UO/FFCF Mash-up Time Again! 6 21/22 - Page 2 — The Bump
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UO/FFCF Mash-up Time Again! 6 21/22

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Re: UO/FFCF Mash-up Time Again! 6 21/22

  • @stothi I was feeling rather hormonal last night so I was being kind of flippant. I'm really a big advocate of cultural sensitivity. I've just been frustrated by all the people trying to make themselves look better by attacking people for making a faux pas when the person's intent is obviously innocent.  There just needs to be more of a balance; a little common sense.
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    stothiPatience7150BusinessWife
  • EErin86EErin86 member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary Name Dropper
    @stothi yes I totally agree about the need to know where phrases come from. Some political debate news show thing was on and one guy used the phrase "are you out of your cotton picking mind" to a black man, supposedly unaware of the history of the phrase. I know I'm naive to many ways racism is presented but I try to not live under a rock
    nlc8424stothistarla
  • starlastarla member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    @Car0liiine I know what you mean. It was just an FYI in case it does offend someone and you didn't know why. I'm not one for being PC all the time, but I feel like that one is legitimately potentially offensive so I avoid it. It's not as bad as the "N" word obviously but I feel like it's just easier to not use "uppity" than risk upsetting someone. 
    Me: 34 | DH: 33
    Married Aug. 2013
    TTC #1 Sep. 2016
    ***TW***
    BFP Jan. 15, 2017; MMC Mar. 4, 2017 at 10w6d
    BFP Jun. 5, 2017; MMC Aug. 2, 2017 at 11w6d
    BFP Nov. 20, 2017; ended in CP
    All the tests. Everything normal except treated for ureaplasma and DH potentially has high DNAF.
    BFP Dec. 25, 2017; EDD Sep. 5, 2018; DD arrived Aug. 26th
    My chart: https://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/63f71d


  • *Not trying to argue with anyone, just sharing my personal thoughts and questions.*
    @starla I'm aware the word has been used this way in the past, but I'm against making it an off limits word. It seemed like the author of the linked article is almost pressing for more people to recognize the word as offensive when obviously that is not already the majority connotation.
    If the goal is for race to become less of a factor in categorizing/judging people, isn't it counterproductive to try and increase awareness of ways to potentially apply racism? Our children for instance will be born without prejudices; is it our responsibility to sit them down and teach them all the various ways to offend or hurt or discriminate against someone just to make sure they don't do it on accident? Is that healthy? Does it not introduce issues where there are none? How do you determined which things are obviously never okay (slurs for example) and which things are perhaps just obscure connotations? l'm not sure what the right answer is and as a parent I struggle with determining the right thing to do for my child and for society.
    (This can all be said for discrimination against any group.) 
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    EErin86
  • starlastarla member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    Well said, @stothi!
    @SkilledSailor I love it and will try to do the same. <3
    Me: 34 | DH: 33
    Married Aug. 2013
    TTC #1 Sep. 2016
    ***TW***
    BFP Jan. 15, 2017; MMC Mar. 4, 2017 at 10w6d
    BFP Jun. 5, 2017; MMC Aug. 2, 2017 at 11w6d
    BFP Nov. 20, 2017; ended in CP
    All the tests. Everything normal except treated for ureaplasma and DH potentially has high DNAF.
    BFP Dec. 25, 2017; EDD Sep. 5, 2018; DD arrived Aug. 26th
    My chart: https://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/63f71d


    stothiSkilledSailoradirat
  • starlastarla member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    @nackie Wow thanks for sharing (you, as well, @pourmeamocktail)! Can you give some examples? I'd like to be more aware of this as well.
    Me: 34 | DH: 33
    Married Aug. 2013
    TTC #1 Sep. 2016
    ***TW***
    BFP Jan. 15, 2017; MMC Mar. 4, 2017 at 10w6d
    BFP Jun. 5, 2017; MMC Aug. 2, 2017 at 11w6d
    BFP Nov. 20, 2017; ended in CP
    All the tests. Everything normal except treated for ureaplasma and DH potentially has high DNAF.
    BFP Dec. 25, 2017; EDD Sep. 5, 2018; DD arrived Aug. 26th
    My chart: https://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/63f71d


    adirat
  • @pourmeamocktail Thank you for those book suggestions! We have focused on finding books with Asian Americans since H is Chinese but I also need more with same sex couples since my brother is gay and in a long term relationship. 

    @starla I love that lab book! We have it on our registry as well. 

    Me: 28   H:30
    TTC #1 Since 5/17
    BFP 7/14/17 - CP
    RE Dx: MFI, Unilateral Tubal Blockage
    12/17 - Clomid + TI
    BFP 12/22/17 - EDD 9/3/18
    nlc8424starlaEErin86
  • For children’s books, we love The Family Book. It doesn’t address race, but does address non-traditional families
    SkilledSailorstothiEErin86starla
  • @SkilledSailor I'd be interested to here about good book with Asian American families too-we have a very very white friend base and town, so I am trying to bring up as many groups as I can because I know he won't see positive models for non-white people without us intentionally making it happen somehow.
    Me: 31
    DH: 30
    Married 7/18/15
    1st born at 35+4 on 6/6/16
    Team green turned BLUE!
    BFP 1/1/18, due 9/7/18 Team Green

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    EErin86
  • @pourmeamocktail I honestly haven't gotten books past the board book phase yet so mostly we have just been looking for books with a variety of skin colors in it. We're really lucky that a local bookshop is very conscious of all sorts of inclusion so I know where I can go for more books when we're ready. Next time I'm in there I'll have to take note of some of their books for older children! They definitely carry ones I wouldn't find in Barnes & Noble. 

    Me: 28   H:30
    TTC #1 Since 5/17
    BFP 7/14/17 - CP
    RE Dx: MFI, Unilateral Tubal Blockage
    12/17 - Clomid + TI
    BFP 12/22/17 - EDD 9/3/18
    pourmeamocktailnlc8424EErin86
  • @SkilledSailor We're still mostly on board books too, he's just freshly 2, but I figure the next 9-12 months will fly by, so it doesn't hurt to get some ideas and newer books now. We do manage to read twice a day minimum. And he loves 10 Little Fingers-hooray for at least celebrating the similarities of all races/colors. 
    Me: 31
    DH: 30
    Married 7/18/15
    1st born at 35+4 on 6/6/16
    Team green turned BLUE!
    BFP 1/1/18, due 9/7/18 Team Green

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

    Pregnancy Ticker
    nlc8424
  • Car0liiineCar0liiine member
    500 Love Its 500 Comments Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    edited July 8
    I haven't been on in a few days but checked in yesterday. After reading your responses and seeing how my post was interpreted, I immediately had a pit in my stomach and a lump in my throat I couldn't shake for hours. I couldn't sleep last night trying to figure out what I could say to undo the misunderstanding. 
    "I personally don't think it's a big deal or a hardship on my part or the part of my children to just be thoughtful and aware of the meaning our words can have.” If it came across that I don't feel the same, or that I think we should pretend racism doesn't exist, I obviously did a really bad job expressing myself. 
    I think the tone of my questions for example did not come across - these were genuine questions. So to say you disagree with them; my whole point was that I'm uncertain about these things. You can disapprove of my uncertainty, but can't disagree with me on these questions because they're questions- not statements of opinion. I just want to be very careful about determining the correct way to reduce prejudice and racism in my children. 
    My instinct is to go through and explain myself point by point, but I've obviously done a piss poor job of conveying my point of view on all of this so I think I'll just stop before i dig myself any deeper of a hole! Just know that I share most of the beliefs and approaches you've all expressed above, and I definitely didn't mean to offend anyone, I just didn't manage to articulate that.  

    ETA: typo
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    starlastothiadiratdexnie
  • @EErin86 Agreed!
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    EErin86nlc8424starlaadirat
  • crispy11crispy11 member
    500 Love Its 100 Comments Second Anniversary First Answer
    edited July 9
    I’m late to the party but I heard the term “white privilege” for the first time from my April 2013 TB spin off Facebook group and I’ve learned so much since then. I know I haven’t been around this board much yet (still working on it!) but I’m so grateful that through TB I have met many wonderful ladies who have taught me so much! 
    DD1 6.2011 
    DD2 4.2013 - vbac
    DS1 9.2016 - vbac, team green
    Baby #4 due 9.2018
    stothiEErin86starla
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