PAIF Check-in Second half of May

zamoraspin · May 2018

Hey y'all, have noticed this is not getting started. I feel a bit weird starting it as I am not PAIF, but I also know it is overwhelming to sign on for starting a thread when you have PAIF/PGAL anxiety. So anyway, here is a prompt I found from another BMB and maybe our PAIF ladies can decide what works best for format (structured, loose, etc.) and how often to check-in.

Note: This thread will include discussion of infertility and loss. If these topics are triggering for you, please take care of yourself while reading and posting here.

This thread is for those of us who went through infertility testing and treatments before becoming pregnant. Many of us have had different struggles to get to this place and face different anxiety and concerns now. This thread is for us to support each other, and we hope it will be a safe space. Though this thread starts on Saturdays, please feel free to post here at any time during the week, whether for good news or bad. Consider this an ongoing conversation.

This thread is for those who have experienced infertility. The struggles we discuss may or may not apply to those who became pregnant easily. If you have not experienced infertility, please be considerate and sensitive if you feel the need to post in this thread.

jess5263 · May 2018

I guess I can kick this off by sharing the rest of my story.

We've been TTC for about 3 1/2 years. Went through multiple cycles of femara + TI and labs with no success through my OB and finally pushed for an RE referral. Got in to see them finally and went through all the usual testing but didn't come up with an answer. We started IUI's in July of last year and on the 5th one I finally got my very first BFP in January. That one ended in a MMC around 8 weeks. After my body regulated after that, we started back and got pregnant on the 6th IUI cycle. I'm hoping and praying that this one sticks around. We desperately want our THB!

baileym9126 · May 2018

@Jess5263 I’m keeping my fingers crossed all goes well for you this time!

We’ve been TTC for just under 3 years. I somehow managed to get pregnant on my own in June 2015, but then had a MMC at 10 weeks (I’d gone for an ultrasound at 8 weeks and was measuring a week behind, but there was a heartbeat). After that I actually started to track my cycle and found out I had an 8 day luteal phase. I started seeing a specialist in November 2016 after no luck on our own (was diagnosed with PCOS) and became pregnant again in April 2017 with ferma, follice tracking, and trigger shot. That ended in a MMC, too (same thing, saw heartbeat, but was measuring a week behind). In January of this year I was referred to a fertility clinic for IUI and got pregnant on our second attempt. My doctor put me on progesterone and low dose aspirin to see if that would help. I have my first ultrasound on May 22 and am hoping the baby finally measures on track!

tosh24 · May 2018

Thank you so much @zamora_spin for starting this. I noticed it wasn't getting started but my PAIF/PGAL anxiety wouldn't let me start it.

I shared a lot of my story in my intro but I'll recap here:

DH and I are just shy of our birthdays - I'll be 35 and he'll be 38. We have been married for 12 years and have struggled with unexplained secondary infertility for 9 of those years (during those 9 years we were lucky enough to get our DS with a little help from an RE). Just within the last year it's been suspected that my issue is likely progressing endometriosis. In 2016, after 4.5 years TTC on our own (DH didn't want to go back to the RE after DS was born), we spontaneously became pregnant. As luck would have it, I caught parvovirus from DS' school which caused a lot of complications for the pregnancy and I ended up losing my daughter to a massive SCH shortly after seeing her wave her arms and legs around at my last u/s. I was giving a presentation at work when I hemorrhaged and the whole experience was exceptionally traumatic. I'm still in therapy dealing with PTSD. After recovering physically, DH and I went back to the RE and started IUIs. On our 3rd IUI, we got a BFP but I had a MMC around 6 weeks. We attempted two more IUIs unsuccessfully and moved on to IVF. We were extremely lucky to end up with 10 frozen blasts from our IVF cycle. We had a FET in February which was a BFN, a FET in March that ended in a quick CP, and my current pregnancy is a result of our 3rd FET in April. To say my anxiety is through the roof is an understatement. I just try to get through each day the best I can. This morning I sat in the bathroom and counted down how many hours I have to get through until I can go to sleep tonight. Being PAIF/PGAL is probably one of the hardest things I've ever had to do.

Wishing all of us here healthy pregnancies with beautiful THBies come Dec/Jan

Augusta108 · May 2018

Thank you for starting this thread, @zamora_spin! I’m another one who was wishing for it but too anxious to start it myself!

DH and I started trying right after our wedding in October 2016...Once we finally started testing with a RE in December 2017 (had to wait a full year since I was 34 at the time!) we learned pretty quickly that we were dealing with dual factor infertility and that IVF would be our only chance to conceive a child. We did our first IVF cycle in April and it was a real roller coaster of emotions, starting with my father unexpectedly passing away on the day of our baseline appointment. Most of my stims period is just a blur to me, I was so exhausted and so sad. We then had only 1 egg of our 6 successfully fertilize, and had to wait 5 days to see if we would even have anything to transfer. (Our clinic only does 5 day transfers and doesn’t check on them at all in between!) Fortunately our blastocyst looked “beautiful” and has apparently settled in nicely, but I’m still terrified something is going to go wrong. I keep telling myself the odds are in our favor, but at the same time it feels like we beat the odds so much in getting pregnant on our first cycle when we had everything riding on one embryo that part of me feels like this luck can’t last...

I’m glad there are other PAIF ladies here to talk to over the coming months, I’m pretty sure this anxiety is going to stick around for quite a while!

kiwieloping · May 2018

Thanks for starting us off @zamora_spin

We got our BFP after 28 months of trying. I also had to wait a year to see a Dr. @augusta108 because I was 34 too. Then after some testing my local Dr. told me the cause of our IF was likely a "large" fibroid they saw in my uterus. Our closest fertility clinic is about a 5 hr drive away but I pushed for a referral anyway. We finally got in with an RE/FS there and after a month of additional tests including a sonohystogram which showed the fibroid was actually small and not in my uterus at all. He said my uterus was 100% normal. The RE said the only abnormal result from either me or DH was a lower AMH level. We then had a bunch of timing issues around Christmas with the clinics holidays and when my CD1 landed so it took another 2 months before we could do a cycle monitoring- which included about 40 hrs of driving for me in two weeks in the middle of a Canadian winter. After all of that still unexplained IF and the RE recommended we avoid IUI and go straight for IVF. He said IUI would not increase chances because DHs SA results we so good that a scrub would not increase anything and he did not want to give me any medications etc as I was O'ing normally. Any additional meds etc. could make me loose viable eggs and with the low AMH / ovarian reserve he said we should prioritize IVF.

We were waiting to be able to start on the our universal healthcare plans IVF plan and we had our miracle - we conceived naturally. This is only my 2nd BFP. We had a CP about a year ago. I'm 6+1 and teetering between being over the moon and being scared it won't stick.

PAIF Check-in Second half of May

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