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Bridesmaid in August- eek

mmarie314mmarie314 member
edited May 2018 in January 2019 Moms
So my goal is to keep this pregnancy under wraps for a bit because of the nature of my job and boss. That being said, I am in a wedding this August (18th) and the dresses are already ordered and they will arrive about 3 weeks before the event.

Should I be giving the bride a heads up asap? I mean there is a chance the dress could fit.... its pretty flowy in the stomach. BUT- it might not fit at all. Is it rude to wait a bit.... like until the dresses come in to tell her?

edit due to spelling
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Re: Bridesmaid in August- eek

  • skilouiseskilouise member
    edited May 2018
    I think it's fair to wait until you're at least 12 weeks or so. However, waiting all the way until late July/ early August seems unfair to the bride.  If she asked you to be in her wedding, you're presumably pretty close, and she might be really hurt and upset if one of her bridesmaids/ close friends waited that long to tell her. 

    Also, how long ago were the dresses ordered? Could you call the store and try to switch your order to the next size up?

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  • UnbreakableKimmySchmidtUnbreakableKimmySchmidt member
    Is this your first pregnancy? How many weeks will you be at the wedding? My first pregnancy I didn’t start showing until 23 weeks...broke out maternity jeans earlier but was really in my usual clothes for a long time. Every body is different but if the dress is flowy you may be able to get away with your current size. 
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  • julesf817julesf817 member
    I’m in my sister’s wedding in October and I’m SO worried about the dress. Could you call the bridal salon and ask their opinion? I know it’s possible for dresses to be taken out or have extra fabric added. That’s my plan at the moment. I’m worried I’ll be huge and it won’t fit at all

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  • skilouiseskilouise member
    Keep in mind also that before the wedding itself, there will be the shower  (at which you might be showing) and maybe the bachelorette party (at which you won't be able to drink).  Both of those present the risk that the bride will guess, and realize you're hiding something from her.  Plus, the longer you wait, the greater the chance she ends up being told by someone other than you. I think honesty and prompt disclosure are the way to go here. 


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  • Ghostie625Ghostie625 member
    I would just tell her. Maybe not right this second, but as soon as you're comfortable doing so. Besides the fact that you two are presumably close, if the dress is going to be an issue with a baby bump the two of you will want to figure out a solution earlier than later. Was the dress ordered from a smaller store or a huge retailer like David's Bridal? That could impact the options you have if it doesn't fit.
    If you don't tell her and the dress comes in 3 weeks before and doesn't fit and can't be altered to make it fit then you'll stress out both yourself and the bride and that's probably not good for either of you, tbh.
    Remember, it's always easier to take clothes in then it is to let them out. If there's still time to order a size up that might not be a bad idea, and if it is from a major chain you might even be able to return or resell the one you don't need.
    Are you able to post a picture of the dress (or one similar to it)? That may help some of us give better input on whether or not it would fit. The store could also advise you on the best course of action.
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  • baileym9126baileym9126 member
    As previous posters have said, I think you should tell her sooner than later, but wait until you’re comfortable. I’d also definitely call the retailer and see if you can get one size up. I’ve been in a couple weddings where pregnancy was going to be an issue when it came to how the dress fit, and the seamstress always said it’s far easier to take dresses in them let them out.
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  • mrsmangmrsmang member
    I have a somewhat similar problem, except the wedding is in November. Assuming all goes well I would be 7 months. We haven’t ordered dresses yet. I did tell the bride (even though I havent told my family yet or most friends) since I would want her support anyway. She offered to wait to order dresses until my first trimester is over. My bigger worry is figuring out just what size I’ll have to order.  I’ve never been pregnant so I don’t even have a reference for what my body did in the past. My neighbor is a seamstress so I will probably ask her opinion before I order. 

    Hopefully you can talk to the bride and the retailer, or at the very least someone who could do the alterations and figure out what they think your best option would be. 
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  • mmarie314mmarie314 member
    Hi ladies,
    I appreciate all the feedback. This will be my second. With my first I had a noticeable bump around 17 weeks.  I am certainly not trying to hurt her feelings but I also don’t feel I need to tell her like today. I will plan to tell her around 12 weeks and in the meantime take many of your advice and see what the bridal shop recommends!



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