TTTC Checkin 05/24/2018

funkykey · May 2018

Hey Guys,

I hope you don't mind. I'm hoping in and creating a new checkin for this week.
@GoldenKeys - apologies if I am overstepping! This may be a one-time thing.

QOTW: Did you watch the royal wedding?

PAGING:

@BWhitta: dx: PCOS, low AMH and endo Rx: letrozole
@Bababatty: dx:Low Motility Rx: IVF
@ChristinaV2015: dx: blocked tubes, PCOS, endo + MFI Rx: lap, OPKs + TI
@ChristenMA83 : dx: MFI Rx: IVF w/ISCI
@emgem819 dx: PCOS, Rx: provera, femara + Bravelle
@hoffmanr7: dx: unexplained Rx: IVF
@jmr1515: dx: Mild MFI/morph, fibroid Rx: Surgery + TI
@mackenzie07 dx: PCOS and Endo Rx: metformin, letrozole, ovidrel
@mandasand: dx: low AMH Rx:IVF (Lupron, Menopur + Follistim)
@MrsM00re87: dx: DOR PCOS, low morph Rx: Femara + TI
@Mythril: dx: PCOS (anovulatory) Rx:levothyroxine, metformin and femara + TI
@rachlee2010: dx: DOR Rx: IUI
@Samanthaarielxo dx: anovulation Rx: still in testing
@sarah0985: dx: PCOS, possible blocked tubes Rx: Lap
@SM746830: dx: PCOS, blocked tubes Rx: Surgery, Clomid
@starlitfae dx: MFI & balanced translocation, thyroid Rx: ivf with pgd testing
@funkykey dx: unexplained Rx: IVF
@Worldtravler0522 dx: PCOS/Unexplained Rx: IVF
@notamyrtle: dx: unexplained Rx: IUI + injects
@Kate437: dx:anovulatory Rx:Letrozole + trigger
@SP128: in testing/unexplained
@eranvo27: dx: anovulatory PCOS Rx: metformin
@brittlefebvre: in testing
@Charligirl28: dx: unexplained Rx: Clomid
@kristimh80: dx: unexplained Rx: Injectables + trigger + IUI
@Brooke4131: dx: Secondary unexplained Rx: in testing
@fluffybookworm: dx: Anovulation + insulin resistance Rx: Metformin + prometrium + testing
@Asampson87: dx: unexplained + MFI Rx: metformin + testing
@hannahlce: dx: anovulatory PCOS Rx: metformin + letrozole
@emmasemm: dx: DOR & autoimmune Rx: IVF
@floridanursegirl: dx: unexplained anovulation Rx:Metformin, IUI+Femara+trigger
@aeb1116: dx: unexplained Rx: IUI
@Happyin14: dx: unexplained, RPL Rx: IVF
@amac2313: dx: unknown Rx: Clomid
@nurseerin2012: dx: unexplained Rx: letrozole + IUI
@Knottie1467155066: dx: unknown Rx: letrozole + trigger + TI
* @thothscribe81: dx: unexplained Rx: IVF
@BenJay: Dx: PCOS/unexplained Rx. Metformin + supplements
@MicahDahn: Dx: irregular cycles Rx: preparing for testing
* @kiwielopingbride: Dx: Unexplained Rx: IUI
@moloninge Dx:PCOS, hypothyroidism, insulin resistance, fibroids. Rx:Metformin,Synthroid,IUI w/letrozole, ovidrel, and progesterone.
@beec2421: dx: PCOS, hypothyroidism Rx: metformin, synthroid, clomid
@wishing-and-hoping: dx: unexplained rx: IUI
@echocharlietango: dx: Unexplained Rx: trying naturally
@kgabhart: dx: Unexplained/PCOS Rx: letrozole + IUI
@linz36: dx: Low AFC, MFI Rx: testing/IUI
@jrm_14: dx: Adrenal/overian insufficiency, Borderline-low AMH, Low progesterone Rx: IUI w/ injectables.
@Bgreenfield10: dx: anovulatory PCOS, LPD Rx: Clomid + trigger
@serownarain: dx: in testing
@allisona66: dx: waiting for testing
@manhattanmama2: dx: unexplained Rx: IVF
@mirabelle33 dx: weak ovulation, possible LPD, AMA Rx: Injectables + Ovidrel + TI
@meganttc3: dx: PCOS, unexplained Rx: waiting to test
@mrsjcrane: dx: unexplained Rx: femara + trigger + TI + 2nd HCG booster
@mighty-mouse: dx:pcos & HA Rx: provera/letrozole + trigger
@ladystout08: dx: unknown Rx: waiting for testing
@leafyarch: dx: MFI, no thyroid Rx: IVF

NEWCOMERS:To be added to the Weekly Checkin, please answer the following:

1. How long have you been TTC?
2. What is your diagnosis?
3. What is your current Rx plan?

funkykey · May 2018

I'll go first! (LOL).

QOTW: I did not watch the royal wedding, but I looked at a LOT of photos, and I watched bits and pieces after. What a show!

@mirabelle33 - I can't believe you fainted after your MRI! But glad you called DH in time. Sad that it was inconclusive. Mid-June is not that far, now.

@mighty-mouse - Ugh, go away AF.

@ladystout08 - Congratulations! Great news!!!

@Bababatty - your message was so sweet, and meant a lot to me. We're not going for a second opinion right now - we're just hanging out for a couple of months. Our plan was to do another round of IVF maybe in August/September, but I don't think we'll see another RE just yet.

Hoping this FET is the one for you - keeping fingers crossed so, so tight!!!

@BWhitta - How was the lap?

AFM: I keep researching: "How many couples get pregnant after failed rounds of IVF?" and trying to narrow in on those with our diagnosis. I keep hoping, against all odds, that we will be one of those couples. If not this month, then next month.

Some days I feel like: "This will definitely happen for us, I just have to be persistent." Other days, I feel like I'm crazy. I actually cannot believe that, of all of my friends, and of everyone I know IRL - and even here - that I'm still here, childless, after years of TTC. It seems so random, and like a stroke of immense bad luck. It feels a little like a nightmare, and I feel like even *thinking* that I'm going to be pregnant one day is a sign of denial. I feel like I'm delusional, thinking that maybe one day we will be parents.

Even though our RE says another round of IVF is a good idea, I feel like: "We've tried all that and it didn't work." I often think: "Maybe I should just make peace with my lot in life." But then I sit with my husband and look at our life and it's beautiful and I think: "OK, let's try one more time. Let's just take one more kick at this can."

Anyway, we're paying down debt these next few months, preparing for another round. In the meantime, I'm hoping that I will somehow get KU-ed and we won't do more IVF. And I'm taking prenatals like a mofo.

meri-mac · May 2018

@funkykey Thanks for starting this. I think we all go through those swings of thoughts. Thinking you will be pregnant one day isn't denial or delusional, it is hopeful. We all need that in this process. To help me deal with the thoughts, I have back-up plans A to Z. I think "If we don't get pregnant, what will we do?" Often it is things like, move back into the city, save for a trip we really want, go back to school, etc. For me, those plans help me focus on the fact that life goes on; it can be just as full and rewarding. Let me know if you ever want to talk

QOTW: Did you watch the royal wedding? Yes! I am not a royalist, but I do love a good wedding. I really enjoyed it. The preacher was good if a little rambley and the choir was amazing!

Bababatty · May 2018

@funkykey Thank you for starting the thread! @GoldenKeys I know I had volunteered to start the thread if you couldn’t for some reason, and at the first opportunity I failed, so I’m sorry about that and glad @funkykey took charge!!

@funkykey I don’t think you’re crazy at all for thinking you’ll get pregnant one day. I agree that it’s a sign of hope (I also have a slight belief in the power of positive thinking so there’s that). I was definitely getting to the point of thinking I’d never see a positive HPT, and I know how depressing that is when you can feel your hope fading. So it’s good that you still feel good about continuing—and there have been a number of people on here recently who have gotten KU while waiting so I really hope you’re next!! For me and probably for you, too, I want to feel like I’ve done everything we possibly could within financial and personal reason (eg. surrogacy is out of the question, and neither one of us wants to use donor eggs or donor sperm) to try and conceive a biological child. It sounds like you’re not there yet, and that’s good; I’m glad you’re still fighting. And hey, at least you can enjoy some delicious summer cocktails!

Sorry that was a bit of a ramble. TL;DR You’re not crazy for still having hope.

@meri-mac I like your backup plans! My therapist has been recommending that. She says it’s good to be a few steps ahead so you don’t hit a cliff. It’s actually pushed us to consider adoption in a more meaningful way than “mmm maybe if we have to.”

AFM Is it sad that I’ve missed going to my RE? I feel lost when I’m not in a cycle. I spent lots of quality time with the office every day this week getting blood drawn so they could track my ovulation. I surged today and Transfer is on Wednesday.

I was trying to beg him to let me do IM progesterone (because I think I do better on it), which it’s really sad when you’re begging for the privilege of nightly IM shots. But to no avail—something about him not liking the interaction between the IM progesterone and the HCG booster i’ll be taking. So suppositories it is.

QOTW I did watch the royal wedding mostly because I love the littlest royals and I wanted a glimpse. So cute! But I watched it on Hulu at a much more reasonable time. It was lovely and I teared up at every shot of Meghan Markel’s Mom crying. I also love all the hymns they chose. Plus it gave me an opportunity to tease DH that I would absolutely leave him for a prince and I’m sad my chances are over. I remember St. Andrews was a popular study away venue when I was in college because of Prince William. I even tried to apply FOR college but my mom saw the application form and threw it away, lol. Scotland a bit too far.

emmasemm · May 2018

Sorry im so late to the party this week (and also failed as backup thread starter).

@funkykey the last four months between our IVF cycles was nice to not be tied down with all the appointments and worrying about being home in time for injections every evening, but also made me feel very lost at times not knowing what was going on with my body. So when the break is more good for you, then it’s the right thing. And the money is such a huge part. Which sucks even more. And why not be one of the special ones who sticks two fingers up at IF and gets KU naturally.

@meri-Mac hey friend from TTGP.

@bababatty haha “quality time with the office”. My local monitoring place has been taking more than an hour every time to wait, get seen, get the report and then pay. Definitely not efficient... but needs must. And I second you on the feeling crazy asking for shots and drugs, like we’re addicted to the most torturous version of meds we need, because more pain more gain.

AFM this week was tough. We thought we would not be able to start again this month #4 IVF. And we still might get cancelled early next week. Last month we had a power cut in my city which stopped the labs sending the BW through same day. This time the clinics fax machine broke and so they couldn’t receive the lab results (and we have some archaic laws about how patient data can be transferred... unless you’ve signed in blood...). And now it’s the weekend and no labs work weekends here. And the country my clinic is in has holiday on Monday.

So we will use four days of stims and HGH with a crazy price tag and then might get cancelled. But mentally I could not handle missing this cycle due to stupid simple technology issues. So we persuaded the RE to let us stim 4 days and take the cancellation risk. I hope after 4 days (when I’ll also have my first monitoring scan and BW they will be keen to let us keep going even if my FSH was not as low as they really wanted. This meant I spent most of yesterday sobbing like a banshee.

I think the hormone crash after the estrogen priming has generally made me more emotional. And of course all this Friday panic came about in the first place as the clinic wanted to time AF to start Tuesday or latest Wednesday, but she didn’t come until Thursday. I did tell them that my body does not like being ordered around! The good news that got lost in all of the chaos yesterday was that I have three follicles of 5-6mm ready and waiting for the stims to hit them. In the past I’ve always had a lead follie at baseline, so maybe the priming worked and was worth feeling like a drugged up sloth for two weeks! Only time will tell!!!

emmasemm · May 2018

Oh and royal wedding QOTW! I didn’t watch it live as we were out, but watched a lot of the reruns and looked at photos. I mean it was everywhere, so pretty hard to avoid. Especially as BBC is my go to news app.
There were some really touching moments and I loved how it was clearly their wedding, not following the official state wedding protocol.
The choir and the cellist were so amazing.
It was also a major celebrity spotting event! Some of the riders I knew when I used to live in the UK were even in the congregation in the chapel and at the evening party. But no naughty stories so far sadly!

meri-mac · May 2018

@emmasemm Hi friend. Sorry this is such a tough time for you. Just know that we are all rooting for you and sending virtual hugs

funkykey · May 2018

@meri-mac - I have back-up plans too. Totally. But I definitely find that even with the back-up plans, if you still want to try, not trying can be pretty tough! I don't miss the injections and the different FET drugs at all, and I wish I'd never had to do them. But at least going through an FET, I felt like I was doing something. As happy as I am to take a break, part of me is itching to get back on the horse and keep trying. I'm not ready to start living my Plan B life yet, you know?

@Bababatty - sometimes it amazes me at what I now consider within the realm of "financial and personal reason". When I start thinking through all the things we've already done, and then think about all the things I want to do, I just think: "Holy crow. How did this happen?"

Anyway, keeping FX for you this cycle!! Good luck this week!

ps. I also cried when I saw some of the video of Meghan Markle's mom. So sweet.

@emmasemm - OH NO!!! OMG, really hoping your cycle isn't cancelled. All that work!! Ugh!!! Good luck!

ChristenMA83 · May 2018

@bwhitta how did the surgery go? How frustrating to wait so long at the hospital!

@bababatty good to see you friend. Thanks for the creepy internet hugs

Wishing you so much luck with the tomorrow's FET!! Ugh on suppositories, I hate those things!

@ladystout08 congrats on the BFP. How did second beta go?

@funkykey I totally get your feels right now. It can be so frustrating to be surrounded by couples that take fertility for granted. Hugs to you and good luck with natural conception. To echo what the others have said, there is nothing wrong with keeping hope alive. I do it too even though our chances of conceiving naturally are next to nil, I keep thinking, it only takes that one little correctly shaped soldier to get through.

@emmasemm This sounds like such a stressful cycle. Really hoping it works out for you.

AFM: I was on vacation all last week with my three oldest friends and their families. The first night of them comparing and complaining about their kids was a little rough on me emotionally (especially since DH had joined two of the other husband's for a beer run) but after that it was easier. That first night I literally sat in a corner, silently...it was very hard not to leave the room but I didn't want to bring attention to my grief. They all knew our situation but unless you've been there I think it's impossible to understand. What's on my mind nearly 24/7 never even crosses most people's thoughts. In the end, it was a nice relaxing week enjoying the good company, beaches, beautiful views and a couple winery tours. Fingers crossed the excess of wine we purchased will last me to the next BFP.

*TW* I had my BW this morning to test my HCG levels again to see if they've dropped to zero. The first time we did this was the Thursday before vacation and I absolutely broke down sobbing - I hadn't realized how hard it would be to go back to the clinic. This morning I was able to hold it together. Hoping the HCG is to zero so we can be done with this part of the process and start moving forward. *End TW*

DH and I have decided to try another FET before we do another ER. We're hoping we'll be able to transfer our last little frostie in August. Between now and then I'm going to focus on losing the 10lbs I gained during the first cycle. If this FET doesn't take, we'll be benched until March...We're trying to avoid going into debt for this process and can't cover the cost of another IVF cycle & stims until March - at which time we'll be able to do the stims, HGH and PGS testing and hopefully avoid a repeat of cycle 1....

But hopefully the August transfer works and we can use that March money to decorate a nursery or put a down payment on a house.

ladystout08 · May 2018

*TW pregnancy mentioned*
I've 3 betas now and they all look great. Had an U/S this morning and saw a gestational sac but that was it. I've only made it past week 5 once and he turns 5 today. This week is full of anxiety for me. We have another U/S next week.

BWhitta · May 2018

Hey y’all, so sorry I forgot to update, it has been crazy since my lap! It went well, but recovery has been SO much harder than I anticipated! I’m a week out now and finally feeling more like myself! He found minimal endometriosis, (stage 1) but several fibroid tumors on my uterus, a cyst on each tube, and something with the ends of my tubes (filia I think he called them, they’re the finger like things at the ovaries) they were all bunched together so he opened those up. So he was really positive about everything so I feel like it’s good news! Lots of little changes that will hopefully add up! I had my wound check this morning and everything looks good, my follow up with him is June 25 so we are back to just waiting around until then. I’m not sure when we’re allowed to have sex again, but I don’t think I want to try naturally this cycle (I actually got my period the morning of my surgery) it just makes me too nervous, I think I want to wait for the hormones and monitoring to give those eggs the best chance! What’s one more month of abstaining, haha. My husband probably doesn’t agree

aukeev · May 2018

Newbie here!

1. How long have you been TTC?
18 months

2. What is your diagnosis?
PCOS

3. What is your current Rx plan?
2,000 mg Metformin daily, 250 mg Letrozole CD 3-7, 600 mg Estradiol CD 10-12, 400 mg Progesterone CD 18-30, contemplating Ovidrel trigger shot on CD 16.

ChristenMA83 · May 2018

@oklahomak welcome to the board. Hope your stay is short and sweet.

@BWhitta that sounds like a lot of progress. Sorry recovery is so rough.

Quick update on my bloodwork this morning. HCG is still at 6.8 and they want to see it at 0...so I have to go back Friday for another bloodtest

Bababatty · May 2018

@funkykey RE: the money—DH’s recent DNA frag test was OOP and when we were paying at the desk, they said apologetically, “It’s $1,000.” We just laughed and said, “We consider anything under $10K to be reasonable.” I’m shocked at how we got this way!

@emmasemm OMG how have you not lost your mind? I think I would be spitting fire at everyone in sight! What ended up happening? Are you able to go forward? I am so sorry you’re going through all of this and all your delays are for non-medical reasons!

@oklahomak Welcome!

@BWhitta Sorry the recovery is so rough but that’s great that they found and cleared up a few things! FX that this plus all of your hard work do the trick. I don’t think I’d want to try right now either if you’ve been knocked down like this.

@ChristenMA83 That must have been so hard! I’m so sorry you had to sit through that. It’s so true that people just don’t register how hard it can be to listen to all of that, especially when you’re having a MC. I’m sorry your HCG is taking it’s sweet time. It’s especially frustrating to be SO CLOSE to that 5 threshold. I’ve been there. So much bloodwork!

mirabelle33 · May 2018

My apologies for the super late post. I'll mostly just reply to what's been going on with all of you ...

@ladystout08 congrats on your surprise BFP and great beta numbers! Sending best wishes for a happy and healthy 9 months!

@Bababatty keeping my fx that your FET goes perfectly today and that your more relaxed attitude pays off this time!

@BWhitta you've been in my thoughts since last week and I'm so glad to hear that everything went well with your lap! The news is sounding really positive and I have high hopes that these will have been the necessary changes that bring you success. I'm sorry that you still have some waiting to do. I would probably feel the same way about abstaining for another month. My apologies for forgetting, but what treatment will you be starting after your follow-up in June?

@funkykey I really relate to what you said about going back and forth between having hope and thinking you're delusional for having hope. I've never liked being made to feel like a fool and I've spent a lot of my life trying to avoid that feeling, but this process has forced me to confront it head on. At this point in the journey, I've come to the conclusion that having hope isn't foolish, but rather it's brave, and ultimately that is the kind of person I want to be. I still struggle with it on an almost daily basis though. Try to enjoy this little respite and I have confidence that you will be updating us someday soon with your success story. Until then, don't give up the hope

@meri-mac I also have multiple back-up plans and I really like yours!

@emmasemm I am sorry to hear about all of your frustrations! It's so annoying when technology let's us down at a crucial moment and to have it happen two cycles in a row is just plain crazy. I hope that eventually you were able to focus on the good news about your follies and that you've been able to continue to stim this week. Fx and keep us posted!!

@ChristenMA83 I'm sorry that your vacation started out in that way, but I'm glad it turned around and that you were able to have a relaxing weekend. Also, enjoy that wine while you can! I'm really hoping your little frostie will be a fighter in August and that you can spend that money in other ways

@oklahomak welcome! I'm sorry you find yourself here, but hope it will be a short stay.

mirabelle33 · May 2018

AFM, I have just been checking all the testing off my list that the RE ordered at our consult a couple weeks ago. So far I have managed to do everything, except for a consult with a genetic oncologist to discuss my family history with breast cancer. I don't think I've mentioned it here before, but now that I am being forced to deal with it, I might as well put it out there. My mother was 38 when diagnosed and her sister, who now has metastatic breast cancer, was 46. There are also three female cousins on their side of the family that have had it as well (two of them in their early to mid-40s). The good news is that my aunt and two of her cousins were tested for the BRCA mutation and were all negative. In the past, my mother has always refused to be tested, so I'm hoping they won't insist on that because it could open up a can of worms that I'd rather not have to deal with. But apparently the law in France is that they cannot test me for the gene mutation unless someone related to me that has had breast cancer has also tested positive. So, like I said, I hope they will accept the negative test results from my aunt and not force me to ask my mother, but of course I will if it comes to that. The first available appointment with the genetic oncologist is July 10th, but I put myself on a waiting list, so hopefully something will open up before then. It doesn't look like it will hold up our next appointment with the RE though, which is already scheduled for June 13th. DH will do his testing next week on the 6th. So basically we're just finishing up testing and waiting patiently for the 13th.

QOTW: Did you watch the royal wedding? I wasn't planning to, but since it was on around lunch time here, I did have it on in the background. I thought it was really lovely and agree with others that seeing Meghan's mom was especially moving.

ETA I realized something I said made me sound irresponsible. When I said "but now that I am being forced to deal with it" that was in reference to the genetic testing and not to the fact that I'm at high risk for breast cancer. I have had yearly breast ultrasounds since I was 28 and for the past few years have had a mammogram as well. My last one was in March and thankfully it was fine.

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