September 2018 Moms

FMLA leave

Does anyone know a lot about FMLA or where we might look to for information?  I am self-employed so I don't have any leave per-se, I'm just taking 6-8 weeks off.  However, DH has vacation and sick time, and we are seriously considering the idea of him staying home as a stay-at-home-dad after LO is born, since 4 under 4 is no joke, and with 3 kids in preschool there will be a lot of running around that needs done, and it would allow me to focus more on work since I have the greater earning potential.  We aren't 100% ready to commit until we make sure the cost of health insurance doesn't kill our budget, as we currently have our insurance through his job and pay very little for great insurance and he's got a good amount of seniority in his union job.  He can't ask anyone at work because once word gets out you might be taking leave, his employer has been know to try to find ways to fire people or write them up so they don't have to deal with it.

He has about 6 weeks sick time, a few days PTO, and 2 weeks vacation.  Our plan is for him to start that leave whenever the baby comes, and he has given his employer notice that, barring any unforeseen issues, whenever baby comes in the beginning of September he will be taking some time off.  My understanding is that he can take his 12 weeks FMLA, and the 8.5 weeks or so he has of paid time would count towards the 12 weeks.  He would receive a check while he still has leave for about 8 weeks, and when that time is up we will have to pay anything that would normally come out of his paycheck (like his dues or insurance) for the last 4 weeks.  

Would he then have to go back to work for some time for the insurance to cover the birth??  Is there anything that prevents both him and I being off at the same time (one of my lawyer friends thought that for new babies, if the mom was out on leave the dad couldn't take FMLA for that same time)?? 

I have no idea how to start figuring out this leave mess and hate that he can't just go to his HR and ask questions!

Re: FMLA leave

  • I should add- I've googled a lot and that's how I've come up with my understanding so far.  Much of it is geared to the mom and using her leave, so I'm not finding as much for our situation.  Wasn't sure if anyone had some experience with this or similar issues.
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  • I really have no input but if you're self employed and not taking an official STD/FMLA, why would your DH not be able to take FMLA? Ive never heard you cannot take FMLA the same time as your spouse but I don't t know for sure. It really sounds like your DH would just need to talk to him employer or someone in his HR department who could answer his questions.
  • nackienackie member
    He’s going to need to talk to his HR department at some point if he’s planning to take FMLA. If he’s really concerned about being fired, he may want to get his union rep involved
  • He plays to talk to them August 1.  We reached out to the union and are waiting to hear back from them.  
  • @chelfish79 I imagine that if he has already accrued all of that time off it shouldn't be an issue to use it during an FMLA leave. But if he hasn't accrued any of the time you listed then he likely would have to go back to work to earn that PTO, or pay back the company. But that definitely sounds tricky and like a potential issue with the employer/union if he isn't actually planning on returning to work at the end of the 12 weeks. Most employers won't let you use PTO to extend your employment. ***not an HR rep, just my 2 cents***
  • If he has already told his employer he is taking time off when the baby comes then I don't see asking hr about FMLA coming as a big surprise to the employer. There is some basic paperwork to fill out. 

    Until you decide if he is quitting his job I wouldn't mention it. 
  • As long as he's still technically employed when the baby is born (and for those few weeks after), the insurance should be fine. It typically ends either on the last day of employment or the last day of the month in which you leave the job - it depends on the plan and possibly on any union agreements in place. But you usually pay insurance premiums in advance, so it's probably what comes out of his check in August or possibly September that ensure your coverage in September for the birth (or shift those time-frames if you give birth in August or October).

    FMLA protects his job and medical benefits, but I'm not sure how it affects those last 4 weeks if he doesn't actually return to the job. I think that for any of the unpaid time, they can require you to pay for *their* share of the insurance premiums as well as your regular share.

    As far as taking it while you're at home as well, I don't think there's any stipulation about that for FMLA. For some other types of state leave (in CA we have Paid Family Leave that the other parent can use as well), there might be rules around no one else being available to care for the child. I don't know of anything like that for FMLA, especially for a new baby.
    2/13 Blighted ovum, D&C -- 6/13 MC -- 8/14 DD born -- 3/17 MC -- 9/18 DD2 born
    Expecting again -- EDD 7/27/20
  • You're talking to his job in three weeks. If you need info sooner for planning purposes, talk to them sooner. What are you going to say, "some random person on the internet told me X." I'm not a controlling source of info that his company needs to follow. 
  • adiratadirat member
    Yes, he will likely owe back costs during FMLA for his health insurance and other benefits that he would need to come back to work to cover. My HR rep told me that my company does not allow employees to pre-pay that stuff so you have to get that taken out of consequent paychecks. His union rep should know for sure but that's very standard.

    FMLA is one thing, but the larger question of whether he can stay home while you guys live on your salary is something I would encourage you to investigate now. Don't wait. I am going to be frank with you: the costs for you guys to get health insurance on the open market, even in states where ACA/Obamacare has good coverage, are going to be astronomical.  


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