I figured I would go ahead and get this started since there are a few of us here now. I went ahead and borrowed this from one of the previous BMBs as a jumping off point. We can go through and pick what we will and won't use to meet our needs, but for now, this is a good template. That being said - welcome to the March 2019 BMB! If you're new to TB, we're excited to have you! Below you will find information on how the flow of BMBs work, guidelines and helpful links.
How-To Guides: -How to quote: Hit the "quote" at the bottom of the post you want to quote. You will be taken to the reply box with the quote set up already. -How to tag: Add an "@" in front of the username of the person you are talking to. -How to change your username: log in to TheKnot, hover over My Knot, and click Account Settings. Be sure to log out and log back in after changing your username. If you are having issues doing it that way, you can email community@thebump.com and ask them to change your username. Give them a few suggestions just in case your top choice is taken. It may take up to 24 hours for the name to update. -How to insert a spoiler box: click the drop down list arrow next to the paragraph symbol (sixth from the left, next to the emoji button) and choose spoiler. It will insert a grey box, and everything that you type in there will go into the spoiler.
For the sake of board organization, here are some simple guidelines for posting threads: DO: -Introduce yourself in the "Introductions" thread -Add yourself to the spreadsheet -Feel free to start one of the weekly posts listed below if you don't see it started yet -Check to see if a thread has already been started on your topic or question so we can avoid too many threads of the same topic -Post a thread that would apply to the entire community and doesn't fall into one of the categories for daily threads listed below (Ex: what to pack in your hospital bag, baby gear, etc) -Comment, share advice and show support for your fellow bumpies; this is a two-way street, to get support, you must show it as well
DON'T: -Ask the community if you are pregnant, it is against TOU -Post pictures of your pregnancy test, this is also against TOU (there is a thread on the open 1st tri page for this) -Post a thread that asks a question only applying to yourself unless you suspect you may be going through a MC -Get bent out of shape if someone calls you out for not following these guidelines; if you expect to be part of a supportive board (which we are), you need to be able to take the time to learn the ins and outs of the board.
Here are some weekly/monthly ideas that may be good to start with. We can always add to best suit our boards needs, so please let me know if you have any other ideas! Per this BMB's decision, anyone can start any thread on the day.
** MONDAY Weekly Randoms Monday Ticker Change
**TUESDAY Ten Things Tuesday Tuesday Ticker Change
Once we all get farther along, we will also have pinned threads for things like ultrasounds, sex announcements and birth announcements. I've copy/pasted this from previous boards, and it seems to be the way that they are all organized, but of course we should feel free to tweak for our needs! For example, some boards do weekly ticker changes while others do weekly due date check-ins (ex, DD 1st week of Nov.). If anyone has a suggestion for other threads, please feel free to comment a suggestion. PLEASE keep in mind that there will eventually be a lot of us on this board, and an organized board will be much easier for everyone to use. If we can all keep the one-off posts to a minimum the board won't be too cluttered to navigate, and hopefully we won't end up answering the same question 2,000 times. I had a great experience with my first BMB and the organization goes a long way as the group grows. Let's have a great BMB ladies!
I'm pro some organization, but would really like it if we could also develop on our own what works. Personally, I'm a fan of having individual threads for some of the bigger symptoms like morning sickness. It's much easier to go through one specific thread with all the discussion on something when you're struggling with that rather than dig through pages and pages of a big symptoms thread to find the things that pertain to that one symptom. I'd love to see a symptoms thread for the less common symptoms and individual threads for morning sickness and perhaps aches and pains and maybe one or two others. I also find that things tend to get lost in the bigger threads. Additionally, for people like me who live on the West Coast/Alaska, the threads are often going and discussion moving and pages in by the time I'm awake and posting. And it's hard to drag the convo back to something I want to talk about that was already discussed further back. I like a little slower moving specific threads rather than big catch-alls.
I also would like if we could add some more positive threads to the regular weekly threads. I notice on a lot of the boards there are so many negative/complainy threads, one for almost every day (b-fest Monday, TW Tuesday, crying, WTF Wednesday) along with neutral threads and very few, if any, positive and happy threads. Maybe we could add a Terrific Tuesday, Thankful Thursday, and Friday Fun-day to the mix? I would be happy to start them.
I am so with you on this! Love the more positive threads idea. We shouldn’t feel obligated to do what everyone else does.
Reading all those rules kind of made me want to bang my head on the wall. I have been through these boards once before with my first baby, and I just feel all these tight rules that every other month board uses takes away from our own induviduality. It also makes it easier for people to constantly make mistakes, therefor having situations where new members are constantly being called out, and threads deleated and frankly... a lot of the threads I see deleated I wanted to read and coment on! And you are right... those mega threads make it impossible to ask for advice. If someone is suffering from morning sickness why can’t they put up a post asking for advice about it? I want to help them, and I want to talk to others going through the same thing. A lis of everyones symptoms is just depressing, and if everyone is comenting in one post about ten different symptoms some peoples will get lost.
I also don’t know why people can’t ask for relationship advice. Sounds really cold to tell them to take it else where. Why can’t we be a community that helps and supports one another? People are going to be dealing with crazy mother in laws insisting they be there for delivery etc. They need help and advice!
ANd then a lot of those daily threads... do we even want them? Or do they keep getting put up because every other board is doing it? They end up blocking out the most interesting threads which are the ones people post as induviduals.
those are my thoughts at least... I have more but will let others speak
I also would prefer if we didn't follow other board's formats for product spotlight stuff. I like the idea of the spotlight, but a lot of the other boards start off with a question format of "what item are you interested in? Link? Photo? Cost? Pros and cons?" But with most things, I'm not necessarily looking at one item. Maybe I'm talking generally about what I'd like in a stroller, but I don't have a specific one in mind. Or maybe I'm considering three different ones. That gets to be a really long post if all those questions are filled out for three different strollers. I prefer a format like what I posted with the maternity clothes with just a few questions to help stimulate the discussion.
onechoctawgirl Completely agree about there being a lot of rules and it would be great if we can find a way to sort of carve out our own community here. With that said, there will be a lot of members at some point so I do think it's important to have some sort of organization and rules will definitely help create that.
Regarding relationship advice- I guess I didn't know that was a "rule". I remember plenty of relationship conversation on my last BMB. I definitely agree that maybe that rule could be worded differently because there will certainly be a need for advice like the example you pointed out. I get the feeling that that rule was created for really serious matters.
Personally, I like some of the daily threads, like the ticker change. I thought that one was good because with such a large community, it helps to break it down a bit more.I found that I got to know the women on my "ticker change" a bit more. But, there's definitely a lot threads so it does seem like a bit much. Maybe we could combine some of them or make them more of a weekly thing?
I love the idea of more positive threads! I actually deleted even some of the more negative ones from this because it seemed like there were just way too many. I'm happy to add any that we come up with.
I do think we will need some sort of organized structure moving forward or it can quickly descend into chaos. I think politely guiding people in the right direction is better than everyone jumping on someone who doesn't follow the "rules" (FYI, I also see rules as guidelines here, not actual rules). I think we can definitely work on our own structure and find our own rhythm, I just think there should be an organized structure of some kind.
I like the ticker change too because you start to get to know people better through those.
I also totally missed the relationship advice one. I can remove that. I remember lots of that from my last BMB and it was really helpful to get an external opinion.
Before I go ahead and just start making edits, what do we think about trimming down the thread list like this? I think this keeps the basic ones and then we can add as the group comes up with ones we think are relevant.
** MONDAY Weekly Randoms Monday Ticker Change
**TUESDAY Ten Things Tuesday Tuesday Ticker Change
Sorry for all the posts! How do we feel about assigned threads? Personally I hate them because it feels like there is certain ownership over things when really we're all equals here and there's no hierarchy. I'm happy to go with the group, but my vote would be that anyone can start any of these threads whenever it's time.
I think fewer threads like that is better. Also, I say add back in UO! I do like that one. It's a lot of fun.
I say nay to assigned threads. Some people will no doubt come and go, sadly, due to loss. And some people will just drop away.
And then with me, I live in Alaska and people may want to get posting before I'm even awake! So I'll post threads if they're not up yet, but if I'm assigned something, people might get impatient waiting and think I forgot because I will only just be starting to think about logging on when it's already noon on the East Coast.
Before I go ahead and just start making edits, what do we think about trimming down the thread list like this? I think this keeps the basic ones and then we can add as the group comes up with ones we think are relevant.
** MONDAY Weekly Randoms Monday Ticker Change
**TUESDAY Ten Things Tuesday Tuesday Ticker Change
Ok I like the cut down. Definitly like taking out the “no relationship advice” rule. I think if someone is dealing with something they should talk to a pro about that would be part of the good advice given to them.
But what is weekly randoms anyway, and why does it need two days?
Also... the weekly symptom thread. Is that a place for women to list symptoms? Or to ask for advice? Because if it isn’t very advice friendly it seems it shouldn’t be a rule that we can’t start a thread to ask about a specific symptom.
@lovesclimbing we had Thankful Thursday on my last BMB and although it wasn't the most popular post, it was a nice reminder to feel gratitude for this experience at times when its easy to feel otherwise.
I agree that some organization is necessary. It'll get crazy as times goes on during our pregnancies. Some many random drive bys that are good for a laugh - but they can overwhelm the boards. I don’t love the assigned threads but it looks like most people agree.
Agree that there needs to be organization. Things will go off the rails fast if everyone posts whatever. These groups get huge!
@onechoctawgirl Weekly randoms is where people can talk about whatever - home, work, family. It's nice to have a thread for people to share stuff that isn't always baby related. I think it probably got on there twice accidentally.
But jumping off that Q - what is ten things Tuesday? I can't remember if we had that in my last BMB and I'm coming up blank on what it would be.
I agree some organization is needed... but I keep thinking of this other birth month boad I was on for a wile before I had a miscarriage. Each day the first page was taken up by all these assigned threads, and it seemed any time a mom dared to post an original thread she was quickly jumped on and told there was a special thread for that, and she needed to go post it there... and it got to the point where there was just no way for anyone to start a topic on their own. I just don’t want to see it get to the point where no one can start their own thread because there is a generic covering for it already you know? I am not sure if I am explaining this correctly.
@onechoctawgirl I think I know what you mean. I really hope we can be a board that is supportive of people instead of shaming them into not asking their questions. I think the people that are around regularly will get it and the goal of the "rules" is more for the people who come in to ask one question and never come back again. We'll definitely have some of those, but if we can minimize them that would be great. They just cause so much clutter with people who don't want to be invested in the board.
Also, in my past BMB we used to do a weekday randoms and then start a new one for the weekend because it was super long by Friday. It's a great way to just talk about everything else in your life and get to know everyone. My first BMB still has a randoms constantly going in our group.
@thedaint87 Ten Things Tuesday is where everyone lists ten things about you or your life. I've seen it done where there's a theme like "Ten Things You Want to Do Before Your Next Birthday" or something like that. Other times it's just 10 random things about what's going on in your life right now. Usually they tend to be pretty positive and a good way to get to know each other.
Since we're still a pretty small group, do we want to wait to make any big changes to the list until we get a few more people here or do we like the idea of slimming it down now and building it up as people join and have ideas? I want to be sensitive to the fact that a lot of people who will be joining the group aren't here yet.
@onechoctawgirl I think I know what you mean. I really hope we can be a board that is supportive of people instead of shaming them into not asking their questions. I think the people that are around regularly will get it and the goal of the "rules" is more for the people who come in to ask one question and never come back again. We'll definitely have some of those, but if we can minimize them that would be great. They just cause so much clutter with people who don't want to be invested in the board.
>snip<
This is where I'm at. I'm pro some organization, but don't want it to an extreme. And I see it mainly to discourage people who post one thread and never come back or ask if they're pregnant or say "I'm having morning sickness, anyone else?" when there's already one or multiple MS threads and they didn't bother to look.
On my last BMB, someone started a thread on cholestasis. For those who haven't heard of it (I had never heard the term until a close friend of mine was diagnosed with it), it's a potentially fatal to the baby condition that can develop in late pregnancy, and women with it are induced at 37 weeks due to the potential for death. And someone said that it should go in the symptoms thread. It's not a symptom! At least, it's not anymore of a symptom than Gestational Diabetes is, and that gets its own thread! And I'd argue it's MORE important for cholestasis to have its own thread because everyone's heard of GD and is aware of that. My friend who had it had never heard of it until she commented that her hands were itchy to her doc.
So yea, I really don't want us to get to that level of policing.
@brookepdavis Got it! Sounds like a good one to keep around to help with getting to know each other better.
@lovesclimbing oh yeah, that is a bit much. I think big topics like that can and should be their own thread. The symptoms thread should be for the regular aches and pains of pregnancy, not potentially life-threatening issues.
I think being more strict with the rules at the beginning allows us to get more loose as the group settles in. As we move along there will be more situations that necessitate their own threads and that's totally fine! Just don't want to start out with a ton of clutter and drive-bys.
Could we have a thread that is .... today I am grateful for... ? I think it would be a positive one, even if it’s something small like tums for heart burn.
We have two sleeping beauties in heaven. Jack gained his wings on 09/02/2016. Kali gained her wings on 07/28/2015. They will be forever missed.
What if I wanted to ask a question about progesterone supplements? Would that be considered a new topic or would I put that under pgal or something? I never really posted with my DD because I never wanted to get yelled at!
What do you all think of starting off this week with @brookepdavis ‘s slimmed down board schedule and adding threads as we see fit/the group takes shape? If it’s OK with everyone, I can get the Monday Ticker Change started and maybe someone else can get the Weekly Randoms (I’ve yet to learn how to gif )?
Wow, there are many kind-hearted sensible ladies on this board, I love it! I love the idea of weekly positive threads. This place sometimes feels like one big B*-fest on other boards I've seen. No one should be made to feel too afraid of ridicule to post a question, that is beyond ridiculous.
Just got a chance to read through everything and I love this BMB already. I’ve been lurking them all lately and the rules out the wazzo and assigned threads drive me nuts and make me feel like there are queen bees. I want this to be a place where anyone feels welcome to start community threads without stepping on toes!
I am so with you on this! Love the more positive threads idea. We shouldn’t feel obligated to do what everyone else does.
Reading all those rules kind of made me want to bang my head on the wall. I have been through these boards once before with my first baby, and I just feel all these tight rules that every other month board uses takes away from our own induviduality. It also makes it easier for people to constantly make mistakes, therefor having situations where new members are constantly being called out, and threads deleated and frankly... a lot of the threads I see deleated I wanted to read and coment on! And you are right... those mega threads make it impossible to ask for advice. If someone is suffering from morning sickness why can’t they put up a post asking for advice about it? I want to help them, and I want to talk to others going through the same thing. A lis of everyones symptoms is just depressing, and if everyone is comenting in one post about ten different symptoms some peoples will get lost.
I also don’t know why people can’t ask for relationship advice. Sounds really cold to tell them to take it else where. Why can’t we be a community that helps and supports one another? People are going to be dealing with crazy mother in laws insisting they be there for delivery etc. They need help and advice!
ANd then a lot of those daily threads... do we even want them? Or do they keep getting put up because every other board is doing it? They end up blocking out the most interesting threads which are the ones people post as induviduals.
those are my thoughts at least... I have more but will let others speak
I agree with so much of this. Would love to see the board be a more personal space. I also like the idea of more specific threads so responses don't get lost.
Any thoughts/opinions on a weekly questions/help thread?
It might be my Bump past, but I’d like to see it so there aren’t so many one-off “help me” threads being posted by people who probably aren’t invested in our group.
I feel like as more are posted/being seen on the first thread page, it just invites more “strangers” to do the same thing, as it’s perceived as normal.
If I’m the only one who is bothered by this, I’ll go with the flow, of course.
@swanbrooner That seems like a reasonable solution. I agree with you that the one-off posts will probably increase if we don’t have a systematic approach. I want to encourage people to post and ask questions (and offer support/advise), but if we have too many drive-by posts, the community regulars will get fatigued. Thanks for bringing this up!
Re: *READ FIRST* Board Organization
I am so with you on this! Love the more positive threads idea. We shouldn’t feel obligated to do what everyone else does.
Reading all those rules kind of made me want to bang my head on the wall. I have been through these boards once before with my first baby, and I just feel all these tight rules that every other month board uses takes away from our own induviduality. It also makes it easier for people to constantly make mistakes, therefor having situations where new members are constantly being called out, and threads deleated and frankly... a lot of the threads I see deleated I wanted to read and coment on! And you are right... those mega threads make it impossible to ask for advice. If someone is suffering from morning sickness why can’t they put up a post asking for advice about it? I want to help them, and I want to talk to others going through the same thing. A lis of everyones symptoms is just depressing, and if everyone is comenting in one post about ten different symptoms some peoples will get lost.
I also don’t know why people can’t ask for relationship advice. Sounds really cold to tell them to take it else where. Why can’t we be a community that helps and supports one another? People are going to be dealing with crazy mother in laws insisting they be there for delivery etc. They need help and advice!
ANd then a lot of those daily threads... do we even want them? Or do they keep getting put up because every other board is doing it? They end up blocking out the most interesting threads which are the ones people post as induviduals.
those are my thoughts at least... I have more but will let others speak
Regarding relationship advice- I guess I didn't know that was a "rule". I remember plenty of relationship conversation on my last BMB. I definitely agree that maybe that rule could be worded differently because there will certainly be a need for advice like the example you pointed out. I get the feeling that that rule was created for really serious matters.
Personally, I like some of the daily threads, like the ticker change. I thought that one was good because with such a large community, it helps to break it down a bit more.I found that I got to know the women on my "ticker change" a bit more. But, there's definitely a lot threads so it does seem like a bit much. Maybe we could combine some of them or make them more of a weekly thing?
I do think we will need some sort of organized structure moving forward or it can quickly descend into chaos. I think politely guiding people in the right direction is better than everyone jumping on someone who doesn't follow the "rules" (FYI, I also see rules as guidelines here, not actual rules). I think we can definitely work on our own structure and find our own rhythm, I just think there should be an organized structure of some kind.
I like the ticker change too because you start to get to know people better through those.
I also totally missed the relationship advice one. I can remove that. I remember lots of that from my last BMB and it was really helpful to get an external opinion.
** MONDAY
Weekly Randoms
Monday Ticker Change
**TUESDAY
Ten Things Tuesday
Tuesday Ticker Change
**WEDNESDAY
HDBD (Hump Day, Bump Day)
PGAL Check-In
Wednesday Ticker Change
**THURSDAY
TTGP Grad Check-In
Thursday Ticker Change
**FRIDAY
Flame Free Friday Confession (FFFC)
Friday Ticker Change
**SATURDAY
Weekend Randoms
Saturday Ticker Change
**SUNDAY
Weekly Questions
Weekly symptoms Thread
Weekly appointments
Sunday Ticker Change
I say nay to assigned threads. Some people will no doubt come and go, sadly, due to loss. And some people will just drop away.
And then with me, I live in Alaska and people may want to get posting before I'm even awake! So I'll post threads if they're not up yet, but if I'm assigned something, people might get impatient waiting and think I forgot because I will only just be starting to think about logging on when it's already noon on the East Coast.
But what is weekly randoms anyway, and why does it need two days?
Also... the weekly symptom thread. Is that a place for women to list symptoms? Or to ask for advice? Because if it isn’t very advice friendly it seems it shouldn’t be a rule that we can’t start a thread to ask about a specific symptom.
I agree that some organization is necessary. It'll get crazy as times goes on during our pregnancies. Some many random drive bys that are good for a laugh - but they can overwhelm the boards. I don’t love the assigned threads but it looks like most people agree.
@onechoctawgirl Weekly randoms is where people can talk about whatever - home, work, family. It's nice to have a thread for people to share stuff that isn't always baby related. I think it probably got on there twice accidentally.
But jumping off that Q - what is ten things Tuesday? I can't remember if we had that in my last BMB and I'm coming up blank on what it would be.
Also, in my past BMB we used to do a weekday randoms and then start a new one for the weekend because it was super long by Friday. It's a great way to just talk about everything else in your life and get to know everyone. My first BMB still has a randoms constantly going in our group.
@thedaint87 Ten Things Tuesday is where everyone lists ten things about you or your life. I've seen it done where there's a theme like "Ten Things You Want to Do Before Your Next Birthday" or something like that. Other times it's just 10 random things about what's going on in your life right now. Usually they tend to be pretty positive and a good way to get to know each other.
@christac1010 and @lovesclimbing I like the idea of Thankful Thursday!
On my last BMB, someone started a thread on cholestasis. For those who haven't heard of it (I had never heard the term until a close friend of mine was diagnosed with it), it's a potentially fatal to the baby condition that can develop in late pregnancy, and women with it are induced at 37 weeks due to the potential for death. And someone said that it should go in the symptoms thread. It's not a symptom! At least, it's not anymore of a symptom than Gestational Diabetes is, and that gets its own thread! And I'd argue it's MORE important for cholestasis to have its own thread because everyone's heard of GD and is aware of that. My friend who had it had never heard of it until she commented that her hands were itchy to her doc.
So yea, I really don't want us to get to that level of policing.
@lovesclimbing oh yeah, that is a bit much. I think big topics like that can and should be their own thread. The symptoms thread should be for the regular aches and pains of pregnancy, not potentially life-threatening issues.
I think being more strict with the rules at the beginning allows us to get more loose as the group settles in. As we move along there will be more situations that necessitate their own threads and that's totally fine! Just don't want to start out with a ton of clutter and drive-bys.
Jack gained his wings on 09/02/2016.
Kali gained her wings on 07/28/2015.
They will be forever missed.
edit to clarify: Maybe not always weekly but just a place where we can gather and talk about common issues.
It might be my Bump past, but I’d like to see it so there aren’t so many one-off “help me” threads being posted by people who probably aren’t invested in our group.
I feel like as more are posted/being seen on the first thread page, it just invites more “strangers” to do the same thing, as it’s perceived as normal.
If I’m the only one who is bothered by this, I’ll go with the flow, of course.