Second baby showers

herewegoagain3rd · July 2018

So, I know this is controversial (and not just because it is a one off thread!! Eek!), but what do you ladies think of having a second baby shower is your kids are far apart in age? My DD will be almost 6.5 years old when baby come. All the stuff I had is old or expired and this little one is a boy.

I never really liked the idea of a second shower before, but now, I am having second thoughts.

ETA to clarify: I would not be throwing it for myself. My sister has brought up the idea and I am not sure what to think.

runningyogimama · July 2018

Is this a trap, lol?

I’m a hard no on second+ baby showers. Showers are to welcome a mom to motherhood.

firsttimespartanmom · July 2018

I’m with you @runningyogimama. Although, I suppose it does depend on the tradition within your family or friend group. For me personally, I would say no.

middleschoolmommy · July 2018

I'm having a "sprinkle". My stepmom, who had just entered the picture when I was pregnant with DS asked if she and my sister could host for me. She so incredibly excited about another baby that I told her yes. However, I'm quietly buying the large things off my registry(which she insisted I make), especially when I find them second hand so that the only things left will be the little stuff. There will also be a thing at work, because they have a "sunshine" committee that does something special for EVERY baby.

ETA: I think the 2nd shower/sprinkle thing has become more acceptable... what makes me cringe is ST+M that plan and throw their own showers.

offtoneverland · July 2018

I mean, if someone wants to throw a shower for you, I don't really see a problem with it. It might more rude to say no to someone who really wants to throw a shower. I would probably try to keep it small to just family and very close friends. I think it would be really AW to throw a shower for yourself though.

lurvleybunchococonuts · July 2018

I agree with @middleschoolmommy.

I think if someone offers to throw you a "sprinkle"/shower that's one thing and acceptable to accept or decline depending on however you feel. But to plan your own as a ST+M I'd sideeye a bit. Than again, I don't agree with FTMs planning/throwing their own showers either so... Lol. As for making a registry as a ST+M... I say go for it and get the completion coupons. If (and only if) someone asks where you're registered I'd tell them but to give out that info freely to anyone/everyone is tacky IMO (I feel that way about registries for FTMs or ST+Ms).

herewegoagain3rd · July 2018

Sorry for the confusion. I didn't mean I would be throwing it!! But my sister has brought it up and I wasn't sure what to think. We have already bought most of the bigger ticket items (crib, stroller, car seat, etc) but a lot of the smaller stuff that you would keep from kid to kid, I got rid of.

So I was like...maybe. I do like the idea of a sprinkle though and maybe just ask for diapers. I wouldn't want all the games or anything, just a get together of friends and family.

BabyBoyH92016 · July 2018

I’m typically really against a second shower. However, I wouldn’t side eye going to a sprinkle for someone who had their last baby 6.5 years ago.

lifesabeach85 · July 2018

I’m usually a hard no on second showers - I’ve been to a few that were supposed to be sprinkles but either they got kinda big and were basically showers or people didn’t really know what to do and felt weird/confused. The only one I went to that I really liked was a girls dinner where we treated the mom to a night out and got small gifts for her (not baby). For example, i got her a gift card for a mani.

I would say if someone really wants to do it, it might be ok since it has been a while and they are different sexes, but maybe keep it small and specific.

I also don’t think it’s ok to throw yourself a shower for a FTM or STM+.

josie12367 · July 2018

I say go for it...I had a baby shower with my second, but that's probably because I lived in a different state for my first, and my family never even got to see me in person that pregnancy. So they were excited when my second came along, and I lived in the same city as them. My DD was also six years old, so I was in your same position. I had gotten rid of everything though...My husband and I did buy all the big ticket items ourselves, so that all that was left was smaller things.

If someone is wanting to throw one for you, I would just humbly accept it, and go along for the ride....whether it's an all out thing, a sprinkle, or a specific idea like a night out and mommy gifts. All of those sound appealing to me, and it's the thought that counts in the end

Enjoy it!

wildrainbow · July 2018

I will probably be having a having a legit shower. I never had one with ds and the ladies at my church have mentioned having one for me. Even tho, I am having another boy, most of the things we had for ds was borrowed from a cousin. So, we need those items now, and can't borrow again since they are being used. Even my familyis excited about the prospect of a shower. I'm the only one not, lol. FFFC/UO I hate baby showers, but I will do one if it gets thrown because it's our last and everyone is so excited about "finally" celebrating me.

emjohn517 · July 2018

My family definitely side eyes second showers. That said, you know your own family/friends/audience. If someone wants to throw you one, hey, why not? If people want to come, great, if not, whatever. If it’s a small, casual thing with close friends and family then I don’t see an issue with it.

lostarz14 · July 2018

With that age gap, and if someone else wants to throw it for you, I don't really see a problem with it.

I know some people with kids my DD's age (2.5ish) that are having legit second showers and I don't get it. Like I don't even know what I'd put on a registry since we still have all the big stuff!

If someone came up to me now and said something about a little sprinkle or get together that was small and close family/friends, I'd be ok with it, personally. But I wouldn't even want anyone to throw me a second actual shower for this next kid.

runwmusic · July 2018

I agree with everyone. Graciously take it. With such a large age gap I am sure you both want and need some updates.

lachnessmomster · July 2018

Personally, I was miserable enough at my first shower that I wouldn't want to go through it again regardless how big of a gap there was between my kids. I was really anxious about the whole thing to begin with, as I always get when anything is thrown in my honor, sweated like a pig all day, had this weird pregnancy sympton that caused my underarms to breakout and just did not feel cute.

In a broader sense, I do tend to side-eye showers for subsequent babies. To me, that ship has already sailed. I wouldn't exactly be jazzed about receiving an invitation to a baby shower for someone I've already attended a baby shower for, but that's just me.

I guess I'm just pretty cynical about baby showers in general.

Kered6799 · July 2018

My friends are throwing me one so I did not ask for it. My kids will be 7 years apart and we got rid of alllll the baby stuff so we are starting fresh. Also I have been to Sprinkles when its the opposite gender for clothes, etc. I see it as a way to celebrate a new life. The guests are the ones buying and if they only want to get a box of diapers then so be it, doesn't bother me.

mockingjay1 · July 2018

I agree with most PPs. I side eye anyone (FTM or TTM) throwing their own baby shower, but if you have people who want to throw you one/celebrate baby go for it. Where I live now I think every baby in my friend circle at least gets a sprinkle. I think the mindset is that every baby deserves to be celebrated.

pink_polkadots · July 2018

Yea if someone wants to throw you a second shower, I don’t see an issue with that at all. Asking for one or throwing your own, yea, not so much. I’m not asking for a second shower but my mom has mentioned throwing one because it has been almost 5 years since DD was born. So I think a second shower in my case would be super helpful, but again, I’m not expecting or requesting one. Just grateful for it if it does happen.

phoenix870509 · July 2018

My friend wants to throw me a little sprinkle, just us and a few friends at a restaurant. I saved everything from DS, and its all still relatively new, so all I really need are diapers. And everyone is so excited this is a girl that I'll end up getting outfits for her, which would be fine considering DS went through at least 3 a day!

jessielynn1 · July 2018

Anyone throwing their own shower I find very tacky ftm or not. I’m a hard no on baby showers for st+m. There are plenty of other ways to celebrate mom and new baby without a shower. Showers are to welcome mom into motherhood.

goldie987 · July 2018

Im also firmly no shower/sprinkle for ST+Ms, even if someone else is throwing it for them. I also find the premise of celebrating a baby who isn't here yet silly, the shower is to celebrate the woman becoming a mom, not the baby themselves in my mind. A meet the baby party after they're born would be more appropriate to celebrate the baby if that's what you're looking to do (for me at least).

highsteaks · July 2018

it always feels weird if i hear about a second shower, but then i think that i’m probably going to get them a gift anyways because i’m excited for them, and at least with a shower there’s a chance to eat food and cake while seeing a bunch of friends. then it doesn’t bother me anymore.

in your situation, i wouldn’t give it a second thought at all.

bkosy · July 2018

@lachnessmomster I can totally relate! I was super uncomfortable at my shower. I just don't like people looking at me. I even had a tiny tiny wedding for that reason

ashkee05 · July 2018

I personally don’t understand the stigma behind multiple baby showers. I think ALL babies should be celebrated. Why is one less important than the other and why should one have to have all hand me downs? I mean I understand not getting the big stuff two or three times. BUT not everyone has room to save everything from every baby. Clothes, little things are perfect for second or third. Or even just a diaper party. Idk I just don’t get it and I always support, and go to or at least send a gift to any second, third or fourth shower and never even think twice about it!

BabyBoyH92016 · July 2018

@ashkee05 I can only speak for myself, but my issue with 2nd showers is that I generally dislike all showers (unless you are a close friend or family member). And if you are in a stage in life where everyone is getting married and having babies, I just don’t feel it’s appropriate for a person to have another full on shower if I have somewhat recently attended a baby shower for the same person. I do think 6.5 years is a long enough span where I would completely understand that all your baby items are old/expired and you need new things. I do frequently send gifts to people who have had another baby, and if it’s someone close to me, I definitely want to take the mama out for a nice lunch and buy a few gifts for baby. I think you can still celebrate mom and new baby without throwing a shower.

susan112118 · July 2018

I'm all for the baby sprinkle for 2nd+ kids for opposite gender or large age gap.

herewegoagain3rd · July 2018

Thanks ladies for all the input! If my sister does want to go ahead with something, I will ask her to make it a small sprinkle type party, not a full out shower! If it happens, it happens, if not I am totally fine with that too!

ashkee05 · July 2018

@BabyBoyH92016 I totally get that I am an unpopular opinion about it. It just really doesn’t even phase me. I love celebrating babies.

runningyogimama · July 2018

@BabyBoyH92016 I also don’t particularly enjoy any showers, and I feel they should always be reserved for close friends and family, and people go compeltlely overboard with who is invited and how many showers/parties they have, etc. I also didn’t even enjoy my own baby shower and declined about 50 offers for a bridal shower. I don’t like being the center of attention, and people watching me open gifts (or even receiving gifts in general) feels very embarrassing to me.

BabyBoyH92016 · July 2018

@runningyogimama I’m exactly the same way. I hate attention. I didn’t really want a bridal shower, but felt rude declining since it was my SIL who wanted to throw it. There was one guest who i only knew of and met for the very first time at my bridal shower (good friend of my MIL) and she ended up buying me an extremely expensive gift, and it made me very uncomfortable accepting it. I don’t want to sound ungrateful because my showers were nice and I truly appreciate people taking the time to come and celebrate me/baby, but I definitely prefer celebrations to be more intimate and personal.

KellyT22 · July 2018

I’m team no second shower. And this is coming from a woman due with twins who needs a bunch of things. But to be honest I’m not a huge fan of showers. I was basically forced into a wedding shower and thankfully delivered my oldest the day before I was supposed to have a shower that I asked not to have.

pelorunningmama · July 2018

I think it truly depends on you! It sounds like a lot of the ladies here do not like showers because they don’t like being the center of attention and feel awkward with it. If a loved one wants to have a small shower or sprinkle to celebrate your baby and you are comfortable, go for it. I firmly believe every baby is a blessing and can be celebrated however the mom feels right. Whether it be a small lunch with no gifts of a heavy sprinkle, do what you are comfortable with!

I realize this may be unpopular but my two best friends had a luncheon sprinkle for me when I had DS. DD and DS are only about 3 years apart, but I still graciously accepted. I didn’t make a registry because I didn’t want gifts but the girls still brought small items like diapers, clothes, etc. It was a very small group of female family and friends and it felt so nice to do something that specifically focused on DS.

kamahina9 · July 2018

Go ahead and enjoy it! My sister had 4 boys all pretty far apart and we've had showers for 3 of them. The shower for her 3rd boy was probably the biggest but that's because her younger of the 2 older boys was in high school already. Huge age gaps! And someone always threw it for her. She has a lot of different friends and we have a big family. It seemed like a different group of people at all of them.

CopperBoom86 · July 2018

Ehh. I think it all depends on your particular situation. The people in my family/friend group don’t side-eye second baby showers. I’ve personally gone to several and never thought twice about it. We’re at a different church now than we were for my first baby and they’ve already said they want to throw us a shower. I’m not going to turn it down! My bestie mentioned something to me about throwing one, as well. I told her I’d be okay with it and made the suggestion of making it a diaper shower. I personally think those are more acceptable for subsequent babies. That way you're sending a "just the essentials" vibe.

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