TWW Monday 6/25

navete · June 2018

**This is a thread that welcomes all regardless of where they are at in their TTC journeys. Please be mindful of topics that are discussed that could be hurtful to those going through tough times. Mention of children or pregnancies of others should have a TW and be in a spoiler if possible, and only be mentioned if it is extremely pertinent to the conversation. Thanks for keeping this a safe place for us all to engage!**

Month/Cycle:

CD/DPO:

Timing:

Typical LP length:

Testing:

R/R:

CS/Q:

prpl11butterfly · June 2018

Month/Cycle: 11/8

CD/DPO: 23/5

Timing: -2, -1

Typical LP length: 13

Testing: egh. Not sure

R/R: I'm feeling pretty defeated this week. I just feel like it's not gonna happen this month (or anytime soon). I've had this feeling (not cramps or pain per say) of uncomfortable uterus since 2dpo. Obv way to early for anything good, so it makes me feel it wont happen because something is off this month. DH is upset by my feeling this way and pushing me to feel positive. Says he feels like my mood will impact the result *major eyeroll*. I reminded him that I've actually been pretty positive the past few months and still no success....

I have no raves.

CS/Q: I mean, it's still pretty to look at even if I feel like this. And it's too early to hint at anything.

Image: https://us.v-cdn.net/5020794/uploads/editor/jh/uis2nwswkp6g.jpg

nomangos23 · June 2018

@prpl11butterfly I can understand the feeling of losing hope after several unsuccessful cycles but I AM a big believer in positive thoughts and energy. You're only on CD5, and my thoughts are if you've had 8 unsuccessful cycles and this one feels a bit different, it might be for good reason

Keep your head up. I do a LOT of yoga breathing during my TWW.

Month/Cycle: 8/4

CD/DPO: 23/5

Timing: Pretty good

Typical LP length: 10/11

Testing: I guess Saturday

R/R: Monday. Need I say more?

CS/Q: Nah.

navete · June 2018

Month/Cycle: 3/3

CD/DPO: 25/10

Timing: -2, 0, +1

Typical LP length: 11-14?

Testing: Planned to wfaf, but might test this morning so I can feel less guilty having a sip at a going away party tonight. Or I won’t test and skip the party. Why do people plan an event at a bar on a Monday?

R/R: I’ve been really irritable with MH, more signs that AF is on her way. I thought I had discounted this cycle from the get go, but my soured mood says otherwise. Why do I try to play mind tricks on myself (I need that eyeroll emoji).

CS/Q: I was hoping for continued temp rise today but this is now looking exactly like the temps from end of last cycle. Still holding out hope I don’t get that plunging temp drop tomorrow though...which is why I don’t want to test

Image: https://us.v-cdn.net/5020794/uploads/editor/gv/tgpunj80gci7.jpeg

littleredm · June 2018

I stepped away for a month because we decided not to try at all this month so I could get a breather and relax. All the charting and obsessing over every little detail stressed me out. It didn't work out that way though and we did end up bd'ing around ovulation time one night. I'm annoyed about it because it means I can't take certain medications and the whole point was that I wouldn't have to worry about that for a month. Oh well.

Month/Cycle: After reviewing my timing on certain months and months we've stepped away I'm not sure anymore.

CD/DPO: 29 / Not sure. My guess is somewhere between 10-11 DPO.

Timing: -1? maybe.

Typical LP length: 12-14

Testing: BFN today. Not surprised.

R/R:
Rave:I planted hydrangeas in our front yard yesterday and just praying they do well. They remind me of my grandmother because she always had them growing in her yard so they mean a lot to me. I'm also making tomato soup from some tomatoes we grew. Excited and hoping it'll taste really good.

Rant: I auditioned for a silly community theatre show the other day to try and get myself out of the house since contracting has been super slow. I let my nerves get to me though since I haven't auditioned in over 2 years and it didn't go great. I got an email yesterday letting me know I wasn't cast so that was a disappointing rejection.

CS/Q: Haven't charted this month.

@prpl11butterfly I'm so sorry you've been feeling defeated lately. I'm right there with you. It's tough too because I don't think men truly understand how important it is to us and why we get down about it. I've told my husband that I don't think he cares sometimes and he just has the attitude "it'll happen when it happens". So frustrating.

crookshanks10 · June 2018

** I changed my username but kept my picture the same and the number 10, so hopefully people will connect the dots I got to thinking that I didn't want my real name out there.

Month/Cycle: 9/10

CD/DPO: 22/5

Timing: -3,-2,0,+1

Typical LP length: 10 last cycle

Testing: I'll try not to... FX for clomid round 2 to work

R/R: Rant: No rant today, other than it's Monday! Rave: We got a new couch yesterday for our new living room.. yay! Now to find 2 accent chairs. I've been doing some searching.. just have to chose the right ones.

CS/Q: Chart in spoiler. I'm having an interesting time with temping lately. My DH wakes up at 3:30a-3:45a and I always wake up so I started temping then instead of my usual wake up time, 5:45a. Which definitely gave me lower temperatures than usual. This morning he slept in a bit until 4:30a or so, so I just temped then. I figure as long as I get confirmation of O, that's all that matters.

Image: https://us.v-cdn.net/5020794/uploads/editor/mr/g83amkd1btu0.jpg

navete · June 2018

@prpl11butterfly I’m sorry you’re feeling defeated this week. It seems TTC can be very tiring psychologically. I’d say let yourself feel what you’re feeling, fully embrace it, and then let it go (the ill feelings will usually release on their own). Maybe it’s just me, but I’ve found that my emotions are easier to deal with if I let them run their course for a little. The yoga breathing nomangos23 suggested sounds good too. I’m confident that your hope and positivity for this cycle will build up soon

@nomangos23 Gah, Monday

The great news is that it’s already started, meaning it’s almost over, right? lol Hope it’s a good day for you regardless.

crookshanks10 · June 2018

@prpl11butterfly Sorry to hear you're having a down day. It's 100% impossible to stay positive all the time while TTC. Give yourself today, and then back to positive thoughts! As you know, we all have our fx for you!

@nomangos23 True.. I guess my rant could've been today's Monday haha. Not excited to start another work week. BOO!

@navete I haven't been drinking at social gatherings and it's so frustrating dodging "are you pregnant?" "why aren't you drinking" Sheesh! Sometimes people just don't want to drink alcohol lol. I hope your temp stays up!

@littleredm I love hydrangeas! We have one at our house that we planted at our old house and dug it up and brought it with us haha. I hope yours does well! They are super fickle! That was so brave of you to even audition for the theater. Many people wouldn't have even gotten that far. Do you think you'll audition for something else soon?

prpl11butterfly · June 2018

Thanks ladies. It's great having you all here and knowing exactly what I'm feeling. Men will never understand. I'm starting to feel a bit better. Sun is out and I saw the first Monarch of the season when I got home for lunch (and started crying because I know it's a message from my gramps, if only I knew why).

@nomangos23 I'd like to think your right about this one being different unfor different at 2dpo seems so unrealistic.

@navete go and have fun but don't drink. And of people question it, remind them its monday.

@littleredm sorry about the audition! Keep trying and I'm sure you'll be back at it on no time.

@crookshanks10 I was super confused by the name cchange at first but I got ya now

yey for new couches!

kiki047 · June 2018

@prpl11butterfly *hugs*. I hear you on feeling defeated. I’m right there with you. Know that you’re not alone and that it’s ok to feel that way. People are always telling me to think positive and “it’ll happen when [we’re] ready”, etc etc. I just want to shoot back “but I’m ready NOW goddammit”.

@nomangos23 I should really get back into yoga. I’ve been saying that for years since I stopped my gym membership. I did pay for a years worth of the Simple Habit meditation access but do I use it? Nope.

@navete hopefully YH understands where the irritability comes from. #2 on the list of things that’ll set me off is “are you getting your period or something?” #1 is “I’m ready, I’ve just been waiting for you” (while he sits on the couch, shirtless, playing games on his phone while I run around like a lunatic making the bed, changing the laundry over, packing whatever needs to go with us, putting the dishes away, topping up food/water for the fur babies, etc etc. Seriously?! And I phased out drinking alcohol about 8 months ago along with caffeine so most of my close friends and family at least stopped asking. It was for my anxiety but it also works for TTC.

@littleredm the hydrangeas sound amazing. And good for you for even going out there to audition. Sorry you didn’t get the part but that first step is often the hardest.

@crookshanks10 love the new username. Yay for new couch! Hopefully you find the chairs soon. I feel like those kinds of things will just jump out at you when you happen across them. Those are the best kinds of finds.

lelkcot · June 2018

@prpl11butterfly it is so hard to stay positive going through this, I’m with @navete – let yourself feel it, and then try and let go (easier said than done, but something I’m working on myself). Hope tomorrow you're feeling more positive!

@navete I definitely try and tell myself I’m not going to get my hopes up, only to do the exact opposite. Go have fun tonight and just order something that will make it look like you’re drinking so you don’t have to answer questions!

@littleredm hydrangeas are so pretty, I have two in my backyard and just want to add more!

@crookshanks10 1. Love the new name. 2. Thoroughly jealous of the new couch!

Month/Cycle: 6/6

CD/DPO: 21/3

Timing: -5, -3, -1

Typical LP length: 10-12-ish

Testing: planning to wfaf

R/R: Trying to figure out job stuff has been so stressful. Still have 2 yet-to-be-finalized job offers, but nothing concert. My current job ends at the end of July, so I still have some time. But I hate being in limbo.

CS/Q: didn’t temp this cycle, so nope

kiki047 · June 2018

@LElkCot FX those offers come in soon. Hopefully that’ll set your mind more at ease.

Month/Cycle: 6/5

CD/DPO: 32/13ish

Timing: -3

Typical LP length: TBD

Testing: was planning to WFAF but if she doesn’t come today, probably testing tomorrow

R/R: gorgeous day today, driving back to Ontario from. Syracuse. Enjoying the quiet time with my honey, although his brother and cousin are in the car so he keeps asking what I’m reading and I’ve been giving him the most vague answers as possible while trying to tip him off that it’s TTGP related. Dunno if he got that but he stopped asking lol. Now to get through target with a cart full of softcups and hope none of them ask what they are. We’re close but I don’t think they want to know what they’re designed to do or what I’m planning on doing with them haha.

CS/Q: My temps have gone and confused FF even more. Now she thinks I o’d a few days ago. She stripped me of my CH when my temp dipped after my +OPKs but now I have another rise and ... I don’t even know.

Image: https://us.v-cdn.net/5020794/uploads/editor/88/bai96p098hhv.jpeg

prpl11butterfly · June 2018

@kiki047 honestly, your temps done scream "successful ovulation" to match your OPK. I can see why FF is changing up her mind on this.

TJtheGoat · June 2018

@prpl11butterfly Im sorry that you are feeling hopeless this cycle. If it helps at all, I don’t believe that your uterus knows what your mind is thinking so it should have no effect.

@littleredm Hydrangeas are my absolute favorite. My grandma always had a bunch of them in her yard. I hope yours thrive!

@crookshanks10 Yay for a new couch! Do you mind posting a photo? I’m obsessively shopping for couches for our new house as well. Also, you may have looked, but Wayfair has a ton of good sales and has some cute chairs if you need accent pieces.

@kiki047 I laughed out loud imagining you explaining the soft cups to your BIL.

suzycupcake · June 2018

@prpl11butterfly My heart hurts for you because this journey is so discouraging at times. You did everything you could this cycle. Hang in there and just know that you aren't alone. Let that knowledge get you through this tww

Also, butterflies, particularly monarchs have always been my favorite. The transformation that a butterfly goes through alone is just spectacular, to me. What was your gramps like?

@navete It's okay. He knows that you love him even if your hormones don't

I know, right? I don't know how people can do that on a weeknight and then go back to work. That's never been my cup of tea either.

@littleredm Welcome back lady

I'm glad that you are taking steps to get out of the house. Hugs to you. You're doing the best that you can. I planted a blue hydrangea once back when I first started gardening. The most temperamental plant I've ever run across since! They are so beautiful though. What color did you plant? Homemade tomato soup sounds yummy. Do you have a specific recipe or is it just about squashing the tomatoes and removing the skins?

@crookshanks10 You and I have been private messaging for awhile right?

@LElkCot Best wishes on your job offer journey. I hope the position that you settle into values you, pays you well, and that you really enjoy it. I also hope the new job stress melts away quickly and that you find the colleagues you really jive with at lightning speed.

CD/DPO: 27/9 or 10

Timing: High

Typical LP length: Last time, it was 15

Testing: Wfaf

R/R: We start counseling tonight about our struggle with IF. I'm not really sure what to expect.

CS/Q: No disrupted sleep last night. I took my temp at the usual 7:30 and it was 97.61 I took it immediately after that and it was 97.55 Not really sure what to make of that so I put 97.55 and put the other in notes.

Image: https://us.v-cdn.net/5020794/uploads/editor/71/y9882ke8a91c.png

TJtheGoat · June 2018

Month/Cycle: 4/3

CD/DPO: 25/9

Timing: -4, -2, O, +1

Typical LP length: 12ish

Testing: Probably Friday

R/R: We slept at the new house last night! It’s still a mess and I don’t know where any of my clothes are, but we officially live there now.

My only rant is Monday.

CS/Q:

Image: https://us.v-cdn.net/5020794/uploads/editor/4l/ygtx8fldsjim.jpeg

mschanandlerbong1214 · June 2018

Month/Cycle: 15/14

CD/DPO: 27/7

Timing: -3 -2 -1

Typical LP length: 10-12

Testing: trying to refrain til Thursday but I started spotting today which is always how AF starts so I’m not really optimistic.

R/R: Rant: was at a graduation party for 2 of my younger cousins this weekend. Everyone got to meet our puppy I got for birthday and one of my uncles said “better than getting pregnant again” and just kept going on and on about it. I sat there and took it but then excused myself and went to the bathroom and cried. I would have given anything to have gotten a BFP for my birthday.
Rave: it’s summer? Idk. Feeling a little blah today.

CS/Q: nope

suzycupcake · June 2018

@TJtheGoat I think I may have asked you this before but maybe you didn't see it. Do you usually get temp dips below your cover line in tww?

@mschanandlerbong1214 Oh hellz no! Your uncle is lucky that one of us wasn't sitting there with you. I'm so very sorry. What an awful thing to say. Hugs

Is your birthday today?

mschanandlerbong1214 · June 2018

@suzycupcake no it was in December. And I’m his defense he doesnt know our history but still a crappy thing to say and assume.

suzycupcake · June 2018

@mschanandlerbong1214 Oh the way I read it was that you either just had a birthday or something and he was referring to the *TW that you have in your signature when he said "again" and went on and on about it. But yes, crappy to say and assume. Still sorry for you and I would've still put him in his place (politely of course) if I were there.

littleredm · June 2018

@crookshanks10 That's so exciting about the new couch! I love decorating and creating beautiful spaces! Hope you find the perfect accent chairs soon!

I probably won't be auditioning again. The main reason I went for it this time is because it was a really quick process, which meant it would have been over in about 2 months. Most shows audition way in advance and it's just counterproductive to other goals in my life to try for shows that far in the future.

@LElkCot Being in limbo is always a tough feeling. Hoping that those jobs offers come through and finalize and you're able to find the best job for you!

@suzycupcake Thanks for the welcome back!

I actually planted two hydrangea bushes, one blue and one pink. The ph of the soil is what determines the color of future flowers though so it'll be a surprise to see what colors they turn. I'm going to roast the tomatoes with cloves of garlic and oregano, salt & pepper in the oven. Then I'll caramelize some onions in a pot and combine with the tomatoes and use my immersion blender and add fresh basil and other spices/broth for flavor and consistency. Hoping that your counseling session goes well and brings you and some comfort.

@TJtheGoat Congratulations on the new home! Hope you get settled in quickly. Post pictures once you have it set up and decorated so we can see! I love seeing people's decor and styles.

TJtheGoat · June 2018

@suzycupcake My temps tend to be very up and down all the time, but looking at my other charts, the dip is getting my hopes up. TW* prior pregnancy/loss

I had a temp dip on the cycle I got pregnant. Although it didn’t stick...

Damn you, FF! I’m trying to manage expectations.

suzycupcake · June 2018

@TJtheGoat My hopes are up for you, fx!

prpl11butterfly · June 2018

@TJtheGoat I don't think my ute knows either

and hopefully we are right and I'm pleasantly surprised. Your chart looks great, mythical implantation dip no longer a myth....fx for you!

@suzycupcake why is it that your always know what to say and can make me cry? My gramps was a great man. He worked hard to provide for my family and had so much love. He use to do all kinds of woodworking and would build us butterfly cages to "hatch" Monarchs in. It's been so long since I've seen them but last summer (1 year after his passing) they started showing up in the yard. I just know he's sending them to me.

SesshomaruMom · June 2018

Month/Cycle: 24
CD/DPO: 18/8
Timing: -2 and O
Testing: trying to hold out until AF is late
Typical LP: 18
R/R: Monday. Symptom spotting.
CS: Haven't charted in months.

nomangos23 · June 2018

@prpl11butterfly My grandmother passed away in April and she loved cardinals. I actually inherited her cardinal collection

Was out back watching the dogs act like clowns a few weeks after her funeral and wouldn't you know a freakin cardinal swooped in out of no where and hung out in the backyard with us for a while. I had never seen one in my yard before that. We've been in our house for 4 years. They're totally with us.

@TJtheGoat I got a temp dip on CD7 the month I got pregnant too. Charts lookin' good. Sending good vibes your way

@Kiki467 ahh yes, the argument with FF, I know all too well. Wasn't it you who mentioned you had a utrasound w/ your GP and he said you had a cyst on your ovary? It could easily be a corpus luteum cysts, which would mean you did indeed ovulate. Did you get to see any of the images from the US?

@suzycupcake I started seeing a counselor *TW after my first loss and it's been helpful. Hubs will go with me sometimes too. You may not leave feeling like you got much accomplished, because the first appointment is usually just a meet n greet but you might have a good idea after visit 2 and 3. Good luck!

suzycupcake · June 2018

Thanks @nomangos23 I just cancelled the appointment tonight because he has a migraine. I'm secretly glad (not for the migraine) but for the cancellation. I really don't want to talk about it tonight.

@prpl11butterfly I don't know. I think because I've suffered so much in life and know what it's like to lose someone that you love so deeply. For me, one of the hardest parts about it is when everyone else stops talking about them. Your gramps does sound like a great man

Do you know how to build one of those cages? I wonder if he left plans lying around anywhere. It would be cool to build one and put his name on it. I've never seen them before and didn't know people could do that. I really do believe our loved ones can send us signs too. Several weeks ago, I turned on my garbage disposal while putting dishes into the dishwasher (my dad was a fixer and a builder).

It had been making a strange noise for awhile but all of a sudden, it stopped and was running smoothly. I started feeling strange thinking, wait, it couldn't be that my dad fixed it for me, can it?! Right after that thought, I bumped one of our black stone salad plates off of the counter while pulling it down into the dishwasher. A piece of the edge of the plate broke off. What was left was a white heart shape and I just lost it right there in my kitchen. Here is a pic of it in a spoiler.

Image: https://us.v-cdn.net/5020794/uploads/editor/b1/0w8vro4cfcvh.jpeg

quidditchcapn1120 · June 2018

@prpl11butterfly I'm so sorry you're feeling that way this cycle. I'm glad the sun came out for you and that you got a beautiful sign from your gramps.

@crookshanks10 Love the new name!

quidditchcapn1120 · June 2018

Month/Cycle: 4/4

CD/DPO: 26/8

Timing: -2, -5

Typical LP length: 9-10

Testing: WFAF

R/R: I started a gratitude/reflection/goals journal yesterday. I feel like it will help me focus on what I really want out of life. I've felt like I've just been existing recently. I believe it's likely due to now being off my anxiety meds since February. Does anyone have experience with remaining on their meds while TTC? My doc took me off as soon as I mentioned TTC and I really did ok for the first month or two but it's getting more and more unmanageable.

CS/Q: I stopped temping this cycle because I had graduation parties which meant multiple nights with drinks. I'll pick up again next cycle.

kindbytealikat · June 2018

First off sorry I’m so late. I painted for 6 hours today.

@prpl11butterfly I’m sorry you’re down, I know how that defeated feeling works. Hugs !!
@littleredm I love hydrangeas. Sorry about the play.
@suzycupcake Good Luck at counseling, I hope it helps you
@TJtheGoat YAY new house!
@mschanandlerbong1214 I’m so sorry what an asshole thing to say!!
@quidditchcapn1120 Yay for journaling!!!

kindbytealikat · June 2018

Month/Cycle: 2/1 this go around. We’ve been working at it off/on since last May

CD/DPO: 23/4

Timing: -2

Typical LP length: 12-14

Testing: The 4th

R/R: Painted my living room, hall and entry way today. I’m exhausted though. Rant: This progesterone supplement is making me sooo emotional and FF won’t give me solid CH because of it. Also my sister divorce turned nasty today and I’m and so angry and I know I need to relax. I don’t drink in the TWW but man I need a bottle of wine.

CS/Q:

TJtheGoat · June 2018

@kindbytealikat Thats a lot of painting! You must be exhausted. Sorry that FF and your soon-to-be ex-BIL are being jerks.

prpl11butterfly · June 2018

@nomangos23 I get cardinals from my Aunt. Started having them year after she passed. He was around so frequently and so involved in our lives that I named him Kenny (after Kenny Roger's, her favorite).

@suzycupcake he didn't do small things like that with plans, all eyed out (which is the same way my gram cooks lol). I do have the cradle he made when my mom was expecting me. Its beautiful. All my children (and hopefully my brothers) will sleep in it. I have a small cage used for bee transport that I plan to use for raising monarchs this year. It will need some minor adds but I think I can handle them. I just need to get across the street and find the eggs /caterpillars.

I think your dad fixed the disposal and was letting you know with the heart (though I think making youbreak a plate was a little much

) Hope counseling goes well for you

crookshanks10 · June 2018

@TJtheGoat Deciding on a couch is torture! I have never ordered off Wayfair but I did find cute chairs on there so I probably will go that route. They have a lot of cute stuff! What kind of couch are you going to get do you think? YAY for you being in your new house! I can't remember the name of the couch but I'll send it to you later

It's just a neutral beige/tan but I plan to add in pops of color with the furniture!

@suzycupcake Yes, that's me!

@mschanandlerbong1214 Don't you hate it when people make those types of comments? You just want to yell at them!

TWW Monday 6/25

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