July 2018 Moms

Re: UO Thursday 6/28

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  • @nimmle agree! I’ve blocked many friends for that.
  • @nimmle no I agree 100% - I've also been unfriending over it - mostly political in my case - which is super ironic because I don't consider myself a strongly political person...I'm a f'n independant so it's not like i'm hard left or right so statistically all of these posts shouldn't piss me off right?

    My UO - I struggle with pick up/drive thru/delivery tipping....I literally had 30 sec interaction with you, what interaction am I tipping on? And the whole grubhub requiring tip at checkout before I even know how my delivery service is...   I keep reading the argument that some server had to box up my food for me and they deserve a tip for that...I just don't get it...
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  • @gingerbride26 my H works in the hospitality industry so I’m biased, but I think tipping on delivery something that should be done. Not necessarily 20% like you would in a restaurant, but typically it is true that the driver also has to bag and package your food, plus they often have to drive their own car (using their own gas money) to get it to you, and they rely on tips since hourly wages aren’t high. My H sometimes delivers catering orders - it’s not his job but he helps out - and that entails physically packing and carrying a lot of food and supplies and setting it all up with sternos etc. He shares any tips with the cook who made all the food. He uses his car and his gas. And a lot of times he only gets a few bucks for all that and ends up just giving it all to the cook. 

    Drive through and take out, I don’t always tip, but I personally feel delivery should be tipped. But I also never ever tip a server less than 20% unless the circumstances are extreme and I’m sure that’s an UO as well. 
  • @zande2016 my MIL is and my SIL were servers so in the restaurant I usually tip at least 20% but may go down if service was really bad - like never got a water refilled and had to wave down 3 times for check level of ignoring us, not talking kitchen delays or crap food.  I do feel that the wage should be higher so tips go back to being a gratuity for above and beyond instead of a given expectation, but I know that won't happen any time soon so I still tip at 20% +/-.  At the bar I'll either do one big tip at beginning/end, or $1-$2 per drink.  Delivery, I guess I feel again that it shouldn't be my problem that the employer sucks with their pay and benefits (especially if i also pay a delivery fee) and if the job description is pack and drive food, then we shouldn't have to tip to cover car and gas - that's included in the (understandably crap) salary.  Same way that I don't expect a raise or bonus for doing my job - I think standard cost of living or inflation increases are good practice (though my company hasn't given them in 5+ years) - but merit increases should be based on performance just like tips should be based on actual service and not societal expectations.  But corp america just sucks most of the time and life isn't fair.
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  • The delivery fee does not go to the driver. It’s shitty and I blame the company but the driver still has to make a living so I still tip them. 
  • I baseline tip at 20%, more for exceptional service, less for truly awful service.  I never tip for drive thru or take out especially because 95% of the time the order is wrong..

    I have muted/unfollowed/defriended SOOO many people over politics. I also now identify as independent..I have friends and family on both sides and I try to understand everyone’s pov but when it starts getting extreme and volatile - I don’t need that. It’s mainly why I barely use Facebook at all anymore. I mostly just instagram nowadays because it’s all pictures and straight to the point...babies, weddings, vacations. 
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  • @BrittG13 I also baseline tip at 20. Typically even if you're awful I'll give 15. I always tip delivery 20 percent but never take out. I even too my hairdresser 20 lol.
  • I always tip hair and nails 20%. For more expensive things like massage I usually just leave $20. My husband is a major over tipper. He’s not allowed to settle up the check when we go out. He’s been known to leave 30% and up even for crappy service. 
  • I was going to post in randoms but seem more appropriate for this thread.

    So i was lurking the TTGP board and found this thread that had a comment that seem unfair. Let me start off saying that I’ve had my own TTC challenges and I have tremendous respect for everyone’s journey. Well in this thread the (new) member briefly mentioned her previous children but was inquiring about iud experience. So aside from the usual “please introduce yourself and board organization” comments, she was asked not to talk about her children. I feel like that was a bit unfair. Like i said i fully understand the struggle and the pain of trying and loss but as a mother your pride and joy will be your children. Personally i never felt attacked or mad at someone for having success. I considered them blessed even as i struggled. 
    Anyways maybe it’s just me being hormonal right now but it rubbed me the wrong way. 
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    @nimmle i agree! And I’ve actually gone through and done a few “cleanings” of my friends list on social media, especially with baby coming. No need to clog my feed + have people I’m not close with seeing pics of the new babe.

    and tipping. Always 20% here unless the service is truely horrific. I’ve had family and friends work in the industry and i have respect for people that live off of it. I have always said, people need to work either retail or hospitality/food service once in their life to appreciate the services provided to them. Heck, 10 years later and I’m still in retail, though at management level now. What can i say, i love it!

    My UA: when villains play the victim. I’ve had to part ways from dear friendships with decades invested due to this. I just am over bukkshit and can’t stand drama. 
  • @wildtot I don't know how much experience you have with that board, but if you have other children you are asked to keep the talk to  the TFAS thread. I think maybe if it was an intro hopefully the person who told her that was nice about it, but I know even mentioning that I was stoked for my DS to nap on that board was a little much for some of the ladies who had been trying for awhile. There are people on that board who were active elsewhere on the board and not really on the TFAS taht I didn't even know had other children until a few months into my time there.
  • @zande2016 I don't think I completely worded my thoughts well.  I do understand that the fee doesn't go directly to the driver but it does go towards the driver paycheck and maintaining delivery service.  I also give 20% at restaurants, but I do not feel a driver should get 20% for less than 30 seconds of interaction and doing the job description of pick up bags and deliver to home - especially on grub-hub or uber eats orders where they are just couriering food and not packaging it.  In that case we should start tipping our mail men and UPS drivers on every package.  My biggest issue is the PRE tipping for delivery - instead of a gratuity based on services rendered it turns into a bribe to put me earlier on the route.  Twice this weekend I pre-tipped 10-15% and my food arrived over 30 min later than the end of the 30 min expectation window - and in one of those cases the food was now almost inedible due to steaming in the bag.  I don't really blame drivers for prioritizing bigger tippers, but I blame the system for setting up this literal Hunger Games scenario.
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  • @gingerbride26 I hear ya. I order delivery at work via Seamless a lot and pre-tip because I have no cash, and yeah the service is usually really bad. They don't have to provide good service because the tip comes first. BUT I also know they work hard in all weather conditions (NYC so most bike or walk or use scooters) and I know they rely on tips to make their living. I get where you're coming from and agree on the principle of it, I just personally can't not provide a tip. They're a part of a stupid broken system but they didn't make the system. 
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