FFFC 5/18

emmaaa · May 2018

Not guaranteed to be Flame Free!

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pttomato · May 2018

My sister and I have kids that are the same age. Hers is pretty chill and a great sleeper, mine is strong-willed and thinks sleep is torture. She’s always been so smug about how they are such great parents who have it all figured out, plus she’s a big one upper about how her kid is doing everything earlier or better. She recently had a second and I hope she is a difficult child.

Duckie678 · May 2018

I'm currently wearing maternity jeans and a pullover at work because I can. I'm excited my husband is going to a poker night tonight so I can watch Friends without him complaining. I plan on getting popeyes on my way home for dinner, because my son is going to his biodads for the weekend and I'm indulging in being alone for the first time in I can't even tell you.

ouiser_boudreaux · May 2018

I watch way more CW shows than any 30yo should

ouiser_boudreaux · May 2018

Duckie678 said:

I'm currently wearing maternity jeans and a pullover at work because I can. I'm excited my husband is going to a poker night tonight so I can watch Friends without him complaining. I plan on getting popeyes on my way home for dinner, because my son is going to his biodads for the weekend and I'm indulging in being alone for the first time in I can't even tell you.

I would be wearing maternity jeans but I’m wfh today so I’m in pajamas. And girls weekend this weekend kid free AND a massage. It’s going to be glorious!!

Duckie678 · May 2018

I need a massage in my life. I have a gift card for one, it may get used this weekend. I'm jealous of your jammies. I can't wait to put sweats on tonight!

sfgiantsgamerbabe · May 2018

@Duckie678 Me too! My regular pants are uncomfortable so I’m busting out my maternity jeans but they’re a little baggy right now.

@ouiser_boudreaux I watch CW shows too and I’m 33. They’re mostly the DC superhero shows.I watch Arrow, Flash, Supergirl, and Jane the Virgin. No shame!

My confession, DH and I took today off and we’re going to see Deadpool. DS is at daycare and we haven’t been to a movie since Last Jedi.

olivemomma · May 2018

I plan on totally geeking out over the royal wedding this weekend. I figure it will be a couple of decades before there is another one like this so I’m going to enjoy it!

galactickates · May 2018

I major side eye the people who say "you mean sex? I'm going to let my child tell me their gender after they are born" and then the second they know the sex they name their child feminine or masculine names AND refer to them as she or he. This makes you a hypocrite.

ouiser_boudreaux · May 2018

@olivemomma we are doing a watch party complete with fancy tea, English tea yummies, and fascinators

nononorman · May 2018

@duckie678 I haven’t stopped wearing maternity jeans/clothes since I had my daughter 9-10 mo ago. Seamless transition.

I have become more judgy of other moms since having my daughter, not less like allegedly was supposed to happen.

AliKay20 · May 2018

I’m 4 weeks pregnant yet since we found out a few days ago, DH has been doing the dishes bc I’m sensitive to...chores masked as “smell.” This is going to be a long journey for DH.

emmaaa · May 2018

galactickates said:

I major side eye the people who say "you mean sex? I'm going to let my child tell me their gender after they are born" and then the second they know the sex they name their child feminine or masculine names AND refer to them as she or he. This makes you a hypocrite.

SAY IT AGAIN FOR THE PEOPLE IN THE BACK! All of this. You can't have it both ways.

pttomato · May 2018

I don’t hover over DD on the playground. I keep an eye on her and intervene/help her as necessary, but otherwise I watch her from a nearby bench. I know what she’s capable of so I don’t stand right next to her every time she climbs something she’s safely climbed 100 times before.

emmaaa · May 2018

@pttomato How old is she? I feel like this is fine when it is age appropriate. Me, OTOH, I have to be beside my daughter because she's 1.5 yo and doesn't understand not to walk off the side where the ladders and other climbing things are. I also choose the least busy time to go because if big kids are there then I leave,

pttomato · May 2018

@emmaaa She’s 21 months. When she first started playing on the play structures around a year I stayed very close. I started giving her more space a few months ago when I was confident she understood not to jump off the sides or something like that.

BitterBetty12 · May 2018

I used pregnancy hormones to guilt my DH into taking me out for Thai food and a Barnes and Noble date an hour away from our apartment with DD tonight. (*while tearing up* "But that's OUR place and we went there while I was pregnant and DD has never been there and she NEEDS to go"). Could I have settled for a local Thai place? Sure. But where's the fun in that.

emmaaa · May 2018

@pttomato HA my daughter would just jump somedays I'm sure of it...she's a daredevil but finally starting to understand how far up things are

sparkymcgeee · May 2018

When DD was 2.5 we were at the park and she was climbing normal stairs to get to the slide. Had a railing and everything. She fell about 5 feet onto the ground and landed on her back. Not thinking about it I scooped her up to check her out. I noticed her foot at a wonky angle and thought for sure she broke her ankle. The force knocked her shoe off and startled her but she didn't cry. She wriggled out of my arms and tried to go right back up the stairs. Thanks heavens for rubber ground cover. She was totally fine. I was a bit more cautious about how close I am to my littles now. I don't hover anymore but they are 7 and almost 5. When they are under 3 you better believe I did.

Also, she broke her arm falling off a slide about three weeks ago. She's my 7yo. I don't think as a mom you can ever really win or prevent playground injuries.

tosh24 · May 2018

I'm ordering in sushi tonight. It will only be veggie/fully cooked sushi but people still seem to side eye me for that. Whatevs.

Ghostie625 · May 2018

tosh24 said:

I'm ordering in sushi tonight. It will only be veggie/fully cooked sushi but people still seem to side eye me for that. Whatevs.

I've been reading Expecting Better and one of the things it discusses is eating sushi during pregnancy, and basically it says that the risks of eating sushi while pregnant are the same as when not pregnant. So I'd stay away from gas stations sushi, but from an actual restaurant is probably fine. No side-eye from me!
(Although I say this as someone who doesn't like seafood, period, so it's not a risk I think too hard about.)

skilouise · May 2018

@Ghostie625

I've been reading Expecting Better too! I really like it, for the most part. Overall, I think most of her conclusions are well explained and researched.

She does occasionally fall into the same trap of making a blanket rule statement without explaining it, though. For example, I wasn't a fan of her blanket assertion that all steak needs to be cooked well done. I've yet to see any solid evidence that there's a risk of bacterial contamination in the middle of a solid piece of steak, so long as the outside is seared to a sufficiently high temp.

BitterBetty12 · May 2018

tosh24 said:

I'm ordering in sushi tonight. It will only be veggie/fully cooked sushi but people still seem to side eye me for that. Whatevs.

I ate cooked rolls allll the time while pregnant with DD. People gave me lip about cross contamination but as long as you’re getting it from your normal place and haven’t had any issues there before, ENJOY! Toward the end I accidentally ate a raw roll too.

tosh24 · May 2018

@BitterBetty12 @Ghostie625 Yup, that's what I figure. I have (legitimately diagnosed) OCD which is mainly surrounding food/germs/contamination so I rarely eat out, and when I do, it's only at specific places that I trust. I've been going to this one sushi place near my house for about 9 years. I am aware that there is a risk of contamination, but that basically goes for anywhere you eat out, and even your own home (if you're not obsessive like me lol).

ETA: I also ran it by my doctor when pregnant with DS and she told me to go for it. Said the seaweed was really good for me anyway

RVAmom315 · May 2018

I had lunch meat twice this week. And didn't warm it up. Sorry not sorry.

AliKay20 · May 2018

@tosh24 you & me both! California rolls ftw!

Jackiemxoxo · May 2018

I took DD1 with me shopping (5yo) and she is usually pretty easy. Not 5 minutes after being in Maurice's she tripped over her own feet and knocked over 2 huge clothing racks. I was so mortified and kept apologizing profusely to the girl who had to clean it all up. I told her I was gonna leave her an awesome review on their survey thing. Then, I take DD to Target and got her a strawberry frappucino and 10 minutes later she trips again and the drink flies across the floor but luckily nothing came out.. The girl has 2 left feet. I cannot win today.

BitterBetty12 · May 2018

@tosh24 I also have legitimately diagnosed OCD. Mine manifests mostly as obsessions about health related issues. Don’t you hate that we have to actually clarify that it’s legitimately diagnosed? Maybe that’s an UO but I HATE how so many people throw around ‘I’m OCD about...’.

tosh24 · May 2018

@BitterBetty12 Wow! There were a couple of us OCDers on the March 18 board I was on, but that's the only time I've really come across anyone else. I don't know anyone else IRL with OCD. Sorry you deal with it too, but glad to have someone here who "gets it". Since going through fertility treatments the last two years, I have also added total obsession/anxiety surrounding my health to the mix. It was so hard to inject myself with all the medications. I constantly had panic attacks that I was going to die. Oh I have a pain in my leg - has my high estrogen given me a blood clot? I'm short of breath - pulmonary embolism? Heart defect? Ugh, it is soooo exhausting. Sometimes I just want to drug myself so I'll pass out and my brain will shut off. The March 18 group had a mental health check in which was great. Maybe if I get to stay on this BMB I'll start one up.

BitterBetty12 · May 2018

@tosh24 I think that’s a great idea! And yes those are the feelings I struggle with all the time. It escalated after DD was born and I was diagnosed with PPA. I’d be short if breath and convince myself I had pulmonary hypertension and was going to die. I was so anxious it manifested in my body as muscle twitches and I convinced myself I had ALS. I was miserable and it ruined some of my early months with DD.

justaplainbagel · May 2018

@tosh24 I think a mental health board would be great. I know some women coping with depression/anxiety/bipolar/OCD etc, have to go off their meds during pregnancy. I had to but I'm handling things a lot better than I expected. Then again I was weaned off for a month before in preparation for TTGP

pttomato · May 2018

I also agree a mental health check-in would be great. I have anxiety and went off my meds for my previous pregnancy and it got pretty bad. I’m taking Zoloft for this pregnancy and I feel really guilty that I’m exposing the baby to meds. But I also feel guilty to exposing my daughter to high levels of anxiety and depression so it’s like I can’t win.

sparkymcgeee · May 2018

I am down for mental health check in too. I've had depression and anxiety since 14. I've had ante-partum depression (that's when the changes of pregnancy causes depression. Typically having the baby will even out the hormones. It's like the opposite of PPD), I've had PPD/PPA, and the most recent was PPD after my loss in October. Because that's a cruel twist of the knife. Getting PPD from the hormone changes while dealing with the grief and depression of a loss. So count me in.

CoastieGirl79 · May 2018

@tosh24 and @BitterBetty12 get outta my head! I feel like I could have written portions of each of your posts. I have health anxiety. I get palpitations from crazy hormones. And you know what that means....heart attack. Have leg pain? Blood clot. Have a headache? Aneurism. Feeling dizzy? Stroke. I'm right there with you. It can be exhausting.

BitterBetty12 · May 2018

@pttomato Also taking Zoloft this pregnancy. My GP put me on it specifically because it was the best option during pregnancy and she anticipated I would still be on it when I eventually had baby 2. My OB is fine with it and said if it’s working for me the benefits far outweigh the small chance of risks.

@CoastieGirl79 I’m sorry you deal with health anxiety too! It is not a club I would want anyone to be in. It can be almost debilitating. I would say right now is probably the first time in my life where I’ve felt I had some kind of control over it and it’s liberating! But those thoughts still creep in. Even after 2 good ultrasounds I was worried for a week that I had an ectopic because of pain on my right side.

pttomato · May 2018

@BitterBetty12 My PCP is strongly in favor of me taking the Zoloft. She thinks my anxiety is why my daughter is “spirited” and a bad sleeper.

The benefits definitely outweigh the risks for me but part of me will always feel guilty that I couldn’t manage it without meds.

BitterBetty12 · May 2018

@pttomato I spent so many years convincing myself that I was ‘managed’ and that because I could ‘deal with’ and eventually rationalize through my feelings (over and over again) that I didn’t need medication. I fought so hard not to take it. I was 5 months PP before I finally gave in. I cried so hard before I started because I felt like a failure. And I was afraid of what needing medication meant. But now that I’m on the other side of the fog, I’m proud that I was finally able to make the hard decision. I feel SO much better. I know it’s hard to forgive yourself but you do not need to feel guilty for making the choice to be a healthier you!

kaf1788 · May 2018

@BitterBetty12 I feel this so hard. I’ve had anxiety issues my whole life but became so good at lying to everyone and myself because I thought taking medication was some kind of failure. My teen years were a constant cycle of my mom sending me to therapists and me charming them into telling her I was totally fine. I finally gave in last year when I was having daily panic attacks from a new job/wedding planning combo and now I’m like what took me so long??? I know that whatever small risks there may be for taking celexa while pregnant they are outweighed a million times by the benefits.

pttomato · May 2018

I know logically it’s not my fault, I’ve had it my whole life. I’m sure being told to get over it growing up didn’t help. Plus, I was on Celexa for years before I went off to TTC (at the suggestion of my PCP then) and I don’t like how I feel on them.

sweetyjenj · May 2018

@tosh24 I'm totally down for a mental health check in!

I have anxiety, too, and horrible ADHD (non-hyperactive). I would say I have mild health anxiety, and I think my PCP thinks so. Last time I went in I had 5 problems I was confusedc was wrong, and he just listened and said, "you know what I think?" I said "you think I have a little health anxiety and it's all in my head?" He said "I kind of wonder..." Paused, then tried to give a legit theory to my issues and it seemed like BS. My problem, is my ADHD also leaves me overwhelmed with everything and I procrastinate bc I don't want to think about it, so when I DO finally go to the doctor, I have like 10 things to talk about. Now that I'm pregnant there's things I didn't get resolved and I'm afraid they're going to cause legit issues.

Anyway... I've stopped talking ADHD meds, but I'm studying to take my final oral exam to become a fully licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and I'm afraid I won't be able to study as well. Which increases my anxiety. Which makes my procrastination worse. It's a vicious cycle.

pttomato · May 2018

I also think doctors make it worse. When I was diagnosed with GD they went into the things that can go wrong if your blood sugar is too high, but also you need to eat more carbs or you’ll go into ketosis and damage the baby’s brain development, and your baby won’t grow if you’re blood sugar isn’t high enough. My endo last time even admitted to try to scare people because otherwise people don’t take it seriously. But then other doctors say that’s not true, eat fewer carbs. They don’t even all agree on blood sugar targets. And then they wondered why I felt like everything I ate was hurting the baby in someway. And my PCP now is pro-SSRI pregnancy but the one before said it was too dangerous.

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