiety, bipolar. It helps them to assess your mental and emotional status after delivery and to help you if you need it.

ETA: And please don’t feel like you’re a bad mom if you’re struggling. It isn’t easy for everyone and it’s so important to try to get help if you think something is wrong.

cdepperschmidt · July 2018

@chopchop25 in regards to your question in the other thread. I think it’s hard to recognize mental health issues in yourself. I know I didn’t recognize my PPA/PPD until it got really bad. I may have mentioned earlier in this thread, but my mental health was great post birth. Then when DS was 9 weeks I went back to work on Monday and he was admitted to the hospital on Friday with RSV. That was my trigger and then it just gradually got worse. I didn’t realize it was a real issue until I started having intrusive thoughts. I strongly suggest talking to your partner now about your concerns. We never did and I think if we had I would have gotten help sooner.

HoosOnFirst · July 2018

It took 8 months for me to be diagnosed as well. Symptoms were irritability (not typical levels, like EXTREME), and feeling panic any time my kid ate (she had bad reflux) or Dh didn’t get home exactly on time from work. Like, feeling like I could not make it until he got home. And for the first 3 months, wondering if I had made the right decision. Full disclosure, newborns can’t really respond to give you positive reinforcement for keeping them alive, so I really struggled feeling like just a machine and never getting any “reward” for everything we were doing. I don’t know if that makes any sense.

missmaehurt · July 2018

I developed both PPD/PPA after DD, but would say it was more heavily the anxiety that I noticed. I was hell bent on BFing and was constantly freaking out that she wasn’t getting enough. It didn’t help that she wasn’t on any growth charts so we had to do weighed feeds with the LC all the time. She didn’t hit 1% for weight until 10 months and DH and I literally high fived! When I went back to work it only amplified my anxiety because I wasn’t getting to pump on a regular schedule and even though my dad was watching her, he had his own ideas of how a baby should be taken care of (didn’t understand pace feeding or the logic of over feeding). I ended up quitting my job 3 months later and then went back when just after her first birthday.

I was on medication that seemed to help, but stopped taking it when I found out I was pregnant again since the things I found said it wasn’t safe during pregnancy. There are times when I can feel that lump in my throat again, then I get overwhelmed and moody. I’m sure I will get back on the meds once I have the twins, but I at least know what signs to see in myself so I can ask for that help.

missusmeeseeks · July 2018

Half the battle is knowing what to look for. Mine struck at 7 months when my baby suddenly stopped nursing and i let it go until i was suicidal. It's easier said than done, but try to cross that bridge if you get to it. If you wind up struggling, there are so many resources out there-support groups, individual therapy, medications if you're open to them, etc.

chopchop25 · July 2018

Thanks for remembering we had this @purplegoldfish2! Lots to come back and read later today!

nasalot188 · July 2018

I also experienced PP anxiety, but I struggle(d) with anxiety before kids too so I was expecting it.

Mine hit really bad at 1 month PP. Reality hit and I was a mess. The big clue for me was that I wasn't sleeping. Even when the opportunity presented itself...i couldn't sleep. I was so anxious and all I could think about was my anxiety and how it was taking over.

Went to doc, got back on meds and was much much better after a couple weeks.

Anxiety is no joke. You need sleep, even if you aren't getting much of it.

HoosOnFirst · July 2018

And for me it was the opposite: all I did was sleep because it was like “let’s just get through this maternity leave faster”. Oy. It hurts to even write that out loud. Essentially any bad sleep behavior - too much or too little - can be a big sign.

cdepperschmidt · July 2018

I agree with @nasalot188 sleep is so important! Even now with my anxiety under control if I sleep poorly for a few days I noticed a higher level of anxiety.

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