TTA/Benched week of 6/4

spacemountaineer · June 2018

This thread is for those who have started TTC but are now TTA or Benched. (There is also a TTCAL "sister" thread.)

***General TW that this thread can and will mention MC and loss.*** This is a place for those of us who have already started TTC, but have hit a roadblock and are delaying for whatever reason. You can express your thoughts, feelings, and frustrations on not TTC and connect with others who are in the same boat. TTC can be a long journey, and having to wait makes it feel even longer -- even if it is for a good reason. I invite you to resurrect this thread at any point in the week if you have something to say. Treat this like an ongoing conversation.

Benched = involuntarily not NTNP/TTC and "out of the game," usually due to medical reasons

TTA = avoiding pregnancy by using protection or FAM, usually for non-health-related reasons __________________________________________________________________
Are you benched or TTA?
What brings you here?
How long do you think you'll be here?
How have things been going?
Any R/R/CS/Q?
GTKY:Any upcoming travel plans?

spacemountaineer · June 2018

Are you benched or TTA? Benched

What brings you here? Back problems

How long do you think you'll be here? August 2018 *crosses fingers*

How have things been going? My back was doing really well. Physical therapist stopped doing weekly appointments. Spent last week thoroughly cleaning my house. Back went out Sunday. It was sore yesterday but not bad. I tired to go to the gym to see if some physical movement could loosen my back up a bit and it didn't. This morning has been spent attempting to do stretches and lying in bed with my tens unit and heating pad. I'm going to the PT tomorrow and can get back to normal.

Any R/R/CS/Q? It feels really nice to have a clean house again but it's a shame it came at such a price.

GTKY:Any upcoming travel plans? Nope but I'm happy to live vicariously through you.

holly321 · June 2018

Are you benched or TTA? Kind of both

What brings you here? Emotional, I have had a really crappy 1.5 years. I need to just focus on some of the other issues in my life for a few months. Otherwise, I have been having a lot of health issues lately. 1 cancer and 1 cancer scare has mean needing to focus on getting healthy for a bit. And plus also, I have surgery in September.

How long do you think you'll be here? Hopefully only until around October

How have things been going? I sometimes feel like I am making a horrible mistake by waiting for a few mothmo, then other days I feel like it is just what I needed. The last few weeks I feel like I am actually able to grieve my loss properly. After I lost the baby the focus was so much on the cancer.

Any R/R/CS/Q? None
GTKY:Any upcoming travel plans? Not really. We plan to go to the ocean for a week this summer, but we don't live that far away, so I don't really count that as traveling.

@spacemountianeer, did you injure your back? I hope PT goes well today, and that your house stays clean long enough to make it worth it!

nmbrcrnchr1 · June 2018

Are you benched or TTA? Benched
What brings you here? EP in Feb18, right tube removal
How long do you think you'll be here? August, only 2 more months!!!!
How have things been going? Pretty good, **TW my DH actually opened up the other day on how our loss affected him. To be honest I didn’t think it did bc he doesn’t show emotions very often but he said it just took him awhile to process everything tat happened, so it was nice to have an open conversation. Since our loss was so early sometimes I feel like it was not as “real”, but then I feel guilty for thinking that way. It’s a rollercoaster some days I guess is what I’m trying to say!

Any R/R/CS/Q? I can’t beleive we only have a few more cycles of being benched! Although I’m slightly terrified to try again bc of everything we’ve been thru.

GTKY:Any upcoming travel plans? Girl’s weekend this weekend that I’m super excited about! And then going to our friends lake house at the end of this month. Just got to get thru my crappy work schedule this week and next.

@holly321 I’m glad you are able to grieve properly, at first I thought being benched for 6 months was just too long but I do think it’s given me time to really process everything, don’t get me wrong I want to be KU, but I know emotionally I’m in a much better place than I was 3 months ago...I hope you find your “place”

catlady2015 · June 2018

Are you benched or TTA? Benched
What brings you here? MC on 5/29, need to get my cycle back
How long do you think you'll be here? hopefully a month or so
How have things been going? Ehh, its been a little tough emotionally to adjust. Physically things are over so that has helped, but still working through the mental parts. DH has been super clinical and detached and that's also upsetting. I know he's trying to get me to look forward, but then it seems like he's dismissive of what was, if that makes sense.
Any R/R/CS/Q? We set the closing date on our house for next month! i now need to look ahead to packing, moving dates, transferring utilities, all that fun stuff.
GTKY: Any upcoming travel plans? Nope, with the house I planned to stay close to home this year.

catlady2015 · June 2018

@spacemountianeer - I hope the PT can help your back tomorrow! Ive had mine lock up and definitely no bueno. Are you prone to back issues or is this a new thing?

@holly321 - big hugs, friend. Im glad you feel like you're finally able to grieve your loss. Are you planning to start trying again after you recover from your surgery? I'm so sorry you've been having so many health issues the last year and a half. Just the most rotten luck. You're definitely due for some good things.

@nmbrcrnchr1 - i'm so excited you only have two more months on the bench! I understand your trepidation, but you should be monitored more carefully since you now have had an EP - they'll want to make sure early it's in the right spot. I hope you have a great girl's weekend this weekend!

nomangos23 · June 2018

@nmbrcrnchr1 Yes! We've lost two in the past 5 months and husband just opened up the other day about how much our losses have affected him. Men obviously deal with the issues differently than woman. I was just glad he acknowledged that he still grieved our losses too. Sometimes I feel very alone. I'm sure you know the feeling.

@catlady2015 I'm sorry about your loss. New house! Exciting! Packing and moving will keep you plenty busy. Hopefully you're not in a climate that's unbearably hot?

Are you benched or TTA? Benched

What brings you here? After two losses in 5 months we've decided to work with an RE, which has been AWESOME and I would recommend it to anyone in a similar situation. She's been so thorough (which my OB wasn't) and has validated every single concern I had about potential causes for pregnancy loss that my OB just missed.

How long do you think you'll be here? Hoping to get the green light in August. Sounds like several of us will be "unbenched" around the same time

How have things been going? Loss is tough. There's no easy way to put it. I will totally second @holly321 comment about giving yourself the proper time to heal. I feel I rushed into getting KU after my first loss and it ended in a CP. I was SO eager to get pg again that I just shoved all of my grieving feelings to the side. So when CP happened, it was a blow.

Eager to get back on the horse but doc has several tests she wants to run (starting with an officer hysteroscopy on Tuesday... fun!) and warned against trying before we know if there was a culprit to my mc issues. Soooooo... I guess it's smart to follow her recommendation.

Any R/R/CS/Q? Rave: Have been traveling the past 3 days so happy to get home to hubs and fur-babies. Rant: Terrified to see what condition the house is in when I get home.

GTKY: Any upcoming travel plans? Husband and I just bought a ski boat, so we'll be spending plenty of time on the lake this summer. Which is not quite a vacation but it's a temporary escape from our day-to-day.

spacemountaineer · June 2018

@holly321 - I injured my back putting on a pair of pants. How boring of a story is that? I have problems with my SI joint. That also affects my hips.

I'm glad you're giving yourself to grieve and address what you are feeling. Having to wait until Sept for a surgery doesn't sound fun.

@catlady2015 - I actually hurt a different part of my lower back in 2013. The current problem with my SI has been going since Jan 2017. So technically I got benched before I got to ttgp but the only place where I really fit is on Babies on the Brain but that board is pretty quiet.

@nomangos23- I'm glad your experience with an RE is so positive! Boating sounds like a great way to spend the summer!

Went to the PT today and it really helped. She talked about my progress and was talking about being months out. I'm still hoping for August but it may be pushed back even further. It's better to be fully healthy than trying to stay to an estimated time of treatment completion if that makes sense.

catlady2015 · June 2018

@spacemountianeer - I hurt my back pulling out the drawer underneath the stove. I spent some time on BOTB before TTGP and it's a good but small group. I'm glad you found somewhere you feel like you fit!

spacemountaineer · June 2018

@catlady2015 - it is nice. I have to admit I didn't plan on coming back to the bump until I planned on ttgp but *tw?* my SIL sent the family a text saying that she was pregnant. I was sad but tried to happy for her. Then my other SIL sent my husband and me a text saying, "It's your turn for another one now, right?

" (apparently she was trying to be funny). It took everything not to break down and cry right in the middle of Wal-Mart when I got that text. That's why I came back to the bump because I knew there were women here who understood how I felt, even if the circumstances were not the same. They knew what it was like to want to have a baby but couldn't. And there were some women who wanted to be pregnant but couldn't even try due medical issues. * end of tw* While I'm not trying to say that my back problems is the same what other ladies are going through it is similar enough that I don't feel quite as alone. And I appreciate that.

nmbrcrnchr1 · June 2018

@catlady2015 I’m so sorry to see you back here. Be patient with your DH...it took mine 3 months to finally open up and since he did it’s been amazing. I guess we all grieve differently. @nomangos23 yay for being unbenched in August!!! Not that I’m counting down or anything

if my body cooperates we should be in FW for our 4th anniversary, that has to be a good sign right?? @spacemountianeer SI pains are no joke! Hope your PT continues to help you

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